Book 1: Wake Up Call
by Kei Jones
Summary: Jacob finds himself torn between his desire to find Leah and the need to protect La Push from a gang of vengeful vampires. Slowly things are changing for the La Push wolves as everyone gets a wake up call.
1. A Quiet Calling

A Quiet Calling

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters because then that would make life way too easy and would've made an AWESOME movie. Why? Because there would've been some serious fighting in Breaking Dawn.**

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Things had changed; things had been changing for a long time. At least for Leah Clearwater they had. The entire pack, sans her, was now imprinted on and all their time was now spent with their imprints. Leah's bitterness and feelings of resentment over imprinting had long since disappeared being overcome with indifference and finally acceptance. Who was she to say what made others happy? Who was she to continue believing that Sam was the one meant to be her everything? People broke up all the time and her situation was no different. Sure she had come close to falling in love a second time but that fell through before it even had a chance to get started. And for that she was grateful.

Without the immediate danger of vampires patrolling wasn't a 'necessity' as it was years ago when they were all first going through the changes. Bella Swan was no longer an accident prone human being who drew bloodthirsty, magical and mythological creatures towards her. Now she was one of them and as far as their world went she was nothing special; just another vampire. But then again, she was 'special' to someone. Everyone was 'special' to another. Sam and Emily, Paul and Rachel, Jacob and Renesmee and the list went on and on. However, Leah didn't feel _special_, she didn't have that kind of love; the love that songs and movies talk about. Her mother loved her she was certain of that because after Seth imprinted their relationship and bond grew. Even Billy and Old Quil had started to become more than just 'Elders' or 'Daddy's old friends' anymore. She could talk to them about anything and everything that was bothering her and they all listened patiently and offered whatever advice they had. The whole 'wolf' thing was still an uphill battle but she took it day-by-day.

In the end, Leah realized that she wanted more – that she _needed_ more out of life than just running, sniffing around and tending to the Elders. She loved having something else to do that seemed somewhat normal, no matter how domestic it was. Despite, the expanded territory, since she was really the only one patrolling she basically had free range over La Push and the south end of Makah, she still felt like she was in a rut. The word had continually been running through her mind, playing like a broken record, repeating itself over and over again. The word had become an obsession, the Chinese water torture that was giving her an anxious tick. The walls felt as if they were literally closing in around her and to escape the claustrophobia sensation she, Leah Clearwater, has been running around in her wolf form for two weeks. She can't help but to laugh at the irony of the whole situation. Years ago she hated being a wolf and now it was her only relief, her freedom; where she could be at peace.

It is during this 'peace' that her deeply hidden and long ignored thoughts have been slowly moving to the surface. 'Run', 'escape', 'explore', 'wander', 'travel', 'seek'; basically it was time for Leah to go. Leah had recalled Jacob letting the 'wolf' in him take over when he was still harping on Bella Swan. She had never done it while by herself but she finally did and when she came to she was in British Columbia eating moose. The moose didn't freak her out but the fact that she had wandered so far from home based upon instincts and that there was still some strange pull telling her to still go further north. She was heading home now because she needed to talk to her mother, Billy and especially Old Quil. Leah didn't have the luxury to just up and leave home based on a sudden whim or urge. She still had her responsibilities being the Elders.

Old Quil was suffering from arthritis and Quil would help out but he was starting to spend more time in Makah with Claire than in La Push. Billy's diabetes was slightly getting worse and Rachel was pregnant, Paul worked and Jacob was with the Cullens. Then there was her own mother to think of. Leah knew that the imprints didn't mean to become the pack's entire universe and reason for existing but they were all very much prone to 'focus' on their own worlds. And their worlds consisted of their own immediate family, thoughts, hopes and dreams. Taking care of her mother and the Elders was something she took upon herself and truly enjoyed doing.

Coming out of the woods Leah stretches her muscles, quickly dresses and heads over towards Old Quil's place. She is greeted with a warm smile once she walks through the door and is mildly alarmed to see Billy and Sue sitting in the living room with him. "Where the hell have you been?" Sue questions with slight alarm evident in her but a small smile playing on her lips.

"We thought you were kidnapped for a while there." Billy says with his usual playful smile.

"British Columbia." Leah answers truthfully as she takes a seat with a heavy sigh. The Elders immediately grow serious sensing something is wrong. Leah begins to tell them about her feelings; the claustrophobia, the restlessness, the aggression. About letting the 'wolf' inside her take over and coming to weeks later in British Columbia and having to fight the pull to just come home. The knowledge frightens her because she doesn't know what's going on with her and her spirit. She's, generally, in control since learning how to control her temper.

"I think you should go see what she wants." Old Quil says speaking up after a few minutes of silence after Leah is done talking. She looks up at him wide eyed, surprised and confused. She looks over to Billy and Sue to see them both nodding their heads in agreement. Were the Elders telling _her_ to leave home – to leave La Push?

"Your wolf spirit and you are one and the same, Leah." Billy says wisely smiling at her. His eyes are sad but she knows that he truly means what he is going to say. "What she wants is what _you_ want too. If she's leading you elsewhere then you should follow."

"Yea, but – but what about our tribe? The pack? You all?" Leah questions desperately seeking out another answer, another solution. Any answer except the one they are giving her now. Leah's always wanted to go out and see the world but never alone. As much as she complained about sharing a mind with a bunch of prepubescent boys there was still a sense of security in knowing that there was always someone there. With them phasing less and less though that feeling was slowly disappearing. She had replaced it with the Elders. She was afraid of being alone – hell, it terrified her.

"The tribe has survived over a thousand years without you, Leah." Billy says chuckling at her desperation to hold on. He can't help but feel warm knowing that not all of the children in his life have forgotten about him or are too busy. "Currently, from what we've seen _you are_ the pack. And I think we can still take care of ourselves."

"This will be good for you, Leah." Sue says encouragingly taking her daughter's hands into her own. "If anyone deserves this, it's you." Leah feels the back of her eyes begin to burn – oddly it's a strange and old familiar sensation; tears, crying.

"You've done your duty to the pack, the tribe and your family." Old Quil says smiling proudly at her.

"You never asked to be a 'protector' but you've fulfilled your purpose to us. Now it's time to fulfill your own." Sue says as Leah sits blinking furiously and biting her bottom lip fighting the hot tears that are threatening.

"But what," She knows it's another weak attempt to try and find some reason for the Elders to make her stay – to make her fight the animal within. She's not sure if she'll be human, herself, when she gets to her destination. She's not even sure if there's going to be civilization. Are they seriously thinking that _this_ will be a good thing? "What about Jake and Seth?" Guilt washes over using her Alpha and brother as her scapegoats – her reason for staying.

"Jake needs to learn to stand on his own two feet or four paws. Depending upon his mood, of course." Billy says with a victorious smile over Leah.

"And Seth isn't a kid anymore. He has an imprint and is done with school." Sue throws out.

"And we'll _find_ some way to live on even if you're gone." Old Quil says and that's it. Leah has no other 'outs'. The Elders know it, she knows it and the wolf inside her knows it and secretly they're all silently rejoicing in the realization. The talk continues on through the night of Leah's departure, when, what she'll take with her, tying up any loose odds and ends on the Rez and so forth. Her return is never addressed; mainly because they all know Leah may not return to La Push or at least within _all_ of their lifetimes. They've seen her restlessness and have known of it for many years now. They've seen the longing look in her eyes as she sometimes seems to start daydreaming looking out towards the forest.

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A/N: Alright, so yea, I've posted a new story but this idea hit me while suffering from a sleepless night in Tokyo. And just to clue you in that's where I've been. Had a blast I might add and will definitely be heading back soon. But I generally have good story ideas during illness and insomnia nights so let's see where this goes.


	2. Reluctant Good Byes

Reluctant Good Byes

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

Leah sits quietly debating how to go about saying good bye to the wolves and their imprints. Honestly, she doesn't want to say good bye to the imprints because none of them seem to like her in the first place. It's an odd relationship that she has with them if that is even the word to use. Emily seems to tolerate her presence at most times; the two women have long since given up trying to patch together their relationship. No matter how Leah looks at it Emily betrayed her whether by choice or not. As far as Emily is concerned Leah wasn't meant for Sam and yet some how her presence always seems to find a way to get in between her and Sam.

Leah lets out a heavy sigh as she sits up in a tree just on the borders of the La Push territory looking north. The rain is coming down and the sound calms the wolf and also masks any scents around. Leah loves the rain but the wolf loathes it; the rain is calming but mysterious all at the same time. The urge to run away now is so tempting for Leah that over the last couple of weeks since talking to the Elders she's slowly inched closer and closer to the edge of the territory. Leah doesn't trust herself in her wolf form for very long fearing that the spirit will take over and she'll leave without ever saying good bye. The rain slowly begins to let up and she hops down landing gracefully. Everyday seems to get harder and harder to stay put; the woman slowly starting to lose the battle to the beast within.

"Is everything alright?" Leah freezes and bites back a growl. Not only because Jake would frown upon her hostility towards his future father-in-law but also because she doesn't trust herself to _not_ suddenly give into the wolf. "Leah?" Edward calls again cautiously eyeing her.

"I'm fine." Leah lies shifting uncomfortably. The Cullens have remained for another five years since the birth of Renesmee; mainly for Jacob and Charlie's sake. Leah chose to keep her distance because why should she become attached to a coven of vampires? They'd be leaving soon and taking Jacob with them – the thought of her Alpha leaving because of Renesmee still turning her stomach at times.

"Leah," Edward begins but stops and eyes her. Leah looks at him knowing that he's trying to read her mind but without his mood ring of a brother that is a very tough task. Leah's learned to allow her wolf thoughts to push to the forefront. The vampire cannot read the mind of an animal but she doesn't risk it today. "You're leaving? And don't know why? Or even if you'll come back?" Leah snorts as Edward's eyes seem to soften and look almost sad or regretful.

"What's it to ya? It's not as if we're going to miss out on all of our _bonding_ time." Leah says sarcastically turning her back on the vampire but suddenly freezes. "Don't you dare tell him." Leah snarls viciously and the sudden urge to phase, rip, tear and then hightail it outta the states is building.

"_He_ has a right to know. He's not going to like it." Edward answers matter-of-factly dropping into a defensive stance.

"_He_ doesn't _have_ to like it." Leah snarls as the familiar heat runs up and down her spine. She can feel the spirit deep inside of her yelping for joy at the anger, the sudden adrenaline rush. This is her chance to break free of the human bonds that's holding her here in this small town. This is a world where wrong is right, down is up, love is decided by magic, natural enemies make great bedfellows and a lone wolf feels lost without a pack. Leah shakes her head roughly as if trying to shake loose any thoughts of running out of her head. "I've got to go." Leah says quietly. Edward isn't sure whether she's telling him or just speaking out loud to herself. His confusion only grows as Leah suddenly takes off running leaving him behind and confused by her sudden conflicting thoughts.

Leah runs home and sits down at the kitchen table trying to control the twitching within her limbs. Her spirit wants to break free, be free, to leave and do it now. She quietly curses to herself and in her native tongue tells the spirit to calm down – to wait. Quileute seems to work as the twitching stops and Leah feels her body begin to cool down. Leah thinks over the conversation with Edward Cullen knowing that he is right about telling Jacob. As Alpha he has a right to know if his beta is…what? What exactly is she doing? Is she bailing? Leaving the pack? It's this lack of understanding that makes saying 'good bye' so hard. She doesn't know _what_ it is she's going to do.

She wants to say good bye to the guys and their imprints – at least so they know to check up on the Elders more often. However, the guys weren't the kind to let go easily. Over a year ago her great aunt fell ill and she and Sue were heading to Colorado to tend to her for a few days. She had told Jake that she was leaving which was convenient since he was on patrol. He told her to enjoy her trip, hoped that her aunt was better and she had _one_ week to get back. She had laughed at his time requirement but after two weeks when Seth and Embry showed up on her aunt's doorstep out of breath and a fuming Sam and Jacob waiting to hear from her she knew – Jacob Black wasn't playing.

Over time Jacob had started taking his role as Alpha very seriously and Leah, as his Beta, received the most attention. As his Beta she was required to be on when he was off. She did a lot of little things for him simply because it was her job. But over the last year or two with Renesmee getting closer and closer to full maturity he was contacting her less and less. In fact, she'd not seen him in a month; although a seemingly long time it's just a brief period compared to her run in with her own brother, Quil and even Paul. Basically, a prolonged absence or an indefinite absence wasn't going to blow over well the other two members of the Council – no matter how little contact they'd recently had.

She waits for her brother's return after spending God-only-knows how much time over his imprint's house. "Seth, we need to talk." Leah says sitting down at the kitchen table and motioning for him to sit next to her. He frowns deeply unsure of whether he wants to hear the news or is just too tired to be bothered. However, his mother's absence does help keep his frustration in check. "Seth, how would you feel if I went away?" Leah questions and then mentally berates herself for going about it this way. She had gone over this conversation in her head so many times and the moment Seth was in front of her all her plans go flying out the window.

"Like to Aunt Emma's house again?" Seth questions back with a tired look on his face.

"Maybe?" Leah says because honestly she might just wind up there. It's not _impossible._

"I dunno." Seth says shrugging his shoulders. "Guess everyone needs a change of space, huh?" Seth says smiling at his sister. "And besides it's not as if you'd go somewhere and then never come back." Seth begins to laugh at his own thought. Ever since their dad died Seth has always known that Leah wanted to get away but that was just really from Sam. After joining Jake's pack the 'running away' talk completely died. She was happy with the smaller pack and the proof was 'in the pudding' as their dad always said. But his laughing stopped when he becomes aware that Leah hasn't joined in his laughter. "Lee," Seth says sternly the weariness quickly vanishing.

"Huh? I'm sorry. I got distracted." Leah says shaking her head and seeming to come back to her thoughts. "Did you say something?" Seth looks at his sister carefully, suspiciously not knowing whether his sister had really just stopped paying attention or if she was just trying to throw him off.

"Are you trying to leave the Rez – for good?" Seth clarifies as his eyes narrow and locks with Leah's.

"No." Leah answers back calmly the eye contact never breaking or her voice wavering. She's answering truthfully or at least as far as she knows. Seth lets out a low deep growl that rumbles from within his chest. He's picking up a bad feeling from this whole situation and he's unsure if it's involving his sister leaving or just the simple weariness in his body. Over the years things have changed and Leah Clearwater being one of them. She was no longer the pack's resident annoying bitch; she had come to mean something more. She was Jake's Beta, sure, but over time the packs' (both) feelings were that she was more important then they'd let on or even admit out loud. Keeping her content was their primary goal but then things would get in the way that would change that objective.

"When was the last time we…we saw each other?" Seth asks suddenly feeling a wave of guilt wash over him. He doesn't remember when was the last time he saw his sister – let alone actually sat down and talked to her. Thinking back on his father's words he knows it's become _his_ job to look out for his mother and sister but Leah has carried most of that burden. He chalked it up because he was much too young for that kind of responsibility and promised to live up to his father's expectations after he was older. He's not.

"Uh…a couple of days ago?" Leah lies with a shrug. Her stomach churns with the sick realization that she's lied to her brother twice now in the last ten minutes. Leah knows that Seth will definitely be the #3 guy to _not_ want her to go. She knows how much she means to him…sometimes, at moments like these when it's just the two of them and no imprint is around. She's not seen him in a month; two weeks on patrol in wolf form, one week prior to her run feeling restless and this last week thinking over what to say to the wolves. She wants to spare his feelings and the others but doesn't want to just up and leave. The wolf inside of her keeps saying, 'damn them. Let's go!' but the human woman knows better.

"Leah," Seth begins but is cut off as she raises a hand to silence him.

"Don't worry about it Seth." Leah says with a small smile. "I'm just thinking I need to get away for a while. Run around in my wolf form for a bit. Find some new scents, sights – change of pace." Leah says opting for the truth or at least the safest truth.

"Seriously?" Seth questions skeptically. He can't help the nervous and sick feeling that there's something lying just under the surface. As if the answer is plainly in front of his face but he's just too…occupied, blind? Too blind to see it. He growls again in frustration because something about this just doesn't sit right. Leah nods her head in agreement. "Will you let us know when you're leaving?"

"Of course!" Leah says smiling happily just glad that this seems to being blowing over well with her brother. "I'd not leave without saying good bye." Seth flinches, unnoticed by his sister, at her choice of words. 'Good bye' holding a sense of finality to them that unsettles the spirit within him. Seth can't really explain it and has long since given up on trying; but there's some significance to Leah's presence within the pack. Initially, he always assumed it was because she was his sister that she was important. However, he was young and brushed it off because he didn't want to be burdened or looked over by her continual presence in the, what should've been an, 'all boys club'. But he feels his ears pounding as he narrows his eyes at Leah trying to make sense of what is going on. Is it anxiety? Why is he suddenly anxious? He doesn't have to see his sister all day, everyday. However, two names stand out in his mind – Jacob Black and Sam Uley. When Leah is involved those two practically sweat anxiety.

"Have you talked to Jake or Sam yet?" Seth watches Leah carefully as she frowns slightly shaking her head. "You will, won't you?" Leah nods her head solemnly. Sure Seth would be a hard sale but he, in the grand scheme of things, was the least complicated of the men in her life. Sam would be easy to convince because _she_ didn't belong to his pack and since Seth was _her_ brother he really had no say – although it never stopped either of them before. However, Jacob Black was without a doubt the hardest one to factor in. With his role of Alpha, his temperament was still a bit touch-and-go. Some days he was carefree, understanding and playful with her while others he was standoffish, disgruntled and distant. Carefree Jake would smile at her and tell her to go but not to stray too far and be back within her allotted time. The true Alpha, Jacob Black, wouldn't even bother listening to her request and tell her to keep her ass at home where she belonged and not to bother him with stupid ideas of 'getting away'. It was Alpha Jacob that practically tore her a new one when she didn't return home after her week's time. He was so angry, frustrated and worked up that he had snatched her roughly by the wrist and slammed her back into a tree. Leah had learned what it was like to fear Jacob Black because his eyes were so dark, primal and vicious that it sent a shiver down her spine.

Sam tried to intervene but one cold hard look from Jacob Black sent him whimpering back a few feet away. Jacob Black became Leah's constant companion for three whole months afterwards. His explanation for this behavior was that he 'couldn't trust her'. Those words hurt her more then she'd ever want to admit but she refused to be hurt and instead got angry. It wasn't her fault that her aunt wasn't _healing_ at the rate that didn't meet her Almighty Alpha's satisfaction. She was doing a good deed by helping out her aunt and it wasn't _her_ fault that he couldn't find Quil to run patrol so that his precious demon spawn could sleep well at night. Her attack on Renesmee only incensed Jacob Black encouraging the fight to not only intensify but to prolong. Per him, _she_ was the one that lied to _him_. That _if_ she needed more time then _she_ should've called and informed him; because if something had happened then he'd be short _his_ Beta. That _her_ absence had nothing to do with watching over Nessie but rather it was _her_ shirking on her responsibilities. The two continued fighting and arguing with a fervor that had not been seen between them in years – it in fact frightened the other wolves. Jacob refused to leave Leah no matter how much she bitched and snapped, literally, at him.

Eventually the two calmed down and carefree Jake was back with a warm apology. He was only worried about Leah and didn't like her being gone from home where he couldn't check up on her easily. He never meant to harm her and asked that next time if she was going to be gone longer than expected to just call and let him know. After they had calmed down it was agreed that Leah would call with any updates and he'd try to listen more. After that things between them were better as Jake hung around the Rez more still checking up on Leah and even running patrol with her. But that was months ago and at this point Jake's visits to the Rez were sporadic at best. He had recently suddenly become so engrossed with Renesmee that it seemed as if whatever or however the imprint pull worked had finally grounded the great and rebellious Jacob Black.

Sucking it up Leah begins her gradual good byes; or rather just informing _all_ the wolves that she'll be leaving soon. Leah receives similar questions and reactions to the news as Seth involving a mixture of anger, confusion and frustration. Leah finds herself confused on why when she mentions going away for a while that all the guys suddenly insist on spending time with her – as if 'hanging out' will some how quell her desire to travel north. But she agrees to each of their requests never believing that any of them will come through with their promises. She knows that they'll forget the moment she's out of their sight. Sam seems to be the only one to write it down up on a dry erase board in the kitchen as his reminder. Leah teases him for this asking him how absentminded does he have to be to _not_ remember to hang out with his wife's cousin? Sam watches with a silent frown as Leah erases the board and walks out telling him to just find her and they'll do something like he promised. As she leaves Sam looks at the board and is tempted to rewrite the note but stops himself remembering Leah's words. He laughs to himself because he, of all people, knows that he'll never forget about Leah Clearwater – and still he does.

Leah finally heads out to the Cullens saving the worst for last. She's taken the last month and a half to say her good byes and get her things in order. At Billy's suggestion she'll also talk to Carlisle; it seems he has money already set aside for the wolves and their families as thanks for protecting Renesmee. Leah knows that she can actually be open and honest with Carlisle about her plans – doctor/patient confidentiality and all that jazz. She feels lucky when she arrives and learns that Jake is out hunting with Renesmee. Carlisle and Esme greets her warmly while the blonde eyes her suspiciously. Leah's not had very much interaction with her only encountering her when Leah feels the need to goof off with Emmett. For some reason the giant leech interests her; he's like the big brother she never had but always imagined. Leah is surprised to see Blondie's reaction to hearing of her expected absence. "Why are you leaving?" She asks after Leah explains her purpose and what she's been feeling. "_He's_ not going to like this." Leah frowns already knowing whom she's referring to.

"It's something that I have to do." Leah answers matter-of-factly. Not appreciating a leech butting into her business and the fact that she's only proving Leah's fears.

"He was _livid_ and practically rabid the last time you left." Rosalie answers snidely. "He was short and aggressive with Renesmee the longer you were gone. Bella had to finally convince him to send two of the other mutts to go retrieve you." Leah growls menacingly not appreciating the 'mutt' references in regards to Seth and Embry. They were her last two friends before imprinting came along and redefined their relationship.

"Well _that_ was years ago when everyone was _actually_ patrolling." Leah snaps her eyes narrowing at the cold blonde. "This time _he_ won't even notice my absence. I've not seen him in a month and it's only because he's busy with his imprint. They all are." Leah adds showing a bit more sadness then she would've liked. "Besides I'm going to talk to him about it and I'm going to ask that you all _not_ say anything about it after I'm gone." Leah says looking around at the other two vampires.

"Leah, you don't seriously think that they'll forget about you, do you?" Esme asks skeptically and looking into her eyes Leah can see the sadness and concern. Leah only nods her head because the last year's experience has taught her just that. "Jacob, he'll," Esme begins but stops as Leah shakes her head with small smile.

"I've not seen him in a month. Renesmee is getting older and besides you all can't stay here much longer. Even the small pixie and her mood ring hubbie have moved on." Leah states matter-of-factly. "They're all living their lives and, I guess, it's time for me to start trying to live mine." The three Cullens slowly and reluctantly nod their heads in agreement. Over the years in their interactions with the wolves they can't help but notice the small fact that Leah is needed. Sure, she runs all of the patrols now and even before she handled most of the scheduling for Jacob but there was something more.

"Where are you going?" Rosalie demands with a hard frown.

"North." Leah answers simply and silently thanks her luck. She is glad that Edward Cullen isn't around because for some reason he has a hard time keeping his and other's thoughts to himself. He'd most likely read her mind and would do something to make her stay; if even for the sake of his daughter. That is what Leah sees when she looks at the blonde vampire. Not a woman concerned about her own safety or the mental stability of Jacob Black; but someone concerned for her niece.

"North, where?"

"British Columbia." _I suppose_. Leah answers locking her eyes with her interrogator while giving her a hard frown. The only reasons behind the questioning is so that when the boys suddenly wake up and notice that she's been gone for longer than a few weeks they'll have a general direction to go search for her. Leah fight backs a smile because that won't be the case this time. Seth and Embry were sent because they were un-imprinted and didn't have a restriction placed upon them. Now, there will be no one able or willing to follow after her – and _that_ is something that she can put in the bank.

"Why British Columbia? Who do you know up there? Why are you going in the first place?" Rosalie drills as Esme gently touches her arm. "NO!" Rosalie snaps angrily snatching her arm away from Esme's grasp. "These are things _we_ have a right to know. She's connected to the mutt and the mutt to Renesmee." Leah raises an eyebrow confused on the 'connected' part. Sure, she's apart of Jake's pack and they had gotten close over time but she made it sound like he'd notice for some other reason then 'pack' issues. She remembers his soft and gentle words from the last time she'd left but in the end that's all it was – words. Empty words from a wolf who has no choice in how to live his life in the end.

"Home." Renesmee calls interrupting Leah and Rosalie before the two can begin arguing and fighting with one another. "Oh…uh, hello, Leah." Renesmee greets as she steps into the family room followed by Jacob, Edward and Bella.

"Hello, everyone." Leah greets with a weak smile. She gives a cold look to Rosalie threatening her bodily harm if she oversteps her bounds and says anything to her Alpha.

"What's going on?" Edward asks stepping forward looking at Leah carefully.

"Leah was here asking for some advice about colleges." Carlisle says sharing a quick glance with Leah. "In fact, the money we have set aside for her can be used to pay for her tuition." Leah can only smile brightly happy that Carlisle has stepped forward to speak up on her behalf. Despite the many years of the interaction with the vampires she doesn't feel very comfortable with so many around her.

"College?" Jacob breaks in frowning at Leah. "Where at? Studying what?"

"Yes, maybe." Leah says not liking the idea of lying. Carlisle lying to him is one thing but she can't bring herself to do it. Although college after she gets…wherever it is she's going doesn't sound like a bad idea, necessarily. "Not quite sure. Undecided." Undecided seems to be the best word to describe this whole clusterfuck of an existence she's had.

"Oh…so where's my usual greeting?" Jacob asks snapping out of his quiet concern and smiling brightly at Leah. Leah looks up at him skeptically as he stands with his arms wide open and is expectantly waiting on her. Years ago as part of a joke Leah would run up to Jake yelling, "Almighty Alpha" before jumping into his arms and giving him a hug. She did it to mock Renesmee and she found his surprised expression the first couple of times to be absolutely hilarious. Eventually, Jake caught on and when he was in carefree mood would always be waiting on it but she'd not seen him in over a month. That and Renesmee had asked her _not_ to greet him like that ever again.

"Uh…not today, Almighty Alpha." Leah says shaking her head earning a frown from Jacob. "But there is something I want to talk to you about – in private." Leah finishes up as Renesmee gives her a hard look.

"Ok." Jacob agrees nodding his head and turning to head outside followed by his beta.

"My Jacob, don't be long." Renesmee calls out causing Jacob to stop in mid-step. "There is something that I want to show you." She says in a sing-song voice that causes Leah to mentally wince. Leah can feel the imprint pull already taking Jacob's attention away from her before she's even had a chance to tell him good bye. He smiles dumbly at her nodding his head in agreement before turning to look at Leah. Leah quickly turns and walks out feeling the wolf inside of her scratching, snarling, biting to get out. _She_ doesn't like the imprinted Alpha and, in fact, _hates_ imprinting. Leah is mildly convinced that she suffers from multiple personality disorders and that the wolf is the angry, irrational and hateful bitch deep within her – but like Quil said, 'she's apart of you'.

"What is it Lee?" Jacob questions seriously. Leah refuses to look up at him knowing that the carefree Jake is gone already and has been replaced with the serious Alpha Jacob. Leah is silent for a few moments thinking over how best to go about the conversation. "Spit it out already." Jacob snarls as his patience is starting to wear thin. His imprint is calling him and he has to return to her – at least so he's convinced himself of it.

"I won't keep you." Leah blurts out and smiles up at Jacob. "I just wanted to say 'thank you'." Leah says as the back of her eyes begin to sting and burn. She mentally berates herself for being weak and tries to fight back the tears. They only become harder to fight back as Jacob's expression softens and he looks confused – a look she's always found adorable on him.

"Thank you? For what?"

"For always being there for me." Leah answers as the urge to run now has her heart racing. She silently prays that Jacob doesn't take notice of it – he doesn't.

"Oh…well…you're welcome." He says still slightly confused by this sudden outpouring of gratitude.

"Jacob!" Renesmee calls out and Jacob without a thought turns around heading off in the direction of the voice. Leah seeing, possibly, her last chance runs up and hugs Jacob tightly from behind.

"Lee," Jacob breathes out trying to look over his shoulder at the small woman behind him.

"Take care." Leah whispers so softly that he doesn't even hear it. Jacob cannot help the deep, sinking, suffocating feeling that something is wrong. Leah rarely turns down her usual greeting for her Alpha except when they've argued and now suddenly this hug? Jacob finds himself racking his brain trying to figure out when was the last time he saw Leah and did they have another argument. The sickening realization that it's been weeks since he's last seen her has his breathing becoming irregular, his chest tight and the spirit within him beginning to feel angry.

"Lee," Jacob begins again but stops as he feels Leah shaking her head into the middle of his back.

"You better get going." Leah says releasing him and slowly backing away from him. He eyes her carefully and a feeling of dread washes over him again. Something is wrong; at least his spirit is telling him so. Leah stands before him her head hanging down and her eyes hidden from his view. He hates not being able to see her eyes because it is the key to reading her true emotions, thoughts and intentions. He takes a step forward towards her but stops short as he hears his imprint impatiently calling his name.

"Look, I'll catch up with ya later. Okay?" Jacob says slowly stepping backwards away from Leah. She nods her head and smiles at him. The action causes his heart to leap up into his throat. His imprint wants him but he feels that his beta _needs_ him. "Bye, Lee." Jacob calls turning to head back into this house reluctantly.

"Bye, Jake." Leah calls back as she too turns walking away from him.

Leah leaves La Push that day and her heart sings as her body transforms and copper skin becomes light gray fur. The she-wolf has won out over the human woman inside. She tears off through the forest tongue lulling out her mouth leaving everything that she's known for the last six years behind. The excitement of something new just over the horizon pushing her to speeds never experienced on such a non-critical moment. The only one aware of Leah's departure is Edward Cullen who's only thought picked up is 'freedom'.

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A/N: Well here goes the second chapter. This was actually originally part of the first chapter but I suddenly realized how long it was and decided to break it up. But you all know what to do...or rather, I'd WISH you'd all do. Is read and then review!!

KKJ


	3. Realizations

Realizations

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters. I'm tired...anyone else tired? No. Huh.**

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The wolf within Leah rejoices in her own way as she runs across a meadow enjoying and reveling in the cool breeze blowing through her fur. Since leaving the rainy peninsula she's had nothing but a perpetual wolfish grin on her face. Her tongue is lulled out tasting every new scent in the air and committing it to memory. The two slowly work as one the human using logic in the best way to avoid humans and cars while the wolf handles the basic survival. Leah plays around feeling like a little kid or a cub chasing squirrels that are much too small to make a decent meal, dragging large branches around in her mouth and tossing them up and even just rolling around in the tall grasses and wildflowers. Gone are her fears of leaving La Push as they are replaced with excitement for new experiences.

It isn't long before Leah comes across a strangely new and yet familiar scent. It's a scent that makes her feel both thrilled and cautioned – it's wolves. She lies down in the tall grass feeling the heavy beating of paws underneath her. Her initial reaction is to run but the wolf inside of her tells her to remain still. She waits patiently as a huge dark gray wolf appears through the trees and cautiously sniffs the air. Leah finds herself only mildly surprised to find another shape shifter in the world and stands up to make her presence known to the newcomer. His head whips around to look at as if completely taken by surprise and seems unsure what to make of her. _'Bonjour.'_ He greets and Leah returns his greeting back.

'_I'm Leah.'_ She introduces herself lowering her head.

'_Oh…you speak English.'_ He notes seeming to relax a little. _'Uh…I'm John. It's…uh, nice to meet you?'_ John greets nervously and Leah can't help the laughter that escapes her; a new pack maybe just the new start that she's needed.

* * *

It has been over two months since Leah's sudden disappearance. Her absence is only felt, sadly, by the three Elders who told her to leave not so long ago. They all knew that it was only a matter of time before the first and only she-wolf would take off blazing a path that would some how satisfy her. However, they did not believe that she would be right about her presence not being missed by the rest of the wolves. Surely they would notice if a member of their pack was gone?

With their imprints around they have no worries, fears or concerns. The girls are their entire universe and with them by their sides nothing else matters – or rather, should matter as long as they are safe. It is when their safety is threatened do the wolves snap out of their bubbles. The pin comes in the form of a series of slain hikers a couple of miles north of the La Push territory. Sue reads the news in a couple of papers and even hears some grim details from other nurses who have friends or associates in the hospitals in and around the area. It's a vampire or possibly more. The Elders decide to call both packs together and inform them of the possible threat.

Jacob receives a call from his father requesting him to come home for a tribal meeting. He immediately agrees but cannot help the sense of uneasiness – his father _called_ him. Usually, he would've sent Leah to retrieve him or relay a message. He fights back a growl at the mention of his beta's name. Over the years he has developed a very close bond with his beta, Leah Clearwater, which has made him very protective of her. Jacob is aware that his feelings have trickled over into his own pack and possibly into Sam's pack because of the shared link. Leah has become a very vital part of the pack in not only her speed, but her diligence, her loyalty and quick thinking. However, he growls because her presence frustrates him to no end. She brings about thoughts and feelings within him that he _knows_ he has no business feeling. Initially, it reminded him of a small crush that was more of a small and simple 'appreciation' for her. But it soon started to grow into something more. He began craving her presence around him and wanted to touch her or just be near her as much as possible.

He felt his heart leap for joy the first time she ran into his arms calling 'Almighty Alpha' and hugging him tightly. Of course, he quickly realized that she was only making fun of his imprint in her own way but he loved it. It gave him a chance to hold her, feel her body close to his and inhale her sweet scent. He enjoyed being playful around her, making jokes and listening to her laughter. Things changed when she went away to take care of her aunt. He found himself growing impatient with her prolonged absence and no one was spared his short temper; not even his precious Nessie. He tried _not_ to think of her but she hadn't contacted him or phased and it made him nervous and anxious. Then to have Sam muscling in on his emotions wasn't helping either. As far as Jacob was concerned Sam had no right to be questioning _him_ about the presence of _his_ Leah. Eventually even Bella grew impatient with his attitude and told him to go get her himself if he 'was so worried about her'. He sent Embry and Seth to go retrieve and bring her back home _no matter what_ were his exact orders.

He recalls the sense of relief that washed over him when he finally saw her. The look of confusion and the small pout on her face was so cute that he had almost forgotten the anger that had been building up. The only reminder was the fact that Sam was admiring the same expression and enjoying the same relief that he was. His anger and frustration was then released upon his unsuspecting beta. Over the next six or seven months he was Leah's constant companion and refused to let her out of his sight; it was hard to explain but things seemed off balance when she wasn't around. They eventually came to terms – or some minor agreement that involved a very poorly explained excuse about 'pack' issues and the like. Things were back to normal – or at least they were until Nessie confronted him about his sudden disappearance from the Cullens home.

Nessie had expressed to him the best way she knew how, through her mind, how he had been acting and how it made her feel. He had felt a sense of guilt wash over him seeing how he had snapped at her and then suddenly brushed her off to keep an 'eye out on Leah'. He became angry with himself because Nessie was supposed to be his top priority and _not_ Leah; as much as thinking such a thought hurt him. It was then when Leah's presence seemed to frustrate him when his thoughts would stray from anything that wasn't 'imprint normal'. Her hugs would awaken those strange emotions within him and to keep them in check he'd become cold, hard and distant with her. It took a while but he eventually completely immersed himself into his imprint welcoming the feelings and sense of 'happiness' that she brought.

However, those emotions had weakened ever since the last time he had seen Leah. He hadn't been able to explain it but it felt as if something was amiss with the world around him. It was almost as if someone had come into his home and either removed or simply _moved_ a prize trinket or knick-knack but he couldn't see what it was. The wolf in him tried to get him to go home and figure out what was the problem but he fought the instinct and instead focused on his imprint. Surely, whatever was wrong _had_ to involve Nessie, right? But everything seemed to be perfectly fine with her, Bella, Edward, Rosalie and the rest of the Cullens. He'd even called Alice and Jasper in Europe to make sure that they were alright. He had dismissed the feeling as over time it seemed to grow weaker with each passing day; however, his father's call had now caused the feeling to resurface.

He shows up at his father's house with Renesmee in tow. She refuses to let him go back to La Push without her and despite his questioning and coaxing is unable to find out why she's so opposed to him going alone. His smile brightens as he walks in and is greeted with waves and salutations from the wolves and their imprints. He sits down and can't even remember when the last time that they were all together like this was. With so little room available Renesmee takes her seat in Jacob's lap and the action seems to only earn a frown from the Elders. He brushes it off and looks around marveling at how much the packs have grown; kids have even been born to Sam, Paul and Jared.

"There have been a series of strange murders to our northern borders." Sue begins getting right down to business and silencing the talkative bunch. "We believe that they are the work of a vampire or maybe more than one."

"How do you know?" Sam asks interrupting Sue as concern washes over his face.

"How close to our borders?" Embry asks holding his imprint tightly to his side.

"A few miles." Billy answers.

"It's been going on for about a few weeks now." Old Quil adds and a sense of unease begins to builds. Jacob looks around the room quickly trying to process how the Elders know and most importantly who told them and _not_ him or Sam. Looking around the room he notices the absence of his beta – she's no where around.

"Some of the victims have been La Push residents." Sue whispers sadly and this news seems to act as a punch in the gut for all the wolves present.

"Leah? Where's Leah?" Jacob demands jumping up. Renesmee quickly falls to the floor and looks up at him with sad and hurt eyes. "She would've sounded the alarm if there were leeches." Jacob states his head whipping around as the other wolves also become aware of her absence.

"Leah?" Sue breathes out confused. This confusion only increases the wolves fear.

"Yes, Leah!" Jacob shouts his emotions starting to get the better of him. Was this the unease and bad feeling that was taking over him? _Leah_. Was she hurt? Was she bitten? Why hadn't she told _him_ about the vampires? Where was she now? She should've been at the meeting. Maybe she was out patrolling and figured it best to let the Elders handle updating the two packs; that way someone was still patrolling. That was it, right?

"Leah's gone, Jake." Billy says sadly. The words only seem to confuse Jacob even more as he tries to piece together everything that he's been feeling since the last time he saw his beta, _his_ Lee.

"Gone? Gone where?" Seth questions as panic starts to build up in his voice.

"Leah left La Push months ago." Sue answers looking around at the wolves and their imprints with a cold, hard stare. Leah had called her two weeks after leaving La Push to inform them that she was okay and was running through Canada. She had checked up on them at least once a week and talked to her, Billy and Old Quil for hours each. It pained her to realize that not even her own brother had noticed her absence since he was so wrapped up into his imprint that nothing else mattered. Sue knew of the empty promises each of the men had made to spend time with Leah and in the end none of them remembered to even call and check up on her. She can only sigh heavily as the realization of what they had all said to Leah and that they failed suddenly dawns on them.

"Where did she go?" Embry demands angrily his fists clenched tightly.

"That's _not_ important." Sue snaps startling all present. "Leah is fine wherever she is. The issue at hand is the vampires to our northern borders. Now you will all step up and fulfill your duties. She was _never_ any of yours concern before." Sue states coldly causing every wolf to hang his head in shame. "So don't act like _now_ all of a sudden she's so important to any of you." Seth bites his bottom lip as his mother's cold stare falls on him in the end.

Jacob lets out a deep guttural growl as he turns and storms out of the house. He can't believe it and refuses to believe it that Leah has been gone for months – possibly three months? She would've told him if she was leaving – she just wouldn't up and leave without a word. Didn't she say good bye to anyone? The door to the Clearwater home bangs open and swings unsteadily on its hinges as he stands in the doorframe sniffing the air. He is desperately seeking out her scent – something, anything to convince himself that Sue is lying; that she's mistaken. A lump catches in his throat as he becomes aware that Leah's scent is faint; it's stronger than Seth's but still there. He bounds up the stairs towards her room as Renesmee steps into the house after him. He is sniffing furiously as he steps inside of her room and finds Leah's scent to be old, stale and faint. "She's gone?" He whispers as his shoulders slump.

That feeling of guilt washes over him as he recalls his last encounter with Leah. She had something she had wanted to tell him but he didn't listen to her because Renesmee had called him. Renesmee had wanted to play a new score for him that she and Edward had composed. At the time it was a beautiful piece that he loved listening to – it was further proof of how special and wonderful she was. But now looking back on it; was it really _so_ important that it couldn't have waited a few minutes? The wolf inside him is snarling and fighting to get out – to explode and find her, bring Leah back home where she belongs.

"Jacob?" At the calling of his name he turns around almost expecting to see Leah standing behind him. She'd be confused about why he was in her room and not at the meeting. She'd have that cute little pout on her face as her head would be cocked to one side in a canine fashion. Instead he turns around and sees Renesmee.

"She's gone." Jacob repeats to her not sure exactly what to say or do at the moment. The wolf wants to blame the girl before him for Leah's disappearance, Sam for breaking her in the first place, Seth for being a horrible brother, Emily for a being an even worst cousin, Sue for being so irresponsible as to let Leah leave and most of all himself for never realizing.

"I know." Renesmee says softly looking around the room taking in all the details. Her inability to make eye contact with him has the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. _She knew_? How much did she know? Had she always known? Before he can ask his question Seth appears behind her also seeking for some sort of proof that his mother is incorrect. Jacob's question is soon quickly forgotten as Seth slowly falls to his knees and his shoulders begin to shake violently. Vanessa, his imprint, stands behind him unsure of exactly what to do for him as he silently cries for his sister.

The tears and guilt is short lived as Sue and the rest arrive at the Clearwater home. Jacob finds himself feeling a bit lost and out of place now that the two packs have to be pulled together to investigate the possible threat. He's not had to deal with this situation alone – Leah was always there beside him. Sure Seth was always willing to do whatever needed to be done but in the end it was really Leah who knew what was best. Coverage was never an issue with her; she just seemed to know where she was needed the most. Quil and Embry also seem at a loss of what to do and look to Jacob for direction.

Shaking his head he pulls his pack to the side and gives them a pep talk or something along the lines of a stern talking to. They've done this before without Leah and can do it now – even if it feels wrong. Looking at each of their eyes he knows that they feel just as guilty as he does. There will be time for pity and self-loathing later but right now they have a vampire to chase. The packs quickly phase and Jacob instructs Renesmee to stay in La Push with the rest of the imprints. She insists upon going to help but a threat to inform her parents and Rosalie of her actions convinces her to stay put.

The two packs move out and none can deny the adrenaline they feel being free and running back in their wolf forms. The adrenaline isn't enough to quell the numbing realization that they are short their best scout. No snide comments about how out of practice they are after being gone for so long. No one is exuding confidence that this will be a quick and easy job. Just silence.

They arrive at the northern border and suddenly all ears are alert and noses are twitching – there's a scent. Leah's scent still lingers around the northern border; the forest canopy protecting the scent from the rain. There are yelps and whines of excitement as thoughts of Leah being not too far away are shared from one mind to another. The younger wolves even call out Leah's name in desperation hoping to hear her voice calling back to them – but there is no response. The two alphas stand quietly and exchange silent glances both knowing all too well that Leah Clearwater wouldn't just linger around the border of their territory. As much as they hate to admit it when Leah sets her mind to something she follows through on it. In other words, if she planned on leaving La Push then she was definitely leaving La Push. _'Silence.'_ Sam growls out calling his pack to order and feels a sense of envy well up in him looking over at Jacob's pack. Despite the familiar scent Jacob's pack has remained calm not allowing themselves to become overly excited.

'_We should split up running a couple hundred yards along the border before crossing over and heading towards the trails Sue described.'_ Jacob says solemnly looking to his right. Sam begrudgingly nods his head thinking it is a smart idea. _'But we won't want to leave the border completely unprotected. My pack can run ahead and scout out the area while a few of the others remain close to here. Then only come if the extra help is required.'_ Sam looks surprised at Jacob's logic as his ears move forward and back trying to pick up any strange sounds and Embry stands on his hind legs raising himself up to catch a whiff of any sickeningly sweet scents in the wind. He's rarely seen this side of Jacob very familiar with the irresponsible Jake or the more serious Jake; even the latter was rare and had involved Leah.

Years ago they used to play war games and despite the quantity advantage Sam's pack had over Jacob's. Sam found it very hard to get the upper hand on Jacob Black and his pack. Some how the pack had strategize working out each of the pack's individual talents and then using them to play up his pack's weaknesses. Sam always silently accused Jacob of cheating by using the mind reading Cullen as his ace up his sleeve but later he began to recall that Leah was always great at playing COD or Halo. She easily mastered Socom when it came to ordering her soldiers with such efficiency and strategy that it pissed him off when she returned it three days later 'claiming' to have beaten it. Was this a strategy that Leah had come up with when dealing with the occasional rogue vampires that had crossed into the Cullens' territory?

'_Is there a problem, Sam?'_ Jacob growls out noticing Sam's inactivity. The black wolf merely shakes his head and with snort causes his pack to take the left flank. _'Let's go. Seth, you're with me. We're running ahead with Quil and Embry covering the rear.'_ Seth nods his head and takes off running with Jacob right behind him. The small pack moves out quickly covering ground trying to find any familiar and unfamiliar scents to give them an idea of what's being going on in the last few weeks. Seth can't hold back his whimper once Leah's scent disappears completely signaling that she'd not patrolled this area within the last few months. Seth looks back to see Jacob running along side him and feels a pang stab him in his heart. Usually on a simple scouting mission like this it'd be him and Leah running ahead of the pack. She'd make a game of the job trying to push him to run harder and tease him for being so slow – she'd blame it on Vanessa's cooking. _'Focus, Seth.'_ Jacob snaps trying his best to fight the image of Leah popping up in his head.

The small pack reaches the end of the northern border before it begins to slowly veer southeast heading towards Forks. All of their tongues are lulling out their mouths with the exception of Jacob's. They are all out of shape and out of practice from not phasing within the last year. Jacob can't help but marvel that they still remember how after so long. _'It's not something that you easily forget.'_ Embry states with a huff as he licks his jaws still panting.

'_And it's also doesn't hurt that Leah's gone without any of us realizing it.'_ Quil states with a deep growl the obvious. The news of Leah's disappearance having put the wolves in a very tense and aggressive mood has allowed their phasing to seem seamless.

'_Thank you, Captain Obvious.'_ Seth snarls sarcastically and the other three wolves look at him sharply for one brief moment. In that moment, they all share the loss of Leah's absence with one another. Each recalling how much she means to them and the shame they feel in never following through on their word. Embry promised to go to the movies with Leah like they used to prior to his imprinting. Seth was going to hit the beach with her and maybe do some fishing. Quil had promised Leah that he'd tag along with her on one of cooking classes so she didn't have to be alone in class. Jacob growls silently to himself realizing that he's the only one who Leah never mentioned leaving to. He never made any promises because he didn't know what was going on.

'_How could you _not_ know?'_ Embry pushes with a hard frown. Jacob sits back and is assaulted with Leah's conversation with each of the wolves present about her leaving. She was never specific about anything except that she was leaving. It hurts him that Leah could tell everyone else but him. A growl erupts from his throat as he turns facing north ready for a fight – desperate for anything that'd help him release his pent up anger, frustration, disappointment and self hatred.

'_Nessie distracted you too, huh?' _Quil comments with a simple head nod.

_'We've all been distracted.'_ Seth notes angrily. They all feel an searing heat pump through their bodies pushing them on. Each now slowly awakening to a sensation that they've never felt before - anger; anger towards their imprints. It's an unsettling feeling that sits like rancid food at the pit of their stomachs but isn't something any of them are willing to let go of - yet. In the meantime, they will hunt the killers in the mountains to the north and woe to the unsuspecting soul-less creature that will fall prey to their building rage.

* * *

A/N: Alright so here goes the next update. Thanks for all of the reviews and don't worry about Leah. Although there is going to be a lot more with Jacob and the La Push wolves. Gawd, I'm tired. Who knew a 14-hr difference could mess with a person so much. Anyone seen Clash of the Titans yet? I LOVE the original and I'm really looking forward to this. Fortunately, it's 6 dollar Tuesday! WOOHOO! XoX And I just used up the last of my reserved energy on that...sweet Jacob abs I've still got 6 1/2 hrs left in my shift.


	4. Acceptance

Acceptance

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters except for the new wolves. They are strictly of my own creation and imagination. ^-^ Because that's exactly what I need is more hot guys to occupy my mind when I should be doing more constructive or productive things, right?**

* * *

The sound of many paws resounds through the forest as the occasional heavy panting and growl cuts through the air. Only a being with heightened senses can hear the many hearts beating rapidly; can smell the mixture of fear, excitement and determination in the air. Leaves and branches sway quickly and suddenly as fast moving bodies move by. The air is thick with a mixture of a sweet scent and a heavy rainy day. Then suddenly the trees give way to an opening at the foot of a mountain. A man and woman quickly stop at an inhuman speed. Both of their eyes are a bright bloodshot red but both hold fear within the depths. The man looks to be in early 30s, white male with a buzz cut styled hair. He's dressed in a simple pair of worn jeans and a red flannel shirt – much like a hiker. The woman behind is Native American dressed very much the same with a light blue flannel shirt. Both their skin is an unusual pale complexion and as the clouds break away their skin begins to sparkle as if covered in layers upon layers of crushed crystals and diamonds. "Up the mountain, Glenn. We have to go up the mountain." The woman whispers quickly tugging on his arm. He looks down at her and notices her shirt is covered in blood – that's not her own. He nods his head as she turns and begins jumping up the mountainside moving towards the cliffs.

He looks back quickly as the rumbling draws closer. The beasts are huge; much too big to follow them up the cliff's side. As he follows after the woman he stops to look as the beasts catch up and suddenly stop. He's finally able to get a good look at the beasts that interrupted his and his mate's meal – _wolves?_ He sees four of them; a huge dark gray wolf with a black muzzle, the second is his exact copy only slightly smaller, light gray wolf with a white spot on its chest and a lean brown wolf. He growls at them as they look back up at him. _Werewolves?_ _But no moon._ With a deep snarl from the larger wolf the three wolves run towards the mountain. _They can't climb up here – they're too big_.

Turning around with a smirk he proceeds to climb up the mountain. Hearing gravel sliding he looks down to see the wolves easily moving up the mountain. His eyes widen in shock as the largest soon joins them and maneuvers just as easily. "Mar," He calls up to his mate but is cut short as he hears her scream. Looking up he sees her falling with a small silvery gray wolf viciously clawing at her. He watches in horror and amazement as both plummet towards the base. The silver wolf releases the woman and changes into a girl herself grabbing hold of the cliff wall as the other slams into the ground. His eyes widen looking at the now naked girl below him; her black hair falling slightly below her shoulder, her olive skin glowing from the sun's rays. She turns to look at him and her hazel eyes dance with excitement. The she-wolf reminds him of his Marianna before her change. The wolf girl's eyes narrow looking at him before she releases the cliff and jumps down changing back into a wolf before hitting the ground.

"A beaut, ain't she?" Glenn freezes and knows that if it was still possible his blood would've run cold. Turning to look he meets a pair of dark brown eyes of a smirking copper skinned man. His shaggy hair blowing in the breeze as the smile quickly turns into a vicious snarl. The man lunges at Glenn and to his horror transforms into a smoky grey colored wolf with huge canines. _A trap _rings in Glenn's head. The wolves intentionally led them to the mountains and cliffs leaving two of their own in waiting. His back slams into a jagged edge and he screams out in pain as he feels his marble skin crack from the force and combined weight of the wolf. Quickly he knocks the wolf off him and jumps down to join his Marianna. There is already a fire burning and the she wolf is circling her like a natural born predator.

Marianna hisses at the wolf showing her vehemence and cursing the wolf in her native tongue. The other wolves stand back ready to pounce at any moment. Hearing a deep growl Glenn suddenly feels a massive weight on his back only dealing more damage to his back. He hisses as he suddenly sees two of the wolves lunge at him; one ripping off his arm and the other taking his leg. He screams out in pain as the first wolf maliciously claws and chews into his back.

Hearing his screams Marianna looks over and quickly moves to try and aid Glenn but falls – her leg is gone; taken by the _bitch_. The small wolf is fast upon her pinning her down with a giant paw on her head and proceeds ripping her arm from the shoulder. Marianna cries out in pain as the silver wolf's claws shreds her skin from her body. She tried to bite the bitch but only received a mouthful of fur for her efforts. She watches in horror as Glenn's body is ripped into tiny pieces and then thrown into the growing fire. His head and torso is the last to go or rather it is the last thing she sees as she is instead thrown into the fire first; and her immortal life is at an end.

Glenn feels the fight knocked out of him as his mate is thrown into the flames by the young girl. She steps away from the licking flames and she's congratulated by her pack as they brush against her roughly and nip at her. She means something to them and he wants to make the mongrels pay for what they've done to the love of his life. They were supposed to spend eternity together – 56 years wasn't enough and this bitch and bastards had come along and ruined everything. Searching down deep he summons his body parts to him – just enough to hurt the female. The lean brown wolf tosses him into his flames and he watches and waits; biding his time.

The huge dark gray wolf walks up towards Leah knocking the others away and nudges her neck roughly. She smiles at him proudly as the other congratulate her on her successful kill. _'Not bad, Leah.'_ John says returning Leah's smile. She had shown up within his territory a few months back. He was concerned about allowing this 'supposedly' lone female wolf into his pack in the beginning. To him it just didn't make any sense why she was running alone. Had she run away? And if so, why? Was she simply a decoy for some greater scheme to take over his territory? The fact that his pack fell for her at first sight seemed to only feed his fear that she was bait and her _real_ pack would show up. Or even if she had come on her own would her pack eventually show up and accuse them of taking her? But that wasn't the case and she was always nothing but open and honest with him. She allowed him to search her mind and only looked at what he needed to know. Her personal thoughts and memories were her own. It floored him that the other pack had all simply lost interest over some women – imprinting, as she called it. He didn't like the sound of imprinting.

Leah has blended in well with his pack and even despite having to take on the status of an omega when she was a beta for years. He's impressed that she gets along with even the roughest of his pack, Ted, who she lovingly calls Teddy. He is mainly impressed at how quickly she's caught on to the mountain and cliff climbing by combining her strength and agility as a wolf and usage of opposable thumbs. Her speed has allowed her to become a very important asset to the pack surpassing even Leo who was the fastest. _'Well I will admit that I did have a pretty good teacher.'_ Leah throws back as she proceeds to start rubbing against John causing him to puff out his chest.

~*~*~*~*~* Three months ago ~*~*~*~*~*

John carefully moves closer to the female calling herself Leah; his ears fully erect listening for any strange sounds, nose twitching for any different smells besides hers. Leah sits waiting patiently or at least trying to wait patiently as her excitement begins to build as he comes closer and closer to her. _'Are you alone?'_ John asks and Leah nods her head. _'Where's your pack?'_

'_Disbanded…I guess you could say.'_ Leah answers mentally shrugging.

'_And why are you here? Did you not wish to join them?'_ John stops a few feet away from Leah. He's surprised by her tiny size and cannot help but wonder what she looks like in her human form. Her legs are long and slender; yet are very toned and muscular. Her muzzle is slender and holds soft curves. Even her fur is a soft, bright and silvery grey that –

'_What the hell are you looking at?'_ A deep voice breaks in interrupting John's muses. He snorts and curses himself for dropping his guard so that he wasn't aware that his twin brother, Paul, had just joined him. _'What's got you all distracted? Nothing ever distracts you. And why are you thinking about female wolves? I know we can turn into wolves and all but isn't bestiality going a bit too far. Gawd, you seriously need to get laid, huh? Preferably by a human girl.'_ Paul throws out as laughter begins to erupt within the pack.

'_Well I _must_ admit that he is picturing a pretty wolf.'_ Another deep voice throws in. John bites back a growl as he can hear the smug mockery in the voice. Looking up he notices the female cocking her head to the side looking at him with a wolfish smile on her face. Is she laughing along with his pack? Didn't they hear him having a conversation with her?

'_Oh, shit! You mean there's actually a female wolf?! Like us?!'_

~*~*~*~*~*

From there it was too late – the decision had already been made. The rest were more than willing to accept Leah within the pack. He remembers the frustration and anger he felt over his pack mates at their willingness to accept an outsider so quickly. Even Ted the more serious and introverted member in the pack seemed taken enough by her to even encourage John to give her a job. John hated Leah or rather he _wanted_ to hate her – he just didn't trust her.

Leah lets out a laugh as she feels John nuzzle her neck and someone sit down on her. She's at the bottom of the hierarchy and so she has to put up with a lot of the rough treatment and teasing. Their roughness and teasing isn't out of annoyance or because _she's_ a girl or Sam's crazy ex-girlfriend but just a brand new pack mate. Each of the guys are just showing Leah her place in the pack without belittling her, putting her down or even pitying her. John lets everyone work out their own problems whether it's in human or in wolf form by themselves. She can't help but think about how different he is from Sam who always took it upon himself to ensure that _everyone_ got along; and if they didn't he _made_ them. Yet, it's that small part that reminds her of Jacob – and she's suddenly hit with a hint of regret; she never properly said good bye.

Everyone quickly phases back grabbing their clothes from the hiding places near the edge of the cliff. Leah slips on the summer dress John and Paul's mother has given her and is busy straightening it out when Paul bumps into her saying, "I think you're now 'officially' a mountain wolf." She laughs and pushes him back and begins looking for her flip flops. Looking up Leah notices the guys waiting for her; John her new alpha stands at 6'8" the same height as Jacob, with olive-colored skin matching her own and catches his light gray eyes looking into hers. She loves his eyes because when she looks into them she finds herself lost in the cool gray hinted with flecks of brown. His hair hangs loosely framing his face and as the wind picks up hides his eyes from her. She can't help but admire his high cheek bones and his square chin – she's convinced that good looks are a requirement to be a shape shifter.

John takes his role as alpha very seriously and has personally overseen her training. She knows that it's because he didn't trust her with the others who seemed more willing to accept her. The guys each run a very tight circuit around their lands and require that the entire pack contributes to the tribe as well. 'It's not enough to protect in secret because then otherwise those who don't know our secret will think we're nothing but a gang of lay-abouts' she recalls him saying when he required her to get a job. It's not that she didn't _want _to work but more that she was just caught off guard by the totally different outlook on the pack life. She's even enrolled into the local community college near the Rez thanks to the help of Janice, John and Paul's mother, who's teaches biology; she'll start in the next few days. It's these small things that have Leah smiling warmly and appreciatively at John because he's done more for her within the last three months then anyone has done her entire life.

"Looks like you've officially impressed John now." Paul teases as he wraps an arm around Leah's shoulders pulling her in for a big bear hug. Leah chuckles and elbows him looking up to see John's exact double. The only way to tell the difference between the twins is to just hear them talk. Paul is more playful, flirty and laid back compared to his brother. Leah likes Paul but knows that if he was in charge the pack wouldn't work so well together; he never would've bothered training and strategizing as John does.

"Well maybe if John didn't have his head up his ass _all_ the time he would've been impressed at day one." Leo says pulling Leah away from Paul's grasp with a wink. Leo is the light gray wolf in the pack with the gray eyes to match – it's a family trait they share as cousins. But that's where the similarities in appearance end. Leo's skin is a deep russet color that makes his eyes stands out even more. His huge hand grips the top of Leah's head giving it a tight squeeze as reminder that she's still beneath him. His smile is bright and he reminds her so much of Seth in that he's always happy and willing to help anyone out.

Leah's eyes trail down Leo's chest to a huge scar, it's the same white mark that he bears as a wolf, that's a burn inflicted by his father as a child. Leah recalls Leo telling her that when he was little his father always got drunk after a long days work; he hated his job and took out all of his frustration on his wife and son. One night when Leo was 8 and had stumbled into the kitchen seeking a glass of water his father became enraged. His father was yelling at him, accusing him of thinking he was better than his 'old man' and was turning his own wife against him. Leo's father threw a bottle of alcohol at him hitting him in the chest and continuing in his drunken madness stated that he 'was going to save' his son's soul through a 'baptism of fire'. Leah recalls shuttering hearing the story as Leo's father then lit him on fire. His father was kicked out of the Rez after the incident; last Leo heard his father was in jail for armed robbery, assault on an officer, attempted homicide and three counts of homicide.

"I'm sure if you kissed it, it'll heal and get all better." Leo teases whispering in Leah's ear noticing her attention on his chest.

"Not today." Leah says shaking her head and earning a laugh from Paul at Leo's failed attempt to get a kiss from Leah.

The fire is still blazing strongly which concerns John but none of the others take any notice. Paul is always telling him that he over analyzes every little thing; and maybe he's right. John turns walking away from the fire looking to see Ted standing back looking on with a frown. Ted is the smallest of the males at a mere 6'1" with a lean, muscular build – the build of a true runner, his hair tucked behind his ears hanging just below his chin. Because of his small stature he's teased the most out of the small pack and, initially, it seemed that Leah was no exception and started calling the dark brown wolf, Teddy. His outrage over the nickname quickly ended once Leah started complimenting him on his gorgeous dark brown fur reminding her of a teddy bear; a huggable teddy bear.

"Let's go! We haven't got all day." Ted barks out gruffly to the remaining pack. Turning around John sees Gio, a huge guy (no matter how you slice it) easily separating Leah and Leo from one another and wrapping his arm around Leah's waist. Giovanni stands easily at 6'6" with huge broad shoulders and deep red skin. Giovanni always was the biggest even as kids growing up and despite his fun-loving nature he's always been very secretive; possibly why his fur color is a smoky dark grey. Growing up on the reservation the five of them as a group never really got along with Ted being the short-tempered one always thinking someone was mocking him. But now he knows that they've all developed a strong bond and become family – Leah included.

"Gio, Leo and Paul; leave Leah alone." John orders as the three frown quickly leaving Leah alone and heading towards their alpha. "Let's go. Some of us have work to do." John calls back and looks concerned at the still burning fire.

"Can't find my flip flop." Leah calls out searching around on the ground near the fire. "I swear you guys really need to learn how to keep your fires in check." Leah snaps over her shoulder completely unaware of another set of eyes watching her every movement closely. Glenn has sat silently biding his time, hoping and praying for the wolves to leave the female alone. His gift has been a shield that protects him from fire but only for a limited time and feels it slowly weakening. The wolves had torn his legs and arms to little pieces but his hands were thrown in whole – he doesn't need arms to get his revenge. He just has to bite her and let the venom do the rest. "Found it." Leah cheers happily turning her back to the fire and showing the shoe as a prize – that's his opening. Summing all his remaining power he leaps out the fire and knocks Leah down to the forest floor his burning body eating away at the cotton material and the flesh on her back. He revels in her cries of pain as the fire quickly spreads but he soon remembers his plan – _bite her. Must bite her._

John listens as the pack bonds over their latest vampire kill and he lets a rare small smile grace his lips. He can't help it when his smile grows when Leah's voice rings out over finding her shoe. He felt tempted to tell her _not_ to worry about a damn flip flop but she's very careful with everything that he and his family has given her. His eyes narrow noticing a slight flash in the fire and his heart stops as something jumps out of the fire heading straight for Leah. John doesn't register what he happens around him next; he doesn't notice the shock and surprised look of his brothers as he quickly explodes and charges at the monster attacking Leah. All he hears are Leah's cries in pain as the fire is eating her alive and the smell of her burning flesh hitting his nostrils.

John's eyes widen and his ears fall back flat against his head as he sees the vampire fall on Leah and he catches a glimpse of his teeth dripping with venom. Before the vampire can continue its decent he's upon it and quickly rips it away from Leah. The logical John would've thrown the damn thing back in the fire but the wolf in him is enraged and livid that something would attack _her_. He quickly pounces upon the vampire ignoring the biting fire as he rips and tears it to shreds. His tongue hurts and burns but all he cares about is making the damn thing suffer for its transgression. John's assault doesn't stop until the vampire's head is crushed beneath his paw and he continues snarling and lunging at the pieces until there is nothing left. "We gotta get them both to your moms." Leo says snapping John out of his trance. The Alpha in him immediately kicks in seeing Leah hunched over now on her knees holding Paul's hand tightly and her eyes squeezed shut as she bites back any signs of pain. He runs up and urges them to put her on his back. "I should probably carry her since I'm faster." Leo offers but a growl quickly ends that thought as Gio follows through with the request and places Leah on John's back. Without another moments thought John tears off through the forest heading towards his parents' home to get Leah some help. He doesn't know how bad her burns are but the glimpse he did catch was of a festering wound that was a mixed color of red, white, brown, black and yellow – the yellow concerns him. He continues on completely unaware of his own aching chest, his swollen tongue and the smell of decay on both of them.

'_Hang in there, Leah. Please.'_ John pleads as the rest of the pack joins in following behind him.

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A/N: Well there goes the next update. Sorry for the delay...you know what. Never mind, I take that back. There wasn't a delay - don't want ya'll to get spoiled. LOL. But I'm _finally _back on track; my internal clock is running just fine. So we'll see how things progress. But thanks for all the reviews and I'd like to welcome some new readers to my work and really appreciate your kind words and the PMs.

But you all know what to do. Read and review. If you don't review at least tell me how excited you are for ME to be going to Twicon in Chicago in June!! *squeals excitedly* I'm going to meet Kellan, Alex, Bronson and Kiowa!! *squeals and jumps up and down excitedly* I missed Kiowa when he came to my town for the New Moon release party but I was sicker than a dog and tried as I might I couldn't find the energy to even put on pants, let alone drag my ass down the stairs, through the door and open my car door. ;_; However, if it was Alex or Chaske or TayTay, himself, I'd down a whole bottle of Pepto and whatever else was in the house and prayed I didn't get sick over them - regretfully, the other fangirls could go suck it. I wish I could apologize to any girls who DID go to Hot Topic here but what can I say...you'd feel the same way. ^___^ Sighs, Alex and Kellan. Hehehehe...a wolf pack photo with me in the middle of hot guys!!!!!! C'MON JUNE!!


	5. Anger, Regrets and Promises

Anger, Regrets and Promises

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters blah, blah, blah. Bella is manipulative and selfish. Edward is a prudish, emotional and social abuser. Jacob is hot and could save my butt any day!! ^o^ LOL.**

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He runs pushing himself harder then he's ever done in his whole skin-walker life. His mind, human, is trying to piece together everything that happened from the moment he saw the flash to what has brought him to his current situation – running, full-out running with Leah on his back. He _knew_ something was wrong with the fire – his instincts _told him so_. Instead, he chose to ignore it and now, now Leah was suffering – she could've been killed. _Could still be killed_ and it would all be because of his actions. John whimpers softly as he feels Leah grip his fur and skin roughly in her small hands. She's in pain only allowing a weak whimper or a heavy and quick intake of air to be the only audible signs of her distress.

Jumping over a over fallen log signaling his closer proximity to his parents' home John flinches as he hear Leah cry out sharply and then groan heavily. He wants to tell her she's going to be okay, that he's sorry; wishes that _he_ could trade places with her enduring the pain instead. The whimpering and encouraging thoughts from his pack falls on deaf ears as he continues on pushing.

They're worried for both members of their pack especially John. John is completely unaware of his own physical state. His paws are swollen from the burns and have begun to blister and get infected with the dirt, grass and debris both from the fight and his mad dash to save Leah. His path is made clearly visible to them by the combination of blood and pus that paves the way through the forest. His heaving and aching chest goes unnoticed as it too is spotted with burns from his fight with the vampire. His chest covered in seemingly random bald spots that are red, swollen and they too are also oozing out pus. The ache in his chest has spread to his lungs that are burning and desperately gasping for more air – his tongue is swollen nearly blocking his airway. He's overexerting his body; pushing it to the brink as the only thing that is keeping the pain and weariness at bay is his mantra: _Must save Leah_. The wounds would've long sense healed or been much further along was it not the adrenaline, the worry, fear and anger coursing through him.

Coming to a halt outside his parents' backdoor he yelps desperately calling for help within. John's anxiety only builds when he hears muffled movement upstairs. _Shit_. Someone is upstairs – he has no time to wait for someone to hustle downstairs at a human's pace. Circling and pacing for a moment John lays down quickly pressing his belly against the cool grass. He coughs hoarsely as his body tries to take this moment to send blood, oxygen, white blood cells and the idea of fatigue to his limbs. Whimpering lightly John wiggles his body side-to-side gently before nudging Leah's knee with his nose. He quickly jumps, startled, by Leah's increasingly warm body temperature – she's hot; hotter than usual.

Before John can stick out his tongue as a sign of comfort the heat and pressure of Leah's body is gone from his back and sides. He fights back a snarl as Gio quickly snatches her up causing her to hiss out in pain and try to curl up in a fetal position. "I know, I know. Chew my ass out _after_ we get you patched up." Giovanni states as Leo frowns up at him. Leo and Ted had arrived first but both found themselves flustered and unsure of how to help or what to do; neither man knowing where to touch Leah without causing her pain and even more discomfort. Leo's concern is the same as John's by her increased body heat that seemed to be rolling off her body in waves. _Any hotter and she'll die_.

It is Paul that opens the door as an old woman hobbles into the kitchen with a frown on her wrinkly face. Her skin, possibly, once a smooth olive-colored skin like the twins is now tanned with age and many days of working out in the sun. Her body is bent with a small hunchback and her hobble is from a broken hip earned many years ago. Her eyes, despite the broken and aged look of the rest of her body, are sharp, bright and the same piercing gray as her grandsons. "Grandma Nadie, Leah and John are hurt." Paul breathes out his usual playful voice now lanced with worry as Giovanni carefully sits Leah down on the kitchen table.

"What happened?" She asks quickly noticing the young woman's pain.

"It's a serious third degree burn." Leo answers recognizing the wound and unconsciously rubbing his chest. His own chest begins to burn and ache with a pain that until now had lied dormant awaiting just such a gruesome sight to trigger the horror of that night and the many nights during his painful recovery.

"Where did it come from?" The old woman asks carefully inspecting the wound that is now smoking and…even sizzling right before her eyes.

"A vamp jumped out the fire we had made. Somehow it was able to piece itself together and then jumped her from behind." Ted states coldly with a hard frown on his face but his eyes displaying his true emotions - fear.

Everyone turns around as they hear John stumbles in his breathing sounding strained, wheezy and forced. John's tongue is a horrendous mix of purple and black, swollen to a startling size and producing a bitter and metallic smell. "Have him sit down before he faints on us." Nadie says frowning at the state of the two skin walkers before her. Nadie looks between the two noting Leah in much more pain but John's injuries definitely much more life threatening. "Boys, go outside in my garden and bring me some aloe and peppermint." Nadie orders as she walks towards the refrigerator and pulls out a gallon of milk. Leo and Paul quickly nod their heads and both hurry outside to the garden that has been growing along the side of the house since Nadie was a small child. "I'm going to take care of your tongue first." Nadie explains pouring the milk into a glass as John attempts to growl at his grandmother. "I _know_ she's in pain but _you_ are worst off with your swollen tongue. You're probably having a hard time breathing, aren't you?" Nadie asks knowingly as Leo and Paul both return with the needed plants. "Drink this down for now." Nadie orders handing John the glass as he glares at it darkly before turning a worried glance to Leah. Leah's body is shaking uncontrollably; her muscles spasm involuntary from the pain.

Paul frowns at the ingredients his grandmother asked him to get. She's the tribe's healer and she's taught all of her grandchildren some of the secrets to making herbal remedies. He never paid much attention during the lessons and only copied after John without every really knowing what he was using and why. Luckily, Leo ran out with him who recognized the herbs and told him to not just take the leaves but the stem for the aloe which would help soothe and heal the burns. "Mix them together." Leo whispers noticing Paul's hesitation as he instinctually pulls a huge bowl from under the counter. "The aloe will have a very bitter taste but the peppermint will sweeten it. And the milk will help it go down easier for John." Leo continues explaining stepping up and making the mix. He had to make it for himself when he was child still dealing with the burn – Nadie showed him and gave him free access to her herb garden.

"Ted run to the store and buy some more milk. We're going to need it for Leah's back." Nadie orders as she notices his discomfort and anxious movements seeming to feel lost and useless. Ted takes off for the store feeling slightly relieved at being given some task to help his Alpha and pack mate out. Nadie gives John a stern look as he returns the same gaze back. She knows that he's waiting for her to tend to Leah first; gone are the days when one look from her would send John running to the corner as punishment for something he _knew_ he did wrong but she hadn't the foggiest idea. Now he was a man, the future chief and Alpha of the pack protecting their lands. "Drink the milk to help your tongue while I tend to Leah." Nadie says with a defeated sigh. John gives his grandmother a curt nod and brings the glass to his lips feeling at ease that Leah will be tended to.

John drinks the milk as his Grandma Nadie begins attending to Leah. As the Alpha it is his responsibility to protect his pack mates and _she_ is no exception. She was supposed to stay safe – at least that's what her mother has been telling her. And every time the two talked Leah promised to be safe. John tries to swallow his own disgust, remorse and disappointment. As Leah is forced to lay down on the table and the cold milk is poured over her back she hisses as her muscles flex and relax. John promises to _not_ let her or anyone else in his pack to get hurt like this ever again.

The two packs combine coming across a trail of three vampires. The scents burning their sinuses and only inflaming the building rage. These monsters have not only trespassed on their land but have also murdered innocents and now have forced them to push any thoughts of recovering their female to the back. Sam finds it hard to control his pack's excitement over the opportunity for a kill – it's been _years_ since they've actually had to work together. The younger wolves' excitement stems from the fact that they've never really had a chance to battle a vampire – that opportunity always falling on the smaller pack that actually _ran_ with the leeches. This thought is shared with Jacob and he growls viciously throwing a dark glance at Sam who continues running on as if nothing has happened.

A few miles away a girl sits staring off into the trees; her eyes unfocused but straining to see. Her companions sit cuddling and cooing to one another completely ignoring her. Coming out of her thoughts she sighs and rolls her eyes to see a brown haired girl wearing black jeans and an old 'hello kitty' sweater. She's sitting in the lap of a man with light brown hair who hasn't even bothered to wear a shirt. He's whispering in the girl's ear causing her to giggle – a sickening sight. She, herself, is an exact copy of the girl – they're twins. Abigail turns her attention from her sister, Gabriel, and her beau, Chris, back to the trees sensing _something_ isn't right about the area all of a sudden. Ever since they were little she's always seemed to have a sixth sense for danger. Too bad it never saved them from their father abuse.

"Chris, stop." Gabby coos letting out a giggle. Abby continues looking trying to pinpoint the danger when suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck and arms stand up. She slowly gets up from her sitting position on top of their latest kill – male hunters are generally the easiest of prey. The wind shifts direction for a split second before returning to its south easterly course. She catches the slightest whiff of…wet dog? Her eyebrow arches as she tries to process the information. She can't help but think of their family dog, Bear, a huge Rottweiler – German Shepherd mix. He was a good dog, loyal, devoted and the one thing that kept their father at bay when he was feeling especially needy, grabby or just plain drunk. Are there hunters in the area? Are hunting dogs generally used in this area? Her ears twitch trying to pick up the howl or baying of a hound – but there's nothing. And it's that _nothingness_ is what begins to truly creep her out.

"Gabby, Chris – it's time to go." Abby orders as she briskly turns and stalks away. Her instincts are screaming at her to put as much distance between them and this area. Without another word she walks past the interrupted lovers earning a worried look.

"What is it, Abby?" Gabby questions as she follows behind her sister. She's learned long ago to always trust her sister's instincts; however, they've had no need for it since they were both transformed four years ago.

"I caught a faint whiff of a dog – or maybe a whole…pack of them." Abby simply answers frowning as her nose involuntarily scrunches thinking back on the scent.

"Dogs?" Chris scoffs rolling his eyes. "So smell a pack of hunting dogs. Be deal." Chris says grabbing Gabby's wrist and pulling her into his chest before planting a light kiss on her forehead.

"I don't _think_ they're just 'hunting' dogs." Abby explains grabbing Gabby's wrist and snatching her away from Chris.

"There's no reason to be afraid of a pack of mutts." Chris snarls out not releasing his hold on Gabby.

"I _know_ that but do you hear any noise? Wouldn't hunting dogs be making some noise or something?"

"Maybe we should get going." Gabby quietly admits moving to stand beside her sister. Chris sighs heavily shutting; his eyes shut tight and he pinches the bridge of his nose. Chris loves Gabriel with all his un-beating heart but her sister has been nothing but a pain in his ass since he first laid eyes on her. If it wasn't for Abigail he would've changed Gabriel years ago but because of her weird sixth sense ability getting close to the youngest twin was tough. She didn't trust him the first moment they laid eyes on one another – and look at where it got them.

"She's just over reacting _again_." Chris says with a confident smile. "Remember when we first met? And the night you both were changed?" Chris throws out holding back a triumphant smile as the twins both shudder. The night they were changed was going to be their final night of their lives. Gabby and Abby both, instinctively, hold one another for comfort. Both hearing their father's harsh words, his yelling and screaming at them still ringing in their ears. His eyes wild from the crystal meth or some other drug he'd gotten his dirty hands on. The strong aroma of alcohol and piss wafting off him with every punch, stab and kick he threw. The corner's report would later say that due to the drug/alcohol content in his system he went, in laymen's terms, insane. The bodies of his two daughters still have yet to be discovered. "See? We can't always _trust_ your instincts, Abby." Chris adds after the twins shiver themselves out of their memories.

"But, let's get moving anyway." Gabby suggests squeezing Abby's hand supportively – Chris may not believe her, but she does.

"Alright, fine." Chris huffs as he scratches the back of his head.

It is just as the three turn to leave the area do they suddenly capture the strong smell of wet dog. They all freeze like rabbits; all of their senses reaching out to identify the presence or possible danger. The smell is more than just a wet dog but like a hundred _huge_ wet dogs that have been confined to a small room allowing the scent to permeate into everything. Their ears pick up the sound of many…feet pounding? At the soles of their feet they can feel the vibrations growing stronger and stronger. They all quickly exchange frightened looks before running. None of them fully understand _why_ they are running but sharing in the fear.

Abby feels her skin begin to do something she's not experienced in years – she has goose bumps. Out of the corner of her eye she catches a red blur that appears to be running along side them. When she turns her head to get a better glimpse it's already gone but slightly ahead she sees a light brown color – _A tree?_ Abby's whole body is tingling as she hears Gabby gasp and looking to her left she catches a huge black object running along side them. Her eyes widen as it moves in closer and a huge, massive dog is now seen running along side them. It's not a normal dog because just the size alone is…well it's got to be a record. "Werewolves." Chris breathes out as he grabs each of the twins' wrists and begins running full out.

_Too late_.

The three vampires stop short as two more of the massive wolves step out. Abby gasps at the huge red wolf that she'd seen earlier. He's bigger than the black one; his lips curled back in a malicious snarl revealing huge, glistening white canines that look to be six inches long. The short coat does nothing but accentuate the muscles in his chest that puff out in a show of power, aggression and dominance. The three vampires crowd together as the wolf's legs stiffens seeming to elevate him to a massive height easily casting a shadow over their bodies. "So, uh, any ideas?" Gabby asks barely above a whimper but a twitch of the wolf's ear shows that he's heard them.

"Yea, that _you_ should've listened to _me_." Abby says placing her back to Chris narrowing her eyes at him. More wolves come out from the trees begin to circle them. "_Now!_" Abby shouts seeing an opening as the three quickly take off trying to put as much distance between them. The three run maneuvering through the trees skillfully at a blinding speed. Unfortunately, the wolves keep up easily and the fear continues to grow. Looking ahead of themselves they see three wolves ahead of them – a dark brown wolf, a light sandy colored wolf and a dark gray wolf with black spots on its back.

"Yea, well you were right but I was wrong." Chris says narrowing his eyes and holding Gabby close to him. "So now that _we've_ gotten that out the way. Think Dr. Doolittle. How do we get pass this?"

Abby quickly assesses the situation before them as the other wolves are quickly approaching. Wolves of varying sizes and colors are quickly closing in behind them. Her junior year she wanted to be a veterinarian and spent her last summer alive studying the anatomy of domesticated animals along with working part time in a 24-hr vet just handling the animals. With her strength and speed she may just be able to hurt enough wolves to give them an opening. To her right there is a lean dark grey wolf with a black right paw and more wolves much smaller than the massive red and black wolves. Bending down low she quickly darts over towards the light sandy brown wolf and with a quick hand she snatches one by this throat pinning it the ground. She hears the others snarl and move towards her but Chris and Gabby are there to cover her as she easily breaks the wolf's leg. Hearing the creature's cry in pain she jumps back and the three are off and running again.

An angry howl rips through the silence of the forest as the hunt is on. The three are so focused on running and escaping the jaws of the massive beasts; the sound of the monsters paws beating the ground mercilessly as they chase after them. A loud yelp and howl tears through the air and Abby digs down deep moving faster than she's ever gone in her immortal life. Unheard is the muffled cry for help as five or six wolves pounce upon a fallen vampire yanked back by the dark grey wolf with the black spots. Its life enduring a slow and painful death as the limbs are rip and gnawed off, jaw is broken under the force of a massive paw preventing a cry of help being let out – all that comes out is a weak gurgle that only lasts for a second before the throat is ripped out.

Abby feels her fear continue to grow as she feels the monsters paws trying to trip her up as they are right behind her. They're heavy breaths building up a sickening and disgusting perspiration on the back of her neck. She knows that if it was possibly she'd be crying now – crying out for her mother to protect her from the monsters. She'd cry out for Bear to growl and bark back before curling up next to her and Gabby as a sign of comfort. But just as quickly as the fear has arisen it suddenly stops. She stops turning around with a sense of relief welling up inside of her. The monsters have stopped running and are angrily pacing back and forth as if behind an electric fence. The biggest wolf, the red one, seems to be the most annoyed at this realization as a small dusty brown wolf bumps into him and earns a quick bite and vicious head shake for the contact. All of the bigger wolves seem to be in a bit of agitation snapping and snarling at one another. "So the mutts are on a leash, huh?" Chris says with a mocking chuckle as he slowly inches closer towards the wolves and their invisible barrier. "Not so tough now are you?" He continues mocking the biggest wolf who tries to lunge at him but is stopped short by the barrier.

Abby joins in his laughter as suddenly one wolf appears behind the others. The snarling and growling gives way to an odd almost canine-like laugh. Their tongues are lulling out their mouths as if sharing some 'in-joke'. It is then that she notices that something, or rather _someone_ is missing. Looking around Abby quickly searches for Gabby – Chris seems to also notice at the same time and his eyes are huge as saucers madly darting back and forth across the landscape. "GABBY! GABBY!" Abby calls out as the final wolf arrives and the others move back as if making way for the last arrival. Abby looks on in horror, her mouth hanging open in shock as the black wolf approaches with half of Gabby's face in his massive jaws. "GABBY?!" Abby cries out running towards the black wolf with her sister – her remaining eye looking wildly about seemingly unable to focus on any one thing.

"NO!" Chris cries out snatching Abby back before the red wolf's jaws can close down on her. "They're baiting you!" Chris states holding Abby tightly to his chest and glaring darkly at the quiet beasts. The huge red wolf snorts and the black wolf drops his prize obediently – _the alpha male?_ The sweet scent of burning incense reaches Abby's nose as she suddenly becomes aware of where her sister's remaining body parts are.

"They've _burned her_!" Abby exclaims grabbing hold of her hair and tugging on it desperately. She looks up at Chris to see his jaw clench tightly as the wolves each sit down making a path from the invisible barrier to Gabby's remains. "These, _those MONSTERS_ _are burning her alive!_" Abby throws battling with herself. She wants to save her sister – even if it's just a small part of her but her fear and instincts keep her at a safe distance.

"They think this is some kind of game." Chris whispers taking in the 'gauntlet of wolves'. "They want us to try to run down and get her back." Chris says laughing sadly as he shakes his head. The smell of Gabby's burning flesh begins to weaken signaling the end of what once remained of Gabriel Hillard.

_A body will never be found_.

Locking eyes with the huge wolf Abby sees an intelligence she hadn't bothered to be aware of. Looking up towards the cloudy sky she can still see the sun's ray trying to fight through the clouds. _No moon_. _Not werewolves but something…more_. Squaring up her shoulders Abby roughly pushes Chris away from her earning a shocked expression that she did not need to look at him to know was now directed at her. His eyes settle in on her taking in her features and she fights back a shiver, part of her remaining mortal reflexes, thinking about how he may be thinking about sinking his teeth and claws into her flesh. Making her join her sister in death – as it should've been four years ago. Confidently Abby walks up towards the red wolf whose ears and nose twitch at her approaching form. She hears Chris calling her, willing her back to his side but she refuses to show fear. Her mother wasn't afraid nor was Bear or at least they never showed it – and neither will she. The huge red wolf's shoulders shift his muscles rippling under the coat and she knows he's itching and waiting for his opportunity to kill her as well. They had promised to always stick together no matter what – where one traveled the other would follow.

"You will all _pay_ for what you've done to my sister." Abby spits out and quickly moves forward to the surprise of Chris and the enjoyment of the waiting wolves. Jaws and massive heads quickly move towards her but come up with nothing as Abby dances back towards Chris with a smug smile on her face. The red wolf looks down as the others quickly raise their heads snarling, growling and snapping in the vampires' general direction. Abby's smile only grows as realization dawns on 'Big Red', as she will now take to calling him, as he sees a line carved into the ground. He quickly locks eyes with her and she nods her head as the other wolves calm down. "Like Chris said." Abby says smirking but her eyes flashing with hatred. "You mutts are on a leash _and_ that's proof of your limitations. Like I said 'Big Red' I'll make you and the rest of your pack of _mongrels pay for killing my sister_.

"Clever girl." Chris admits smiling down at Abby with admiration – his eyes also dead set upon revenge, bloodshed and death. "So I guess we'll be seeing you all around soon."

"Real soon." Abby adds while nodding her head in agreement. "And believe me when I say that's not a threat but a _promise_." As the two turn and quickly disappear into the trees.

The red wolf's lips curl back in an angry and vicious snarl as the fur along his back and on his hackles rise. A huge, loud and angry howl erupts from his throat as he throws his head back and the others join in. If Chris and Abby understood a wolf's howl they might've caught the slight hint of sadness, regret and calling of a missing pack mate.

* * *

A/N: Well...wow, this chapter just kinda made itself up as I started writing. I was afraid that I was going to lose it while cooking dinner but I didn't and my barbecue spare ribs was a hit!! YAY!! But the chapter originally started off with John and went from there but then I went back to La Push and man...did it go from there. But, I won't lie to you all the next chapter is going to pretty angsty for Jacob and the La Push pack. I'm sure you're all wonder well why, Kei? Why? Don't you love Jacob anymore! *turns and looks back at a whimpering and puppy eyed Jacob* Of course, I do!! However, my angst has been brought on by.......*pulls out Yuri's drum set and begins a horrible drum roll* -_-; It'd be easier if it this thing wasn't so damn tiny.

Ahem, but you all should know by now it's not often that I plug a story but here goes like probably my third plug - EVER!

But, if you're up for some real angst that makes you want to hate Jacob Black. *runs and kicks Jake in the shin*

Jacob: Ouch, damnit. I SAID NO CLETS!!

Me: Ahem, it's Glitter In the Air by sentinel10. So if you haven't already checked out the story then please go ahead. It's even on my fave story lists. ^-^ And oh, check out cucumber07's stories. Alright, so I think that's enough of my plugs for another year or so. OH! And Hilja...BRING IT!! I know you've got some wonderful Jacob Black, Embry Call, Quil and Paul filled review. *dances around* It's been so long. Hehehe...and check out hilja's stories too. If you don't like them then something is obviously wrong with _you_.

NOW THEN....REVIEW!! (._. ) ( ._.) (._.) See...it's right there. Just click that button and make me happy.


	6. Old Alpha Meet New Alpha

Old Alpha Meet New Alpha

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters but I don't think I'd be any less excited about watching Oprah tonight that has the stars of Twilight and hopefully TAYTAY! \(^o^)/ WOOOHOOOO!**

* * *

John awakens with a start his body covered in sweat, his chest heaving and his cheeks stained with falling tears. It's the same nightmare he's had over and over again since the attack on Leah two days ago. It starts off innocently and sweetly enough with him sitting in a car with a girl. It's not just any girl and not just any car. It's his first car; a '74 red Chevy Camaro that had been a gift from his Uncle Hank. The girl with him was Lisa, his first and last girlfriend, wearing her favorite green t-shirt and worn jeans. They were just out riding after seeing a movie when suddenly a deer darts out in front of the car. John turns his wheel swiftly to avoid hitting the deer but he was speeding and he loses control of the car. The car tumbles and flips over so many times that it leaves him dizzy. When he comes to he's outside of the crumpled car and he sees a body lying not too far away from him.

Adrenaline courses through John's veins as he cries out Lisa's name and runs to her. Every bone in his body should be broken – or at least something. He ignores the lack of pain and carefully runs to her as then suddenly a burning body jumps from the car – when did the car catch on fire? He watches in horror as the burning mass lands on top of Leah and begins tearing at her viciously. He hears duel voices calling out his name begging for his help. Everything after that is blank.

Getting up and heading down the hall John slowly opens the door to find Leah lying on her stomach. Her back looks mildly better but she's still suffering from a fever and the wounds are slowly closing up. His Grandma Nadie made an aloe-peppermint mix that she added with the milk and has been applying to Leah's back daily. Each of the guys has stopped by everyday to sit with her and to see if she needs anything. As usual she's been stubborn and adamant that she's alright and doesn't need anything. At times her fever has gotten dangerously high to the point she's delirious and calls out to her father and re-lives old conversations. According to Nadie she's supposed to be fine in another 2-3 days. It's impressive based on 'normal' human standards but for John the attack never should've happened. Just like the car accident.

Walking down the stairs he heads towards the kitchen to find the room empty. With a sigh he heads over to the phone that's hanging on the wall by a billboard with a list of phone numbers. John's debated over whether or not he should do what it is he's about to do. Leah has called home at least once a week to check up on her mother and two of the Elders in her tribe. She talks to them for hours each using a phone card to pay for the long distance call. Just as a precaution she's given their numbers to his parents; in fact, his mother, Janice, has spoken to Sue many times. It was mostly about getting Leah's high school transcript so she could apply for college and how she's been adjusting. He'd want someone to inform his family if something had happened to him and he was miles away from home. But at the same time…he's worried about what the news of her injury will bring. Will they have her come home? Will they blame him? Does _she_ blame him?

John sighs heavily resting his head against the wall next to the phone. The last few days he's gone over the scenario in his head over and over again – analyzing every detail. He knows that it didn't _have_ to happen; a small part of him has tried to rationalize that the attack was unavoidable – if not her then someone else. However, what has really been weighing on his mind was a conversation with Leah the day before.

~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~

John sits surrounded by the rest of his pack all in some vain attempt to watch television but really all closely looking over Leah. Leah's pain seemed to have eased from Nadie's treatment and she seemed to be alert albeit still in some discomfort. John had tried to get the guys to run their patrols but he eventually gave in knowing that they'd all want to make sure that Leah was feeling up to par with their own eyes. Leah sits on the floor with her legs tucked underneath her, her hands balled up into tight fists resting underneath her chin and elbows resting on the small coffee table before her. John looks around from his spot directly behind Leah seated on the couch with Paul to his right, Giovanni sitting in the recliner to his left, Leo seated next to Leah and Ted next to Leo.

Despite everyone's attention seemingly placed on the program flashing before them – John knows that the entire pack have their senses keened on Leah. Every move she makes from a ragged intake of air and every sound she makes it closely monitored. The guys have long since given up asking Leah whether or not she's okay since it only seems to aggravate her to be doted on – her anger flaring up; not to the point of phasing but definitely enough for the others to receive a cold, hard and dark glare that sent even Gio retreating back a few steps.

John understands their concern and Leah's frustration but what has him really worried still is her increased body temperature and her lack of appetite. Leah's body temperature has remained around a constant 122 degrees leaving her sluggish, sweaty and irritable. John frowns looking at Leah's back that is fully exposed thanks to a shirt his mother has given to her. Leah's back is covered in scabs, blisters, and a few skinned over wounds. John can feel the heat rolling off of Leah's back that is hot enough to warm his shins; that being quite a feat. Despite being a female and the smallest of the pack her appetite was enough to put any huge grown man to shame. John sighs noting Leah's turkey's sandwich still sits in front of her barely touched; he recalled that it was her favorite type of sandwich with mayo, mustard, dill pickles, romaine lettuce, red onions, American and Swiss cheese all on a Kaiser bun. Any other time she'd have dove into the sandwich and, if you were lucky, could catch her picking up crumbs with her pinkie. The fact that the sandwich has been left with only a small bite for so long despite the amount of hungry wolves in the vicinity is also proof that the others _want_ her to finish it – otherwise, it'd be up for grabs.

John gets up with a sigh and heads towards the kitchen – the only acknowledgment received of his departure is Leah leaning back using her hands to support her weight up. Heading to the kitchen John pulls out a glass jug of milk, the medicine his grandmother has pulled together for the both of them. John looks down at his chest it very much similar to Leah's back only with small patches here and there trailing from his chest to his throat and even some on his hands. Drinking a small glass of the milk John sits down waiting for Leah to be called in for her medicine – it's the only way he can be present for her treatment without being frowned at. Hearing some shuffling upstairs John waits as Nadie moves into the living room. "Leah." She calls walking by.

"Ma'am?" Leah calls back her voice sounding softer and bit hoarse then usual.

"Kitchen." Nadie only calls back as she walks in and smiles at her grandson. John barely registers his grandmother's mutterings as he hears Leah sigh and her heartbeat races as she slowly stands up – her back stiff from the tightened and healing wounds. Leah groans in frustration as each of the remaining wolves all hold their breaths waiting for _anything_ to go wrong or if she needs help. "She's a stubborn and independent young lady, huh?" John looks at Nadie and chuckles nodding his head suddenly becoming aware of the same breathe he was holding as the rest of the pack.

"I'm just steadfast." Leah says walking into the kitchen smiling at Nadie proudly.

"Pig-headed works too." John throws out earning that now infamous frown with the cold, hard stare. John smiles, a rare sight on the alpha, back at Leah who rolls her eyes heading over to the kitchen sink. John's smile falls as Leah stands looking down at the counter with her hands planted firmly on top of it; her shoulders tense and even though he cannot see her face he knows that she's looking at the obstacle with deep dread.

John's done his best to allow Leah to keep her pride but cannot help but wonder why she is so opposed to receiving help. Getting up from the kitchen table John walks past Nadie to stand behind Leah. Letting out a sigh he gently pushes Leah's waist getting her to turn around and placing his hands firmly on her hips picks her up and sets her on the counter. John turns around heading back towards the counter to avoid seeing her frown but stops short hearing a soft, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." John says turning back to watch Leah as she proceeds to lay down across the sink. Something about her quiet and reluctant appreciation has always bothered him – when she first arrived she was stubborn not wanting to accept too many of the 'hand-outs'. He assured her at the time that she'd pay them back for the food, clothing and shelter. This statement seemed to easily put her at ease but since the attack her stubbornness has grown. Almost as if she'll wear on their patience or something.

"Alright, lose the shirt." Nadie orders pushing past John as Leah quickly complies and lies across the sink which already has a basin sitting in it to catch the milk mix.

John sits back quietly watching Leah's face as she closes her eyes relaxing under the soothing effects of the medicine. "I'm sorry." Leah finally says breaking the silence of the room. Nadie doesn't react to Leah's apology but only continues pouring the milk over her wounds and occasionally removing some loose and dead skin. John's features is sheer confusion as he gets up and moves closer towards her.

"Sorry for what?" He asks scooting a chair over and sitting down so he's at least looking at her face.

"If I'd been paying more attention you wouldn't have gotten hurt. Or I should've been quicker and knocked the thing off of me." Leah answers looking down with a small frown her voice lanced with disappointment and anger.

_She's blaming herself?_

"Leah, it wasn't," John begins with a small smile – something he finds himself doing more and more around her.

"Then you wouldn't have gotten hurt. You shouldn't have put yourself in danger like that…for me." Leah says whispering the last part and John stiffens as his smile becomes a hard frown and his brows furrow.

"Are, are you saying I shouldn't have _bothered_ saving _you_?" John asks as his hands tighten into fists and his nails began biting into his flesh. He doesn't understand how she could think or say such a thing to him. Leah looks up at him with embarrassed surprise. "What was I supposed to do? Just stand there and let you _die_? How much sense does that make?" John demands his temper quickly flaring.

Leah bites her bottom lip feeling her anger and embarrassment growing. A small part of her feels the need to lash back out at the angry man before her – old defense mechanism. She wants to growl out that she 'didn't ask for his help' and 'that she could've taken care of it herself'. She doesn't understand why men react to her apologies with anger and frustration. She remembers having the same feeling of regret, disappointment and anger in herself years ago when she first phased and was caught up in the Newborn War over, then, Bella Swan. She had gone to apologize to Jacob because he was injured protecting her. He turned on her telling her that she 'needed to be more careful and if she hadn't been so stupid he'd not be in this mess'. She had quickly turned back on him hurt that her apology and attempt to make some kind of amends fell on deaf ears. The two of them had a serious yelling match which involved insults, harsh language and threats of bodily harm until Billy asked her to leave. After that Leah had given up _being_ nice to any of the other boys after that, Seth being the exception.

Leah knows it wrong to pin the sins of the others on this new pack but right now with her hurt ego; sometimes it's hard. John gives her a look as if realization is dawning on him. "Has something like this happened before?" John asks his eyes softening looking into Leah's.

"I wasn't paying attention. We were fighting an army of newborns." Leah says looking down avoiding meeting John's eyes. She found her anger melting away just looking into his warm grey eyes that showed so much concern for her. "One lunged at me and Jake,"

"Your former alpha, right?" John clarifies as Leah nods.

"He wasn't my alpha at the time. He didn't want it and so he was beta. But he jumped in front to save me. He wound up getting hurt – really bad." Leah says her fists tightening up remembering Jacob's screams of pain. "I was blamed for his injuries…and no one cared how much I apologized. I, I didn't mean for him to get hurt." Leah says feeling a lump catch in her throat. She's never talked about that day, not even with Jacob once they were friends, and all the pent up emotions she had from that day seem to be building up to finally break out. Her eyes begin to sting recalling all the hurtful things they had said to one another – she missed him; she missed her Almighty Alpha, Jacob Black.

"They blamed _you_ for the attack?" John asks in disbelief noticing both Leah's eyes and nose starting to turn red.

"Yea, but," Leah begins but doesn't get to finish before John growls her into silence.

"No, _buts_, Leah. It wasn't your fault – neither attack. We both made a conscious decision to protect you. If he wasn't _man_ enough to own up to his decision then that was _his_ problem – not yours." John states feeling his anger over Leah's former pack mates growing. He had an idea that Leah's pack wasn't that supportive or understanding of Leah being thrust into the world with them. He had listen to her _try_ and explain their crude, abusive and cold behavior as all of them just being 'kids' but it didn't make any of it right or okay. They were a pack of immature, over-grown children who instead of stepping up and accepting their responsibilities instead hid behind childish antics and foolish teenage lust.

John was only 17-yrs old when he first phased; a year older than Jacob but he still stepped up to become the alpha. He didn't _want_ it but it was his birthright, his job, his duty. He didn't know how to be a leader like his father and all those before him but he tried his best. He knew he couldn't lead like his forefathers but he led as he saw fit and it worked. The idea of abusing and torturing his pack mates the way Leah was aggravating him. As far as he saw it, sure Leah didn't react in the best possible way either but how much shame, pity, and the feeling of 'not belonging' could _he_ put up with before he too turned and lashed out?

"Leah, you're apart of my pack now." John says coming out of his thoughts and pulling Leah up. He was now suddenly aware of his grandmother's absence and handed her towel to cover her naked chest. "No matter what I want you to know that you're worth protecting." And pulls her into a hug. "I'd give my life to protect you just like any of the guys would do the same. And I know you'd do the same for us."

~*~*~*~ End Flashback~*~*~*~

John's not sure what possessed him to hug Leah but he does recall feeling a sense of comfort wash over them both. He's fought against having her in the pack but he was out-voted and honestly she's some how worked her way into his life instead of just being a co-worker or an associate.

Picking up the phone he slowly begins to dial pushing his fears and worries aside. Her family has a right to know what has happened and he will take full responsibility for it. Holding a breath he waits for someone to pick up – anyone. Or so he thinks.

* * *

The moments the two vampires were out of sight a blinding rage erupted amongst the wolves over the failed slaughter of the intruders. The two packs minds combined as one through their alphas; allows the many thoughts to blend as one as fear over the female's promise, excitement over the one they did capture and blame is lain upon the missing she-wolf. Jacob isn't sure who mentions his beta's name but he soon quickly became overcome with a sense of grief, loss, regret, jealousy and disappointment. The true Alpha's feelings washing over the rest of the wolves as they all join him in the mourning of their pack mate.

The run back home obviously had given them time to think over the situation – Seth was hurt and quickly healing; albeit the wrong way but healing still. Two vampires were on the loose and if there was anything the older wolves learned was that vampires were vindictive and cold-blooded killers; revenge was certainly on the horizon. Finally that so many lives should not have been lost; there should've been someone still patrolling – correction, _more_ should've been patrolling besides Leah. Leah shouldn't have been the only one out there. Scenarios run through Jacob's head of 'what ifs' involving Leah and the leeches. Would anyone have heard her howl if she'd called for reinforcements? Would she try to tackle them on her own? If _anyone_ had heard her would they only be in the same situation? Would Leah be hurt instead of Seth?

The harsh truth that _all_ of the wolves had to deal with was that they had limitations placed on them. Their territory range now only stretched so far and the reach was only as far as their imprints would allow them. When the packs returned to the Clearwater home they were bombarded with questions from the girls inquiring if they were okay, why was Seth hurt, did they get them?

Jacob's body had tensed when Nessie ran to hug him tightly expressing her fears and joy that he was alright. He felt slightly sickened that her presence was slowly washing away his anxiety over Leah's absence but he was thankful that it wasn't enough to completely rid him of the thought. That was enough for him to remove her tiny and pale hands from his body as he stepped forward to report the current situation to the Elders. He fought back a growl as their eyes took on a look of disappointment when it was learned that the leeches escaped. They had all failed – a pack of grown men failed where a single woman could've succeeded; a serious blow to their egos.

Tensions grew high as Nessie offered to call her grandfather to tend to Seth's arm which was healed at a nauseating and unnatural angle. Growls and snarls erupted throughout the small room and Jacob barked at her to do _no_ such thing. He had recalled Leah telling him that one of the cubs had trained to become an EMT – Eli, in fact. The young man stepped forward quickly at Jacob's command and quickly went to work breaking and resetting the bone. Leeches had killed their people, on their land and, even though it was never spoken it was agreed, that it was leeches fault that the _true_ Alpha had seriously shirked in his duties in ensuring the safety of his tribe and his pack.

Jacob had failed and his beta wasn't there to back him up, support him and give him advice as she was known to do. For the first time in a very long time Jacob Black felt alone. This feeling of loneliness and abandonment did not leave him as over the next few days all of the wolves were now patrolling changing shifts every 3-hrs. The two leeches had appeared multiple times during that period killing an innocent and running just fast enough to keep the wolves on their tails until their limit was reached. A huge circle was slowly being made around the entire area mocking their weakness. The Cullens had offered their services but it was quickly refused by Jacob after Bella had taken it upon herself to be the acting representative between the Cullens and the La Push wolves. She berated Jacob for his 'irrational and primitive behavior'. All leeches found within their territories were supposed to be brought to the Cullens to talk and explain their situation. The wolves were _not_ to harm any of the leeches because a possible alliance could be formed. At the time Jacob agreed upon it not wanting anyone to be hurt unnecessarily; but that was before the three leeches that showed up were responsible for the deaths of 15 people – a family of 5 with the oldest being merely 14-years old and the youngest 5.

He stood stoic, unmoving as his face and his mind remained perfectly neutral and blank. Edward stood aside watching him closely trying to understand the massive man before him who took a tongue lashing from his wife. Bella insisted on calling them monsters for killing the female leech and then making a mockery of her body by taunting the others. _Guard dogs_. That's what they were and had become to the Cullens; oversized, under-rated and mindless guard dogs. Over the years they had done anything and everything the Cullens asked of them and now suddenly _they_ were the monsters – the murderers and killers. Jacob did_ not_ let it go unnoticed when he asked Bella was _she_ aware of the attacks in the area that she quickly looked away and as part of her old human habit began to stutter while averting her gaze. The Cullens all knew but since it wasn't within 'their' territory there was no need for them to get involved. _How convenient_.

Jacob's annoyance only grew when he asked the Cullens of his missing beta. It was Carlisle who eventually admitted that he knew Leah was planning on leaving – they _all_ knew. Edward knowing exactly the day she left – Jacob didn't ask but the look in Edward's eyes gave Jacob all the confirmation he would need. He was _strongly_ advised by the blonde leech to keep his anger and frustration in check when her niece was involved. "It's not _our_ fault your bitch left you." She spat angrily as he turned his back to leave. The remark had hit a nerve with all of Quileutes present but none openly acknowledged the remark; why? Because their Alpha chose not to.

To Jacob all of this transpired years ago but it had only been about a month ago. Since then the two packs combined as one after so many years apart – the combination has been able to ease the sense of loss over Leah's departure if even a little bit. Jacob had hoped that recombining the two packs would make patrolling and working together easier but without Leah things were becoming tougher. Sam seemed hell-bent on exerting his power within the pack even if it was just below Jacob. The only problem was that Jacob _didn't_ want Sam as his beta; he _didn't_ want _any_ of them to fill the position. It was Leah's position and assigning it to another didn't sit right with him.

He knew she was coming back and when she _did_ he wanted to show her how much she really meant to him. That, in his eyes, there was _no one_ that could ever replace her. Letting out a heavy sigh he sits back in the Clearwater couch fighting back a yawn. The Clearwater home has become their meeting place for the last few days. The comings and goings of the wolves reminding him of earlier times where he'd walk in and would be able to find Leah laid out on the couch, the same couch he's sitting on now, sleeping soundly or in the kitchen grumbling about feeding a pack of overgrown size teens 'who all needed to get off their lazy asses and get jobs to help with the grocery bills'.

Now the 'Leah noises', as he referred to them, are now gone – absent. The house seems to have been left with a sense of unsettling ease. Or maybe the 'unsettling ease' is because of the amount of imprints around. With the threat the wolves have been overwhelmed with a sudden desire to protect their imprints and leaving them in a localized location seems to help put them at ease. Jacob frowns at the thought of so many imprints all at Leah's place; _she'd not have it_. Well maybe not _all_ of them are so bad. Jacob looks down beside him to see Claire sitting quietly looking through a book. He'd not really acknowledged her presence until now and is mildly impressed at her close proximity to him – all the others have chosen to stay away since he snapped at Nessie even Rachel. Jacob notes Claire's small frame, her tiny hands holding the book in her lap, her black hair neatly plaited in a single braid as she quietly hums herself a tune; a tune Leah would normally hum while she was busy. Jacob frowns trying to remember how old Claire is – Leah always kept him up on these kinds of details. _Eight._

Leah was always partial to Claire never giving her a hard time for being an imprint. Leaning over Jacob takes a look at the book Claire is holding and is surprised to see it's full of pictures – pictures of _them_. One picture in particular grabs his attention; it's a picture of him and Leah sitting on a log together both forever frozen in a moment of carefree laughter. He remembers that day very well because it was for a bonfire, one of many during the summer. It was something that the tourists usually took part in to get a glimpse of a somewhat 'normal celebration' on a reservation. He had brought Nessie along since she was really excited about seeing the fire, eating the hotdogs and hearing some stories. Leah had shown up in a dark green summer dress and her hair in light curls framing her face perfectly. She looked beautiful and he told her so smiling softly as she blushed at the compliment. The two of them sat watching the goings on, talking about anything and nothing special, every once in a while a knee, hand or an arm would brush the other carelessly. Leah didn't seem to think much of the contact but Jacob recalls it making his heart beat faster. The reason why they were suddenly laughing in that one moment was because Paul had walked by making some smart ass comment about Leah's appearance and Leah casually tripped him up. Honestly, neither were expecting Paul to _actually_ lose his balance and tumble like he did and the simple fact that it worked sent them over the edge.

Those were simpler times where the imprint wasn't so all encompassing. Nessie didn't see Jacob as anything other than a big brother and she just his little sister. He was free to interact with his beta however he felt – playing with her hair, bumping her roughly, wrestling, arguing, joking and even hugging her. All of that changed the moment Renesmee came closer of age and she began to _expect_ more of him – more alone time, spending more time at the Cullens, less time patrolling, less time with his friends and most of all _less_ time with his beta.

"Claire, where did you get this from?" Jacob asks pointing at the book finally coming out of his thoughts.

"Aunt Leah." Claire answers looking up at Jacob her eyes wide and surprised as if him talking to her as odd or unusual.

"Leah gave it to you?" Jacob asks feeling a hint of jealousy wash over him. His beta had given this little girl, an imprint, her fiancé-stealing-muffing-making second cousin's niece a gift before she left? Claire slowly nods her head looking some what guilty. "When?" Jacob asks looking at the pictures which appears to be more of a scrapbook with small details written about certain pictures.

"Before she left." Claire whispers softly hanging her head.

"Did – did Leah say good bye to you, Claire?" Jacob asks and Claire quickly nods her head. "You miss her, don't you?"

"I miss her very much." Claire admits. "But Aunt Leah said that if I miss her to just look through this book and it'll make me feel better." She declares proudly her eyes shining. "And…you know what?" Claire asks almost conspiratorially as Jacob responds back with a soft 'what'. "It works. Looking at the pictures helps me remember Aunt Leah and how much fun she was. I hope she'll send me new pictures from her new home."

"New home?" Jacob asks shifting in his seat to sit closer to Claire. "_What_ new home?" Jacob asks his eyes narrowed as he tries to keep his racing heart in check.

"Aunt Leah said she was looking for a new home. A place where'd she," Claire suddenly stops and frowns looking up at Jacob with sad and sorrowful eyes. "You miss Aunt Leah too, don't you?" Claire asks as Jacob nods his head slowly. "I'm sorry. I wasn't supposed to make you sad, Jacob." Claire apologizes confusing him.

"What do you mean?" Jacob asks with a frown.

"Aunt Leah said I wasn't supposed to look at this book when you guys were around. She said it might make you sad or angry." Claire explains gently tracing Leah's face in a picture of the two of them smiling and pointing at the camera. Jacob sighs not knowing how to respond to the little girl's orders. Was Leah expecting them to just forget about her? A part of him, of them _all_, did for a moment but it would never be anything permanent, would it? Did she not want the others talking about her in their presence? Did she leave everyone else with something to remember her by but him? Was she planning on never coming back?

"Do you know where she is?" Jacob asks softly looking down at his hands. Claire looks up from her pictures looking up at the huge man with bright eyes. She's used to seeing Jacob with a smile on his face, always joking and playful. Whenever her Aunt Leah was around Jacob was never too far away whether it was teasing her, joking with her or they were all out arguing. Claire may not know much at the tender age of 8 ½ but she recognizes when someone is missing their friend – like when she misses Quil. Adults are still a mystery to her and the wolves especially so; along with that Nessie girl. So Claire does what she thinks is best to comfort the body next to her; she leans against him shaking her head in response. Claire finds herself soon wrapped up in a tight one-armed embrace as Jacob sighs deeply and all she wishes is for her Aunt Leah to come back and make everyone feel better, to tell them that everything will be alright because she's there to protect them. Aunt Leah protected all of them – by herself. And for that Leah is Claire's hero; so until then she'll try to protect the others as best she can. She'll look out for them and help them not feel sad when thinking about her Aunt Leah.

Jacob isn't sure how long he sits holding Claire wishing the small girl some how still held Leah's scent and presence with her. But eventually he pulls away as the Elders show up which is never a very good sign. Jacob excuses himself as more of the wolves and their imprints make their way into the living room preparing to hear the latest news from the borders, the police courtesy of Charlie and anymore victims from the area hospitals' gossip. Walking into the kitchen he stops hearing the phone ring and without a second thought picks up the phone thinking it to be most likely Nessie. Since his last outburst she's restricted herself to the Cullens' home – and honestly, right now; that's perfectly fine with him. The imprint pull tugs at him every once in a while but it's nothing he can't ignore by focusing on his duties and Leah. "Hello." Jacob greets half-heartedly.

"Uh…yes, hello." A man on the other end greets and Jacob straightens up not recognizing the voice. He has an accent that he can't place right off. "Is Sue Clearwater available?" The man asks sounding nervous.

"May I ask whose calling?" Jacob asks for some reason feeling his patience beginning to wane. For some reason the wolf inside of him is tense and suspicious of this caller.

"Well…is, is this Seth?" The caller asks and Jacob freezes as a small growl escapes his throat.

John had stood debating over whether or not to call Sue and inform her of her daughter's current condition. However, he eventually gave in and dialed the number trying to hide the nervousness and worry that he was certain would be evident in his voice. John found his anxiety quickly disappear the moment a deep masculine voice picked up the other end. He didn't know why or how but something about the man on the other end didn't sit right with him – like he was a threat. John dismissed the thought as completely ridiculous because he didn't know who he was talking to and for all he knew it could be Leah's brother, Seth. The moment his ears caught the low growl his shoulders immediately squared and his nostrils flared. _The Alpha_.

"Who's _asking_?" Jacob asks his grip on the phone tightening his voice sounding tight with forced politeness.

"Is this the Clearwater's residence or not?" John asks after letting out a heavy breath.

"It is. Now answer _my_ question." Jacob demands turning his back to the open doorway to the living room where Sue is sitting.

"If Sue isn't there then I will just call back." John responds back trying to keep his tone even and not let his aggression get the better of him. He recalls Leah talking about how her alpha and the other alpha…_Jacob and Sam_, were very volatile around one another. It had become apparent that two alphas could not co-exist within the same territory without wanting to tear the other to pieces or dominant one another.

"And you're just going to wind up with me again, buddy." Jacob says darkly with a smirk playing on his face. This was the other reason for why the Clearwater home became the base; in case, Leah called he could talk to her. "Look what is this about? Sue is currently busy with tribal matters and whatever message you have _I_ will relay to her."

"I'd feel much more comfortable talking to Ms. Clearwater about the matter." John answers sounding very calm and professional; something about the rival's tense and overly aggressive display putting him at ease. _He's not in control_.

"Is this about Leah?" Jacob growls out sick of playing this polite conversation with a complete stranger – a male, with an accent, asking for _his_ beta's mother. The growl on the other end of the line is what sets Jacob off. "Who the fuck is this? Where is she?" Jacob demands angrily his voice rising as he feels fire shoot up and down his spine rapidly. _Another wolf? Leah's with another pack?_

"Where's her mother?" John snaps back not bothering to hold back his aggression. As far as John is concerned this man is nothing more than just some worthless ass. A man who didn't appreciate what he had in Leah same as the others. Someone who took her for granted and made her feel used, abused and inadequate.

"Don't worry about her fucking mother. _I'm her Alpha_. Now where is _my _Leah?" Jacob demands the alpha tone prominent in his voice no longer fighting back the snarling.

"She's _not yours_." John growls back into the phone becoming angrier and angrier by the other wolf's boldness to lay claim to Leah. "She's part of _my_ pack now. She left _yours_." John adds a dark grin crossing his lips. Jacob chokes, literally, at the bold declaration; it acting as a punch to the gut. Had Leah really left him for another wolf?

"Jacob?" Sue calls walking into the kitchen pushing past the rest of the wolves. The others had quickly filed into the kitchen at the mention of Leah's name all giving the enraged Alpha plenty of space. Jacob's entire body is tense, his focus clearly planted on the wall before him and his body trying to fight back the tremors signaling an impending change.

"I _will_ get her back." Jacob snarls.

"And then what, huh?" John growls menacingly. "Be nice to her for a couple of days before falling back in line behind your _precious imprint_?" John spits angrily. Over the months John has overheard Leah telling the others about the pack in La Push, the imprints and her interactions with them and the guys. It was actually the information about imprinting and the restriction placed on the wolves that eased John's tension and anxiety over a fight breaking out. He knows that they won't risk endangering their imprints for Leah – he's seen Leah's truth.

Jacob feels as a cold shiver shoot down his back at the caller's harsh words. Is what this asshole saying Leah's words? Is that what she thinks? Is that how she felt? Does she really think that he won't do anything and everything to get her back? She's his beta, his friend, his confidante, his partner-in-crime, his balance.

"Listen to me and listen to me good you piece of shit." Jacob growls lowly into the phone. His voice is so soft that only the wolves and the newly arrived half-vampire can hear him.

"No, you listen to me." John interrupts his eyes narrowed and his chest puffed out. "Leah is no longer _any_ of your concern. _She_ is with me now _and_ she is very happy right here." Jacob feels his heart stop beating and restart again pounding so loudly that it drowns out anything else the other alpha is saying. Is Leah _with_ him? Is she happy with him?

There is no doubt in either alpha's mind that if they were face-to-face that they'd be staring each other down. A fight would be inevitable as they both are focused on one single spot before them as if that focal point was their adversary's stare.

John's not sure why now all of a sudden he feels the need to say what he has to Leah's former alpha. He knows how his words could easily be misconstrued to imply a more intimate relationship between the two of them. He's normally not like this – an asshole. The Elders in the Council had mentioned to him trying to develop an intimate bond with the female wolf as such a union would _have_ to lead a stronger bloodline for, if not the next generation, but for future generations. He'd shot the idea down because the thought of bedding Leah for the sake of 'breeding' disgusted him and although he was all for perfect balance between man and spirit that was taking it a bit far. But there was something about Leah that intrigued and drew him towards her; maybe it was the wolf spirit in her or her coy smile that made him feel like a stupid teenager again. All he knew right then in that moment was that he was _not_ going to let any other male, especially another alpha, get too close to her. He would protect her and along with his pack become the family and support she's always needed and deserved for as long as she wanted.

"If you ever really cared about her you never would've let her leave." John states calmly shaking the red haze from his vision. "If Ms. Clearwater wants you to know about Leah then I'm sure she'll let you know who _I_ am and where Leah is." John says and then hangs up.

* * *

A/N: Alright so here goes the next update. Man...this has to be my longest chapter yet. Just to clarify a couple of things the La Push incident happened 2-months after Leah left home. Leah's attack 3-months away from home. I didn't do a good job of proofreading my last chapter and so my order is not chronologically correct - sorry. ^-^ But, hey, at least I updated, right? So sorry if it's super wordy but if you made it this far then YAY! *looks around* Don't tell Fatally-Yours-XD but....you get a high five....*sighs* from me. -_-; I loathe high fives but since I'm in such a great mood I'll allow it.

Awh, shit MY BUFFALO WINGS! BYE AND THANKS FOR READING! REVIEW TOO! =(


	7. Glimpses of the Truth

Glimpses of the Truth

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters but did thoroughly enjoy watching an interview with Taylor from the Twi-con convention in LA. Gawd, to be in LA right now. Le sigh. -_-;**

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John bites back a snarl of pure rage as he tries to calm himself down. He can't believe that this other alpha had the nerve to try to claim Leah as his own. His heart is racing, his blood is pumping and the wolf inside of him is biting to get out and exert its dominance…over something. "John?" John's muscles immediately tense hearing his brother call his name and he is suddenly aware of many bodies present. Did they all just stand there and witness his bout of words with Leah's former alpha? "Calm down, man." Paul says with a nervous frown on his face. Generally, John is the cool, calm and collected one between the twins and for Paul seeing his brother so riled up is a bit unnerving.

"Do you think that was really a good idea?" Ted asks narrowing his eyes at his alpha's back. Ted has learned over the years that sometimes there are certain things that can easily push someone over the edge. Ted, along with the others, has all heard about Leah's pack mates, La Push and the Cullens. They've all had it rough and the way Leah described the troubles, worries and concerns she had about leaving it's obvious to him, Ted at least, how much Leah means to the other wolves. Ted has always kept his distance never really letting many people get too close to him – an attitude that comes with being the only orphan in the entire reservation. Ted found himself alone on his 13th birthday; it was the first birthday without his father who had recently died of kidney cancer. It was just him and his mother but she suddenly up and left leaving him alone with no one else to turn to. Ted was teased and pitied by everyone because his hair-brained pale faced mother had left him alone. So Ted understands Leah's past better than any of the others – he knows that things weren't great and it was mostly because Leah kept trying to push everyone away. But it's obvious that things had gotten better but the only problem was that she didn't feel 'complete' in the situation back in La Push. Although, Ted will never admit it out loud but since joining this pack, this family, he has a feeling of being whole, belonging and he'll always appreciate the guys for letting him in. However, Ted can't get behind John and his attack on the other alpha's desire to know where his beta is.

"Whatever you got to say, Ted, just say it." John growls out through clenched teeth. John doesn't want to take out his frustration and newfound aggression on his pack mates but their presence isn't doing anything to help calm him.

"You shouldn't have provoked him like that." Ted says his muscles tensing as his eyes quickly scan John's body for any sign of a possible attack. Ted has never disagreed with John since joining the pack but this doesn't sit right with him. "He's her – her,"

"What?" John growls out turning around to face Ted catching all present completely off guard. "He's her _what_?" John snaps his eyes narrowed and his fists clenched tight.

"He's her friend." Gio states speaking up for Ted and standing in between the two. John breathes in and out a couple of times trying to control his breathing. John may be the tallest as the alpha but Giovanni was without a doubt the biggest – the enforcer of the pack. "Despite everything that he and the others may have put Leah through she stills consider them to be her friends."

"She doesn't," John starts off but is cut short as he hears the light padding of Leah's feet. Turning around John sees Leah stumble into the kitchen; her eyes heavy with sleep and guilt washes over him. They all look at her concerned etched on their faces hoping that John's outburst hadn't awakened her. Leah's wearing another backless shirt to keep air on her still healing wounds as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes as her tiny shorts aren't even visible underneath the long shirt making her quiet arrival all the more endearing.

"Hey, Leah, sleep well?" Leo greets smiling at the small woman across the room as she grunts her response and pads over towards John. They all watch as she walks up towards John and yawns again as tears begin to pool into the corners of her eyes. All eyes carefully watch John as Leah approaches their edgy alpha fearing his temper at the current moment. Leah, however, seemingly unaware of the heavy tension in the room stops in front of John; her hair in a messy ponytail that is evidence of her slumber, her feet evenly parted to keep her planted to the ground but by the unsteady and small rocking motions it's obvious that she's not so sure footed at the moment. Leah looks ups under heavy lids, her shoulders slumped and her full lips parted slightly in a frown as she stares up at John – it's a look of complete vulnerability.

"I want to go home." Leah mumbles causing all of the wolves to tense. Leah seems completely oblivious of the reaction her words elicit as John turns his back on her staring down at the kitchen floor.

"Okay, Leah. If that's what you want." John says trying to swallow his pride. He had thought that she was happy here with them; sure he had been very stand-offish with her in the beginning. Did she miss her pack? Did she not feel safe around them anymore? But his thoughts are cut short as he feels Leah fall into his back and her arms wrap around his waist and she snuggles into him.

"Let's go home, John. I want to sleep in my room." Leah breathes out and John feels a sense of relief wash over him with her presence and her words. She doesn't want to return to La Push but go back to his place. She thinks this as her home and even though none of them will say it it's a realization that makes them all feel warm.

"Okay, we'll take some of Nadie's medicine with us and go home. Guess you really miss your bed, huh?" John asks chuckling lightly surprising the other wolves with his sudden change in attitude. Leah only nods her head before she falls back to sleep leaning into John's back. Giovanni quickly steps up and gathering Leah in his arms looks at his alpha and beta on what he should do with their 'Little Leah'.

* * *

Jacob stands holding the phone to his ear; the dial tone beeping signaling that the man on the other line has hung up. _He just hung up on me_. Jacob tries to control his anger, surprise, disappointment and jealousy. He's trying to understand what could've happened to Leah that would prompt this man to call her house asking for Sue. So Sue knew where Leah has been all this time? Did Sue even bother to tell Leah what has been going on? Of course she didn't because Leah would've been home as fast as her feet would've carried her. Or maybe this _new_ alpha was preventing her from coming? Maybe he had put an alpha command on her that prevents her from seeing her family.

Jacob stands transfixed staring at the wall finding the only sounds he can hear is the fast beating of his own heart as his blood runs burning hot through his veins and the caller's words playing on a loop in his head. Leah is _his_? Leah belonged to someone else? Deep down inside of him he _knows_ that Leah has never belonged to anyone. The only males allowed to make a claim on her have been her father and her brother. But Leah was _his_ beta.

_Leah is his!_

Sure he had seriously messed up by neglecting her. He should've paid more attention to her but…he didn't want to lose her forever over it. If only she had told him.

_Why? _Then_ what?_

He would've made time for her.

_Really?_

Yes, really.

_Should she have had to tell you? _

No.

"Jacob, what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" Sue demands angrily as she steps forward but is quickly pulled back by Seth. "Let me go, Seth!" Sue yells trying to break her son's grip on her arm. "Jacob Black, you do _not_ answer my phone and begin to just start talking to people just any old way." Sue begins lecturing to the alpha's back.

"Where is she?" Jacob breathes out his head rolling back as he stares up at the ceiling. If Leah is in trouble then he'll find her and bring her back home where she can be safe.

"What?" Sue asks narrowing her eyes. Each of the wolves has asked Sue of the whereabouts of her daughter; Seth continued to ask everyday before heading out on his patrol. She's refused to answer them every single time. Jacob is the only one who hadn't asked her up until this point but all were well aware that he was listening closely whenever the question was asked.

"You heard me." Jacob says shutting his eyes and lowering his head while trying to control his breathing. "Where is Leah?" The wolf inside of him is raving mad. He wants to be unleashed to kill _all _the leeches. The female, _his_ female has left because _he_, the human, was weak. The _human_ has allowed leeches to kill and feed on his land. Has allowed them to create not just one but _two_ more abominations. _And_ on top of that the human has allowed them to imprint, bond their soul to the worst abomination of them all; a leech that can hide in broad daylight. The leech that daily sinks its revolting teeth into their flesh to feast on _them_.

The female left because _he_, the wolf, was even weaker. He couldn't prevent the boy from going against nature and logic by chasing after the small, frail and pale girl – the mother of the child. In order to protect himself from the boy's rash behavior he had to step back and _not_ allow the transformation from man to beast. Maybe if he had allowed the change he could've overpowered the boy's irrational thoughts and fled taking his female with him. She was created for _him_; not for some other male. She was chosen by the spirits out of all the potential females within his territory _she_ was the one; strong enough, fast enough and possessed all the right traits when coupled with his to make the best cubs.

All his rivals before and during the boy's preparation for his female were _forced_ to imprint because of her. The black wolf didn't deserve her and he was given the next best thing – her cousin. But then the others tried to win her affection and had to be taken care of until the boy understood his duty and responsibility.

The female understood and followed him. She had chosen _him_ to follow because it was meant to be _her_ by his side; his partner, his mate, his help-mate.

However, the boy ruined it all. The imprint has only suppressed the wolf; the one who can free them from the pale demon's hold. But the boy's will is and always has been stronger than him. The humans and wolves were both impressed by the seamless transformation from one form to another because it looked as if the two were harmonious; rather it was more like dropping a security door – hard, fast, loud and violent. And now they were paying the price. Their female, alpha female, beta, Leah, Lee is pairing up with another.

"Leah is safe." Sue answers – it's the same answer she's given everyone else who has asked; when she's felt like answering. Sue is perfectly aware of where Leah is and with whom she is staying with. As much as she didn't like the idea of her only daughter staying under the same roof with two males, both wolves, she knew that Leah was out living her life. Leah had found a new pack and it would appear that still being a wolf with a pack is what she'd been missing. This fact still didn't lessen the fact that Sue still felt the need to blame the others for her daughter's desire to leave La Push. They had all fallen for their little imprints and completely forgot about anything that didn't encompass their 'so-called' loves.

Things had seemed promising once Leah broke away from Sam's pack and started hanging out with Jacob's. She was happier and, definitely, smiled more. Sure Leah had a hard time reconnecting with her old friends since they all seemed to want to believe the rumors that she was 'sleeping around with the wild boys' but she did. It later pained Sue to have to sit back and watch as all of Leah's friends from high school were all now married with kids and jobs while she seemed frozen at 19-years old and unable to have kids. Her desire to continue phasing making a romantic social life seem kind of silly especially since any and all potential suitors were easily frightened off just by the sight of Jacob Black.

And that was Sue's problem with Jacob Black. His presence seemed to have some kind of control over her daughter and her life. Despite Leah's protests that they were 'just friends' Sue knew better. Despite having an imprint Jacob was always eager to hang around Leah and have as much physical contact with her as possible. Sue is certain that Jacob thought he was being sneaky at the time but she saw all the times he'd 'accidentally' brush against Leah or the way he'd watch her when he thought no one else was around to notice. Jacob had found some way to keep Leah within the pack and get her to interact with the rest of society but he also found a way to keep the rest of society from interacting with her. Sue's daughter was a bird kept in a gilded cage with clipped wings – all for the mere amusement and pleasure of her alpha. As far as Sue is concerned Jacob Black is no different than Samuel Uley.

Jacob's chest rumbles with a deep growl that has all of the wolves and the one half-vampire slowly and cautiously taking a step back. The anger and aggression rolling off of the huge man before them is overpowering and leaves them with a sense of unease and fear. Unconsciously, the wolves inside them understand their alphas feelings because his worries are their own. The russet wolf's mate is gone – they've failed as a pack to protect and keep her.

_She's gone_. The only conscious thought that collectively runs through both man and wolf's mind. The question is how to get her back? And _will_ she come back?

"Jacob." Billy's voice calls out somehow managing to cut through the man and wolf's jumbled thoughts and feelings. One understanding the meaning behind Leah's transformation and their shared rage over the opportunity lost. The other is confused not fully understanding why the need to challenge this new male is necessary.

She has the right to choose her own path in life _but not a mate – she to belongs to us; me_. Jacob growls at the fast moving and overwhelming thoughts and feelings beginning to emerge within him. He feels the wolf there but is unable to comprehend – or maybe he's refusing to; neither knows.

"Jacob." Billy calls again his voice more stern and commanding. Jacob's unbroken focus on the wall, which should've burst into flames minutes ago, and the deep rumbling growls concern him. Billy has known of Leah's new pack having heard so much about them in casual conversation. As an Elder he's been intrigued by the knowledge of other spirit warriors or skin walkers as they like to refer to themselves. The difference between the two is not only size of the pack but also the leadership. He's not wanted to compare his son to the other but John seems to have a better grasp of how he feels best to run things. He's not sure if the difference is their upbringing, personality, age – nature vs. nurture as he once recall Leah throwing out before she had thought of leaving La Push.

Billy is overcome with a sense of anxiety over his son and his reasons for wanting to step up and take charge of a situation. The first instance, of course, involved the pack split. The reason behind this is because Bella Cullen had somehow managed to get herself pregnant. The creature was eating her from the inside out and breaking her in the process. It was a potential danger that had to be dealt with swiftly. Jacob chose then to become a leader to protect the girl he _thought_ he was in love with.

The next time Jacob had pulled Sam into joining in the fight against the Volturri to protect _his_ imprint. It was a truce called between the two packs but the only reasons Sam agreed was because the amount of vampires coming were triggering more kids to phase _and_ that Leah would be standing along side Jacob.

And now? Now the two packs are combined and his escalated aggression and dominance once again involves a female. Jacob Black's weakness is his interest in the females. Billy expected some anger, some frustration and confusion over Leah's departure from Jacob but _this_ was way out there. Jacob has gone from completely immersing himself into the life of his 'Nessie' to all but completely abandoning it. The fact that the pack is without a second-in-command has not escaped the old Chief's eyes. The amount of frustration Sam exhibits when Jacob makes a decision without consulting anyone is obvious like a giant pink elephant riding a unicycle while juggling bowling balls.

Even if Jacob has spent most of his time over with the Cullens, Billy still knows his son better than anyone else in the room. Jacob has always had great leadership skills however the expectations that were placed on him as the son of the Quileute's' chief made him anxious about eventually stepping up and filling in his father's shoes. It's an idea that's always intimidated him and has made him second guess himself every step along the way. Billy had hoped that once Jacob broke away from Sam's pack that he'd finally realize that he was leadership material and had nothing to worry about. That leading wasn't just about telling people what to do but inspiring people to do what's right and in the process to get the job done.

Jacob's confidence as a leader seemed to grow as eventually Embry and even Quil joined his pack. It took a quite of bit of encouragement from both Billy and Leah to convince him that they didn't follow him just because he was their friend. That there was something inside of him that made them chose him over Sam. Things weren't easy in the newly formed pack because they all had to run more patrols because of their small numbers and for a while hostility was still high between the two rivals.

However, over time Jacob's confidence grew and it was becoming evident in the monthly Council meetings. The wolves were still prone to violent outbursts; mainly Sam, Jacob and Leah but it was getting easier and easier for the three to interact civilly. It seemed that the future of the tribe would be in good hands with Jacob, Leah, Quil and Sam as the future elders. Of course, Sam seemed to always be at odds with Jacob and Leah but it was the different points of views that led to more ideas. Leah had fallen into the role as the next Clearwater elder as she did her role as beta; it just seemed to suit her. Having a purpose calmed her down and although she was not past her harsh outbursts during a discussion she never let her annoyance with Sam cloud her judgment. It was interesting to see a coming together of both old and new world ideas and perspectives into the meetings.

_Leah_. Billy can't help but sigh heavily over the thought that one female wolf in their whole history can cause so much aggression and problems – for lack of a better term. Leah has always been there for Jacob since the split; she was his strong support. Billy couldn't help but regret the fact that the two together would've made a perfect couple. Leah was without a doubt the strong woman behind Jacob Black. However, Jacob wasn't enough for her and she left. Leah's absence was supposed to force Jacob to stand on his own and give them both a newfound independence from one another.

As his son stands before him; every muscle in his body tensed and a low deep rumbling of a growl erupting from his chest – there's regret. Billy now regrets letting Leah leave. The old chief knows that sometimes there are moments in our lives where a sacrifice _must_ be made but is he willing to risk Leah's happiness and freedom for the sake of his own son's sanity? Would her return truly help his son and the rest of the pack? Or will only just be a temporary band-aid that will do nothing for the real wound underneath?

Out in the distance there's the faint sound of a howl cutting through the tension in the small kitchen. "That'll be Eli." Jacob says a bit of the tension releasing from his shoulders. "Let's move." He orders sharply and all the wolves only giving a brief nod head out. There are no good byes or well wishes to the family and imprints as the massive men all file out only throwing wary glances at their alpha on the way out. "When I return I expect an answer to my question of Leah's whereabouts." Jacob states coldly finally turning around to face the Council his focus solely on Sue Clearwater. Jacob's gaze shifts to fall upon the only pale-face in the entire room, his imprint. The look of surprise, fear and confusion on her face stirs a series of emotions deep within the alpha; the wolf finds her fear amusing because it is finally time for her to learn her place in their world while the human wishes to have some sympathy for her…but she's known of his best friend's absence. But he'll deal with her later.

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A/N: Alright…sorry for the delay but this chapter was giving me some trouble and I'm still trying to stick with my original story idea but for some reason things just keep changing and evolving. But after chatting with cucumber07 and messaging hilja I think I've got it! So big THANKS to cucumber07 and hilja for their help in getting my ass in gear to get this chapter out. Also we need to work on Decision because Rachel is just fucking up my plans. T-T Stupid Rachel and her sage advice. Oh well but you all know what to do.

And thanks to everyone for making last chapter my MOST reviewed chapter EVER! T-T You like my story! You really like my story!

And again thanks for all of the reviews and sorry if I didn't respond back. Last week when I had those series of updates I lost track of who I responded to. -_-; But I really do appreciate it and take everything you guys say into consideration. ^o^ It's funny but your reviews, thoughts and ideas get those creative juices flowing and things start to change. But you guys really make my updates better and make me strive to give you nothing but a great chapter to look forward to.


	8. Pleas and Considerations

Pleas and Considerations

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. DAMN YOU BURGER KING! *shakes fists* Do I LOOK like a leech-lover? T-T Stupid Riley and Bree. I can't shake their sparkly asses for nothing. I swear if I find out that manager who REFUSED to give me the Jacob Black glass poster is behind this...I'll...I'll, GRRRRR! So in short, I really REALLY wish I owned a wolf - preferably one of my WILFs. ^-^ Mmmm...WILF-y goodness.**

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The moment that Jacob Black's huge form disappears within the tree line Sue quickly turns glaring darkly at all present. All look back at her with worry, concern, fear and expectation. "I'm not telling him _anything_." Sue snaps narrowing her eyes at Billy.

"Sue." Billy begins with a heavy sigh.

"NO!" Sue shouts at him surprising everyone with her outburst towards their chief. "Listen, Billy," Sue starts pinching the bridge of her nose and placing a hand on her hip, "we _all_ agreed that letting Leah leave was for the best. Not just right for _her_ but right for Jacob too."

"Look at him!" Rachel exclaims a hand waving at the direction the 'protectors' just left in while the other rests over her swollen belly. "If Leah's the only one to bring him back down from wherever the hell is he then so be it." Rachel and Leah were always close growing up and despite college, death, imprinting and infertility the two had managed to remain close. Both women sharing in the simple camaraderie that at one point in their lives they had hopes and dreams that were outside of the tiny reservation; but were now tied down to the town that they had hoped of escaping from some day.

Rachel knew of Leah's anxieties and woes prior to her finally departure. Leah had come over often to talk to her; it was nice having someone to talk to about 'the secret life of wolves', as they coined it, without dealing with the sweet and forever bright outlook of Emily and the other imprints. Rachel can admit, internally, that she's jealous that Leah has managed to break free and is now out somewhere in Canada hanging out with a new pack. Leah contacted her when she first arrived but stopped calling after Paul picked up the phone five times too many.

Maybe it's a small part of Rachel that is jealous of Leah's freedom that wants her to return to La Push. But, the fact that her absence is greatly affecting her brother cannot be overlooked. Rachel would love to blame the pale, bronze-haired, and for lack of a better word, _girl_ standing off to the side for Leah's departure and Jake's breakdown but that is a concern that cannot be expressed out loud. _Only Leah can bad-mouth an imprint_.

"Jacob will _have_ to learn to deal." Sue states coldly whilst shrugging her shoulders.

"That _was_ the point behind letting Leah go." Quil states quietly looking at the two Black family members.

"To watch Jacob slowly…what? Slowly implode and take the rest of the pack with him?" Rachel snaps shaking her head unable to wrap her mind around the idea. "He _refuses_ to choose another beta. Only Leah can hold that position in his head. He won't listen to the others – not Sam, Embry, Quil or even Seth. He runs them all ragged as if he's _punishing_ them." Rachel says as her talks with Paul over the last few weeks begin to just tumble out of her mouth. "Leah's the _only_ one he's ever bothered to listen to, confide in and let tell him what to do." _Bella lost that privilege when she died_.

"Leah's living _her_ life. I'm _not_ going to call her back here so that she can make Jacob _feel_ better about himself. _He_ won't let her leave and she'll be right back at ground zero; stuck here tending to families while _he_ runs off back to the _Cullens_' territory and play 'Benji' for _that_." Sue yells pointing an accusing finger at Renesmee.

Renesmee's eyes widen at the sudden attention that has now been placed upon her. She's tried to keep a very low profile when in La Push knowing better than to trust the smiling red and copper-toned faces directed at her. There's no doubt that she's as much liked in La Push as Leah was at the Cullens. Neither really belonging in that other world and Sue had finally verbally spoken what she knew was true. They all blamed _her_ for Jacob's breakdown; as if saying that if _she_ didn't exist than Jacob would be better off.

"_This_ isn't my fault." Renesmee states suddenly feeling the need to defend herself against the dark eyes staring in her direction.

"Let's not lay blame on anyone." Quil says holding his hands up as if the simple action will stop the momentum of resentment, anger and worry that has been building up since the vampire attacks began.

"It's not _laying_ blame on anyone." Sue states haughtily with a smirk. "It's stating a simple fact."

"And _what_ exactly is the fact?" Renesmee demands her fists clenching tightly. Alice had warned her that coming to La Push was a bad idea; that 'Jacob's not in the…right _mood_ to deal with a whole lot right now' were her exact words. Renesmee had come anyway because Jacob was _her_ imprint and they were supposed to be together – always. It was _her_ job and responsibility to stand beside him in his hour of need and troubles. However, when she finally does arrive she's forced to listen to him _demanding_ to know where another woman is. And _now_, now they were talking about bringing this _other_ woman back to help calm him down. _Leah Clearwater is _not_ the begin all and end all_. No one had even bothered asking her to talk to Jacob, to stand by him and calm him down. What did _Leah Clearwater_ have that _she_ didn't?

"He misses her." Claire says speaking up hugging her book tightly to her chest. "They _all_ miss her." Claire says blushing slightly from the sudden attention. Claire isn't sure exactly what prompted her to speak up; she's, for the most part, has always remained quiet whenever the adults were talking and whenever they yelled she would leave. But now she couldn't just sit back and let them all yell and holler at one another. "Maybe…maybe if he knew Aunt Leah was okay he'd calm down?" Claire says feeling a bit better knowing that she has something of Leah between her and the others – especially the strange pale girl.

"I'm sorry, Claire, but _I_ can't allow that." Sue says softly smiling sweetly at the little girl.

"Why not?" Claire asks with a frown.

"Because neither of them are, uh… _ready_ to see each other so soon." Sue states with a sigh and taking a seat next to Claire. Claire frowns looking up at Sue not fully comprehending the explanation given. To her it seemed as if Jacob was not only 'ready' to see her Aunt Leah but also _needing _to see her more and more everyday.

"I don't get it." Claire admits a confused expression clearly planted on her face. "Jacob misses her…a lot. He _needs_ her." Claire says almost pleading with Sue whose frown only proceeds to deepen.

"HE DOES NOT NEED HER!" Renesmee screams stamping her foot. All eyes turn back to her as she stands her cheeks flushed, fists clenched tightly and her chest heaving. This is ridiculous; the whole situation. _Leah left – she's gone. Good riddance_. Renesmee cannot begin to fathom why the sudden attachment and _need_ for Leah Clearwater is. As far as Renesmee is concerned she's nothing more than a cheap whore who has no qualms with throwing herself at Jacob Black. She was grateful when Leah agreed to follow her wishes that she no longer hug Jacob but that didn't take away from the fact that she was always finding some way to be close to him. "NONE of them need her. _We_," Renesmee states pointing at herself and the other imprints. "We are _all_ that they will ever need." Renesmee cut her eyes at Sue noticing the imprints carefully nodding their heads in agreement. "Now, _I_ will talk to Jacob and will put an end to this foolish 'Leah' mess."

"Good luck with that." Sue states crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

"I don't need it." Renesmee states coolly narrowing her eyes before turning on her heels and storming out of the small house. A silence falls upon the whole house as each person is to their own thoughts; of the wolves, their Alpha, the attacking vampires and Leah.

"You don't think she's going to follow them, do you?" Rachel asks jutting a thumb out at Renesmee's retreating form. All present can only shrug their shoulders – none really concerned for the young girl's safety.

* * *

The last month has failed to bring Abigail any closer to her revenge then she was when they first met 'Big Red'. The wolves continual patrolling made marking the perimeter a tough job. There sheer numbers was daunting and required careful planning and maneuvering. Initially, Chris had mentioned that they could just attack at odd hours of the day but multiple times within the same day – 'supposed to throw them off and wear them out'. That plan proved futile as the wolves seemed to work out a rotation that meant there were different wolves patrolling different areas around the Forks area perpetually. The problem was they couldn't pinpoint where the wolves were coming from, situated or originated. They seemed to be centered within Forks and yet; however, there were still other vampires close by that did not seem to live in fear of the massive beasts. Chris had wanted to meet with the vampires but Abigail's ability told her that it was best not to make their presence known to the others until she had a better understanding of what was really going on.

Any attempts to get to the local library proved futile as the scent of wolves was prevalent everywhere and yet…none could be seen.

_They have a human form but _who_ are they?_

Hearing a piercing howl snaps Abigail out of her thoughts. Chris has yet again tested the boundary of 'Big Red's' territory and the wolves have immediately responded. Standing up Abigail quickly jumps down from pine she's been sitting on and heads towards Chris's location.

* * *

The pack moves with Jacob taking point as Eli relays the latest location of the breach in their territory. The two vampires have definitely been causing more trouble then anyone could've anticipated. Part of the problem for this prolonged _nuisance_ is the simple fact that they can all only go so far thanks to their imprints. Imprints had never really been seen as a hindrance before but that was only because so few of them were actually imprinted. Jacob had thought of simply moving the imprints to catch the leeches off guard but who do you move? And how far out would they take them? On top of that the vampires were actually pretty fast only adding more salt to the wound that was the reminder of Leah's absence.

'_How far within our territory are they?'_ Jacob demands trying to push any thoughts and concerns about Leah away.

'_It's just the male; only about 50-yards.'_ Eli answers and Jacob immediately gives out orders splitting the pack into three. If they can circle around him, boxing him in then that would prevent him from adding another marker to their limitations.

'_You _do_ realize that Sue's not going to tell you where she is, right?'_ Sam breaks in commenting on Jacob's request before he left the Clearwater residence. Jacob chokes back a growl as he huffs.

'_Is she really running with a new pack of wolves?'_ Paul asks and all can feel the frown and concern in his voice. Is she getting along with this new pack? Childishly, some worry is she liking the new wolves more than she liked them? Is she ever coming home?

'_Of course she's coming home.'_ Jacob snaps unable to hold back his anger.

'_He's falling back, Jacob.' _Eli breaks in and Jacob slows down thinking over the report just received. The vampires never fall back until they've shown up; it's been a simple game of cat-and-mouse. _Why fall back?_

'_Do we investigate?'_ Embry asks his attention turned still towards the male's last known position.

'_No…don't._' Jacob answers sitting down while shaking his head. He's not sure why but his instinct or a gut feeling is telling him to leave it alone for the moment.

'_Do we keep on patrolling?'_ Sam asks gruffly as the entire pack moves in surrounding Jacob. There are questions that they all have; most about Leah, some out their imprints and some about the vampires. Currently, all of the subjects seem to be a sensitive spot for Jacob.

'_Not right now.'_ Jacob answers his ears still moving trying to pick up the sound of the vampires.

'_So…what are we going to do?'_ Seth asks with a frustrated growl. Since the realization of Leah's absence Seth has grown more and more aggressive towards his brothers and a bit distant with Amanda, his imprint.

'_We can't catch the leeches because they know we can only go so far.'_ Quil comments before lying down with a heavy grunt.

'_So…what are we supposed to do? Put the girls on our backs and chase them?'_ Brady asks a growl escaping his throat not really liking the idea.

'_We could relocate them temporarily.'_ Collin adds scratching his ear with a mental shrug. Ideas such as this have been bouncing back and forth between the men with no one idea agreed or decided upon by Jacob.

'_Would they go for that?'_ Eli wonders rolling onto his back. _'Bri hates camping.'_

'_It wouldn't be _camping_.'_ Matt adds rolling his eyes.

'_Well…I don't feel right about putting Heidi in danger._' Brad whimpers softly.

'_None of us do but two vengeful leeches hanging around ain't exactly _safe_ either.'_ Paul growls.

Jacob continues sitting and listening to his pack go back and forth some throwing out ideas while others only shoot them down. Jacob can agree that dealing with the vampires is their #1 top priority but then afterwards is a toss up.

Yet, after they deal with the vampires, however, comes a choice between Leah and their imprints. It's not they have to decide between the two but rather how to _handle_ their imprints and Leah's return. It had never been given much thought; Leah and the imprints' interactions over the past years. Leah no longer made snide comments about them or imprinting in general and so the general consensus amongst the wolves was that Leah was 'over it'. But it's starting to seem that things were happening much differently then they realized. The imprints, majority of them, didn't like Leah and did _not_ want her interacting with their wolves.

Embry had admitted to having, secretly, started developing a crush on Leah not too long before he imprinted. They had been hanging out so much and doing little things together that almost fit into the category of 'dating'. After meeting Serena, however, those thoughts and feelings just didn't matter anymore – he was just grateful he never pursued them. Serena was made aware of Embry's 'old' feelings for the only she-wolf in the pack and resented Leah's 'comfort-level' with her man. He had brushed off Serena's comments simply stating that Leah was his friend and had hoped that they'd work themselves out. In a way it did; Leah stopped hanging out with him or rather _he_ started hanging out more with Serena. There was a building theme of the imprints distracting the guys more and more from their pack responsibilities and Leah.

So the issue was getting the imprints over their insecurities involving Leah. But there was more for Jacob that he just couldn't quite place or understand. He _knew_ that Leah _had_ to come back; she belonged with him – with the pack. La Push was her home just as much as the rest of the girls – _hell; she defended it giving her a much stronger claim on it._

'_So what's going on with you and Nessie?'_ Jared asks picking up on Jacob's thoughts. Jacob's imprint has always been up for scrutiny out of all of the wolves. After all, whoever would've thought that a wolf could imprint on a girl that was half his mortal enemy? But as an alpha the gossip was kept to a bare minimum.

'_Nothing.'_ Jacob answers his jaw clenching tight as he tries to swallow his anger and frustration. The last thing he really wants to think about, let alone discuss, is his imprint.

'_Yea, that's happening a lot.'_ Sam comments and begins showing images of Jacob avoiding Renesmee or snapping at her sending the small girl home. Jacob is well aware of his attitude towards Renesmee and the more time he spends away from her the easier it is to stay away from her. _'You shouldn't take your anger out on her.'_ Sam throws in shaking his head sadly. As much as Sam dislikes the Halfling and the Cullens it doesn't change the fact that she _is_ Jacob's imprint – she's his world and,

'She_ and the Cullens knew Leah left.'_ Jacob snaps quickly jumping to his feet and glaring at Sam. _'She _had_ no intention of _ever_ telling me that Leah was gone. She was planning on me just forgetting about her.'_

'_According to Carlisle and Esme – Leah came up with that plan.'_ Seth adds softly letting out a heavy sigh.

'_Well that's something Leah has definitely been good at – planning and running away. I'm going home.'_ Paul snarls as he gets up and starts heading home. Seth wants to attack Paul and maul his ass for his comments about his sister but a small part of him knows it's true. Leah was the fastest and when she planned something out she had every intention of carrying it out.

'_Let's all head home.'_ Jacob says turning to follow Paul.

Once back at the Clearwaters Jacob stands back as the wolves gather their families heading home. He's not taken his eyes off of Sue Clearwater who has in return giving him a deep, stern glare back stating her resolve. A part of him wants to just home and sleep hoping that when he wakes up all of this bull shit will just work itself out and Leah would be heading home. While the other part of him, can't find it to look away from her all because it reminds him of his beta. As Paul and Rachel are the last to leave with a sleeping Walker Jacob pushes himself off the wall that has been post to approach Sue. "I'll stop you right there." Sue says crossing her arms and Jacob finds his chest tightening – he's never noticed how much of Sue's habits Leah has picked up. "I'm _not_ telling you a damn thing, Jacob Black." Sue says matter-of-factly slowly shaking her head and a small smirk on her lips.

Billy lets out a sigh as he rubs the back of his neck looking between his son and Sue. Both of them are stubborn, strong-willed and without a doubt determined. When they make up their mind there's no turning them away from it – however, Jacob's grown used to 'working' out compromises with Sue's younger version.

"Why not?" Jacob asks mimicking Sue's stance with his arms crossed and staring the smaller woman down.

"Simple, it's none of _your_ business." Sue answers. "Leah has decided to go live her life as she sees fit. It just so happens to _not_ include you or _any_ of the others." Sue watches with amusement as her words sink into Jacob's head and his shoulders that were squared, broad and tensed suddenly slump and the look in his eyes, that she's certain has wooed her daughter, seem to dull as his mind wanders.

"Leah was living her life." Jacob says after a few minutes of reflection. Sue was wrong – she was just being bitter because – Leah _was_ living her life; wasn't she? Sure he wasn't there for every moment but…she was happy, content? Something…right?

"No, _you_ were living _your_ life. Leah sacrificed _her_ time just so that you could all continue living within your _precious_ imprints lives. For everyone of you that stopped patrolling Leah was there to pick up the slack. _You_ all ceased being a pack – _she_ kept it up. Well Leah's finished covering for your ass." Sue hisses vehemently finding herself becoming more and more worked up with every moment passed in Jacob's presence. Jacob feels his throat tighten as his eyes narrow at Sue. "Picking Leah as beta _was_, without a doubt, the smartest move you ever made. However, what the _hell_ she saw in you that made her keep back you up I will _never_ know. But _know_ this, Jacob Black. _If _you _ever_ want to see Leah again I _strongly _suggest that you grow up and learn to get your shit together."

Jacob's fists clench tightly as he slowly grits his teeth trying to keep his anger in check. He feels his face and neck begin to heat up but…that's it. There is no heat shooting up and down his spine, his body isn't shaking with his rage and embarrassment. It's as if his body has cut him off. _What the hell?_

"Now, unless you have any _other_ business with me I think it's time you either go home or back to your _Cullens_." Sue says before turning to walk up the stairs not even awaiting a response back.

With a defeated sigh Jacob turns and pushes Jacob towards the door. "You alright, son?" Billy asks looking up at Jacob.

"Do _you_ know where she is?" Jacob asks picking up Billy's chair effortless and carrying it down the stairs. Billy quickly faces forward shaking his head with a sigh. Billy had wanted Sue to tell Jacob where Leah was, selfishly, but he also understood where Sue was coming from. Sue was only protecting her daughter and he could not only respect but understand it. Jacob was his own flesh and blood but Leah had always held a special place in his heart as well. After hearing Sue out he realized that he couldn't back up Jacob on this one and that he'd have to stand by his original decision of letting Leah leave La Push. "Or how about who the _fuck_ that was calling and why?" Jacob pushes his voice rumbling with a growl as Billy eases himself into the Rabbit.

The two lock eyes and Billy can see the anger that was present after the confrontation with John was now back. Sue had used the caller id and learned that John was over his parents' house. To their surprise Leah had been hurt – burned, in fact. The news, although, unsettling that she had suffered 3rd degree burns on her back they found relief in the knowledge that thanks to John's quick response there was no serious damage. She was still recovering and it seemed as if her metabolism had slowed down to allow her body to focus on healing her back. Angela would make sure that Leah called the moment she was back to normal and did apologize profusely to Sue and the two Elders for her son's hand in upsetting their alpha.

Billy is snaps out of his thoughts as Jacob slams the door shut hard and throwing the wheelchair in the trunk proceeds to climb into the tiny vehicle. Starting up for home the two ride in a thick and suffocating silence. Billy knows when his son is brooding and right now he is _stewing_ in his own thoughts of anger, disappointment, hurt…and betrayal?

Jacob's fists tighten around the steering wheel and his nostrils flare thinking back on the entire day. What he knows _is_ that Leah has found another pack of wolves.

_How in the _hell_ do you just so _happen_ to run across a pack of shape shifters? And that mother-fucker _has_ the nerve to claim Leah as his? The fact that _he_ called says something must be wrong. I hope the fucker imprints._

"Jake, he's a," Billy begins but then stops suddenly regretting even opening his mouth as Jacob's head whips around to face him.

"He's what?" Jacob snaps.

"He's a decent guy." Billy begins knowing that he's already said too much when he asked his son was he 'alright'. "He wouldn't make Leah do something against her will." Jacob growls turning his eyes back on the road. "She's fine, Jake. Leah's fine." Billy finishes turning his attention at the passing trees not really knowing whether his words have calmed his son or given him something to think over.

"Is, is she – does _he_ make her happy?" Jacob asks feeling his throat go dry and the wolf inside of him silently whimpers – both fearing the answer. If she's happy with this new male _why_ should she come back to him? To them?

"He can give her something that you all weren't able to." Billy answers hesitantly.

"And that is?" Jacob asks clearing his throat.

"A pack." Billy states. "Leah's not ready to stop being a wolf. Wolves are pack animals and need to be around more wolves. You all had, pretty much, stopped _being_ wolves." The rest of Billy words drown out after that as Jacob's mind begins to try to process what he's heard. He never _stopped_ being a wolf. It was what he was, _who_ he was. If Leah was lonely why didn't she hang –

_Not _this_ round-the-bush bullshit again_. _She left because _you_ started pushing her away, remember? So you could focus on your _precious _imprint. _

So…

_So…you want her back, doncha?_

Of course, I do.

_Why?_

Because she's my…

_Your what? Friend? Friends can come go and like the seasons. Some are meant to be your friends for either a moment or a lifetime. So…either you expect more from her. Or you just _learn_ to let her go. What's it going to be? Fight for her? Or let her go? Either way it means some serious changes and like Sue said 'either you grow up or learn to get your shit together'. You're going to have to _prove_ yourself to her. If Leah doesn't _have_ to stick around a hell hole you and I both know she sure as hell won't._

These thoughts and more continue in Jacob's mind as he argues back and forth with himself. All he knows is that he _wants_ Leah back to stand by his side. However, he doesn't know _how_ to go about achieving that goal. Currently, there's too many factors against him; Sue, Renesmee, imprinting, this _new_ alpha and…something else.

The wolf sits back quietly and patiently waiting for the right moment when he'll be free and if not free; at least a chance to converse with the man.

* * *

A/N: Alright...so there goes the latest update. Sorry if it's so-so but I tried to type this up while at work and can you believe ACTUALLY WORKING. My gawd people we've got a 3-day weekend coming up; just do what I do. Sit around, filing your nails, debating about whether or not to eat 9 mini Snickers and just look absolutely FABU!

Sorry that last chapter I didn't respond back to everyone's reviews. There's been a lot going on here on the home front. But, I know I haven't answered everyone's easy and immediate questions (the exception of course being LeahxJacob or LeahxJohn) but will look deeper into JacobxRenesmee relationship soon. I still don't like vampires but Abigail and John keep trying to change things. *shakes my fist harder than before* STAY OUTTA MY HEAD! o.O? Uh...wait...that didn't sound...right? Sane? T-T See what vampires do to me? John just makes me hot but he's a wolf and that's excusable. LOL.

But you all work that little magic that you all do so well by clicking that magic green button and tell me what you think about the update, the story, and questions that you may have.

Anyway...I DID see the midnight show of Eclipse and here is my review...well, actually, it's my _response _to someone else's review about it's lack of emotion, poor CGI, sexuality and the directing. Btw, don't freak out because there's really not much of a spoiler unless you want to be absa-total-fuckin-lutely surprised about who the heavy hitters or bitters are during the Newborn War.

I completely understand where the review is coming from. When you look back on previous vampire movies especially 'Interview With A Vampire' that sensuality that makes vampires so desirable and irresistible is lost with the Twilight series. And the reason for the lacking sensuality is because the author, herself, is highly religious and throws in her own religious undertones through Edward Cullen and NOT Bella, the heroine.

I was expecting more from David Slade in regards to the battle and, silly me, thought they must've had a smaller budget in regards to CGI. Super-imposed wolves - that's a given. But they were really only three main wolves doing most of the fighting; Leah (light silver wolf), Paul (dark silver wolf) and Jacob (red wolf). As a wolf girl I was sorely disappointed in the lack of the wolves - whether human or wolf form altogether BUT this is a story focused around Bella and it's obvious through the movie who her main concern and attention is really going to - the vampires.

Emotionally, it was lacking because the LeahxSamxEmily triangle was only touched on a bit. The hurt that Leah felt during the bonfire was completely ignored and that was because Sam and Emily weren't even there. I mean what happened to them? Was there just too many people to fit into the frame?

Outside of the lacking in wolves and the emotions - whether vampire or wolf I still think it was a good movie. They touched on the main points of the book in that Bella is dodging agreeing to marry Edward - her reason never really seen clearly; whether it's because of her own parents' failed marriage or that she is tired of Edwards late 19th century morals. That Bella FEELS compelled to only save/protect those that matter to her at the current moment by grossly over reacting and crossing into lunacy to get what she wants; i.e., smearing blood on the trees, kissing Jacob and slitting her arm.

Twilight is a good book series - I can admit not the greatest work of literature I've come across but it's something; and that's only because NOTHING will ever top Alexandre Dumas's The Count of Monte Cristo. It cannot be overlooked that it was written for teens and the adults going in expecting a mature and serious romance will find themselves deeply disappointed. The books and movies should be taken for what they are; a teen romance that is complicated by confusion, desires, morals, preservation and myths/legends.


	9. Belonging and Yearning Pt 1

Belonging and Yearning Pt. 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. If I did, I seriously doubt my week would've been so hectic...or at least it'd be hectic in a good way. Meeting fans, reading their reviews and fanfics to see what I should write about next...instead of picking such a small and worthless character that only a blip of vampire life - nothing worth mentioning. But that's just me.

* * *

**

Renesmee sits on the white couch within the Cullen's living room, her thin arms crossed tightly across her chest, legs crossed, as well, bouncing irritably. It's been days since she last went to La Push and still had yet to talk to Jacob about his behavior and attitude. She was on her way to catch up with the pack when her parents showed up ordering her home. Alice must've seen something that had put them on high alert; but none of that mattered to Renesmee, she _needed_ to talk to Jacob. Renesmee had hoped that her mother would've been able to give her some _insight_ into how to best approach Jacob, considering how at one point, he was in love with her. The blank stare and the deep frown had only proven to Renesmee that her mother really never knew much about Jacob Black; that it was really _Jacob_ who knew everything about Bella. And much to Renesmee's annoyance, it was her Aunt Rosalie who threw out, "If you want to learn the best way to deal with Jacob Black, Leah is your best bet."

The comment sent Renesmee into a tantrum so volatile and ridiculous that she surprised not only herself, but her family as well. Renesmee was never one for throwing tantrums, losing her temper or acting anything other than 'proper'. That's not how she was raised; then again, in her own defense, she's also gotten _everything_ she asked for. 'No' was _not_ a part of Renesmee's vocabulary and it wasn't a word directed at her too often. She didn't need to go to high school like the rest of her family members _felt_ like they needed to. She had Jacob and that was all the 'friend' that she needed; and Seth was there too for a while up until he imprinted. Renesmee could continue to live a secluded life from the world as long as she had Jacob with her; and that was the plan up until Leah decided to play her little mind games. Renesmee has convinced herself that Leah has done _all_ of this just to gain the attention of the wolves – phase one; successful. However, Leah's continued act of refusing to contact any of the wolves has thrown a wrench into Renesmee's idea about Leah. If she didn't do all of this as some form of getting Jacob's attention, then why?

"Leah, actually, wants to live her life." Edward answers, reading his daughter's thoughts. Edward has remained silent on this whole matter, opting to let his daughter try and work all of this out for herself. As much as he'd love to help her every step of the way, he knows that she'll never learn anything. And after her Leah tantrum, he's seen just how spoiled she's become. Renesmee fixes her father with a cold, hard glare that makes him question, for a moment, if this is truly _his_ daughter. It's a very un-Bella like look.

"Then why is everyone reacting so?" Renesmee questions while arching one eyebrow.

"They miss her, Nessie." Edward answers matter-of-factly. "Leah was a member of their family, pack and has always played a part in all of their lives." Renesmee listens as the rest of the Cullens glide into the room. They, obviously, feel that now is the time for them to weigh in on the La Push-Leah situation.

"Before there were you or, even, Bella," Rosalie says leaning against the wall, staring at her niece. "There was Leah."

"Leah has a much stronger history with _all_ of the wolves, compared to you." Edward finishes.

"I get the whole Sam, Leah and Emily thing." Renesmee says dismissively. "Seth and Leah are siblings. Jared and Leah took the same classes. Leah was a tutor for most of the younger wolves. I _get_ all of that." Renesmee says her eyes narrowing. "But _what_ does that have to do with Leah and Jacob?"

"Leah and Jacob have grown up together." Bella whispers softly, her eyes looking down at the marble floor in guilt. Bella had never bothered to pay any attention to Jacob's relationships with anyone. Sure she was aware that Embry and Quil were his best friends and that Seth looked up to him. But that was prior to her agreeing to marry Edward. _After_ marrying Edward, she really didn't care about his position within the pack, how his actions involving _her_ were affecting his family and friends. At the time, all she cared about was having him by her side. She _needed_ him during her pregnancy and she got what she wanted. After she was turned and learned that her child was safe, he was no longer needed. Leah had accused her of 'using Jacob for your own selfish needs' and she was right. Sadly, it's taken all this time for Bella to see the light. If she hadn't _insisted_ on Jacob staying by her side, then he would've most likely never imprinted, the Cullens would've long since moved on and Jacob would be happier. Bella had spent a great part of her time with Jacob trying to get him to see that it was _her_ choice to become a vampire and be with Edward. In turn, she had, inadvertently, taken away Jacob's choice to choose his own love.

"So?" Renesmee hisses and Bella looks up at her daughter surprised.

"Leah wasn't meant to be with him. _I_ was, he belongs to me and is supposed to _do_ whatever _I_ want and _be_ whatever _I_ want him to be." Renesmee states while giving her family a smug smile. "That's what Jacob told me." Although the Cullens make look like the perfect on the outside, deep down inside, they all don't always get along. The couples fight and argue, the siblings fight and argue and even parents and children fight. Renesmee has something that none of them ever could – a perfect significant other. Jacob was, basically, her lap dog to forever be at her beck and call. Its how the imprint worked and it's not as if _she_ was the only one to see it. The rest of the imprints did and took full advantage of the 'imprint pull' over their wolves. The girls were never denied anything and each wolf would, literally, bend over backwards to make sure his imprint had whatever she desired.

"That's a horrible view to have about _any_ relationship." Edward comments seriously. His topaz eyes fixed on his daughter along with a disappointed frown. Was this really how the wolves were being treated by their imprints? Were they simply catering to a bunch of girls who had become spoiled, demanding witches? "Love isn't about getting _everything_ you want out of life." Edward states coldly.

"Really? Are you sure of that, Father?" Renesmee asks coolly with a dark smirk. "Mother seems to have gotten everything she wanted thanks to you and Jacob's _love_." The statement acts like a bolt of lightning down Bella's spine. She hadn't been aware that Renesmee knew so much about her history with the two men. "Mom not only got to become a vampire, but she had me – a child. She even got to keep her _entire_ family; Jacob made sure that she didn't have to say good bye to Grandpa Charlie. She didn't even have to say good-bye to Jacob since he imprinted on me. Don't stand there and tell me that love is about sacrifice, _Daddy_." Renesmee sneers causing Edward's nostrils to flare. "Because none of you sacrificed _anything_ to get the love you have now."

"Renesmee," Esme calls out, surprised by her granddaughter's words.

"Now, if you all don't mind, I'm going to go see _my_ Jacob and get all of this foolishness back in order. Leah's gone – end of story. I hope she never comes back and, in fact, I think it's time that we all move on. We've stayed in Forks long enough and I'm informing Jacob that he is coming with." The Cullens watch silently as Renesmee gets up from the couch and confidently walks out the front door heading towards La Push.

"Do we know where Leah is?" Emmett asks once Renesmee is out of sight and into the trees.

"I'm sure we can track her down, why?" Jasper asks with a somber frown.

"I owe her a cool 50k." Emmett admits with a defeated sigh as he hangs and shakes his head.

"What for?" Bella asks with a confused frown.

"After Renesmee was born and Leah found out that Jacob had imprinted on her. Leah said that 'the spawn is going to grow up a spoiled princess'. She was right and I always pay my debts." Emmett lets a weak smile grace his lips at the small joke. However, the rest of the Cullens do not see the humor in Emmett's bet; let alone that he actually lost. It would seem that Leah was right about a lot of things and imprinting was one of them.

* * *

She tosses and turns while in a deep slumber; her brow scrunching, muscles tensing and a soft whimper escapes her parted lips. Maybe she's in distress, upset, frightened? Either way, whatever it is, it causes sweat to build on her brow, her chest, arms and legs. She curls into a tight ball, hugging her body tightly as if trying to compensate for something lost? For a moment, she relaxes, a content sigh escaping her lips and her tensing muscles slow their maddened and erratic movements.

All is quiet, at rest and peaceful.

Time passes; whether it's seconds, minutes or hours is unknown. The night terror begins again and she is in distress. No longer able to stand against the demon that is tormenting her, she awakens; quickly sitting up in bed, she gasps for air. Eyes wide, pupils dilated and trying to hold back a bout of tears, Leah looks around her room, the light green walls, the cluttered bookshelves, equally cluttered closet and a humming box fan. She shivers for a moment trying to shake the fear, or whatever the feeling is, off and slowly gets up from her bed.

She heads out her door, down the hall and to the last bedroom at the end. She rubs her eyes for a moment, standing just within the door frame, feeling sleep beginning to overtake her once again. Her mind and body both are exhausted but seeing as how she doesn't seem to recall the dream, her brain is winning out in the need for rest. A yawn escapes her but it is quickly followed up with a deep frown to find her mother's bed empty. There is a moment of disappointment followed by confusion and then acceptance. She isn't sure where her mother is, when she needs her, but she could be at work or at Charlie's, Billy's a good candidate. Looking over at the clock on the nightstand, 'work' is whispered into the tiny room and quickly swallowed up by the darkness.

Turning around she pads down the hall to the next room. Her usually light steps are replaced with slow and heavy dragging of feet, sure sign of exhaustion. The door is closed and there is a 'Keep Out' sign, set at eye level, which does nothing to deter her. Opening the door, she stands, again, for a moment trying to take stock of the situation before her. Body wavering in the soft moonlight as she makes out the outline of her brother lying in his bed, snoring. There's a moment of hesitation in her eyes, debating over whether or not to sleep with her brother, but a cold and ominous shiver pushes her onward.

Not stopping once to assess the proper sleeping arrangement, she climbs over to the other side of the bed, squeezing in between her brother and the wall. He snorts for a moment before pulling his leg and arm away, as if making room for his sister, and she immediately relaxes. She lets out a huge, opened-mouth yawn letting a few sleepy tears fall before she falls asleep. The combined warmth of her brother's body and the cool wall behind her seems to offer the perfect combination as she begins to snore lightly.

During their slumber, both siblings roll onto their stomachs and at one point are sharing a pillow. A combination of both their canis lupus and sibling traits easily coming out as their heads are together and both frown, simultaneously, as if sharing dreams. Her distress begins again and unconsciously her brother reaches out for her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. The act, temporarily, brings relief as the whimper becomes a light snore again.

Shooting up in bed, she bites back a scream, howl or some combination of the two, succeeding in startling her brother. He sits up, turning around to face his sister and watches with worried and frightened eyes as she bites down on the palm of her hand drawing blood. The fresh and metallic smell of his sister's blood assaults his nostrils, awakening his mind to the real seriousness of the situation at hand.

"Leah?" Seth calls. Her body is tensed, her breathing ragged and hoarse even behind her hand and a sob or whimper is being held back. Seth reaches out for his sister, pulling her close to his chest and begins stroking her hair and whispering soft, soothing words to her. "What is it? What's wrong?" He asks, heart racing, blood running freezing cold throughout his body; he can only imagine how _she_ must feel.

She shakes her head and hugs him even tighter; it's the same response every time she is asked. She doesn't know what the dream is about, what frightens her and why she wakes up in such a state. All she knows is that her body and spirit reacts to it while her mind remains untouched; only her questions brings distress to her mind. The two siblings try to sleep again after she has calmed down and yet again, she awakens trying to fight back tears and screams.

"Lee," Seth calls as Leah gets up, breaking free of his embrace and heads towards the door. She only pauses for a moment, looking back over her shoulder with weary and guilt-ridden eyes. She never meant to cause her brother such distress; he needs to sleep as much as she does and she's done robbing him of it. 'Sorry' escapes her lips and she's gone. Seth bites back a growl of annoyance, frustration and disappointment. He doesn't understand what is going on and why _he_ isn't enough for her; why she feels some pull to go to another for comfort. All the Clearwater children have are one another, despite the pack, the family and friends; they understand one another better than any man or woman ever could. Laying down he resigns himself to address the issue, during the daylight, after she's gotten plenty of rest; he won't let her fall for just anyone.

The walk to her destination is long, longer than usual. She chalks this up to her exhaustion and as she nears closer and closer, she slows down and her mind softly berates her. There is a battle between mind and body; mind telling her to go home, drink some warm milk or maybe a cocktail mix of every hard liquor in the house and her body telling her to continue on for comfort and a good night's sleep. Both are promising that she'll not be disappointed with the end result, if only she'll follow through.

Breaking through the trees, the small red house is straight ahead and her mind, in one last ditch vain attempt, tells her, 'he's probably not even here'. Slowly the thought is pushed aside and silenced as she pads on and without hesitation, walks in through the door that is never locked. With the practiced steps of one who's been here before, she walks straight to his room and opens the door. Her body is screaming for rest as she fights to keep her eyes open and blindly walks towards the bed. Again, she climbs over the body of the sleeping body and wedges herself between hot body and cold wall. There isn't a snort or a shifting to make room for her and she doesn't care.

The moment her body is over its obstacle there are warm arms and a soft groan as she's pulled into a massive body. His heart races for a moment but calms the moment their chests touch. He buries his nose into her hair, inhaling deeply and tangles up their legs, pulling her unbelievably closer.

"Nightmare, again." Jacob states more so than questions. Leah softly responds back with a grunt before sighing contently.

They've both have been experiencing the same nightly terrors; neither able to recall what about or why but both knowing that comfort and peace comes in the form of each other's arms. To some it would look like an unconscious pull to one another, love in its truest form, showing a need for one another that no one else can feel. It's only explained as a basic alpha-beta relationship; simple proof of their bond as friends, team mates, partners. It's love in its simplest and most innocent of forms. For the two caught in the embrace its innocent and of a familial love while for the some there's a fear of what could happen.

* * *

It becomes an out-of-body experience for Jacob or like some half-remembered drunken dream of moments lost. He and Leah wrapped up in the most intimate of embraces and he can't find it in himself to see anything wrong with it. There is the smile upon his lips that shows his contentment and happiness over Leah's presence; he remembers missing her when he awoke from his dream. There was disappointment and frustration when he became aware that _she_ wasn't lying in bed beside him. The feeling soon replaced with worry and fear that she didn't have the dream and wouldn't come to him. He'd go to her if there wasn't some other force telling him to stay put or maybe it's his brain telling him to not go because of her brother.

Now that he's holding her, everything is alright and the woman molded to his body is the reason. He watches jealously as, what should be _his_, hands gently caress and follow the soft curves of her body. Calloused hands slip underneath the loose fitting tee and soothing patterns are drawn on her heated flesh. She's fallen asleep within his embrace and goose bumps break out over his chest wherever her breath touches. Her legs shift, in her sleep, gently brushing her calves against his building up a friction that leaves him breathless. His lips touches the top of her head lightly as she sighs happily and he feels her soft lips, placing light butterfly kisses, as she mumbles something. Leaning back he looks down at his beta and words are mumbled back to her, in old Quileute, that Jacob doesn't even recall ever learning.

Slowly, Leah's eyes flutter open and more soft old Quileute words are spoken to her. Jacob struggles to understand and grasp the concept of what is going on. His body is in control and there is nothing he can do about it; he's torn between what he _knows_ is right and what he _feels_ is right. He has an imprint, a soul mate, who is sleeping soundly in her bed as he lays with another woman, his best friend, gently caressing her and selfishly loving the moment. He shouldn't want another and yet, nothing in his body or spirit is disagreeing with what is transpiring; in fact, they seemed to be encouraging it. Any thoughts or worries for his imprint are quickly forgotten as a kiss is placed on her forehead; it's soft, slow and loving. Then another is placed on each eye, followed by her nose, her cheeks and finally her lips.

Each kiss is welcomed with a soft moan and when their lips finally meet, it's accepted and greeted with a kiss back. Jacob watches on as _his_ body and Leah share soft, sweet, intimate and loving kisses, caresses and words. It's like looking at the moment through a tunnel, that forgotten moment in time that he wishes, desperately, to have again. To be able to remember Leah's touch, the feel of her fingertips lightly grazing his shoulders, the softness of her lips as they easily covered his own and most of all, remember what they said to one another. The words seem to have some magic to them, there's a hint of a calling and quiet celebration to them, that makes him feel warm, whole, complete and balanced.

Slowly before his eyes, the scene changes or rather _he_ changes. The deep russet-colored skin is replaced with a lighter, almost olive-colored complexion, matching Leah's. The hair grows longer, the eyes change and Jacob looks on with growing frustration and anger as _he_ is completely replaced with another. There's now some other man holding, hugging, kissing and caressing Leah. What were once soft, incoherent words of affection are now audible and involve promises of love and lust.

"We're slowly losing her." Jacob flinches as he looks over, wondering for a moment when he gained a head which is an even odder thought, as he sees his own body standing next to him. There are some slight variations from his own body and the one he's looking at now; for some reason, this new Jacob is taller than he is and that says a lot. His eyes carry a bit of wisdom and insight to them that Jacob knows he is years away from ever achieving. The presence about this 'other' Jacob is proud, strong, confident, powerful and yet…light.

"Who are you?" Jacob asks and notices his own voice sounding lighter, lacking the deep bass he's grown used to. Looking down at himself, Jacob sees the muscle-mass gone, his hands and arms covered in scars that were supposed to have healed years ago, and his short-hair replaced with the long hair of his youth; he's a teen again.

"I'm 'you' or what you once were, could've been…maybe _might_ still become." The obvious Alpha speaks. There's a bit of disgust and disappointment in the Alpha's eyes when he looks at the boy before him. The 'look' makes Jacob blush and suddenly feel self-conscious and inadequate; Leah's soft moans and gasps only adding to his feelings of lacking.

"Is that _him_?" Jacob demands as he tries to tap into the wolf anger. He can't make out the man's facial features to be able to pick him out in a crowd. There is anger but the shifter's violent trembling is gone.

"Yea, it's _him_." Alpha responds voicing Jacob's own anger, jealousy and aggression. "Lucky bastard."

"Are they doing this _now_?" Jacob asks and feels sick to his stomach. He knows that this is a dream. That his mind is subconsciously replaying one of his moments with Leah that he's been craving; desperately trying to remember. This manifestation of himself into two entities is just a surreal explanation of the dueling thoughts inside of him; they are slowly coming together. One is weakening just enough for the other to come forward…maybe?

"You're a bright kid, I'll give you that." Alpha chuckles as there is a wild and, almost, feral rumbling to it. "You sell yourself short though." Jacob looks up at the Alpha, the words hitting a nerve, as he recalls hearing that exact statement many times throughout his life. "Lee told you that too, once." There's softness to his voice when her name passes his lips and the scene changes; Leah and the other alpha are gone. "You need to wake up, kid, and soon. I'll do my best to buy you some time but, unfortunately, I can't make any promises."

"Best to do what?" Jacob asks curiously; although deep down inside he already knows what, or rather, _whom_ they are talking about.

"Leah. You just keep fucking it up for everyone." Alpha snarls venomously. The dark and angry look in his eyes makes Jacob back pedal away from him. "_Our_ bond still holds but it's weakening the longer we're apart and the more time she spends with _him_." There's venom and an unspoken string of curses on the word 'him'.

Jacob can only nod his head, only partially understanding everything that is going on right at the moment. It all seems to make sense, as if he's awakening from a deep slumber and seeing the world for the first time. Alpha looks down at the man-boy before him and is uncertain of what to make of him. Their lives and souls are bonded and it's not as if he can just up and leave, finding a better candidate. This is the last chance he is going to allow before he just pulls the plug on the whole thing.

"You're going to have to seek me out and I'll tell you more." Alpha states as he slowly turns and walks away. An interruption is coming and even _he_ is uncertain what will be the end result if he's let loose too soon. There's only so much a spirit can do for its host. His female seemed to always find a way to manipulate her host using her emotions; although they were, at times, stronger than anyone could've anticipated. She finally grew tired of waiting around for him to gain control of the boy and just left. He is unsure of whether or not our soul is just necessarily attached or _attracted_ to shape shifting males, alphas in particular, or if she's simply going with the flow? He can only hope that she – they'll come back to them.

Jacob slowly awakens from his weird dream, only vaguely aware of what has happened and is only certain that he misses his beta. Sitting up, he lets a deep and rumbling growl after picking up the scent of a Cullen. There is only _one_, maybe two, of the Cullens _stupid_ enough to come onto his territory _despite_ the clear warning. Then again, Leah did always tell him that he sucked at making threats. "You need to _stop_ making threats and start making _promises_. Then they'll respect you more. Follow through." He recalls her snarling out while they were running a quick patrol. There had been some vampires on their lands; the wolves had rounded them up, the Cullens had play diplomats and allowed them to go. The vampires then returned three more times to kill some innocent nearby. Leah had wanted to finish it and do what they were _created_ for – decapitate the fuckers and watch them burn. He had only taken stock of her words and commented about how vicious and violent she could be – it was a turn on.

Getting out of bed, Jacob silently wishes that Leah was here so that he could tell her that or, better yet, _show_ her. As odd as it may seem, Jacob having morning wood doesn't occur often nor do his thoughts usually drift to the more carnal side of life. Despite the fact that Sam, Jared, Paul and eventually the others shared in some physical attraction to their imprints, Quil excluded, he couldn't do it. Renesmee never held any sort of physical desire for her and romantically…that was an uphill battle. Jacob had tried to give into Renesmee's request for a more intimate relationship between them. He _had_ tried kissing her but the moment her lips touched his, he pulled back and just felt dirty.

A deep groan escapes Jacob's lips as he remembers the last time they tried. Walking into the living room, he's mildly pleased that his hard-on is gone as he finds Renesmee sitting prime and proper in _Leah's_ chair. He freezes realizing Renesmee's sitting arrangement and his eyes soften for a moment, she might not ever come back. Leah's scent is now long gone from the chair to the point that Renesmee is unfazed by it or maybe it's a challenge against the older woman?

"Renesmee," Jacob growls out. Crossing his arms, he glares down at the small woman before him. He'll not tolerate her disrespect of him, his pack or _his_ beta. "Get up." Renesmee's eyes widen in surprise at the cold, hard and stern tone in his voice.

"And why, _exactly_, would I do that?" Renesmee asks sitting back into the huge recliner. She smiles smugly as she snuggles into the cushion; she damn well knows who chair this belongs to and she doesn't care. Leah left and it's time that _her_ Jacob realizes it.

"Get. Up." Jacob seethes through gritted teeth, feeling heat shoot up and down his spine. Leah was right, has always been right. The Cullens have never taken him seriously because from the moment he defected from Sam's pack and started his own, all for the purpose of protecting Bella, _he_ became their dog. He threw his family, friends and heritage away all for a woman who would never love him and only _used_ him. To add more insult to injury, he imprinted on her daughter meaning that a life of freedom was gone from him.

He doubted his ability to lead his pack because of his attachment to the Cullens. Deep down inside, Jacob has always known that his imprinting on a half-vampire was wrong. It didn't make any sense. Vampires were immortal, opportunistic, vain, selfish and became easily attached to things and habits. He was bonded to a coven of vampires that would never release his imprint to live with him on the Rez to carry on his family's lineage. She would live forever and he would be forced to do the same. He never wanted to live forever but why was that his fate?

"Listen, Jacob," Renesmee begins taking in a deep breath. She chooses to ignore the violent twitch of the muscles in his broad shoulders. Letting out a sigh, she crosses her legs, rests her elbows on the arms of the chair and lightly weaves her fingers together. Jacob's upper lip pulls back into a sneer for a second before falling; she's trying to look like her grandfather. Too bad for her, he's not buying her shit, at least not anymore. "We've stayed here long enough. It's time for us to move on and especially _you_." Renesmee says looking up at Jacob with soft eyes. "Leah has moved on with life," She closes her eyes in disgust when she catches the pain in his. "There was nothing _here_ for her, same as there's nothing here for you."

The words hit Jacob like a huge 18-wheeler semi going at full speed; it's not what Renesmee has said about him or his home, it's about Leah. He's only wanted Leah to be happy; selfishly he felt certain that she was happy, here, at home – with him. The idea of her moving on and adding the dream he's just woken up from with that _bastard_ holding and loving her – it sickens him.

Renesmee continues on with her speech, completely oblivious to her wolf's tense stance, the low and angry rumblings of the wolf inside of him and the telling breaking and resetting of bones. Jacob's ears are pounding with the frantic beating of his heart and rushing of his heated blood through his veins. The image replaying in his mind of some other man, another _wolf_, holding _his_ Lee; the image is infuriating him to the point of a blind rage. He's spent so much time _trying_ to keep potential suitors _away_ from her and _this_ happens! And at this realization of his hand in Leah's possibly desire to leave, the anger is gone.

A small understanding hits him of Sue's aggression and anger towards him. Why the Elders and even, maybe, the Cullens have kept her leaving a secret for so long. He held her back, she stayed back because of him; they loved each other once – well, he _still_ loves her. Does she still love him? He's wanted to keep Leah for himself and never did anything to ensure that she had the same claim on him.

There is a nagging question, it's like a worm wiggling around in the back of his brain; _why_? Why is he suddenly becoming aware of this? Has he always felt this way for Leah? Was it always this strong? How is it possible? And why did he imprint if his wolf, his spirit, has made it clear that _he_ chooses Leah?

Sitting down, Jacob pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to wrap his mind around all of the questions, thoughts, ideas and theories. Everything is coming upon him all at once and it's too much for him to handle. Leah was better at piecing information together than he was; he's certain that she'd understand all of this better than he would.

"So I know that this is a lot for you to take in but I believe that this will all be for the best, in the end." Looking up, Jacob suddenly becomes aware that Renesmee has _still_ been talking to him all this time. A twinge of disappointment touches him seeing that his imprint isn't even in tuned with her own wolf. Leah would've recognized his anger, frustration and confusion; she would've tended to him or at least asked 'what's the hell wrong with you?' A frown graces his lips as Renesmee continues prattling on and seeing as she now has Jacob's full attention becomes filled with a sense of accomplishment.

_Does she even _know_ me_?

_Does she even care?_

_Why _her?

These questions and more run through Jacob's mind as he stares at his imprint, trying to make sense of the last six years of his life and everything that has led him to this point. Jacob finds himself looking at Renesmee, as if for the first time ever, seeing a young woman with an unnatural beauty. Her skin so pale, that if he sits and stares at one spot long enough, that her blue and purple veins are visible to his heightened eye sight. Her small, thin lips are a deep red and his eyes narrow, for a second, thinking if she's been drinking blood more and more? Her hands are small, tiny, fragile, well-manicured and look soft; a sign that she's never done a bit of work in her entire life. Renesmee is a spoiled brat, convinced that everything is to be handed to her on a gold platter with the matching utensils. She has no _real_ interest in life outside of her coven. _He's_ had a hand in turning his sweet Nessie into this creature…or has he?

Standing up, Jacob turns and heads for the door leaving a surprised Renesmee behind.

"Where are you going, Jacob? We're leaving."

"No, no _I'm_ not." Jacob answers her only shaking his head, not even bothering to turn around and face her. He wants to argue with her about why it's suddenly so important that the Cullens leave Forks, especially when his pack and home needs him the most. However, there's that small, deep voice inside of him, encouraging him to leave her behind, to continue on keeping as much distance and time between them. Besides, he's got some questions that need answering. "Listen to me and listen to me _good_, Renesmee." Jacob states coldly. Renesmee tilts her head to the side, eyes narrowed and lips pursed together in a small pout. Jacob looks back at her over his shoulder and takes in a deep breath. "I don't want you on _my_ land, any longer. I'm going to tell the pack, _my_ pack, to kill a _leech_ and _half-_leech on sight." Renesmee can't help the surprised gasp that escapes her mouth as Jacob turns around to face her. His words falling out in a cold, harsh and vengeful tone; she's seen this look before but never on him. It's a look that Leah Clearwater has yielded effortlessly. However, it's not the words that Jacob says, that have shocked her so much; it's the _promise_ behind them. A part of her _wants_ to argue with Jacob, reason with him, tell him that he's being silly and overreacting. That this is all just some big mistake, a misunderstanding and that it's _Leah's_ fault. But her pleas and over confident rhetoric will fall on deaf ears because the man standing before her isn't _her_ Jacob, not anymore.

"Ja," Renesmee begins but is cut off with a menacing and threatening growl.

"And it's not a threat, a suggestion or a request. It's a promise _and_ a command." Jacob finishes up as he clenches and unclenches his fists, trying to fight the urge to kill the girl on spot. La Push already has enough problems without pissing off another coven of vengeful vampires. "Now I strongly suggest you leave – immediately." And with that Jacob walks out the door, making a beeline for the trees, preparing to get some answers to his questions.

* * *

A/N: Alright, so I finally got around to updating. This is definitely NOT the original chapter idea that I had. It was about Leah and John but, damnit, if Jacob isn't determined to try and push John out of my mind. Now, if only their fight would involve...like, oil and bare chest...OH! Naked bodies...well...no because then they'd just phase and fight. *frowns and scrunches forehead* Alright, I'm getting WAY off topic.

But, I'd like to thank everyone for all the reviews you gave me last chapter. Ah, damnit! ONE! One away from having 42 total. Where are the original reviewers? T-T Is my poor updating schedule to blame? I have a LIFE people! Albeit, a hectic, busy and costly life involving siblings, mothers, nieces, nephew, friends, book clubs, video games, Chipotle, a job forcing me into a small cubicle village with 3 other people who are cool...but their lack of typing makes it look like I'm up to no good. I mean would it kill them to type up an email, so when I'm typing furiously in MS Word it doesn't look so wrong?

Anywho, I love you all very much. Thank you for taking time out of your day and/or evening to read my story. I really appreciate the PMs I've gotten from people telling me that they've read this story multiple times or just happened upon it. I'm really too lazy right now, as always, to go check out the individual reviews and name-names but I do not mind the language barrier. I'm American and know that English isn't everyone's first language. So don't worry about translations issues. I'm not too lazy to go google translate and try and figure out what you said about me. LOL. That and it's something fun to do at work.

Also, the John and Jacob fan war seems to still be waging on. There are some serious die hard Blackwater fans out there that just HATE John's guts. LMAO. And then there are those that love John and are rooting for Leah to hook up with him. I love the feelings and support you show to the characters, especially my OC and his pack. I, personally, don't read too many stories with OC in it, but it means a lot that you all forgo that just for little ole me. Now, I can't tell you who will win Leah's heart in the end because really it's up to Leah who she wants to spend her life with. And...some day, I'll make it back to Leah. Quit SEDUCING ME, JACOB! *shuts eyes and turns head* Gawd, you're so hot and effing glorious!

Oh...and my profile pic...it's John's torso. Thanks to hilja for giving me the pic. ROFLMAO. I've also received a lot of compliments for that as well.

So review please and thanks for reading - again!

Love you all!

KKJ


	10. Belonging and Yearning Pt 2

Belonging and Yearning Pt. 2

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Twilight characters. The only form of payment received is in the form of reviews/alerts/PM from Blackwater fans. Here that SM? There's an untapped market here. I didn't buy your Bree book but there's still hope to snag another 15 bucks from me. Yea...think about it.**

* * *

Darkness engulfs him but the lack of light does not deter him. Even though normal wolves have very poor low-light visibility, it's an added boost to aid him in carrying out his responsibility to the best of his capabilities. Despite his massive size, John is able to maneuver through the forest with such grace and agility that a hooting owl is left undisturbed by the predator's presence.

Stopping for a drink of water at the huge lake, he immediately freezes as his sensitive ears pick up the padding of paws. Curiosity overcomes him as he heads off in the direction of the wolf; he doesn't hear anyone's thoughts. His own mind has remained blank allowing him to remain focus on the world around him. Paul should be sleeping, Ted was working up at the resort, Leo and Gio were both working graveyard security at a factory. The fur on his hackles rise thinking of the remaining member of his pack – Leah.

It doesn't take long for him to find her, she's not running. The small silvery colored wolf stops as her ears shift around trying to pinpoint the location of the alpha. Walking forward he gently brushes against her but jumps back startled when a vicious snarl escapes her throat. The act catching both man and wolf off guard as it is an action so uncommon and unexpected from her.

She continues on walking, heading south; to the States.

Any worries are calmed for the moment as the alpha decides to follow the female to try and understand what is going on. Leah is always thinking of something, leaving her mind and thoughts out and in the open. The silence confuses John but annoys his wolf; either the female is blocking her thoughts or her allegiance has already shifted elsewhere.

The two wolves continue their silent journey through the woods, the main road avoided or quickly crossed and barking dogs are silenced with a growl. The male wolf grows anxious the further south the pair goes; both having long since left his territory behind.

_The female is leaving_.

The thought hits John hard and he pushes the wolf aside calling out Leah's name. She doesn't respond but continues on her journey. Pushing forward, ears laid back, he runs to block her path.

The female wolf pushes on, ignoring the dark gray wolf behind her; _he's_ calling out to her and as much as she'd like to ignore him, she knows she can't. It's a yearning that she had thought faded a long time ago; maybe it was the woman's own desire to protect them both that has dulled the attraction? Things are _not_ in balance, there maybe a moment of perfect peace back in La Push but it's only for a moment – it always is. She stops short, caught completely off guard by the alpha's sudden stance.

Legs stiff, chest puffed out and eyes focused solely on her, or rather the woman. The female knows that the man has taken over the wolf's body before her. He doesn't say anything but his movements aren't completely feral and instinctual. He releases a loud and heavy huff, his breathe visible in the cold Canadian air; it's an act of boundary declaration. She's crossed the boundaries and must return but it's not a command or an order. The man is trying to plead with the woman.

As much as the female would love to heed his half-assed warning, she can't. Returning his huff with one of her own, she moves to go around him but finds herself blocked. Again, she moves the other way and finds herself blocked yet again.

There is a duel going on between man and wolf, man and she wolf.

John ignores the wolf inside of him telling him to _'let her go'_. He doesn't understand what is going on and why. But most of all, he doesn't care. Leah has joined his pack, she's a member of his family and closest circle of friends; he refuses to lose her. The soft, quiet idea that she may comes back falls on deaf ears; _may_ isn't a guarantee.

John watches as the Leah's spirit tries one more time to get around him, adding a snarl in for good measure. With a rough push of his head, he easily topples the female wolf and stands over her. They all know that she didn't expect his passive-aggressive actions; she's grossly underestimated the human male. For a moment, the wolf inside of John comes to the front, excited and aroused by the prostrate female before him. The innate and inherit part of him, of them both, that suddenly has a strong desire to possess her, have her, mate with her.

'_Leah, wake up!'_ John calls out, shaking his head of the last few thoughts. That's not why he allowed her to join his pack. _'Wake up, Leah!'_ John orders, his gold eyes staring deep into hers. The silver wolf's eyes narrow for a moment before they are replaced with a familiar softness to them, a bit of recognition and self-awareness.

'_John?'_ Leah calls as she quickly sits up. John breathes out a sigh of relief as Leah's thoughts fill his head. Her confusion and bewilderment, easing his own fears and concerns, letting him know that it wasn't _Leah_ that was leaving.

'_Let's go home.'_ John says pressing his body against Leah's. The moment their bodies touch, both hearts race with the contact. With a brief nod, the two agree to race home and no matter how hard John tries to keep up with Leah, he can't. Her long legs carrying her away from him so quickly proving to him, that if she wanted to run away, to leave, there'd be nothing he could do to catch up with her. And that realization hurts.

* * *

Leah awakens with a short jump; her heart is racing, she's covered in sweat and there are tears in her eyes. It's strange but she's awoken from a dream that was more of a deeply hidden memory. Years ago, before Seth and Embry had imprinted, before Renesmee was demanding more of Jacob's time and she –

Shaking her head, she recalls getting up in the middle of the night seeking out comfort. Even though she knew it was futile, she still went to her mother and brother seeking the peace and security that would promise her a peaceful slumber. She remembers Seth's scent and warmth as he held her in a brotherly embrace, trying to understand and soothe her fears. After two failed attempts, she had no other choice but to head to her Alpha's.

Closing her eyes, Leah can remember Jacob's scent, the warmth and support his arms gave her the moment they wrapped around her waist, the rumble of his voice when he confirmed the reason for her presence. Leah feels her heart race double time thinking back on their tender kisses and soft words. It's strange but she recalls the moment vividly; at the time she was half-asleep, more like a walking zombie. She was only vaguely aware of the possible intimacy that _may_ have occurred.

After that night, Seth had talked to her about 'running to Jacob arms' whenever her terrors occurred. She hadn't tried to explain to Seth that their alpha was experiencing the same dreams; why they never told anyone has always been beyond her comprehension. Jacob had already seemed disappointed that her family knew of her dreams anyway, it wasn't as if _he _knew what they were about. Being so close to one another did ease the anxiety and calmed Leah down immensely. Despite all of that, Leah agreed to stop going to Jacob's in the middle of the night. She'd already been through the heartbreak over one imprinted alpha and didn't want to repeat it again with the other.

Leah didn't want to risk things going too far. But now she has confirmation; it seems as if someone is trying to use the memory against her. To what end, she doesn't know. Is it supposed to be a reminder of a lapse in judgment? A call to go back to that moment; to go back to Jake?

"Leah?" Leah's body tenses as she's suddenly made aware of the warm body pressed against hers. "Leah, it's just John."

"I know." She whispers softly. Memories from last night rush back to Leah's mind; of awakening in the woods with John standing over her, the race back home and her climbing into her bed. She'd ask John to stay with her, that she hated sleeping alone after a nightmare and he agreed. Leah's always hated that after a nightmare she could never go back to sleep alone; it's something that has stuck with her since she was a little girl.

_It's pathetic, really._

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" John asks, his warm breath tickling her neck.

"I don't remember it." Leah admits ignoring the tingle that shoots up her spine. "I never do." John only lets a soft 'oh' out as a response. The two continue to lie silently in Leah's bed; both enjoying the warm comfort that the other's body brings. Resting his forehead against the back of Leah's neck, John takes in a deep breathe, inhaling her sweet scent. Her scent, always sweet, smells like morning dew, pine trees, wildflowers…and cookies?

_She must've eaten cookies last night_.

"Do you want to talk about _him_?" John asks choking back a growl.

Leah rolls over onto her back, John pulling away to give her room, and looks up at John in surprise. Leah is well aware of the John-Jacob confrontation from a few weeks ago. Ted was quick to explain the situation to her and everything that was said. For a while, Leah was aggravated that John had upset her Almighty Alpha but then considered her Almighty Alpha's personality and moods. Jacob never really took too kindly to outside males; it was chalked up as an 'alpha' and 'wolf' trait. Wolves are a very pack-oriented, not openly accepting random outsiders and very, _very_ territorial.

Leah recalls how Jacob's aggressiveness seemed to hinged upon the size of the new male. The bigger the guy that Leah dated, the more aggressive Jacob was towards him. Jacob almost phased when she brought a guy home that was only an inch shorter than his self. Of course, she didn't just stand idly and quietly aside letting her Alpha just run off her potential boyfriends. The two argued viciously about the matter and as much as Leah hated to admit it, it was a complete turn on that Jacob refused to back down.

It frustrated Leah that women were welcomed openly but the moment a new guy was brought around, every wolf was on high alert. Imprinted or not, they all took it upon themselves to size up her date and then wait for Jacob to intimidate the guy. Very few actually held their ground, only _one_ did but that didn't last because then the guy got a job transfer to New York.

John had apologized to her for not handling the situation better; he was surprised by his own aggression. The situation had only proven that two alphas cannot exist together without some sort of hostility. Her Mighty Mountain Alpha couldn't be blamed for trying to contact her mother and letting her be aware of her child's state. It was just poor timing, that's all.

Leah had talked to her mother since then and learned that now _all_ of the wolves knew she was gone. What brought about the realization, Sue has refused to tell Leah. Leah knows that Rachel's pregnancy couldn't be the reason because none of the wolves would actually care. Jacob and Paul, although in-laws never talked, she was there go between.

"Leah?" John calls looking up at her. "Do you – do you love him?" John asks, his brows furrowing and his frown deepening. He winces for a moment feeling a migraine coming on.

After getting Leah home last night, he had climbed into bed with her – a foolish move. She had immediately fallen asleep and he wasn't too far behind her, but then she began quietly calling Jacob's name. His annoyance grew when Leah rolled over, snuggling into his chest and planting soft kisses on _his_ chest whilst still calling for Jacob.

"I – I used," Leah begins but stops short. She's never lied to John or his pack so why should she start now? "I do love him but he's got his imprint." Leah admits looking at John before letting her eyes drift up to stare at the ceiling. It's the truth, the God's honest, horrific and sickeningly pitiful truth. "I think I'm subconsciously a glutton for things I can never have." Leah admits with a dry chuckle.

Leah had felt an attraction to Jacob during the whole Bella Swan bullshit. It was a feeling that she couldn't shake and despite her angry, aggression and frustration over everything that was going on in her life, the last thing she needed was to fall for some love-sick kid. But, you can't help who you love and so Leah tried to define her love. She stood by his side, always being his friend, giving him support when it was needed or an ass chewing the time came. Leah was satisfied with being Jacob's friend and beta; she didn't need him to be in a committed relationship with her – _although it sure as hell would've been nice_.

Leah Clearwater loved Jacob Black but as she had told John, it didn't matter what or how she felt for her best friend. He had an imprint, a soul mate and she'd never be able to fight against that. There was a reason behind it all; she didn't get it but accepted it. It's the whole reason why she even dated while back in La Push. She may never imprint but there's someone for everyone out there.

Rolling on to his back, John releases his hold on Leah and glares up at the ceiling. It frustrates him that Leah has openly admitted her love for _him_. It's not that he's in love with Leah but he's aware of the attraction to her. Four months isn't a long enough time to start declaring an undying love for someone.

"Why'd you ask?" Leah queries with a sad frown.

"You were calling his name last night." John answers, his voice sounding deep and hollow. Leah rolls back onto her side facing John noticing the angry glare.

"I'm sorry." Leah whispers resting her head on his chest. Since her full recovery a few weeks back, the two have grown closer, physical contact lacking any awkwardness but satisfying a simple and basic need for touch.

"Don't be." John sighs, hugging Leah closer to his side. Neither is sure why Leah apologizes but it seems to satisfy them both for the moment. "What do you think about giving _us_ a try?" John asks quietly as his fingers lightly graze up and down Leah's arm. "You can just say 'no', if you want." John offers when he feels Leah's head shift quickly; she's looking right at him. "It's nothing serious. It'll just be a date or two; probably awkward." John admits with a frown. "I haven't had an actual date in like…five years."

"I'm not a great dater either." Leah admits chuckling. "Lisa was it?" John slowly nods his head. He doesn't say _her_ name much and avoids the name as much as possible. Surprisingly enough it's not painful hearing it come from Leah though. There's an unspoken respect for the deceased girl that John greatly appreciates.

In the last few weeks, John has spoken about Lisa more to Leah than he has to even Paul since the accident. It's probably because of Leah's quiet understanding of his pain; the pain of losing a loved one to something that could've been avoided or at least staved off. With Leah there's no pressure or questioning of why he hasn't dated since losing her. Leah has been hit on by every eligible bachelor on the Rez, he was the last one holding out. Since her accident, she's not been out on any dates and the thought of her dating other guys is…well, annoying.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt." Leah gives in sitting up. "No expectations?"

"No expectations." John agrees sitting up and smiling at Leah. The two shakes hands sealing the deal; Leah can't help but mentally kick herself for agreeing to date a shape shifting wolf, the possibility of imprinting probable. John silently prays that a deepening of their relationship will be enough to keep Leah around and maybe take _Jacob Black_ out of her dreams.

Elsewhere, a huge russet wolf sits snarling at the thought of a darkened wolf figure growing closer to _his_ female. He groans hearing a light-hearted and familiar laughter ring around him. It's Leah's laughter that mocks him and lets him know that the strained hold he has on both _their_, human and spirit, souls is slowly loosening.

* * *

A/N: So here goes the latest update. This one hit me yesterday at work and I just started typing (while working; it's called multi-tasking - SUCCESSFULLY!) and kept on typing. The original chapter was much, MUCH longer than this but I couldn't piece together the revelance of the second half since it goes back to La Push.

This story idea, originally, started off as Leah's journey to find herself, her place and possibly love. Now don't think that Leah is just only out looking for Mr. Right or someone to cling to. Quite the contrary, she's...well she's just not. Trust me on this one. Leah and one other person will get to that pretty much fairly soon.

So everyone was wondering if Jake's dream sequence of Leah and some unrecognizable figure *cough, cough* John *cough, cough* was occurring at that moment. And your answer is yes and no. LOL. I know. Mean Kei. I hope that Leah's brief explanation of the dream was enough to answer your questions. If not either ask for one in your review or PM me. Unfortunately, if you don't have an account I cannot answer your questions so please keep that in mind. But just as a basic ex-pla-na; the first part was a memory being shared between Leah and Jake. Jake's dream/memory broke off and was directed solely to him. This is the one that Leah wakes up from next to John. So, the 'real' night terror Leah did have is what was pulling her and her wolf spirit back to La Push. The question is...why is Leah and Jake having these dreams? Why is Leah the only one feeling the pull? Is there some other force at work here? Mwhah ahahahah hahahahahahahahah.

And I'm spent. (XoX)

But, I really want to thank everyone for all of the reviews. I got 48 reviews for this chapter alone. YAY! I know there's still more of you out there. You know the more reviews a story gets, the more people will stop and check it out. Simple curiousity to see what the numbers are about. So pimp my stories by reviewing! There's still about 60 of y'all unaccounted for. *points at readers hiding in the back and narrows eyes* Yea...I see you. Don't think I don't know who you are. I've got names, peoples. NAMES! Oh well, I'm hoping that y'all will review at the completion of this story. ^_^ Looking forward to your thoughts.

Oh...upcoming updates: Decision and Leah's Propaganda. I've got the updates written and just need to decide on the ending and relevance like I did here.

LOVES YOU!


	11. Vanity and Control Pt 1

Vanity and Control Pt. 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

It's funny how time, situations and people can change. It's an irony that doesn't make Emily smile or even chuckle in the least. Things have not changed the way she planned or even anticipated them to. Leah's absence wasn't supposed to affect the two packs as greatly as it has. There was supposed to a simple sigh of relief; relief that she was gone, she was moving on, living her life and _out_ of Emily's hair.

Emily sighs heavily as she sits in at the kitchen table, in Sue's kitchen…in Sue's _house_. Emily can't help but frown because in all reality this is _Leah's_ house. Her cousin never paid the mortgage or took over the deed of the house but there is no doubt that some way, somehow this is _her_ home. Even the wolves refer it as that, Sam telling her everyday 'I don't want you and the kids here alone. Go to Leah's after you drop them off at school.'

It frustrates Emily because Leah left _her_ home and yet she still has some form of control over the wolves. Once upon a time, Leah and Emily were best of friends, sisters even. But very much like sisters they had their bouts of sibling rivalry. They weren't without their moments of fighting, cat-y-ness, jealousy and competitiveness. Leah was always the more aggressive and dominant out of the two; Leah voiced her displeasure more often while Emily was known to sit and sulk over her disappointment. It was Leah, more times than not, that came out the victor between the two. Leah just had that so-called 'indomitable spirit' that meant she never gave up and was stubborn enough to not just take 'no' for an answer.

The one and only time that Emily had ever _actually_ beaten Leah in anything, parents, aunts/uncles and older relatives not included, was with Sam Uley. Deep down, Emily _knows_ she really never even beat her cousin in the matters of the heart. Sam's desire to fight the imprint in the beginning was proof positive that it wasn't a 'real' love that was felt between them. He didn't know her nor did she know him. But it was something that neither could fight and Emily, in fact, gave in sooner than Sam did.

She had _tried_ to do the right thing, after Leah found out, by breaking it off with Sam. Leah had gotten into a serious confrontation with both cousin and fiancé about their infidelity, worthlessness and something else that quite possibly involved the Quileute language that Emily has never bothered to learn. For a while…even now, Emily believes that Leah did curse her because a few days after Leah's old language rant was when Sam phased and permanently disfigured Emily's face. When Emily came to in the hospital to learn of the state of her face and Sam's regretful look that she said 'to hell with this' and decided to keep Sam for herself.

It wasn't fair that Leah should get to keep her fiancé while _she_ was forced to live out life alone and disfigured. If some weird spirit _decided_ that Sam Uley and Emily Young were meant to be together, than who was she to go against it?

For Emily there was a sense of satisfaction in knowing that she had something Leah would never have. Emily had _finally_ beaten Leah; it was a victory that was long overdue. Sure, she was against being paired up with a guy she knew nothing about and her cousin had _claimed_ to love but there were benefits to becoming Mrs. Sam Uley. With Sam as alpha of the wolf pack, Emily obtained a high position within the Quileute society that she lacked over in Makah. She was practically royalty and with Sam as the Golden Boy, she was the Golden Girl.

For a while she was looked upon as some cheap, pitiful hussy that only landed Sam Uley because he felt some, unknown and unexplainable, responsibility towards her. The story was that Sam tried to distract the bear but to avail thus enters 'Scarface'. Sam was seen as the misguided poor soul that was seduced by some temptress leaving Leah alone and heartbroken. Emily was the villain in the story but no one would dare breathe a word of it to her, around her and especially Sam. Leah was the only one and as her anger and jealousy grew, she began to unleash her anger on those around her. Eventually, over time Leah became the villain as it was believed that she was _finally_ showing her true colors and that _had_ to be reason why Sam left Leah for a more docile and obedient Emily.

However, Emily was _far_ from obedient. In fact, Sam was the obedient one. Sure, he ran things on the outside and within the pack but it was Emily that really pulled the strings back at home. Emily was no longer the quiet, little dormouse that did everything she was told to do. She was the head and no longer the tail. Because of her status with Sam those who, normally, would've spurned her, respected and smiled at her. Everyone did as she requested simply because she was with Sam and that, eventually, included Leah.

When Leah joined the pack it was like a dream come true. As an elder, Aunt Sue couldn't be seen arguing with Emily, the soon-to-be wife of the newest member to the Council, and they had to 'make nice' to show unity within the tribe. Leah and Seth remained defiant but with them both as wolves things would finally fall into place; or so Emily had thought.

Somehow, Leah remained as defiant as ever. Sam had, in a sense, put a gag order on her spiteful cousin preventing her from voicing her anger, annoyance and frustration to Emily directly. Emily could only guess that Leah still continued while in wolf form expressing her displeasure about the whole situation as each of the boys would immediately sober up whenever Leah was around.

That, in itself was another interesting point. None openly complained or challenged Leah whenever she annoyed them. Sure, it wasn't beneath Paul to mock or taunt Leah for her moods but it only went so far. He was never serious about them and his so-called threats were just as empty as their stomachs. Jacob was the only one to actually go at it with Leah, openly and viciously. There was never any love lost between those two because no matter how often they argued, fought, yelled and snapped at one another; they always found some way to get beyond it.

But, Jacob and Leah's odd love-hate relationship never interested Emily at the time and all she really cared about was planning her 'perfect wedding'. And no wedding would be complete without the perfect set of bridesmaids and Leah was one of them. Leah fit in perfectly with the rest of Emily's party meaning that the olive-colored skin, the dark black or brown hair and soft brown eyes all matched and provided a perfectly conformed looked. Her bridesmaid would all look so much alike that no one would be able to distinguish them apart and thus _not_ upstage the bride. Leah had agreed to be in her wedding and although Leah's increased height was a minor nuisance it was still manageable with a simple pair of flats.

When the pack split, however, all of Emily's plans went out the window. Leah refused to be in Emily's wedding. Not _only_ had Leah refused to be in the wedding but _still_ showed up wearing a jaw dropping, backless, ruby red floor-length gown that made her the center of attention even when standing off in a corner chatting quietly with Jacob Black. It was a slap in the face to Emily that not only bruised her ego but her vanity as well. Even _after_ the damn wedding and honeymoon was over all people could talk about was how gorgeous Leah looked. 'Gorgeous' was something that Emily would never be, not anymore and she _loathed_ Leah for it.

Leah may have lost the ability to have kids and live with the guilt of killing her father when she phased; but at least she'd always be beautiful, have eternal youth and whatever damage she suffered would heal in time not even leaving a scar.

That was just the beginning of their rocky relationship and forced interactions.

Along with the pack shift came a shift in power. There were now _two_ alphas running around La Push; the _true_ alpha, Jacob Black, and the stubborn substitute, Sam Uley. At least that was how Leah described and distinguished the two. In reality, there was no arguing with the title bestowed upon Jacob because he was the rightful heir of Ephraim Black. There were talks of combining the two packs to be under Jacob but both alphas refused; Sam because he didn't want to be forced patrolling to protect a disgusting coven of leeches and Jacob didn't want to put up with Sam's ego and Paul's mouth. In reality, Jacob didn't combine the two packs all because of _her_, Leah.

Leah wasn't ready to be back in Sam's head and Jacob didn't seem too hard press to make her deal or even tolerate Sam's presence. Leah wasn't required to 'play nice with her cousin' or even interact with them. The support that Emily had garnered during her time with Sam was soon waning and seemed to shift to Leah. Emily was no longer the one with the unspoken power within La Push, it was Leah. Just through her connection to Jacob Black, Leah seemed to gain status within the tribe that didn't require any sort of intimidation on Jacob's part or acts of random kindness on Leah's part. It just seemed to be automatic and natural; almost as if that is how it was always supposed to be. Jacob and Leah. Alpha and Beta.

The power shift wasn't just felt or expressed by the wolves but the locals of La Push seemed to develop a newfound respect for Leah.

Leah's interactions between the wolves didn't just fix itself over night nor did she just become a new person because Jacob gave her a promotion. It was gradual and although there were a few arguments, scuffs and setbacks; it never stopped the end result. After about a year of the pack split, Leah was respected, liked and even sought after by all the wolves. They no longer came to Emily for their questions or problems, they went to Leah. The cubs no longer just hung out in Emily's tiny kitchen; they instead went to stand around in Leah's _cramped_ and _claustrophobic _kitchen.

The imprints themselves seemed to see the power change and treated Leah with a bit more respect. That was where Emily drew the line. It wouldn't do to have the imprints adore Leah and vice versa while all the while Leah still hated Emily. If anything, the imprints needed to stand together against the lone she-wolf. At first the task seemed daunting and Emily wasn't even sure where to begin; Kim was fairly easy but she just went with the flow anyway. Rachel was a tough sale because she and Leah just naturally got along. Claire was a child, so she didn't matter. The newly arrived imprints were the truly tough ones as they held no alliance to one woman.

Success came in the form of a simple game. The Elders were forever in some vain attempt trying to get the two packs together; and to stay on their good side Emily decided she'd host parties for the two packs. That way, the cubs would come over, Leah would be in a bad mood and _she'd_ look like the perfect hostess and alpha female. Jacob seemed a bit standoffish when within Sam's territory and that would put Leah on edge. Leah on edge put her in a snappy mood and she'd turn on the imprints. It was complicated and simplistic all at the same time.

Basically, the game played was 'How Well Do You Know' and it involved the wolves, imprints, family and close friends. Prizes would be handed out to the winners. Surprisingly, Leah _dominated_ the game knowing practically everything there was to know about the wolves. Emily was surprised that Leah knew so much about Sam and the realization seemed to please Sam while frustrate Jacob. Leah blew every imprint out of the water with her knowledge of their men and from then on, she was hated. It made absolutely _no sense_ that she knew so much more than they did. Obviously, Leah was a meddling whore _who_ at one point or another wanted their wolves for herself because she couldn't find a man of her own.

Things had turned out better than Emily had hoped when each of the imprints began to slowly pull their wolf away from the pack. It, of course, only made sense because soon the wolves would have to stop phasing and just grow old with their imprints. They couldn't keep running around in the woods naked, sharing thoughts and who knows what else with Leah. Amy, Embry's imprint, had proved it when she confronted him about his past with Leah and he admitted that he had a major crush on Leah up until he imprinted. Even the younger wolves had all developed feelings for Leah that bordered on romantic but their souls were saved by imprinting.

Leah would still show up and distract the wolves for a moment or two but she eventually gave up and they all forgot about her. Emily had her perfect life with her husband, kids and family; the Clearwaters were estranged but the interaction was never much anyway. The same held true for the rest of the imprints; they had everything that they needed and letting the guys hang out as a 'pack' was only inviting more late night patrols, pointless meetings and suspicious interactions with Leah Clearwater.

Sure, Emily may not have won the power struggle with Leah but for the time being it seemed to be more of a draw.

But, now it would seem that the struggle has begun again and Emily is on the losing side. What is the most frustrating is the simple fact that, _Leah isn't even fucking here_; her absence showing proof positive the power that she truly held within the pack. What's even more frustrating for Emily is the fact that Leah never used it. With a heavy, annoyed and defeated sigh Emily concedes to the idea that somehow the power that Jacob Black received as alpha was transferred to Leah. She doesn't truly understand it or maybe she's choosing _not_ to but she's not blind to the fact that Paul, as Sam's beta, does _not_ carry the same clout and power as Leah; thus, proving that this whole situation has to be more than just an alpha-beta arrangement.

* * *

Vanessa stomps into the Clearwater home and freezes just inside the door to take an assessment of the current situation. Once again, Sue is gone, Claire is on the couch sitting next to a wolf reading some book, Emily is in the kitchen along with Kim and a few other wolves are scattered here or there. The same tension remains in the air that has been there since they were told of the vampires near the Rez.

"Where's Seth?" Vanessa demands with a hard frown. A few eyes look at her, as if suddenly becoming aware of her presence, before turning back to their activities. Vanessa's fists clench tightly, her lips pressed together and she shuts her eyes tightly taking in a deep and, hopefully, calming breath. The wolves ignore her, the imprints are too wrapped in their own pitiful moods to care and Claire…_Claire is a child!_

"He's upstairs in his room." Rachel offers up waddling into the family room with a sigh.

"Thanks." Vanessa says sharply. It's not that she doesn't appreciate _someone_ answering. It's just that she's sick and tired of this dark, depressing and wolf-centered mood. Rachel watches with a bored expression as another angry imprint is on the war path.

_Good luck, bitch._ Rachel thinks before sitting down in a loveseat with a heavy plop.

Seth knows Vanessa is coming; he knew the moment her car pulled up in the driveway and the click of her heels up the porch steps. He groans lowly, the feeling of a migraine coming, massaging his temple with his fingertips; he's not in the mood to deal with Vanessa.

"You have got to be shitting me." Vanessa hisses the moment she opens Seth's door and sees a huge pile of sheets on his bed. Since the conflict between Jake and Leah's new alpha, Seth has spent his free and waking time in his room, hidden underneath Leah's belongings. Vanessa, initially, felt sorry for Seth as she watched him snatch up Leah's belongings and selfishly, childishly take them to his room. She thought it was sweet that Seth missed his big sister even if she was an antisocial, controlling hard-ass bitch.

Vanessa didn't like Leah from the moment she laid eyes on her. Leah was tall, lean, toned and possessed a natural beauty to her. Vanessa can admit that she was jealous of Leah at the word 'Lee' which is how Seth had introduced them.

* * *

"_Lee, this is my imprint Vanessa or just Ness for short." Seth had said smiling proudly at his sister. Vanessa had no choice but to look up at the tall woman before her. Leah looked down at Vanessa with an inquisitive eyebrow, scrutinizing the small petite woman before her._

"_You're really petite, aren't you?" Leah stated more than questioned. Vanessa with her tiny 4'11" frame frowned up at the Amazon; she always hated short jokes. From the small rumors around the Rez, Vanessa was expecting to see a wild haired, unkempt and steroid-induced, testosterone female version of Seth. Leah had everything that Vanessa would've killed the rude clerk at the Coach store for; hips, thighs, breasts, full pouty lips and a tight ass – all for free._

"_Well," Vanessa begins but is cut off by Leah._

"_Oh well, if the spirits think you're good enough for my little brother than you're alright in my book." Leah says with a shrug before smiling sweetly at the pair. This wasn't the bitch that she recalled hearing about when she was in school. Vanessa lived off the Rez but kept up on the La Push rumors courtesy of her cousins. "I've got to patrol, so you two kids have fun." Leah calls over her shoulder before walking out the door._

"_Oh my gosh, she actually __likes__ you." Seth says letting out a huge sigh of relief. "That's a load off my mind."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Vanessa asks frowning deeply and crossing her arms. Seth only awes at her, commenting on her adorable pout._

"_Well if Leah didn't like you…I, I don't know what I would've done." Seth admits solemnly.

* * *

_

Vanessa didn't find out until months later that if Leah had _not_ approved of her, than Seth would've tried to fight the imprint. The news was a kick to the stomach. That tidbit of news had turned Vanessa completely against Leah. The woman held a power over Seth that not even his imprint could hold. Seth would be willing to endure pain for his sister, to ensure that she approved of his choices in life.

Seth did _everything_ for Leah from getting up in the middle of the night, leaving her alone in bed, to patrol and even missing a date so that Leah didn't have to sleep alone. Seth was supposed to be _everything_ to Vanessa and _for_ Vanessa; as far as Vanessa was concerned there was no room for Leah. Vanessa has spent her entire life sharing with her brothers and sisters. She had never had anything of her own; Seth was that _one_ thing and she'd be damned if she lost it because of Seth's spinster-of-a-sister.

"Seth Michael Clearwater," Vanessa calls stomping towards the bed. With her feet spread apart, hands on her hips and dark brown eyes fixed on the bed she awaits a response. "Get your ass out of that bed. You're coming with me, right _now_." Vanessa orders. There is a low growl from underneath the sheets that only irritates her. "Don't growl at _me_, Seth."

"Go away, Vanessa." Seth growls out from underneath the sheets, still refusing to come out.

"I will not just _go away_. Seth, you don't talk to me like that." Vanessa demands. The urge to unearth her boyfriend from his damn fort growing, what's next? A sign that reads, 'No stupid girls'? This was childish; the vampire-chick was right. "Don't blame me for Leah skipping out on you."

Inside of Seth, there's a cold, hard and deafening snap. Sitting up, Seth whips around to face his imprint. Seth notices the smug look of victory across Vanessa's face as he can only look back at her in pain and sadness. Leah had left _and_ he was to blame. He didn't spend enough time with her and she left without properly saying good-bye. He didn't know where she was or _who_ she was with. All he knew was that Sue _knew_ and that she'd found a new pack of…wolves, or just shape shifters, to hang out with. From what he had heard or noticed from his mother everything seemed to going smoothly for Leah. It's not that Seth isn't happy for his sister, that she made friends and all that. But, the fact that _he_ forgot about her pains him.

Turning his eyes back at the woman before him, Seth's eyes narrow for a second as that familiar anger for the woman before him begins to build. It's been a new, odd and growing feeling of…well, annoyance with the imprints. The only wolves spared the feeling being Quil and Paul, both wolves whose imprints love Leah like family. Vanessa was supposed to be family but she seemed to be the one pulling him away from it, the idea.

Letting out a sigh, Seth moves and sits on the edge of his bed. His mind wanders to how all of this could've happened; how he even _allowed_ this to happen. Looking back over his shoulder, Seth catches the glass eye of one of Leah's favorite stuffed animals, not there were a lot of them left. It was a frog that he had won for her at the state fair a year ago. Vanessa didn't want to go and 'be around stinky, smelly animals'. Seth recalled chuckling lightly as Leah commented how those were the same things and after Vanessa had stomped off in a pout added, 'she's not very bright or takes correction easily'.

Leah hadn't said much else about Vanessa and the outing became a 'pack' thing. Everyone went, well everyone that mattered at the time; Jacob, Leah, Seth, Quil, Claire and Embry. None of the other imprints were interested in seeing a bunch of farm animals, riding shoddy and poorly put together carnival rides or eating even worse carnival food. They all had a great time as both Leah and Claire each walked out with a stuff animal from each wolf. Each of the guys looked on with childish pride as Leah and Claire both discussed what to name their animals. The four stuffed animals all remained on Leah's bed, each covered in her scent as proof that they held some kind of sentimental value to her.

Seth had snatched up the frog, Freddie, that he won for Leah that day. All the others were already missing and Seth had easily guessed that they were each reclaimed by the wolf who won it.

"Ness, have a seat, please." Seth says patting a spot beside him. Seth looks on as Vanessa frowns, her lips forming a tiny pout, before she concedes letting out a frustrated sigh. Seth can't help but notice how her sigh reminds him more of the stuck up girls in high school with the nasty attitudes; he never liked them.

"Are we going home now?" Vanessa asks looking at Seth with a hopeful smile. "I'm sick of you being here."

"This is my home." Seth simply states getting a good look at the woman who has been his girlfriend for the last two years.

"Your home is with me, Sethie." Vanessa coos tenderly, leaning against Seth and batting her eyelashes.

"I grew up here, Ness." Seth tries again looking down at the tiny dark blue rug at his feet. "This is where all my memories are and where Leah will come when she returns." Seth whispers the last part about Leah softly but Vanessa still hears it.

"Seth, Leah has let go and so should you." Vanessa states angrily as she pushes herself off of Seth. She's grown tired of this strange 'attachment' to this house and Leah. "A house isn't a _home_. Home is wherever we are, _together_." Vanessa states matter-of-factly. "Listen, no one likes the vampires in the area. We get that they're dangerous and we appreciate the risks you guys take on. But it's time to stop, Seth. It's time to stop chasing these vampires and learn to live a normal life."

"We don't _do_ normal. We _can't_ have normal." Seth grumbles. Nothing about his life has been normal since he learned how to spontaneously cause his body to explode into a huge giant mass of fur, teeth, claws and paws. "_Normal_ people don't imprint."

"So _what_? _Now_ alluva sudden it's my fault that Leah _left_?" Vanessa demands. This blame game was perfectly fine against the pale half-vampire monstrosity that their so-called Alpha is attached to. The oddly fast growing freak was the perfect scapegoat.

He couldn't understand how all of this could've happened. Whatever happened to his ideals of a loving and happy family? There were supposed to Christmas parties, birthdays and family reunions where his kids and Leah's kids would all run around playing, fighting and looking out for one another. These ideas hadn't ever crossed his mind back when he was a child or even during his early years as a teenager. These expectations were his years after he was a wolf and he'd grown comfortable with his body. Leah's worries of never becoming a mother seemed silly to him; not because he didn't care about whether or not she was menstruating, but because he knew that when the time was right she'd have children. Seth had never shared his theory with Leah, for some strange reason. Maybe it was because a part of him didn't want to go into explaining about _why_ he had this feeling? Maybe it was the little brother in him that, secretly, didn't like the idea of _any_ man touching his sister in such an intimate way? But how could his thoughts for their growing family ever come true if Leah didn't _meet_ a guy that she actually liked or felt attracted to? In order to have the kids, yes, his sister would have to have…she'd certainly have to do the dirty deed with some _fucking bastard!_ _Whoever the guy is or will be had damn well treated her right._ Seth releases a deep growl thinking over some guy being with his sister, the sibling and wolf in him coming together to express their displeasure at the inability to ensure Leah's safety.

Vanessa frowns at Seth's lack of reaction towards her last comment. He wasn't agreeing or _dis_agreeing with her and that was very odd. Seth, all of the wolves for that matter, was very submissive and catering towards their girlfriends, wives and imprints. The slightest hint of frustration, discomfort or frown would be enough to throw Seth into a frenzy as he'd try to figure out who or what it was that upset his 'Ness'. Now Seth wasn't the type of guy that Vanessa had envisioned for herself, the body, the eyes and great smile were part of the equation. The catering to her and never denying anything that tickled her fancy wasn't the problem either. Men were always quick to do and buy anything for Vanessa; her petite frame gave them a sense of manliness. Men felt that because of her size that _she_ needed _them_. It was a simple feeding of the male ego of 'me, man, and you, woman. I take care and protect you' with a few primitive and very caveman-like grunts and hand gestures. What she hadn't factored in was the homebody, the strong attachment to the reservation and the pack.

Vanessa knows that out of _all_ the imprints she's had it the hardest getting Seth to pull away from the pack mentality. Maybe it's because _he's_ the only one with a strong familial bond within the pack? Leah still remained and despite a long break in between patrolling; Vanessa can recall waking up in the middle of the night to find Seth sitting outside on the porch staring off into the woods. When asked what he was doing the answer would simply be, "Making sure that Leah's okay." The answer never bothered Vanessa but it was the voice and the way that it was said that would put her on edge, it wasn't Seth's 'voice' or mannerism that was expressed in that moment. It felt and looked as if there was someone else answering her in place of her imprinted wolf.

"You don't like your family, do you?" Seth asks his eyes focused on the opposite wall. There's a picture hanging up on the wall of the small pack before everyone had imprinted. Jacob standing in the middle, Leah standing to his right while Embry, Quil and Seth were all surrounding them. Sue had taken the picture as it was the day of a small Quileute celebration; Jacob and Leah both had parts to play in the celebration and were dressed up for the occasion. A huge smile on Leah's face is exactly why the picture made it up on Seth's wall; it was a beautiful, genuine, bright and happy smile that reached not only her ears but her eyes, heart and soul. It's a frozen moment in time where Leah was happy and the rest of the pack was happy with her.

"Seth," Vanessa groans out.

"It's a simple question." Seth cuts her off closing his eyes.

"No, no I don't like my family." Vanessa answers.

"Do you like mine?"

"Do they like me?" Seth opens his eyes and looks at Vanessa long and hard. He can't ever recall having such a serious conversation with her before; the idea of someone _not_ liking or adoring his imprint was an unheard of and preposterous idea to him – at the time. However, now as he looks at her, he realizes that it's a very good question. Leah accepted her or maybe did Leah accept the imprint? Sue never seemed to say much to Vanessa; in fact, Seth can't remember ever seeing the three women in his life ever all sitting together and talking.

"That's a very good question." Seth finally says watching Vanessa's arched eyebrows lower and lower on her brow. Seth's lack of concern of the answering being 'no' worries Vanessa as she notices his eyes hardening the more he looks at her. She feels her heart hammering inside of her chest, her lungs feeling compressed, the air becoming thick, stuffy and suffocating and a thin layer of sweat coats her hands.

"I'm going home. You're more than welcomed to come along, if you wish." Vanessa states as she quickly gets up. Seth's back straightens as he looks at the woman before him. Her back turned to him, her stiff and tensed stance and her tightly clenched fists.

"This _is_ my home." Seth simply states. There's the small tug on his heart string to hold and comfort Vanessa, his imprint, as he's always done. She's upset and he's the reason behind it, sort of. Yet, Vanessa is also responsible for her own feelings and actions. She's not stupid or blind to the world that he lives in. All of the wolves and even the vampires all exist within two worlds; it's a duel life, co-existence of human and mythological. Sometimes the problems of one are overlapped or exists the same as in the other. He can't stop living in either world any more than he can stop being Quileute or even a man. It's who is and what has defined and made him into the person he is today. Then again, _who_ is he? A wolf that is, one of many, a protector of La Push and vampire killer? A brother, that forgets about his sister and remains ignorant of her absence? A son who claims to love his mother and yet rarely talks to her? A friend who had, at one point, completely blown off his closest friends just so that he could be at his girlfriend's beck and call? Were his brothers asking themselves the same questions?

"Well…alright then, Seth, if that's how you really feel." Vanessa says still not turning around to face Seth. She's shocked that Seth has turned down _her_ request. "I'll _not_ be coming back here anytime soon. I hate this place, the other wolves, _Jacob_ and the stupid women they are attached to." Vanessa grumbles out. Seth frowns at her usage of the word 'hate' towards so many people that are, technically, his family. "All you guys do is mope over Leah and chase after vampires _that_ haven't been seen in _weeks_. Jacob walks around as if he's going to rip off someone's head at _any_ given second. And the women here only sit around moping and wallowing in their own depression. _Nobody_ wants to be here, Seth. Can't you _wolves_ understand it? We've _all_ worked really hard to get you guys to _stop_ doing this. And what happens?" Seth listens as Vanessa quickly whips around and voice rises. He sees the frustration, panic and fear in her eyes; he doesn't understand why though. "The moment Leah leaves and you all know about it; the shit hits the fan. She's always made you _all change_. Don't you see that she fucking controls you all? Why does _she_ have all this power and _we_ don't?" Filtering is gone now. Vanessa finds herself standing before the man that claimed to love her, that she was his universe; words are just falling out of her mouth and she's not even really sure what she's saying and why. "You belong to _me_ and no one else. Leah shouldn't dictate your moves, feelings and life. _I_ tell you what to do, how to do it, _when_ to do it and _you're_ supposed to just roll over and accept it. As my imprint, you're supposed to be whatever I want when I want it. I CONTROL YOU, SETH!"

"ENOUGH!" Seth yells startling Vanessa as she steps back. Standing up from his bed, his nostrils flare and he walks up to her.

_Is this really what she thought of me? Just some mindless drone to do whatever she wanted me to do?_

Seth glares down at the woman before him, the wolf inside of him is angered and the human is embarrassed. Has he _really_ been controlled by this tiny woman? Seth has reached his full height of 6'4" and easily towers over Vanessa but it was her carrying the leash in her hand. She doesn't care about his family or about what he wants for all of those in his life.

"Get out." Seth hisses lowly, pointing at the door and his eyes narrowed. Without another word, Vanessa turns and storms out of the tiny room, her heels hitting each step letting all that can hear bear witness to her disapproval of these strange turn of events. Seth doesn't relax until he hears Vanessa's car door slam shut and she pulls out of the driveway. He knows that eventually they'll be drawn back together; it's unavoidable and inevitable as she is his imprint. There is a slight ache in his chest over their harsh good-bye between one another but it's nothing that he cannot handle. The pain is nothing compared to the pain that Leah shared with the pack when she first joined up.

_Leah_.

Maybe his sister did actually have more power and control then he thought, but the difference between Leah and Vanessa was that Leah had never _abused_ it. Or maybe it was that Leah was in the position that made it easy to follow through on her requests. Leah didn't order him or the others around; sure she or Jacob may have needed them to do something but it was explained and they followed through. Was the alpha-beta command any different from an imprint's command? Why _did_ the imprints have so much control – or at least believed so?

* * *

A/N: So here goes the next update. There's been a couple of questions about the imprints and I'm not sure if I'll be able to incorporate all of the imprints into the story. I may just try and focus on the main players in Leah's life and how things will change and why from their POV. So, yea, the imprints aren't the greatest of people and I'll be honest in that I don't necessarily blame the 'imprints' themselves. I've just seen a lot of girls get spoiled and big-headed when they have a guy to cater and spoil them. According to Jacob, which I can only assume is what he's heard from Sam and the Elders, is that the wolves will become whatever the imprints want. I've seen girls that were nice change because of this guy who they can walk all over and it's simply because they can. The guy allows it. The relationship never lasts, in the real world, because the girl quickly grows bored of this guy and then switches up going for the guy with the dark-side. I can also admit that I've dated a guy like an imprinted wolf where the moment we were together there was NO backbone and whenever I got upset, everything had to stop and nothing could be done until I calmed down. Which meant I was cooed and awe'd at. -_-; First, of all, it wasn't that serious. And secondly, don't treat me like a baby. Third, GROW A PAIR! Argue with me, disagree and don't just agree with me because it'll make me happy and LOOK like we have something in common.

Phew, so there's that.

But, if you haven't all noticed. That I'm responding back to reviews the same day that I'm posting. So, unless, your review just tickles me to the point that I gotta respond back right away, I'll just hold out until my review. So let that be my tell.

Also, I've posted a poll to see which alpha has my readers hearts. Heheh. Plus, I think some of the questions are funny. ^-^ So, if you got time go vote and lets see who's more popular. I will admit that John has already been threatened TWICE with physical harm. Team John fans, these Team Jacob fans aren't taking this shit lying down. But don't worry it won't sway my decision in the end of who Leah will pick. Just curiosity getting the better of this Kat.

So but again, I'd like to thank all of my new readers and reviewers for taking time to even look at my work. It really means a lot. I HIT OVER 300 REVIEWS! WOOHOO! This is actually my 2nd story to hit 300; Missing You hit 300 a few days ago. I can't thank you guys enough for reviewing. And I'm not kidding when I say the questions and comments you make, I do take them into consideration and use them to expand more on the story. I'd love to answer all of your questions and it gives me something more to build on. So keep them coming and hopefully, I'll keep this energy going.

Btw, Leah's Propaganda...after re-reading it. I hated it. -_-; I haven't scrapped it completely but it still needs some work.

So you have two assignments from me. 1) Review and tell me what you think and 2) Answer the poll of my profile page.

Thanks!

Love you all!


	12. Defining

Defining

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. But you know what I do currently own? Debt. Yea, that's right! Now someone PLEASE take it away from me.**

* * *

Rachel sits back watching with mixed emotions as another imprint storms out the house. She's not exactly sure what went on upstairs between Vanessa and Seth but it's obvious that she didn't what she wanted out of the conversation. Rachel is glad to see her brother and Leah's making a stand against their bratty, spoiled imprints. Both girls truly being the Queen B's of the imprint; Emily more like a Parliamentary figure that was elected by all the others based upon some poorly executed and defined democratic system implemented by the other imprints. As an imprint, Rachel is concerned about the growing distance between imprint and wolf. She and Paul have managed to remain close but that could also be because she's the only one due to drop a bun any day now. Rachel absently rubs her swollen stomach feeling the baby inside kick as if reassuring its mommy.

Rachel sighs heavily as she looks up at her son, Alex, whose unfazed by the sudden outburst. His attention focused on Claire's book and whatever pictures are in it. In fact, all of the children have gathered around Claire and very rarely leave her side unless it is time for them to go. It's interesting to see how Claire has grown up having an imprint since the age of two when compared to Renesmee who has had hers since birth. Both girls very adorable as babies and toddlers; Rachel wonders if their upbringing has had anything to do with it? Is it a nature v nurture concept brought to life? More than likely, Claire was told 'no' and disciplined as she grew up, if not by Quil then at least by her parents and Leah. Emily wasn't one for disciplining Claire as her fear of an angry wolf was always obvious in her eyes. Leah, however, didn't fear Quil, Sam, Jacob or any of the other wolves for that matter.

Rachel's thoughts go back further thinking back on when she first found out about the imprint. She didn't want to imprint on someone who was her brother's age but after listening to her father, the Elders, Sam and Paul she eventually gave in. Rachel recalls that she became the next Martha Stewart of La Push, being second only to Emily, and did everything for Paul. They catered to one another, didn't argue, walked with their hands in each other's back pockets and came up with disgustingly sweet pet names for one another. Paul could do _no_ wrong in her eyes and he viewed her as the perfect woman. However, all of that changed one day when Leah came over.

Leah had stumbled into the Blacks' living room looking like she was on her last dying leg. She was drenched in sweat, her skin was pale and her eyes had lost every last little bit of spark. The sight freaked Rachel out to the point that she was in a panic and wasn't sure who to call first, 911 or Jacob? Paul had just left to run his patrol and Rachel suddenly felt so lost, scared and inadequate. She felt alone.

* * *

"Lee, oh my God, what's the matter?" Rachel asks trying to fight back a bout of tears.

"I, I'm sick." Leah rasped out from her face down position on the couch. Rachel had to strain to hear Leah's words. Her friend was sick and dying. Jacob's beta was sick and dying. A _wolf_ was sick and dying. Her panic began to grow as her thoughts ran at light speed trying to understand what could've happened. Was this contagious? Could the wolves catch it? Would Paul get sick? What would happen if Paul got sick and died? What would become of her?

"Oh God." Rachel moaned.

"I'm – I'm sick _and tired of watching you and Paul be all lovey-dovey!_' Leah exclaimed suddenly sitting up and glaring at Rachel. "It makes me _sick_ to my stomach watching you two interact. No wonder I can't get rid of Jake." Leah continues on ignoring Rachel's confused and shocked expression. "He slept in my room last night, thanks to you two." Leah continues poking Rachel for good measure or maybe to ensure that the woman hadn't slipped into a catatonic state.

"JESUS CHRIST, LEAH! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" Rachel yells standing up and glaring down at the woman who _used_ to be her best friend.

"Really?" Leah asks raising an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware your shit smelled like Lever 2000 and Japanese Blossom lotion." Leah states with a smirk and Rachel flops down on the couch next to her. "I really need you to tell me your secret and I'll _force_ the boys to follow it to the letter." Leah continues on.

"Lee," Rachel sighs with a slight whine.

"I'm serious though. I mean _this_ isn't you, Rach." Leah says all humor gone. Rachel turns her head and looks at Leah out of the corner of her eye.

"What are you talking about, Clearwater?"

"Well, _Black_, I'm referring to this disgusting relationship you have with Paul." Leah states watching Rachel out of the corner of her eye. Rachel frowns deeply, feeling anger well up inside of her. Emily had mentioned Leah's dislike of imprinting because of what it did to her and Sam. "_This_ has _nothing_ to do with me, Sam and Emily." Leah says holding up her hand to prevent Rachel from saying something they'd both regret. "This is about _you_."

"Go on." Rachel says with a frown. Rachel knows that Leah can be a bit bitchy but if anything she's always honest. Leah is the last person to lie to you. Rachel learned years ago to be careful about what truth you want out of Leah Clearwater. If your ass looks fat in a pair of jeans, Leah will say, 'How the _hell_ did you tuck her ass into those?'

"First, what ran through your mind when you thought I was getting ready to _die_ on your couch?" Leah asks. Rachel opens her mouth for a second ready with her answer but stops. Leah's death really wasn't her main concern. It was _Paul_. She was worried about _him_ getting sick and dying. "Paul, right?" Leah states with a frown. "Didn't even worry that I could've died and then defecated all over this 30-something year old couch. Some 'best' friend you are." Leah says sadly while shaking her head and clicking her tongue.

"Lee," Rachel begins ready to apologize but Leah continues on.

"Remember, Theo?" Leah asks and Rachel slowly nods her head. Theo, Theodore Waters, was Rachel's high school sweetheart. They were voted Prom King and Queen her senior year. After college they just grew apart and last she heard he was still studying TV/Journalism. "You liked him, right?"

"Yea." Rachel says cautiously turning to look directly at Leah.

"Why?" Leah asks.

"Well he was cute, funny, had goals, dreams, aspirations and…," Rachel answers and her eyes widen. She once had goals, dreams and aspirations too. Leah watches Rachel closely as she's hit by a little epiphany.

"You two fought too, right?" Leah asks and Rachel nods her head. "Why?"

"There were…just some things we didn't see eye-to-eye on." Rachel answers truthfully, unable to see where this is leading.

"You argued with Chance, didn't you?" Leah asks of another of Rachel's boyfriends. Rachel nods her head in agreement and Leah begins to cite every guy's name she dated from junior high to college. Rachel's impressed that Leah remembers so much of her past and still confused by the questioning. "You learned about them from arguing, didn't you?" Leah asks.

"Yea, yea I did." Rachel agrees nodding her head. The two women have since switched their seating positions. Both sitting facing one another, at opposite ends of the couch and feet intertwined. It's like they were in high school again sharing gossip minus the tub of chocolate chip ice cream to fight over.

"What have you learned about Paul?" Rachel freezes at the question. It's a very simple question and yet the answer escapes her.

"Jake's pro-choice, if you can believe that. Even though he thought Bella should've aborted the spawn." Leah states calmly. "Seth, Seth, get this is a homophobe. Weird when you think about his man-crush on Jacob and Edward." Leah continues as her face scrunches up in disbelief. "We all got into an argument about their views…separately, of course."

"Lee," Rachel calls quickly silencing Leah before she can get into Embry and Quil. "I don't know." Rachel finally answers. It's true, she knows nothing of Paul's dreams, hopes or his aspirations, if he has any. She knows nothing about his stance on politics or current events. She _used_ to love discussing and arguing current events. Rachel Black was a political-science major before coming back to La Push for the summer break. How could she _not_ know any of this about the man she loves? What was going on in the world?

_Who the hell is President?_

"How, how did this happen?" Rachel breathes out.

"You know how." Leah states before stuffing some chips in her mouth.

_When the hell did she get those?_

"Give some." Rachel demands putting her hand out. With a roll of her eyes Leah hands her bag over. "So imprinting has turned me into a mindless twat?" Rachel asks tossing the bag back before popping a chip in her mouth.

"Well, with all relationships it's a two-way street. So it isn't just _one_ person's fault." Leah answers back.

"What's that supposed to mean? I mean you're saying it's the _imprinting_ that's made me an idiot that doesn't even know who the President is."

"It means that it takes two to tango. If you don't like the way things are going, than change it. Bush is still President by the way."

"Really, Bush? Still? Damnit." Rachel grumbles as Leah chuckles.

"You've only been imprinted for a year, loser." Leah teases throwing the chip bag back at Rachel.

"Apparently, _that's_ how blind I am." Rachel whines. "So, what? You telling me to break the imprint with Paul?" Rachel asks feeling a tinge of pain at the thought. Throwing her head back against the armrest she stares at the ceiling.

_Why is there mustard on the ceiling? Is that even mustard?_

"Nope," Leah says popping the 'p'. "Far from it, in fact, I just want you to wake up." Leah says adding a rough nudge with her foot to emphasize her point. "Don't become _that_ couple we used to make fun of when we were younger." Rachel sits up and looks at Leah. Rachel watches as Leah's nose crinkles in disgust. "You know the ones that dress alike, that look at Home & Garden together, do every _fucking_ thing together. Don't forget you're an individual and so is Paul." Rachel's eyes widen at Leah's words. "Fight, argue, know it's alright to have different views of the world. A fight between couples isn't the end of the world or means that you aren't meant for one another – it means you have yet to find a common ground."

"Wow." Rachel breathes looking at Leah. She'd never heard her friend speak so confidently and wisely about relationships or anything for that matter. It's not that Leah hasn't always been smart; maybe it's just that this is their first _really_ serious conversation ever.

"Just thought I'd pass it on." Leah says with a shrug as the front door opens and Jacob walks in. The two women greet Jake as he sits on Leah's lap without a second thought. Rachel watches in amusement as the two argue over their seating arrangement and seem to settle on Leah sitting in Jacob's lap, so that he'd have easy access to the chips was his excuse.

"And don't stop sexing him up." Leah throws out whilst in the middle of frowning at Jacob after he snatched a chip from her hand. Rachel falls out laughing at the disgusted and hurt look on Jacob's face as it dawns on him who they are talking about.

"She only says that because she'd miss me too much if _we_ stopped sleeping together." Jacob says shocking Rachel and embarrassing Leah.

* * *

Rachel chuckles at the memory because from there Jacob and Leah both argued and wrestled in the middle of the living room. Every little sexual innuendo Jacob made seeming to only embarrass and anger Leah more and more. Of course, matters only got more awkward for Leah when Billy and Sam walked in to find Jacob pinning Leah down to the floor, hand frozen in mid-air as he was getting ready to spank her.

"What's got you so tickled?" Jacob asks sitting down on the armrest next to his sister. He's been watching his sister for the last five minutes curious about why _she_ was in such a good mood while all the others were in a foul mood. His curiosity finally got the better of him as Rachel was now close to tears.

"Just thinking back on the day you got caught molesting Leah." Rachel says and finally breaks out in peals of laughter.

"I _wasn't_ molesting her." Jacob growls out feeling his face heat up as all eyes are now looking at him and his crazy sister. "I didn't." Jacob says shaking his head looking at a confused and surprised Eli.

"Oh well, if you had to grope someone, I suppose your best friend would be your safest bet." Rachel says pulling herself up and wiping away her tears. Rachel quickly sobers up seeing the hurt and longing look in her brother's eyes at the mention of his and Leah's closeness. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Rachel asks as it dawns upon her that this is the first time in months that Jacob has spoken casually to someone outside of Claire. Jacob nods his head slowly as his sister wraps her arm around one of his.

Rachel's been told not to talk about Leah around Jacob; surprisingly by Paul of all people. Her name, still after 2-months of him finding out of her absence, is a sensitive subject. The two sit down at the picnic table in the backyard and look closely at one another. They've known each other all of Jacob's life and yet, it feels as if they are seeing each other for the first time in a very long time. Jacob can't seem to get over the fact that his sister is pregnant. He remembers, vaguely, when she was pregnant with now 4-yr old Alex. Paul wasn't too keen on having too much of the pack around Rachel at the time and Leah was the only wolf allowed near his sister. Of course, Leah made him tag along whenever she went to go see Rachel.

Leah was happy for Rachel but he recalls the sadness that was riding along behind that happiness. He held her then, closely, wanting to take away her pain and shame. He recalls never wanting to let her go at that point…and now, just like his last recollection of a moment in time with Leah, he feels as if that was a significant moment. This just like the night they shared after the dream where everything seemed to be in balance and right with the world. Jacob's brow furrows as he begins to wonder exactly how many of those moments did he let slip away without realizing it. Did Leah feel anything in those moments?

Rachel watches as Jacob slips into his own thoughts. It's funny to her to see him, again, as it looks as if he's grown some more. It's not that his body has aged or anything but she can see it in his eyes and in his body movements. She's never seen her brother look so tired and stressed out as he does now. His shoulders slumped as if there's a huge weight on them. She doesn't recall when was the last time she heard him laugh or saw him smile. It pains her to know that the one person who can fix all of this is hundreds of miles away, completely oblivious to the chaos and pain that is going on. Rachel frowns as she begins thinking about Leah, living it up somewhere in Canada with twins – _twins_. They always talked about dating twins as teens and she had a set all to herself. The anger is short lived as her focus shifts back to her brother.

"So what's your problem with Leah being gone?" Rachel blurts. Jacob looks up at his sister, a deep frown on his face and his brows furrowed.

"I miss her." He simply answers. _That_ answer irks her.

"Bullshit." Rachel snaps and ignores the angry growl rumbling from the huge man next to her. "You've gotta do better than that."

"What?" Jacob hisses as his fists clench tightly. His eyes narrow at Rachel in frustration as she glares right back at him, _challenging_ him.

"Bull. Shit." Rachel repeats slowly letting the word hang in between them. "You didn't even _notice_ she was gone until Sue told you." Jacob growls out and directs his focus on the land before him. "Sue's right, _you_ didn't care about Leah but now that she's gone – what is it?"

"I _chose_ to ignore her absence." Jacob admits through clenched teeth.

"What?" Now it's Rachel's turn to be confused.

"I felt _it_; I felt her _not_ being here. I convinced myself that it was the imprint. That something was going on or with Renesmee." Jacob admits. He's not sure which sounds worse, not realizing Leah was gone until it was called to his attention or the fact that he simply _ignored_ it. He _ignored_ Leah. A growl resonates deep within Jacob that he knows wasn't of his own doing.

"Did, did anyone else?" Rachel asks with a deep frown. Rachel recalls Paul feeling slightly off for the first week that Leah was gone too. Rachel couldn't breathe without Paul knowing and watching her closely. It was like he was afraid _she'd_ up and leave him – again. Hormones makes a woman do crazy things like kidnap her best friend with a XL meat lovers pizza and make her drive them to Seattle and sleep in a hotel for the weekend. Thinking back on it, Rachel seems certain that at some point during her and Leah's get-away that she 'molested' her best friend too. Whether it was during a crying fit where she clung to Leah desperately wishing for Paul to show up or when in the midst of a dream, Leah suddenly yelped waking Rachel; only to see Leah hissing and cursing under breath about 'stupid Blacks and their damn hands'.

"I don't know." Jacob admits with a sigh. He really hasn't cared what anyone else has been thinking or feeling lately. He was already beating himself up enough without having to add the others' pain on top of it.

"Don't know or don't _care_?" Rachel asks coming back out of her thoughts.

"Care, I didn't care." Jacob agrees with a nod.

"Maybe you should." Rachel huffs drawing Jacob's attention back on her. "Care about what the others are feeling, thinking and going through." Rachel looks down at her fingers as she begins to fiddle with them. "Leah cared and _she_ kept all of us connected…somehow."

Jacob sighs deeply, his nod of agreement unseen by his sister as her focus remains on her fingers. As strange and weird as it sounds, it's true. Leah Clearwater, the girl who hated being a wolf more than anyone, somehow formed a close bond with each of the wolves and through her they've all remained in contact. The pack wasn't without its clicks; Collin and Brady were inseparable. Michael, Eli and David were the Three Musketeers plus Ray, as the proverbial leader of the bunch. But, Leah was the messenger between them all. Everything both siblings know about the pack they've heard from Leah.

"You're probably right." Jacob concedes, leaning forward with his arms crossed and resting his chin on his forearms. He lets a ghost of a smile break his lips as Rachel rests her head on his shoulder, her arm reaching around and draping across his back.

"You realize that you've really fucked up this whole situation, right?" Rachel adds in a low whisper. Jacob tenses at her words but finds himself unable to be angry with her, as much as he'd like to be. A part of him wants to blame everyone and every single thing around him but deep inside, he knows it's true. He recalls hearing something similar to that a week ago. He didn't listen to his spirit and he can't help but feel that it's too late.

"Yea, I know." Jacob agrees nodding his head. "Lee always told me she'd be here for me whenever I needed her." Both siblings share a shiver of anger but it passes just as quickly as it came. "She told me 'as long as you don't do something fucking stupid, I'll always be here'." Jacob states smiling as he hears Leah's voice inside his head. He remembers sitting on the riverbank with her when she said this; her hair blowing in the breeze, coy smile on her lips and her feet, carelessly, splashing water. "So…apparently, I did something really stupid." Rachel only nods her head.

The two remain silent each to their own thoughts. Rachel thinking about how much Leah helped changed her relationship with Paul. If it wasn't for Leah, she'd probably be no different than the rest of the imprints. They both agreed to redefine their relationship; maybe that's what sets them apart from all the others?

"You know Leah loved me, right?" Jacob throws out and Rachel immediately sits up caught off guard by the sudden bold and smug declaration. There is no surprised gasp or a stuttered out 'what'. Instead, Jacob receives a slap to the back of the head for his comment. "She did," He says as if in his own defense. "She let it slip one day after she joined my pack but before I imprinted." He continues sitting up. Rachel's eyes darken as her suspicion of her brother grows. "It was a thought of us holding one another. It was for a second and totally caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what I saw and she pushed it back down so quickly." Jacob says a weak smile on his lips; thinking of Leah hiding her feelings from him that wasn't anger, annoyance or indifference at the time. "It took me a couple of months to figure it out."

"So…then what?" Rachel asks curious where this is going.

"What else could I do? It's _Leah_; I played dumb."

"Wow that must've been a _real_ stretch for you." Rachel says with sarcasm as she rolls her eyes. Jacob shrugs his shoulders. "You failed by the way." Jacob rolls his head back, looking up towards the sky and frowns. "You _love_ her and have done a horrible job hiding it."

"I agree with that." Rachel jumps startled but Jacob remains perfectly still, he obviously aware of the approach of Quil and Embry. Placing a hand over her heart, Rachel watches as the two sit down across from them; Quil frowning at Jacob and Embry offering Rachel an apologetic smile.

"So you gonna finally admit you love your beta?" Quil asks placing an elbow on the table resting his cheek against his fist.

Jacob eyes them both, his gaze lingering on Embry the longest. Embry remains unfazed by his Alpha's long, hard look. Embry knows why _he_ is under scrutiny by their Alpha; after Embry admitted having developed a crush on Leah before he imprinted, Jacob confronted him. The anger and jealousy was practically beating Embry down as the two stood, one glaring and the other simply looking. It was believed that Embry was good at keeping his thoughts to himself but in actuality no one ever really bothered to notice them. Embry was good at remaining faceless in a crowd but he couldn't hide from a determined Jacob Black. Embry _had_ told Leah how he felt about her and she was flattered, if that was even the right word.

Jacob's frown deepens as he recalls the image of Leah's surprised and blushing face of the news. She had become quiet, shy and reserved and Embry took the opportunity to hug and kiss her; which she returned. Jacob's breathing begins to become shallower the more he thinks about Embry hugging Leah, his lips on hers and the jealousy passes as he's reminded that he imprinted. Embry was upset with the news but Leah had calmed him down and told him to pursue his imprint. Jacob can feel the wolf inside him smiling smugly at Leah's dismissive attitude of Embry's frustration at losing Leah before having a chance of 'having her'. It's the first time in a while he's been aware of the spirit inside of him.

"Yea, I love her. I played and rough housed with her just so I could be as close as possible to her." Jacob states as he closes his eyes, the anger melting away with the darkness. "I've taken _every_ opportunity I had to hold her. After a while though, I just couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. There was Nessie and I _wasn't_ supposed to feel that way about Leah. I'm not even sure if she felt the same way about me after a certain point."

Deep down he regrets never coming out and telling her how he felt. The human was afraid and tried to hide it by passing it off as nothing more than a special friendship. If Leah could lie to them both about her feelings, then why couldn't he? The idea of losing Leah seemed like some fleeting nightmare that at times seemed so real that his body reacted without his brain signaling the commands. When she started dating, every guy put him on edge because they each had something that threatened 'their' relationship.

"Fuck." Jacob hisses as he rubs the back of his neck. He can admit to himself that he's been a selfish ass. He's wanted to keep Leah, to himself and _for _himself all the while catering to Renesmee. For years, he hoped that he'd be nothing more than a brother to Renesmee. It's obvious now that he'd never be more to her than a…what? Brother, uncle, godfather? Those terms carry to much respect and clout with them that he's aware that she never had towards him.

"Got room for one more?" The small group looks up to see a frowning Seth before them. Quil and Embry both scoot down, making room for their brother, as Seth sits down with a sigh.

"Vanessa?" Rachel asks and Seth slowly nods his head. Looking around Jacob wonders, when was the last time the Renegades were together like this?

_Four guys and a girl_. Jacob looks over at Rachel and wishes she was Leah. Looking around at the others at the table, he can tell that they are all thinking and feeling the same way.

"So, you gonna tell us what you know?" Quil asks focusing his attention on Rachel. Since the rest of the pack has shown up, Rachel has felt a bit out of place. She maybe the Alpha's sister and the beta's best friend but she was still, technically, always a part of Sam's pack. She could tell that she was out of place with this group, not knowing all of their little quirks, jokes and peeves like Leah. So she is surprised when someone other than Jacob addresses her. Quil calmly repeats his question and Rachel feels all eyes boring into her forehead.

"Know about what?" Rachel asks trying to sound innocent. There's no doubt in anyone's mind who they are all referring to – _Leah_.

"So you do know something." Jacob says sounding both accusing and disappointed. Taking a deep sigh, Rachel nods her head and under her bangs notices each wolf sit up straight and tense ready to hear what she has to say. Sue and Billy both told her not to say anything. Leah's location was to remain a secret because it was best for _her_. Leah left because she felt as if there was nothing else left here for her. But if that was true, then why would they all be waiting patiently for her to speak? Closing her eyes, Rachel debates with herself on whether or not she should tell Leah's pack where she is or at least who she is with?

* * *

A/N: And there goes the latest update. Phew. I almost didn't get this up tonight since I've started getting back into Wii Fit. I'm an expert at Rhythm Boxing! W00t! *gets up and does Rocky training montage, throwing up hands* So, oh yea! Got another update up and out. Maybe there'll be another one before the week is over? I came up with an idea that I just can't wait to get into! *squeals excitedly*

So will Rachel spill the beans? Are the Renegades getting back together to head off to Canada and find their missing Lee? What the hell ever happened to the other vamps? I bet Bella's pissed. Pfft, like I care that she's mad. SUCK IT, BELLA! Oh...wait, that's how you wound up with the spawn THAT RUINED JACOB'S LIFE!

So…oh, in case you're wondering…Jacob is wiping the floor with John, 7 votes over the Mighty Mountain Alpha.

4 of you would prefer to take Leah out of the equation and enjoy yourselves a nice Jacob/you/John smexwich. Which I gotta admit does sound very nice. I mean you'll never be cold and every time you rolled over…BAM! SEXY ABS to your left. SEXY ABS to your right. Who would get tired of that? Mmmm…*sighs* and the cool side of the pillow RUINS that effect.

But 3 of you are staying on the fence, patiently waiting to see how everything progresses. Why? Because you ladies just love the eye candy. Don't' be ashamed, admit it.

There are 2 of you biding your time, waiting for your moment to STRIKE! And pounce upon whatever male Leah walks away from before he can hit the ground. Where you will then hold, stroke, grope and coo to him convincing him that you are all that he'll ever need…but not in a controlling imprint sort of way. Because you're not bitches like that. No sir-e.

Finally, there are 2 of you who just say screw the Awesome Alpha fight. I've got my eyes set on a wolf without the top dog ego but can dominate me any time _he_ wants. So while the others are cheering, screaming and insulting the rival competitor. You two ladies are already working your magic on who you're going to the post-fight after party with. Of course, no one has planned an after party but where ever there's you and hot wolf there's bound to be some movin' and grindin' – uh, you mean moving and grooving. OH! They like the sound of your first Freudian slip. Check and mate!

ROFLMAO. So, basically, that's what my day has been spent doing. Coming up with cheesy innuendos and comments for random shit that a co-worker Google'd. And yes, someone _actually_ walked up to me and said 'Check and Mate' to some dumbass comment I had made – it had me tickled. I didn't understand it but _vowed_ to use it sometime today. And I used it twice…no, the first time was not during chess. Although I'm decent at the game; no Bobby Fischer or anything.

But thanks for reading everyone and please, please, PLEASE leave me a review. I haven't hit 48 again since chapter 9 but I'm definitely getting more reviews/hits SINCE chapter 9. I'm shooting for 400 reviews people. C'mon, PIMP MY STORY! Don't make me break out the thigh high boots…ugh, and I just admitted to having a pair. Oh, well it's just one of those things that every lady should have in her closet along with a smoking, hot black dress, pair of stilettos (even if you're afraid of heights and _know_ that your life will pass before your eyes the moment you take your first step), black lace panty and bra set, good pair of running shoes, a business suit for that interview and a bat called 'kindness' for when you really need 'to kill someone with kindness'.


	13. Recollections

Recollections

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.

* * *

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He sits on the old, worn couch, his feet kicking rhythmically to a beat that can only be heard inside his head. There is a deep frown upon his small, round and chubby russet face that doesn't seem to faze those around him. His eyes throw a quick side glance in the direction that his mother went; she's crying. He doesn't understand why his Momma is crying, but it has something to do with Daddy – that he's certain of. The frown on his face deepens as does his brows, now practically knitted together, in a sign of his frustration, confusion and anger. He _hates_ not being able to understand what is going on around him. It's raining outside and he has no choice but to remain inside the small red house with the other children as his Momma sits in the kitchen crying.

_Why is Momma crying? Where's Daddy?_

These questions and more run through little Sam's head as he tries to piece together what he knows. His Daddy left for work but didn't come back. Why hadn't his Daddy come back home yet? Was he lost? Sam recalls his father telling him that he ever got lost to stay in one place and that his Daddy would come and find him. Sam sighs as his hands tighten into tiny fists; his Momma should be out looking for his Daddy instead of sitting in Mr. Black's kitchen crying. How can you find anything when your eyes are filled with tears to the point you can't see? At least that's what Daddy always said whenever he felt like crying.

"Don't worry your Daddy will be back." Sam looks up and sees the biggest, softest brown eyes looking right back at him. It's Mr. Clearwater's daughter, Leah, she's a year younger than him.

"I _know_ that." Sam snaps angrily as he narrows his eyes at the girl next to him. Her hair is pulled up into a simple ponytail, her lips stained red from the candy that she had offered him earlier. He looks down and notices her blue shirt stained red too and frowns at the messy girl in front of him.

"Okay…well, I'm just saying that you're right." Leah says slowly and carefully with a small frown.

"More, Lee-Lee, give me more." Leah's attention turns from Sam to the smaller child before her. His chubby hands reaching up for the red sucker that she has in her hands, his lips and tongue stained red. Sam frowns as the 'baby' climbs up into 'Lee-Lee's' lap and pulls the candy into his own mouth.

"Jakey, you're supposed to wait your turn." Leah scolds with a small frown.

"We share, Lee-Lee. We share, okay?" The little Jacob says as he wedges himself in between Leah and Sam.

"Yes, Jakey, we share." Leah says giggling as she wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly.

Sam looks on as Jacob wraps his arms around Lee-Lee and hugs her back. He suddenly wishes that he hadn't snapped at Leah because than she'd probably hug him. His mother's cries suddenly become louder as the Blacks, Clearwaters and Atearas all try to calm her down – with no success. He won't cry because his Daddy told him that big boys don't cry but at 8-years old he really wants to. He knows his Daddy will be back soon but right now…he really wishes someone would hug him.

* * *

It's Valentine's Day and he's now 14-years old; his father never came back like he had believed but that's okay. He looks after his Momma now and does his best not to cause any trouble for her; at least that's what all the adults have been telling him every day since word got out that his father up and abandoned them. He studies hard in school, never picks or teases the other kids and tries to make his tribe proud of him. The tribe is his family, now, and every male on the Council is his father and their acceptance and support is what he seeks out and needs.

Or at least it was; now, he's looking for something a bit more. She's sitting on the swing, hair tied up in a loose ponytail, bangs cut perfectly straight across her forehead. Her hands are busy working the buttons on a small black handheld game, her feet lazily propelling the swing back and forth and there is a small smile on her face.

_Lee-Lee_.

Her lips are moving, mumbling something either to herself or her game. Sam bites his bottom lip, watching her lips move quickly and he wants to so badly know what she's talking about. He'll gladly join in on whatever one-sided conversation she is having. The card in his bag, although made of simple construction paper, glue, glitter and words written in marker, weighs nothing; it feels like some heavy weight sitting on his shoulder. The words 'Lee-Lee, be my Valentine. – Sam' seem to possess a fire within them that makes a part of him just want to throw the entire bag at her and run away like there was a bomb in it.

_Just give it to her_.

He tells himself as he becomes painfully aware of his heavy breathing, sweaty palms and dry mouth. Closing his eyes, giving his bottom lip one last hard nip and steeling his nerves, Sam walks towards the swing with conviction in his mind and love in his heart. He's had a crush on Leah Clearwater now for the last year and he's finally going to let her know about it; that's what his Momma said to do. "Tell her how you feel. Otherwise someone else will swoop in and take her away. Then what will you have? Nothing but regrets and a broken heart, that's what." He had wanted to buy her a card but realized too late that he'd spent all his money on his Pokémon trading cards.

"Hey, Lee-Lee," Sam greets stopping a few feet short of Leah. She looks up at him, quickly, and gives him a small smile before returning back to her game. "Ha," Sam begins but is cut short as Leah holds up a finger silencing him.

"HA! I captured Mew!" Leah declares proudly jumping up from her swing. He watches amused and in awe as her light brown eyes dance with excitement and joy. "Do you wanna see?" Leah asks and Sam quickly nods his head. He inhales deeply as she quickly moves to stand beside him, her hair smelling like strawberries, as he bends down to get a closer look at her screen.

"I didn't know you were into Pokémon." Sam states with a small smile.

"I'm going to 'catch 'em all'." Leah says seriously as she makes a fist.

"I don't have the video game but I do buy the cards." Sam says sheepishly suddenly feeling embarrassed at his lacking.

"Oh, well that's alright," Leah says reassuringly, "You,"

"LEE!" Leah is cut off as a voice cuts in, interrupting their conversation. Sam looks up with a deep frown as Jacob Black comes running up towards them, the bag on his back jostling every which way on his back and a huge grin on his face.

"JAKE!" Leah calls back with the same excitement and volume.

"Sorry, sorry I'm late." Jacob says once he's in front of her. "Just had to help Dad out with a few things before I could leave." Jacob explains as he drops his bag on the ground at Sam's feet. "Hey, Sam," Jacob greets with a nod as he bends down and begins rummaging through his bag. "How's it going?"

"Alright." Sam answers curtly.

"Guess what, Jake, I got Mew!" Leah declares plopping down on the ground next to Jacob. Sam watches with envy as Jacob's eyes light up and the two begin talking back and forth about the elusive Mew. Sam's jealousy only continues to grow as Jacob pulls out his Gameboy and the two begin to discuss trading Pokémon.

_Stupid Jacob Black_.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Jacob says as his shoots up quickly and he looks at Leah.

"Sit down, Sam." Leah orders as she tugs on his pants leg seeming to remember his presence. Sam, against his better judgment, does as he's told. He sits down next to Leah so close that their knees are touching.

"_This_ is for you," Jacob says proudly as he hands Leah a card. "Happy Valentine's Day!" Jacob says excitedly as Leah's eyes widen in surprise.

"But we already exchanged Valentine's yesterday at school." Leah says fighting back a smile but taking the card quickly so that she can look at it. Sam feels his heart quake as his Momma's words begin to play in his head.

_Am I too late?_

"Yea, but that's what I got _everyone_. This is something special just for _you_." Jacob says as he scoots over moving closer to Leah. Leaning over Sam looks at the card made by Jacob Black; it's made out of construction paper, there's no hearts or glitter. It's a simple piece of paper, folded in half, there's a Charmander and an Eevee both hugging each other tightly. They are crudely drawn pictures but the characters are still easily recognized. Opening the card, there are no simple words declaring Jacob's 'like' for Leah but a simple, "You'll always be my friend – Jake".

After reading the card, Leah leans over and hugs Jacob thanking him for the Valentine's Day gift which Jacob eagerly returns back. Leah than explains to Sam that Eevee is her favorite Pokémon while Charmander is Jacob's. She likes Eevee because he has a choice of what to evolve into or not at all if he chooses. Jacob tries to convince Leah that Flareon is the better choice but Leah only laughs at his suggestion saying that she'll consider it. Sam eventually works himself up into giving Leah the Valentine's Day card that he made for her. Jacob watches on silently as Leah blushes over the card cut into the shape of a heart and she hugs Sam as a form of 'thank you'. There's a hint of smug satisfaction as Sam hugs Leah tightly and fights the urge to make eye contact with Jacob – he does anyway. There's a darkness in Jacob's eyes that for a moment unsettles Sam but it passes once the three of them all stand up and Sam stands towering over the 10-year old Jacob Black.

* * *

He's not been feeling well lately, his body aches all over, he's had a fever, major headache, sinuses burn, ears ache and his body seems oddly too small. It was supposed to be a simple bug that would pass in a few days; at least that's what his mother had said. Well things could always be worse, he could be in his room alone and miserable. Sam lets out a deep groan of satisfaction as he feels her hands massaging the muscles in his back and shoulders. The pressure she's applying relaxes him and releases the tension in his body.

"You sound like some old dog the way you're groaning." Leah giggles as she uses her entire weight to work on the knot in Sam's left shoulder blade. He smiles at the sound of her giggle and shifts his back up, encouraging her to move down lower. "Yea, yea, you slave driver." Leah teases.

There was a moment in time where Sam was frightened that he'd lose Lee-Lee; that someone else would come in and take her away from him. He's been really lucky and he thanks God every night for blessing him with a girl as wonderful as Leah. It took a while to get Leah to start actually taking a serious interest in him but he kept up the hard work and is now reaping the reward. He treats her like the beautiful princess that she is, there's nothing that he wouldn't do for her and to anyone that dared hurt her. She was _his_ Lee-Lee and no one else's. She had taken his heart without realizing it and now he has _her_ heart.

Sam tenses the moment he feels Leah's body shift, the springs in his mattress squeaking with her body's movement as she straddles his legs and begins massaging up his spine. Turning his head around to get a better idea of what is going on, he's greeted with a hand to the face.

"Turn around there, Tiger." Leah says pushing Sam's face back to facing forward. "No need to get any _ideas_." But it's already too late, there's already a seed that has been planted and it's growing. His mother is working, leaving the two of them alone, in his house, in his room and on his bed. Quickly he flips over to see a frowning Leah looking down at him. His eyes widen as he takes all of her in; her long hair that is hanging free, her soft hazel-colored eyes, her full lips, flawless skin. It's as if he's seeing her for the very first time and she's even more beautiful than he even remembered. His eyes take in the rich colors of her skin, hair, eyes and her clothes.

_She's beautiful._

Sitting up his hands gently grip her hips, holding her in place as his eyes take in every detail about her. Something inside of him is cataloging every detail about the woman before him. His right hand slowly moves up lightly grazing her hips causing her to jump a little and he smiles at the reaction. He closes his eyes and inhales her sweet scent that reminds him of the ocean, the sweet salt and fruit, strawberries. He can hear her heart begin to race as his hand moves further up and runs up her neck.

"You smell so good, Lee-Lee." Sam breathes out as he buries his face into the crook of her neck.

"Sam," Leah breathes out and he places a soft kiss on her exposed neck. They've not had sex before, she wants to wait a little bit longer but right now she smells so good. Everything about her is drawing him in, making him delirious with desire.

"I know but," Sam whispers as his hot breath blows across her neck and he begins unbuttoning her flannel shirt, "I can't resist you. You, you're so beautiful, Lee-Lee. I just need to touch you, feel you," Sam continues as he pulls her shirt down off of her sleeves to reveal a simple tank top underneath. "I need to know what you taste like, Lee-Lee." Sam breathes out huskily before he captures Leah's lips with his own. There's an energy inside of him that he's never felt before and drives his adrenaline. She's his first and yet there's no awkwardness in his actions; he's being guided purely based upon instinct.

There's a gentile and loving tenderness to their love-making as their bodies move in sync. He plants kisses on every part of her flesh that he can reach; he's greedy in his desire to please her, satisfy her and show her that she means the world to him. At the back of his mind, there's a tiny voice telling him 'this is good-bye' but he chooses to ignore it. He has her now in the most intimate and personal of ways; he's waited for this moment ever since he hit puberty and he'd be a fool to let it go. She pants his name, her back arching, muscles tightening; nipples erect and begging for his attention as her warm, wet walls suck him in deeper and deeper.

"I love you, Lee-Lee." Sam breathes in her ear pressing her body deeper into the mattress. "You're so beautiful,"

_You shouldn't do this_.

"You're perfect."

_This is it._

Sam ignores the voice, digging deeper, trying to bypass it and give his all to the beautiful girl beneath him. The voice continues on with a saddened wisdom to it as Sam finally hits his breaking point; Sam and Leah both cum together falling in a heap, their limbs entangled, breathes mixed and hearts beating as one – and then the rhythm is gone.

_She's not yours to have. Let her go before it's too late._

"Thank you, Lee-Lee." Sam pants out, rolling to his side and taking her with him. She chuckles at his attempt at pillow talk and kisses his chest lightly before snuggling into his side. They lay together in comfortable silence and Sam ponders over _why _he had said 'thank you' when what he really wanted to say was, 'I love you, Lee-Lee' again. By the time he works up the…ability? To say the words, she's already asleep beside him and he hugs her close, gently stroking her hair and enjoying the moment.

The feeling never leaves him; that he's made some grave mistake that will tear his whole world apart. His gut keeps telling him that he's stolen something that was never his to have. Things seem to come to light as Sam phases for the very first time and things make sense, or somewhat. He has a responsibility to his tribe, to those that have supported and guided him up until this point in his life and to protect all of those that he loves. He loves Lee-Lee and yet, that quiet voice is louder now and it warns him to steer clear of her.

_Dangerous._

_Not ours._

_Stay away_.

* * *

The command rings loud and clear but he chooses to ignore it. He _refuses_ to pay any attention to the small voice because there is nothing in this world that means more to him than Lee-Lee. She's _always_ stayed by his side and he won't leave her now. He's _not _like his father; he can't just walk away from the best thing that has ever happened to him in his life. In the end, it's not enough because he loses her still nonetheless. She's not even taken away from him as it's more like _he's_ taken away instead. His soul bonds itself to his Lee-Lee's cousin and all the hopes, dreams and best-laid plans for his, _their_ life are over.

The voice inside of him tried to convince him that Leah was never his to have, to hold and, especially, not to love. He didn't want to listen and he paid the ultimate price; it was like he was reaching for a star. A star that when he finally got close enough to touch it, the structure that he made to reach it simply melted under the heat. It aggravates him to think about the _one_ who was meant for _his_ Lee-Lee, the one who has _always _been by her side and has always been her friend, Jacob Black.

Coming through the trees in the Clearwater backyard, Sam stops just within the tree line noticing Seth trudging over towards the picnic bench that sits off to the side. The young man's shoulders are slumped, his eyes look tired and there's an air of defeat about him. Sam remains still as Seth asks to sit down and join the rest of the 'Renegades'; it's a word that seems to fit the bunch nicely. A rogue alpha that, against all odds and common sense, imprints on a half-vampire child, abandons his family and friends all for the sake of a woman that _would_ never and could ever return his feelings. Jacob stood against everything that has been destiny up until this point. Sam wonders if Jacob will continue the exact opposite of what is expected of him.

"So you do know something." Jacob's voice breaks in and draws in Sam's attention. His body tenses as he awaits the answer; if there's anyone else beside the men already surrounding Rachel Meraz than it's Sam Uley.

A/N: Well this idea just suddenly hit me on my way home from work. There's a much longer part to Sam's take on this whole situation that I'll post in the next couple of days. Wow! I already hit over 400 reviews! W00T! W00T! I just gotta say a huge major THANK YOU to everyone for taking time out of your day to read AND review my story. It really means a lot to me when you guys tell me what you think and feel about my story. The only downside to the reviews is that they bring other ideas to the forefront of my mind. So it gives me a lot to work and expound on which I feel makes this story all the better.

But GUESS who got some noms on the JBNP site!

CAN I GET A 'HELL YEA!'

This story has got noms for: Best Blackwater story (along with my fellow WILF girl Cucumber07 for Blackout AND It All Started With a Promise), Best Leah, Best Paul (don't know how, but damnit I'LL TAKE IT!) AND Best Seth!

And I also got Best Embry for Worth Waiting For.

OH! And hilja got Canine Comedians for Your Body Is a Wonderland.

T-T You all have NO idea how much it means that someone even THOUGHT to throw my name in the mix. My next goal is Best Erotica! I need to up the anty on my lemons...but how? Restraint still makes me blush but that's going to be my goal! But I suggest everyone taking time and reading the rest of the noms as well since they are all such great stories, written by great authors.

An update in the polls out of 65 votes (which means that there's still quite a few of you that aren't reviewing. Just saying):

29/65 - Are shooting for a Blackwater story with love, romance, forgiveness and possibly a lemon? Eh? Eh? Sure Jake is an idiot. Sure he's taken advantage Leah for granted but doesn't love sometimes need some kind of struggle along the way to make it all worthwhile? Jacob can redeem himself, damnit! And when he does that sexy John (damnit, I did it again) is going to get his ass kicked by the REAL Alpha.

17/65 - Have found their hearts being held in the huge, strong, determined and understanding John. You have fallen into the sea of his calm, cool gray eyes. He's sensitive and yet he has that strong, sexy masculine side. John won't just roll over and let an injustice go by unpunished. Oh, but you'd gladly roll over him, won't you? Yea, I know you will.

7/65 - Are still keeping your butts planted on that fence. There's an angry, shirtless Jacob Black on one side that's just _itching_ to bitch slap Renesmee. And you all tingle with excitement. While on the other side is the calm, (also) shirtless John who is beckoning you all with his mature attitude and reluctant smile. But oh no! NO! You ladies will not be swayed...just yet. Although, I'm certain that at some point or another you'll be tempted to either put a toe down on one side of the fence or at least add another part to the fence just to be closer to the alpha of your choice.

4/65 - Say, 'Pfft, forget the two "J's". I've got my eye on another wolf in the pack. Whether it's the ever cocky and smart-ass Paul Meraz, who's thin lips and smirk have you running for a new pair of panties. Or maybe it's the other Paul, whose playful, over-confident and a shameless flirt. I've heard there's an interest in Gio, the gentle giant, of the Canadian pack who will gladly let you sit in his lap as he holds you, whispering sweet little words to you and promises to be gentle...if you want him too. Hehehehe.

4/65 - Say, 'Pfft, forget Leah. I'll solve this problem of whose the better alpha, myself.' You four will gladly take on the responsibility of figuring out whose the 'bigger and better' man. After all, someone has to be willing to the do the dirty work. And none of you mind getting down and dirty with these two sweaty sexy alphas. Maybe a little bit of chocolate, whip cream, a little bit of rope and a leash. oO? Too much? Oh...alright, I'm sorry. But the point is...you'll do this for all the girls out there! YOU'RE SO SELFLESS! YOU'RE MY HERO!

3/65 - Still don't care who wins because either way...you're getting yourself a wolf in the end. You three by now have towels, buckets, lotions and oils just ready and waiting for the impending end game. Your patience is a sign of your merit. I salute you!

1/65 - Oh, bless you. Bless you. There's so much hotness, anger, aggression, need for dominance and half-naked, muscular torsos all around that you don't even know where to begin. Looks are one thing but you're possibly looking for something deeper? Jacob has the history but John is making a brighter...future...possibly? You don't know and you're scared to guess. There's so many fish in the sea and so many glorious options. But you're going to wait. Wait and see Kei has planned...quietly, hoping that she won't let you down. *pats your back* It's okay; if I do than I give you full right to bash me for 5 minutes! But that's it!

So as I said this came up at the last minute...but, BUT if you guys can give me 40+ reviews or more I'll post the next chapter on Sunday. Yea, I'm bribing you guys. *shrugs shoulders* This is a one-time only so don't think that I'm blackmailing you and I'll keep this up. But I trust you guys will do it before I lay my head down tomorrow night. ^-^ Love you all!


	14. Recollections Pt 2

Recollections Pt. 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters as they do belong to Stephanie Meyer. I do, however, own the Canadian characters and, sadly, the new imprints. Especially John who was taken from me *eyes begin to well up with tears* IF you find him…please return him to me. T-T

* * *

**

She's standing calmly, head down, thumb quickly and skillfully scrolling through the different apps on her smart phone. There's a khaki go-bag slung across her chest, the strap sitting snugly between her breasts and he can't help wondering if she's forgone wearing panties as well as a bra? Her wild hair has been brushed out, all tangles and knots gone. There's a soft curl at the ends of her hair and along with the fresh cut it all frames her face perfectly.

A truck speeds by and the gust of it passing causes her light brown dress to billow up revealing more of her long legs. He groans with a deep hunger for the olive-colored legs and for a moment a memory fills his head of them once being wrapped around his waist; holding him close, painfully pushing him in deeper inside of her. A sharp pain hits him in the temple and his longing for the past is over – the imprint acting as a severe migraine.

_Leah_.

The name alone evokes so many emotions within Sam that it always leaves him feeling lightheaded. There are thoughts, memories, promises, words, feelings and a strong presence about Leah that has always affected him. Once upon a time _she _was his everything; his world, his past, present, future, dream, his reason for trying and more. Before there was Emily, wolves, legends, rival alphas and Cold Ones; there was just Sam and Leah. She's the reason why he's able to sit just on the edge of the tree line and dissect every person's expressions and feelings. He's, inadvertently, watched them all for the purpose of looking out for her.

Sam lets out a heavy sigh. He knows that his actions have long since crossed the line into an obsessive compulsion that has forever pulled him back to Leah. She was like a drug, an addictive drug that took his mind, body and soul to a different plane of existence that nothing else could come close to. Just one _hit_ was never enough for Sam; he always needed more and more of Leah.

Even after their break-up when Leah turned her back on him, which was expected and Emily he couldn't stop thinking about her, missing her and having the urge to be around her. Imprinting was about finding one's soul mate, that's what Emily was supposed to be, but then why was he _still_ drawn to Leah? This has been a question that Sam has _never_ been able to come up with an answer for. He _had_ tried to wean himself off of Leah Clearwater. He watched her from afar, when she left for school he was there and instead of waiting for her to come out after school, he'd instead be in the Clearwater backyard. Eventually, he'd work himself down to only seeing her off to school and then not at all – that was plan. However, fate had something else planned.

Somehow Leah had figured out that Sam was still 'looming over her' and confronted him about it. He had felt certain that he was over Lee-Lee but then she showed up in all her beautiful, worked-up glory. The sight of her had two effects on Samuel Uley: (1) he found his breathe taken away by her fiery beauty and spirit and (2) he was scared shitless of her rage. Sam has always found it hard to explain but when Leah was involved, getting angry with her was next to impossible. The wolf spirit inside of him couldn't work up the nerve to stand up against the small woman. Both man and spirit both rolled over taking Leah's assaults with flattened ears and tucked tail. Sam chalked it up to his guilt for hurting the only woman he ever truly loved. The wolf inside him, however, knew because she possessed a power within her that was not _his_ to control.

Taking a deep breath, Sam decides to come out of his hiding place and confront the beauty before him. Casting one quick look, Sam finds Leah's attention still focused on her small phone, the white cord of her earphones standing out as a stark contrast with the earthy tones of her skin, clothing and scenery around her. Ducking low, Sam maneuvers through the trees and bushes coming out about 500 yards down the street from his previous position.

Taking a deep breath after fixing his clothing he begins walking down the street. Hands stuffed down deep in his pockets, he never takes his eyes off of her. Despite all the history between them, the moments that they've shared and those that were stolen; Sam always finds himself feeling the same way about Leah as he did before they started dating. Somehow the small woman always made him feel small, insecure, anxious and self-conscious. No matter how many times he tells himself it's ridiculous for him to feel this way, nothing ever changes. She knows _everything_ about him and that makes her the most powerful person in his life.

_Knowledge is power_.

He freezes for a moment as she looks up and sees him only about 30-ft away. Sam's brow furrows as he realizes that he's stopped breathing; she's taken his breathe away – _again_. There's a small frown on her face as she looks back at him; her gaze making him feel like some goofy pre-teen at his first school dance. If he approaches her and asks her to dance, will she say 'yes' or 'no'? Will she laugh in his face? Or completely brush him off?

"Are you stalking me or what?" Leah asks, her voice sounding bored with his presence already.

"Uh," The only word that he's able to articulate. He curses himself mentally and his body begins to slowly relax and move. He wasn't aware that he'd frozen still like he would if he was out hunting in the woods.

"Aren't you a little far from home?" Leah asks unplugging her ears. Sam swallows the lump in his throat as she casually tosses her hair back and lets the buds sit in between her cleavage.

"Uh…I, I heard you were going away for a while." Sam says stopping a few feet shy of Leah.

"Yea, my great aunt is ill and I've been nominated to aid in the 'healing' process." Leah states with a small smile and roll of her eyes. "She believes me to be some magical being, able to heal wounds and some other medicine woman mumbo jumbo, like that."

"Does she _know_?" Sam asks as his body tensing and his eyes narrow into small slits. His question although vague, is very specific as well and Leah simply laughs, shaking her head.

"No, she, my great Aunt Emma, has always said that there was magic in my voice. That I have the power to _heal_ others with it." Sam only nods his head. Silently, he agrees with Aunt Emma's statement. There is magic in Lee-Lee's voice; she always found some way to heal him. But, she also could use the same _magic_ to hurt those around her as well; that's personal experience speaking. Leah has healed Sam's heart one last time, in a way. She had told him a few years back that she was 'over him' and that he should live his life with Emily. She was sincere in her speech and that helped ease the pain and guilt but there was a clear, unspoken understanding that _he_ was not to expect her to be an active member within his life.

_Beggars can't be choosers_.

He's grateful that she's managed to still be a small player in his life, or more like his son's life. Leah looks out for all of the wolves' kids as if they were her own. And for that, they all adore her and Sam knows it's the closest glimpse that he'll ever get of 'what could've been'.

"How long are you going to be gone?" Sam asks looking down at his feet to avoid the impending glare.

"_Not_ that it's any of your business but a week. Jake already _knows_." Leah adds and Sam fights back the growl that is threatening to rumble forth from his chest. Of course, _he_ knows because it's _his_ business to always know anything and everything about Leah.

"You don't mind if I wait here with you, do you?" Sam asks looking up carefully at Leah. His answer comes in the form of a shrug and 'it's a free country'. He sucks in his lips to hide the huge smile that is threatening to come out as he leans against the wall of the shelter and one foot crossed over in front of the other.

The pair waits in a comfortable silence on the main road to La Push. There's a small structure, the unofficial La Push 'bus stop' on the 110 La Push Rd, made of wood that seems to sit out in the middle of nowhere. A few of the boys on the Rez built it sometime back to provide some form of shelter along the long stretch of road. The area was a pick up for those picking up friends without having to drive too far into the territory. Thus explains why Leah was out here waiting; Sue would pick her up from here and the pair would continue on to Colorado by way of the 101.

The music from Leah's phone plays in the background as an unobtrusive soundtrack to the gentle gusts of wind, the leaves and bracken swaying in the forest. A car drives by and honks it horn in passing. Leah throws a quick wave and Sam nods his head as he catches the hard, disapproving glare of the driver and his passenger. Sam is certain that did he not have heightened senses; he would've never noticed the looks.

Things had certainly changed since the pack split that has now put these two, once lovers, on different sides. Leah was no longer seen hanging around Sam but spending most, if not all, of her time with Jacob Black. The general consensus seemed to be that Leah Clearwater had moved on with her life and was no longer hung up over Sam Uley. Instead, it was viewed as the opposite had been occurring. It was _Sam_ that was trying to keep Leah all for himself, using the death of her father, her familial bonds and tribal duties against her.

The twist on things meant that Sam was looked upon with the hard frowns, unforgiving whispers and disapproving glares. He tried telling himself to just ignore it all, not pay them any attention but the truth was – it was true. Sam had looked upon Leah's transformation as one last hoorah, his last stand in keeping _his _Lee-Lee. He had the rare opportunity to look inside her thoughts and feelings. He relished in the power and impact he had over her life. Her feelings and pain is what kept reminding him that at one time in his life, someone loved him for _him_ and not because he was their son or their magical 'soul mate'.

That all changed when Leah followed Jacob and the tie that linked them was broken. Sam couldn't let go of his ego or his pride to give in and let Jacob rule all of the wolves. Now he was the one following _her_ around, vying for her affection and attention, not letting go of something lost. It's this attitude that has allowed Sam to keep track of Leah, always knowing where she is or at least in La Push or leech territory. He knew it, she knew it, Jacob knew it, the Rez _knew_ it; hell Emily probably knew it.

"So, uh, is your aunt from which side of the family?" Sam asks hoping to engage Leah into a conversation.

"She's on my dad's side," Leah answers turning the volume up on her phone. Sam looks down at the ground in between them. There's a hint of sadness in her eyes at the mentioning of anything related to Harry Clearwater. Even after all of these years the pain of his death hasn't left her. The one thing Sam Uley has ever envied Leah for is her close relationship with her father. His father left when he was only 8-years old and never remembered much of the man; except that he had big hands, hands that seemed to swallow his own little hand. "She's Daddy's aunt and probably one of only a small handful of Quileutes who'd actually remember Ephraim, Levi and the rest." Leah finishes up snatching Sam out of his quiet memories.

"Leah, I'm," Sam begins and finds himself stuck on what to say next. Was he going to apologize? Apologize for what? Wanting to suddenly hug her, hold her in his arms and shield her from life's pain? He knows that she'd never accept it as he's played a major role in her pain. Was he going to profess the true feelings of his heart? She'd only laugh in his face and he'd walk away with a hurt ego and migraine.

Before Sam can sort through his jumbled mind and feelings of what to say, Leah's phone rings. All thoughts are gone the moment he catches the small smile on her face as she answers it with a, "Hey Jake." The moment _his_ name is said Sam's body immediately tenses; the casual stance he had taken against the structure facing the road is gone. Sam immediately stands up to his full height, his brow furrows, frown deepens and he faces Leah body; his eyes watching her every movement, closely, intently.

"No, Mom hasn't shown up yet. I keep telling her to get a cell but she won't budge." Jacob says something on the other end that causes Leah to smirk. "Well, fortunately, _some_ people listen to me."

Sam's eyes narrow as Leah begins slowly rocking her hips side-to-side, the small smile on her face and the way her fingers lightly rub up and down on the strap across her chest.

"No, Jake," Leah sighs sounding exasperated. Her head lulling back as she looks up towards the sky, or rather the roof of the depot. The smile is gone replaced with a small pout?

_Since when does Leah Clearwater pout over Jacob Black?_

"Just stay there with _Nessie_," Leah sneers. Sam feels some sort of satisfaction in the fact that his imprint isn't the only one to aggravate Leah. "I _think_ I can stand at the depot by _myself_ without someone here holding my hand." Leah states with a sigh. "I'm not alone," There is more talking on the other line as Leah turns and looks at Sam with frustration in her eyes. "Sam here's waiting with me."

"Fuck, Lee-Lee," Sam hisses as his shoulders slump, his hands rest on his hips and he slowly shakes his head. Leah chooses to ignore Sam's slip of the tongue, watching slightly bemused as he runs a hand throw his shaggy hair before roughly rubbing the back of his neck. Telling Jacob Black that Sam Uley is _anywhere_ near Leah Clearwater only invites trouble. When the younger kids are bored and want to see a fight break out all they have to do is figure out where Leah, Jacob and Sam are. If the first two aren't together than there's only a matter of time before Jacob is storming across the Rez trying to find the two.

"_He's_ not even bothering me." Leah states in Sam's defense. "He's actually behaving himself. Look don't growl at me; fine you talk to him than." Leah snaps as she turns and walks up towards Sam with a smug smirk on her face. "It's for you." Leah says sweetly and innocently but the glint in her eyes says otherwise.

Sam's jaw clenches as he glares down at Leah and she places the phone next to his ear. All he hears on the other end is a low growling and he answers back with one of his own. Their interaction is like that of a dog having a phone held to his ear; he can hear the person on the other end but the contraption has no real meaning or understanding. There's no scent or view of the person that is on the other line and he only remains fixed in his position to satisfy the fancy of the foolish human.

"Well turns out he doesn't want to talk to you either." Leah says taking the phone back and widening the gap between them.

"Well if he _knew_ what was good for him, he'd not even be here." Jacob says coming out of the woods behind them. It's a threat that isn't lost upon Sam and despite the fact the wolf inside of him is begging him to back off, the human stubbornly keeps his ground.

The two males exchange their silent greetings with annoyance, frustration, aggression and dominance. The battle of egos is over the moment Leah declares the victor by leaning into Jacob the moment the distance between them is closed. Sam breaks eye contact first, his focus settled on the content smile on Leah's face as Jacob wraps his arm around her waist. His nostrils flare as realization dawns on him,

_Leah's fallen for Jacob_.

It's a realization that acts as a punch to the gut, followed up with a knee to the groin and just because he's already down and you have to make sure the job is done, a kick to the face. His brain tries to analyze the situation before him, there's some small part of him trying to convince him that he's overreacting. That's there's nothing wrong with the scene before him.

_They're just friends._

Sam tries to convince himself as he shifts his position so that his back is pressed up against the shelter's wall and he's facing the pair. Jacob comments on Leah's dress earning a slight blush that only leads to laughter. Confusion begins to build at the alpha and beta's interactions for both man and wolf. Both are aware that the male has an imprint, a soul mate, and yet he's able to interact with her freely.

Over time the black wolf has grown accustomed to the position of alpha; it's not the role he was meant to play or even wanted but it has become his life. Hostility has risen between the black and russet wolf that stems beyond the men's own bad blood. The russet wolf gave up his claim on the female and _yet_ he still has the audacity to treat her as if _she_ belonged to him. The female should belong to _him_, the black wolf, and, originally, did belong to his human before some higher power decided otherwise. The man has tried to challenge the russet wolf but the black wolf knows that they cannot win against the 'true' alpha; self-preservation is the key.

Sam watches with unabashed jealousy as Jacob sits down on the ground and Leah, without hesitation, sits on his shoulder. Smart-mouth comments are exchanged between the pair about the arrangement.

"Just further proof that _you_, my dear Almighty Alpha, are beneath _me_." Leah says smugly as she gently combs her finger through Jacob's hair.

"So _you_ say but just so long as I get to see them gorgeous legs of yours I don't care." Jacob states with a dark chuckle as Leah stomps on his thigh with her foot. "Sorry, sorry. Just don't fart on my shoulder." The comment causes Leah to blush as she yanks roughly on her Alpha's hair earning a groan of pain.

After some more smart-ass comments, insults and threats Jacob pulls Leah into his lap. Sam is hit with a sudden bout of dry-mouth as Jacob rests his chin on _his_ Lee-Lee's shoulder. The two sit, seemingly, oblivious to the other man's deep growling as Jacob and Leah whisper to one another. Leah's back pressed firmly against Jacob's chest as she plays with his hands; a pastime that they, Sam and Lee-Lee, used to do together.

Sam can feel his chest constricting as if all of the air around him is being sucked away. Common sense is telling him to look away, to _walk_ away from the situation; to not witness the pair's sweet and intimate interactions. But Sam finds himself locked in place, unable to look away as Jacob's hand lightly runs up and down Leah's leg; the way his hand can easily and casually grip her ankle before running up to her knee and back down again. Each touch is like a stab to his heart; Jacob wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her closer, rests the bridge of his nose on her shoulder, closing his eyes and inhaling her sweet scent. All of these small acts, a stark reminder of the opportunities he's lost and jealously wishes he could have again.

Sam is relieved as Sue's car pulls up and sharply orders her daughter into the car. Jacob stands up following Leah, his eyes softening as Leah tosses her bag in the back of the car. Sam also feels a sudden tug at his heart as the reality of the situation hits him.

_Leah is leaving_.

Since the transformation Leah hasn't strayed no further than Port Angeles and that was always with someone from either pack. Now, she was leaving _home_, the state – she was crossing a couple. Both men are snapped out of their melancholy thoughts as Leah's light laughter cuts in; her smile brightening up the somber mood.

"Don't look so sad; I'll be back." Leah says turning to face both of them.

"One week." Jacob states. Sam watches as Leah nods her head in agreement with a small smirk. "One week and you be careful." Jacob finishes up, his voice sounding distant and grainy as he pulls Leah in for a tight hug.

The two hold onto one another, their bodies seeming to fit perfectly together as Jacob kisses the top of Leah's head. The pain in Sam's body continues as the wolf inside of him is mourning the absence of their Alpha female. The two males maybe rivals but it has done nothing to completely break the spiritual bond that they share. The russet wolf's pain and sorrow is his own. The two stand together watching as she gets in the car and disappears down the road. It's odd and yet feels strangely normal for the two to be standing together, Sam slightly to the back of Jacob, watching over his reaction as if ready to support him at any moment now that _she's_ gone.

The silence is broken as Jacob's phone suddenly rings and he quickly snatches it out of his back pocket. Letting out a sigh, Jacob pushes a button silencing the ringing.

"Imprint," Jacob whispers as he stands looking at the black phone in his hand. "Let's just go home." Jacob says looking up at Sam and walking by him. The change in his mood and his uncaring attitude towards his imprint catches Sam completely off guard; so much to the point, that all he can do is follow behind Jacob. For a moment, Sam feels something deep inside of him; it's warm, all-encompassing and powerful, quietly rejoicing at the peace obtained between him and Jacob. There's that same quiet voice that has tried to guide his steps since the Cullens arrival, telling him that _this_ is how things should've always been. There is no guilt or feelings of regret that he's made the wrong decision in taking the position of Alpha; after all he was only filling in to keep order.

Although the two have been at odds for a great deal of their lives, it cannot be overlooked that they share a common bond, a union. They are brothers in spirit, heritage and heart. They both love the same woman but she will only accept one as her lover and mate. There's no doubt in Sam's mind that if Leah had a choice she'd choose Jacob Black and he'd choose her. The two have always been there for one another, always in the background for every major event of their lives. And even when it seemed that their paths would diverge, there was still something that pulled them back together. There is still a bit of jealousy and animosity that Sam can't help but harbor for Jacob Black because things probably wouldn't be so chaotic had he not been so reckless and contrary to all expectations of him.

* * *

He sits silently watching the small pack's exchange with one another. Nothing escape his sharp eyes; whether its Rachel's nervous fidgeting, Quil's hard stare, Seth's crestfallen face, Embry's careful gaze on _their_ Alpha and Jacob's slumped shoulders. He's always been observant and watching people is an art that he's perfected over the years. Sam sits watching closely, monitoring their movements and reactions. He raises an eyebrow as Quil throws a small package in the middle of the group on the table. Sam's mind begins to wander back to when all of this began; he wants to know when everything went wrong and they became a tribe divided.

All thoughts strangely lead back to Leah. Sam frowns as he tries to backtrack in his mind; Leah _can't_ be the cause of _all_ of their problems. Sure there would've been those that would've, without hesitation, pointed the finger at Leah blaming her attitude...but, that wasn't the case in the beginning. There was the initial surprise over Leah's transformation and yet, somehow, it all seemed to make sense. Leah's transformation was accepted without question by the, than, small pack. She had fallen right into step standing right next to Jacob as he was the last one to change.

* * *

_'So the stories are all true?'_ Leah asks sitting down next to Jacob after Sam finished explaining the whole situation to her, Quil and Seth. Somehow all three phased one after another, throwing the small pack into a bit of chaos. Jared had just arrived back from checking up on Harry as he was sent to the hospital. Leah and Seth's concern for their father is still an underlying concern as what has prompted his heart condition is still a mystery. The three newest members of the pack have been in their wolf forms for 3-days now.

The initial transformation always brings about a moment of chaos, confusion and fear. No one can explain it but there are so many thoughts and emotions swirling around in one wolf's head that it's hard to pinpoint _exactly_ who the new arrival is. The fact that _three _people phased all within a few minutes of another only compounded the problem more so. It's taken some time but everyone has calmed down; the colors have stopped swimming, emotions are no longer mixed and order has been restored.

Or some sort of semblance to it.

Sam sits across from the pack and cannot help but notice that somehow Jacob and Leah both are in the center. The others seemingly to be unknowingly flanking the pair that is sitting directly across from him. In the black wolf's view, it makes perfect sense for the alpha female to take her position next to the alpha male. The human, however, only sees the pack sitting in order of their transformation: Paul, Jared, Embry, Jacob, Leah, Quil and Seth.

_'So…what this means the Cullens are really vampires?'_ Seth asks letting out a low whimper. Paul chuckles at the cub's slowly building fear but stops as Leah growls at him.

_'Lay off, will ya. This is a lot to take in.'_ Leah huffs as she looks down at her and Jacob's paws. The others can see through Leah's eyes and thoughts her marveling at the difference in size.

_'All the better to paw you with my dear.'_ Jacob teases earning a few chuckles. Sam watches closely as Leah swats Jacob with her own paw or rather attempts to. All that really happens is Leah places her paw roughly on Jacob's massive shoulder.

_'So that means what?_' Quil asks leaning over and using his back leg to reach a scratch.

_'It means that it's our job to keep the stinking leeches off of our land.'_ Paul states proudly.

_'Yea, but we've still got a truce with the Cullens.'_ Embry says softly as Jacob moves his head and Leah's paw hits the ground.

_'There's a red-haired leech that's been crossing over into our territory.'_ Sam states as for some unknown reason a play fights erupts between Jacob and Leah. Sam groans as Seth watches excitedly and pounces on Quil adding to the raucous. The act seems to be an inherit reaction towards the transformation and borders on the lines of fighting for dominance or a higher position within the pack. They've all done it and Sam has been no exception; however, he has avoided challenging Jacob in the mock battle.

_'Gotcha, Lee!'_ Jacob declares proudly as he stands over Leah licking her face. Seth also finds himself in the dirt with a triumphant Quil standing over him.

_'Yea, yea._' Leah concedes rolling over to her belly.

_'Did you really think you had a chance against the Alpha?'_ Quil asks as Leah gets back to her feet, shaking her fur.

_'It was worth a shot.'_ Leah says with a poorly executed shrug. The comment leaves the seasoned wolves silent and frozen. There's a hint of apprehension, anxiety and expectation in the air around them. Sam quickly glances at Jacob, his thoughts having suddenly gone very quiet and his eyes seem to be having an internal debate.

_'I'm _not _the Alpha._' Jacob breathes out after a moment of silence. There's a hint of alarm and surprise as the three newest wolves all turn to look at him. Seth cocks his head to the side as the idea rattles around inside his brain. Quil also seems to share in the confusion and lets out a low, deep groan; whether it's of disappointment, frustration or just plain acceptance is never addressed.

Its Leah, however, that holds both Jacob and Sam's attention. Her body completely frozen, fur raised along her spine and hackles, eyes darkening and the once contently wagging tail has now frozen. There is angry disbelief bubbling at the surface of her thoughts that the pack can easily see and hear. Her thoughts, very much like Jacob's earlier, are silent and there is the same debate visible within her eyes.

_'Come again.'_ Leah says with forced patience. Quil, Seth and Embry all slowly move away from the pair simply upon instinct. Jacob hesitates repeating his statement as Leah turns to stand before Jacob. Her legs are stiff, chest puffed out and her lips are curled back in a menacing, silent snarl. Sam looks on silently, noting Leah's fighting stance that, despite her smaller size, she is very intimidating.

_'I'm _not _the Alpha; Sam is.'_ Jacob answers unable to look at the female in front of him. The pair's emotions are now fully out in the open for the rest of the pack to share in. Leah lets out a low and painful whimper expressing her confusion, disappointment and hurt? While Jacob has guilt rolling off of him. Neither truly understanding why they feel the way that they do but since when has emotions been rational?

'_Jacob! JAKE! Why?_' Leah cries out and the whine in her voice grows as the small silver wolf before him voices it. _'You're Ephraim's heir; you're supposed to be Alpha.'_

_'I, I don't want to be the Alpha.'_ Jacob states as he wills himself to make eye contact with Leah.

_'What do you mean you don't want to be the Alpha?_' Leah demands. _'I wasn't aware there was a choice to just dump your birthright.'_ Leah states, her voice dripping with harsh sarcasm and her fangs gleaming in the light moonlight. _'So…what? I'm supposed to take orders from Sam?_'

_'He _is _the Alpha.'_ Paul states as his eyes seem to sparkle from the hostility in the air. For once he's not the cause of the discord and it's interesting to see it from this end.

_'Oh no,'_ Leah says with a slight hysterical laugh._ 'Oh no, nononononononono. Oh HELL NAH!'_ Leah growls out, shaking her head back and forth quickly. _'I am _not _going to follow Sam.'_ Her words cut Sam deeply as he visibly winces at the tone. The confusion continues to build as all of the wolves can sense the discord between the alpha pair; the russet wolf has _refused_ not only his claim as alpha but over the female as well.

A small shiver of excitement shoots up the unrelated wolves' spine to the female. She's free to choose a mate rings inside at the back of their minds. The black wolf feels it more so and growls at the growing chaos around him. If the russet wolf will not step up and bring order than _he_ will. He'll carry on and will prove to the female that he's a worthy Alpha and mate; the tugging of the imprint is duly noted but pushed aside – for the moment.

_'Enough!'_ Sam orders. Standing up he prepares to move to get in between the two.

_'NO!' _Leah growls. _'I'm getting to the bottom of this. Why? Why can't you be the Alpha for like a few fucking months?_' Leah demands. The question brings all eyes back onto Jacob as it is a very good question. _'We kill the bad freezer pop chick and we're done; it's over!'_

The moment their eyes meet there's a flash of white skin, brown hair and chocolate eyes.

_'WHO THE FUCK THAT IS THAT?'_ Leah demands as the image of girl flashes across her eyes.

_'Oh shit, here it comes.'_ Paul mutters.

_'Bella Swan.'_ Jacob states.

_'WHO THE FUCK IS BELLA SWAN? Wait?'_ Leah says as she begins to share her own memories with the pack. _'Isn't that Charlie's kid? The freakishly pale, poorly coordinated, whiny retard?'_

_'SHE'S NOT A RETARD!'_ Jacob snaps as the fur on his hackles rises at the insult.

_'Oh, you're right. I shouldn't insult the mentally handicapped like that. They have a condition while she's just a _fucking _moronic _bitch _who went all comatose and _god-damn_ walking zombie because, because the some fucking poor-excuse-of-a-boyfriend left her pitiful ass.'_

_'Sam left _your _pitiful ass.'_ Jacob snaps and a collective 'ooh' erupts.

'_You're right that Sam did _leave _my ass. But believe me Black, my ass for one, _isn't_ pitiful. My ass is spectacular and that one sad, cheap feel you got over the summer is the closest _you'll_ ever get to perfection.'_

_'No, way. I thought he made that up.'_ Quil thinks.

_'She does have a great ass.'_ Paul thinks to himself but is still shared with the others.

_'Secondly, my wonderful ass and _I_, did not and I repeat did _not _sit up in my room just staring at the blank wall like some _mother-wanna-be-fucking_, oh wait…_vampire-wanna-be-fucking _cunt-ass bitch.'_

_'Instead, you cried and threw a fit.'_ Jacob snarls back.

_'Cried, yes, threw a fit, absolutely. But guess what? It wasn't the end of my fucking world or my existence.'_ Leah snaps back as she begins pacing back and forth in front of the wolves. _'If Sammie wants to fuck my cousin then so be it. I just don't want to be a part of it or even _witness _it._' Leah threatens as her cold, hard glare fixes on the black wolf. _'Life _isn_'t fair, Black. So you suck it up, man up and face whatever freight train is coming.'_

_'Oh, yea, well _I _have a choice, Clearwater. And I choose not to be Alpha. Sam is – end of story!'_ Sam flinches as he feels a power behind Jacob's words that immediately shuts Leah up.

_'Fine! If _he's_ got a choice than so do I,_' Leah says turning and facing Sam. _'Since, we get a choice of whether or not to follow our birthright than I choose to pass on mine as well.'_ Alarm is the only reaction to Leah's words. _'Fuck you and _fuck you_.'_ Leah says glaring at Sam and then Jacob flashing an image of the middle finger at both of them before turning to storm away.

_'Can, can she do that?'_ Embry asks looking around at all of his brothers.

* * *

Sam groans as he comes out of his thoughts. Leah _had_ tried to stop but he stepped in and forced her to join the pack. He used the Alpha command on her and the moment the words passed between them, he felt horrible. The black wolf knew that _they_ had no right to order the Alpha Female around and did very little to try and cross her. However, considering the already strained relationship between the human male and female that was next to impossible.

Sam had tried to keep order within the pack. The pack had a taste of order and balance in those first few moments of the pack introduction and it was all snatched away ruthlessly with Jacob and Leah's argument. Sam continued working to keep the peace but things only continued to spiral more and more out of control. Leah could _not_ be tamed and Jacob, simply, refused to listen.

Leah was an eternal dark cloud hanging over all of their heads. Her frustration at being at Sam Uley's beck and call turned her vicious and cruel. Blame was laid everywhere for…well, _everything_. Jacob didn't step up, Sam didn't step down, Paul wouldn't shut up, Jared was forever teasing, Embry was too damn quiet, Quil was a horny bastard and Seth was a fucking ball of furry sunshine.

Shutting his eyes tight, Sam tries to block out the old thoughts, feelings and memories of those days.

_Was he the problem?_ Mainly, he wants to do away with those feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. Despite his father's history, Sam always strived to rise above it and be the better man than Joshua Uley.

_Was it his relationship with Leah?_ Leah boosted his confidence even more just in the love she had for him; she was strong, supportive, caring, loyal and a fighter. Leah stood up for Sam when others would put him down or compare him to his father. He felt, correction, he _knew_ he was the luckiest guy on the Rez to have Leah Clearwater by his side - which is why Leah _couldn't_ be the entire problem. As daughters of Elders, Leah and the twins all carry with them a certain power and clout. As times have changed, each woman has the potential to hold a spot on the Council but the power is transferred to whomever they marry. A Uley-Clearwater union would solidify the heritage of Sam's descendants from the very moment Leah would say, 'I do'. It's not always a pleasant thought, that part of the reason for a relationship is for an added seat of power but it wasn't a realization that could not be overlooked either. Leah knew that some boys only talked to her because of the power that one could achieve by landing Leah Clearwater. In fact, that is part of the reason why the twins left the Rez; neither wanting to be caught up in an ego-driven farce-of-a-relationship.

Selfishly, Sam enjoyed Leah's snappish comments and cold attitude towards all males that _dared_ approach her. He knew that in her eyes none of them were worthy of her and the simple idea only succeeded in stroking Sam's ego; _he_ has been the only one worthy of her. Leah dating, however, was a serious blow to the ego which only left a raw wound. The more guys she dated, the more tender the wound became as a reminder that whatever affections Lee-Lee had were long gone.

_Or maybe it's been Jacob?_ The wound was further irritated by the continued presence of one Jacob Black. Sam couldn't understand nor explain it but despite the growing animosity between Leah and Jacob; she _still_ chose to follow him. Jacob Black had an _imprint_, Bella's daughter, and yet he still was forever around Lee-Lee, _his_ Lee-Lee. When Leah started dating there was a brief moment of hostility between the two packs; Sam can't explain it but everyone seemed to be on edge the moment word got out. Fortunately, or rather _unfortunately_, not everyone acted on the growing aggression except for the two alphas.

Jacob had warned Sam to stay away from Leah and Sam had responded back with a comment about Jacob not keeping a better watch over her. The comment led to another and the two went back and forth; each vying for the right to lay claim to Lee/Lee-Lee. The end result was a fight where Jacob, of course, came out as the victor.

Neither male ever truly understood what prompted the battle or what even they were trying to accomplish. All Jacob earned, in his mind, was the right to gauge and size-up each of Leah's 'boyfriends' thereby deciding whether or not they were worthy of _his_ Lee. None of them ever were. The truth being a smug realization that lasted only for a moment as anxiety would step in and the question of '_who_' would be worthy of her would take over.

The question of who would hold Leah's heart has also weighed on Sam. In the back of his mind and in his gut, he's always known the answer.

_Jacob_.

Opening his eyes, they narrow as Sam glares darkly at _his_ Alpha's back. Jacob has always had Leah by his side and he took her for granted. Leah was everything for Jacob and did anything for _Jacob_. For a while, he did the same for her. On the Rez, one was never without the other and if so it was never for long. They just complemented one another and seeing them interact was just – natural. A thought hits Sam, acting as an epiphany, 'natural'. There was always a natural order to things and when one goes against the order there is chaos, confusion, disorganization and dissension. He's always wanted to keep order and balance; after his father left it was Sam's job to keep order within his own home. His mother wasn't always strong enough to deal with the pain and loss of her husband. Is _this_ what Sam was meant to do? To help Jacob keep order within the pack? If Jacob can find balance will it bring Leah back? Will it put all of their lives back on track? Were their lives off track? Had they all grown so accustomed to the disorder that they wouldn't recognize order if it came up and introduced itself?

_Help him_.

The small quiet voice of wisdom echoes inside the back of his mind. It's not a suggestion, pleading or even sage advice - it's an order. Letting out another frustrated groan Sam concedes to the voice; he'll finally listen to it and see what comes of following this voice.

* * *

A/N: Alright so here goes the next update. I gotta admit that this isn't my favorite chapter out of the entire story...it may in fact be my least favorite. Maybe it's because Sam isn't a total ass. Yes, Ses, yes I do feel your pain. Blackwater fans are supposed to loathe Sam but he's coming off as so...ugh, damn him. But, I didn't hit my 40+ reviews for the last chapter meaning that my bribe didn't work or just that everyone is busy enjoying (in the States) the Labor Day weekend. Which I will not begrudge anyone but I also know that school has officially started so some people will fall behind.

But...I think I'm done with Sam for a while. Next chapter will get back to where we last left Rachel and the Renegades along with a bit of Leah and John. I just need to finish up on the polish work for the next chapter (as long as I don't get roped into some sort of family outing) and should have it ready for...either Monday or Tuesday. Preferably, Monday because the next DVD for True Blood comes on Tuesday and I'll be spending my evening watching that with my sis. Then again...my niece has started playing soccer...and I'm supposed to help her with her kicking, blocking, trapping, passing and dribbling. I'm hoping that the coach will have read up on the game soccer before her next practice. It's no fun having nine 3-4 yr old throw soccer balls at you and you're the only _one_ working with them.

So...uh, yea, that's all that I got right now. Now if I catch me a nap now, that should allow me to be well-rested to go see the fireworks with the family and like 5 other toddlers. -_-; Which will give me time to stay awake and keep on playing Final Fantasy XIII. =3 Ah, there's nothing more glorious than a 3-day weekend.


	15. Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

* * *

Rachel continues sitting looking from one pair of dark eyes to another; each demanding to know what information they have for their missing female. The only sets of eyes that jab at her heart the most are, of course, those of Jacob and Seth; both of their eyes carrying a hint of desperation to them and a _need_ to know where Leah is. Mentally, she's kicking herself for not getting the hell out of dodge when she had the chance. Sure, she's a grown-ass woman but that didn't seem to mean anything to Sue Clearwater. If word got out that the boys knew where Leah was at there would be hell to pay. HELL!

But then there's also the matter of Leah, herself. Leah was the combination of both of her parents, the tribe-oriented, loyal Harry and the out-spoken, no-nonsense Sue. Leah had sworn Rachel to secrecy about her whereabouts. Rachel wasn't supposed to say anything about her disappearance to _any_ members of the pack. "Not _even_ Paul." That was her stern command and even though Rachel wasn't a wolf, she felt the urge to obey it. At least the guys were taking the knowledge that Rachel knew of Leah's new home fairly well. Paul blew up at her, the two argued and yelled at one another. Paul was angry because it meant that Rachel had been lying to him about Leah stopping by to check up on her while he was away at work. He had thought that if anything happened to Rachel while he was away that Leah would know what to do – and she would but _she wasn't there_. They had, in a sense, agreed to disagree; Rachel apologized for lying to Paul about Leah and Paul would…well, that was still a work in progress.

"There are five of them, right?" Quil asks snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. Quickly she looks up at him, eyes wide and shocked. The others also look to Quil as he sits calmly but there's a definite fire in his eyes. "Five guys or pack mates. Twins, too, right?" Quil continues on pushing, cheek resting against a closed fist.

"How do you know that?" Rachel asks suspiciously not liking the look in Quil's eyes.

"A little bear told me or more like _showed_ me." Quil states, his frowning deepening as he tosses an envelope up on the table. The envelope lands with solid thud, drawing all eyes to it and there's a moment hesitation. Rachel quietly curses under her breath as Jacob reaches out and snaps up the envelope before she does. Opening it up, he realizes that it's filled with photos and the first photo on top causes him to freeze.

_Leah_.

Looking at the picture, Jacob sees Leah smiling back up at him; the warmth of her smile and happiness touching him in a way that he's missed for all these months now. She's waving at the camera, a hand held up by her ear keeping her hair out of her face and the other raised just a bit below her chin. Jacob eyes it carefully, soaking up all the details; her hair is longer. Her eyes are shining with that glimmer of victory or pride; like she's accomplished something. Jacob gives his own half-hearted crooked smile back at her, he's proud of her for accomplishing whatever it was that she had set out to do, and he wishes he could hear her laughter that he_ knows_ accompanies the picture.

Putting the picture down, he moves on to the next and finds another picture of Leah. She's distracted in this picture, her head is turned looking away, giving the camera a look at her profile. Her full lips turned down into a slight pout, eyebrows raised in a curious questioning or wondering and her shoulders lax. She's sitting on a fence in a pair of jeans and black tank top. Jacob continues looking through the pictures, one by one of his beta, the woman he, admitting too late, loves and is somewhere _with_ someone else. His chest constricts as he can't help but wonder _who_ is taking all of the pictures. Even though he is grateful for a glimpse of her, there is still that jealousy that he's not there watching and experiencing all of these events that are unfolding with her.

Seth smiles at each picture of his sister, happy to see that she's safe and sound in every single one. He fights back a whimper as he notices the brightness in her eyes, even when she's _obviously_ annoyed with someone; gone is the tired and forced feelings of content. A huge, dry lump forms in his throat as he thinks about how he continually ignored the emptiness in her eyes.

_She's happy_. Seth can't help but notice.

Embry looks at each picture and tries to ignore the numbing ache that reminds him that his heart is not his own. Every picture of the woman he loves, smiling happily is a painful reminder of the opportunity lost. He's grateful that she allowed him the little bit of intimacy that they shared the night he told her of his feelings; it was the greatest make-out session he'd ever experienced.

Rachel looks at the pictures over Jacob's shoulder and finds it hard to stop smiling at the woman in them. Leah's smile has always been contagious; a trait that she shares with her brother. Rachel recalls once joking with Leah that she'd make a great therapy wolf for the old, young, sick and dying at a hospital. The two women laughed at the idea of a silver wolf the size of a horse trying to maneuver past EKG machines and not trip over IV tubes. Some poor soul's life support machine would become unplugged or worse, some pervert would die of a heart attack the moment she phased just to get in without, supposedly, causing more damage. Rachel's vision becomes blurry as she comes upon the realization that she misses her best friend so much. Leah's her sister, the only one that'll talk to her, go shopping with her and will eat that bit of food that Rachel _knows_ she shouldn't have.

Quil watches as the group looks at the pictures closely. He stopped by Makah to pick Claire up from school and bring her back to La Push for the weekend; it made patrolling easier when he knew that Claire was surrounded by the rest of the pack. She had come running out the doors, her eyes dancing with excitement and a huge smile upon her beautiful face. Claire had given him a big hug before jumping in the backseat of his car, fastening her seatbelt and desperately began rummaging through her backpack. Quil watched his little 'Claire-bear' in the rearview mirror heading towards the Clearwaters as she pulled out a huge manila envelope. He couldn't help but watch with amused curiosity as she tore into the package as if it was Christmas morning; her eyes shining with tears and excitement as she uncovers a book. He recognized it as a scrapbook, Leah had started scrape booking as a hobby and the realization made him suddenly break.

It wasn't easy getting the information out of Claire but eventually she relented and told Quil where she got the book from. Claire weakly stated that Auntie Leah didn't want anyone else to see her book but Claire and the rest of the kids…and Rachel. But during her long winded explanation she'd let it slip that Jacob, Eli, David, Jared and Sam had all looked at the first book. As she continue prattling on during the drive she talked about how much she missed her Aunt Leah as slow, fat tears rolled down her red cheeks.

"I miss her a lot, Quil. So much." Claire's voice continued ringing in Quil's head as the image of Claire vainly trying to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

There wasn't a return address on the envelope but Quil had managed to sneak the extra photos away from Claire when she wasn't looking. Leah always kept duplicates of pictures, in case she cut one wrong, or wanted to pass on to someone else. All that really matters to him, however, is stopping Claire's tears; while the wolf inside him wants the female back to restore balance.

Quil's eyes narrow for a second the moment he catches Jacob's body tense and his brow furrows.

_Good, he's seen the new pack._

Quil hasn't been able to identify each member of the pack but just by their sheer size it's easy to tell who the alpha is out of the lot. Jacob lets a low, deep and angry snarl escapes his lips as his eyes shoot up and lock onto Quil's. The anger is a given but there's an even darker look inside of Jacob's eyes that makes Quil quickly break eye contact and look towards the others at the table. Seth and Embry are both confused on what has brought about their Alpha's rage but have a good idea of what it could be. Rachel's eyes have widened and her mouth is hanging slightly open in a small 'oh'.

"Is this _him_?" Jacob demands. Quil feels his stomach clench tightly and his body feel suddenly cold at the rage and unfamiliarity in his cousin's voice. For a moment, Quil regrets bringing this to the group's attention as the picnic table begins to tremble around and under them.

Jacob looks down at the picture of Leah with five other guys. It's the man in the center that has the hairs on the back of his neck standing up and his teething grinding. He's the tallest of the pack, standing in the center surrounded by the others. At a glance, it's obvious that he's confident, serious and expects respect – a _real_ alpha. Up until now, Jacob and the wolf inside of him had never seen another alpha before; Sam was a substitute that the human allowed to continue playing his charades all for the sake of their female. If they had only claimed their female than reuniting the packs would not have been an issue because the boundaries would've been clearly defined and the wolf would've handled the black wolf if he felt the need to touch that which wasn't his.

Jacob quickly assesses each member of the pack trying to find any noticeable weaknesses within their human forms. They were all muscular, lean build except for the one with the deep russet colored skin, that one was sheer bulk and muscle. One was small compared to wolf standards and neither man nor wolf can tell if it's because the smallest male is younger or has reached his full height. Jacob's nostrils flare as he commits each _smiling_ male face to memory; these are his targets, his enemies and the alpha is his rival.

Putting the picture down to allow the rest to see what they're up against he directs his attention to Rachel. Rachel's anxiety is now spilling forth from her to the point that he can taste her fear; hear her blood rushing and two heartbeats pounding desperately. If he was sitting close enough to her, he'd be able to feel the baby inside of her belly kicking and jumping expressing to its mother the adrenaline that is being shared between the two. It's too much for the baby at the moment.

Rachel's thoughts rush wondering what should be done. She's confused and, for the first time in the history of her existence, she's afraid of her brother. There hasn't been much that Jacob has been denied since becoming an alpha; Leah has been the only one to tell him 'no' without receiving any sort of aggression.

* * *

The phone rings breaking the quiet and immediately there's the rumbling of tiny feet moving quickly. Rachel looks over her shoulder with a small smile as Alex topples over one of his toys in his mad dash to answer the phone. He's only 5-years old but he has it in his mind that answering the phone is some rite of passage to becoming a 'big boy'. Drying off her hands Rachel slowly moves towards the phone and tries to fight back the growing smile as Alex moves closer and closer.

"NO, MOMMY!" Alex yells from the hallway as he's suddenly in sight of his target. "I'LL GET IT! LET ME! LEMME!" Alex screams desperately as his words run together in his excitement.

"Alright, alright." Rachel says with a loving smile as she throws her hands up in mock surrender.

"Hello, Alex speaking." Alex gasps out in between breathes. Rachel goes back to finishing the dishes; it's Alex's 5th birthday today and many people have been calling to wish him a happy birthday. There will be no party this year with all of the vampire/wolf goings-on but Alex seems perfectly fine with that arrangement. "AUNT LEAH!" Alex screams excitedly as Rachel freezes and whips her head around. Alex is standing, more like bouncing up and down excitedly on the balls of his feet. His dark brown eyes shining full of excitement, joy and unconditional love for the woman on the other line. "Mommy, Mommy its Aunt Leah and she's singing happy birthday to me!" Alex whisper-screams as he pulls the receiver away from his mouth.

Rachel finds herself frozen in her place in…what, disbelief? Of course not because she knows that Leah could never forget the birth of Alex. Maybe it's because it has been so long since the two best friends have talked to one another; Leah fearing that Paul would answer the phone which would only bring about more drama. Alex's laughter rings out as he tries to convince his Aunt Leah that he's only 5-years old and not some other outlandish age that's either too old or too young. It feels so surreal to hear her son talking to the woman that has the entire pack in an uproar.

"I miss you, Aunt Leah." Alex states with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Mommy and Daddy miss you too." Alex continues on snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. "Uncle Jake," Alex begins but is cut off as his mother walks over.

"That's enough, Alex," Rachel says nervously quickly snatching the phone from his grip. "Hey, Lee, how's it going?" Rachel asks as Alex throws a tantrum wanting to talk to his Aunt Leah.

"Hey Rach," Leah answers apprehensively. "I'm good, can't complain really. I just wanted to wish my little Lex a happy birthday." Leah says and Rachel smiles hearing the happiness in her voice.

"Well I know the fact that you remembered means a lot to him." Rachel says waving a scowling Alex away; a look that he's learned from his Aunt Leah, no doubt.

"Well just because I'm not in La Push doesn't mean that I've forgotten about everyone." Leah says confidently.

"Your _boy_friend hasn't made you forget about us, yet, huh?" Rachel asks teasingly.

"Aunt Leah can't have a boyfriend." Alex grumbles next to his mother. "She's _mine_."

"I don't _have_ a boyfriend." Leah states.

"Well, what about your French speaking beau, Jean Paul." Rachel asks with a thick French accent earning a loud burst of laughter from Leah.

"They are two different people," Leah explains, "John, not _Jean_, is the alpha and the oldest and Paul is the youngest."

"I envy you living with twins." Rachel continues on teasing. "The same good looking guy but doubled."

"Speaking of good looking guys," Leah says after chuckling along with Rachel and her desire to gossip about Leah's 'living' arrangements. "How are things down there? Mom says that the wolf's out the bag that I've gone AWOL."

"Yea, everyone knows but you _didn't_ go AWOL." Rachel says with a sigh.

"_We_ know I didn't but I'm sure Jake and Seth think otherwise." Rachel feels her heart bleed for her friend as there is a hint of guilt and regret in her voice.

"They just miss you, Lee." Rachel states simply in some attempt to try and ease Leah's pain. The two women continue on laughing and talking about life in general and reminisce about days when they were both younger.

"So you're happy up there in Canada, huh?" Rachel asks after calming down from a good hard laugh.

"Mm…yeah, yeah I am." Leah admits confidently. Rachel feels envy well up inside of her at Leah's freedom but then it is quickly swallowed up by a sense of pride; she's proud of her friend for finally taking the initiative to see the world. Rachel knows _she_ had her time out in the world and she doesn't regret leaving home for one moment. Leah lost the opportunity before it was even within her grasp. Her college acceptance letter to WSU arrived 5 days _after_ her transformation, 3-days after Sam had forced her to accept her position within the pack _and_ 2-days before Harry died of his heart attack.

"I'm glad to hear it, Lee. You deserve it more than anyone else here that I know." Rachel says quietly. The two women enjoy a quiet moment on the phone each to their own thoughts.

"Well…I need to get going to work. I'll talk to you later, Rach, I promise." Leah says quickly. Rachel smiles as she hears Leah moving quickly around within her space, grabbing and knocking things over in her haste.

After they said good-bye, Rachel sat looking at the phone with a small sad smile on her face. She missed her friend and knows that Leah will _always_ show up where she feels that she is needed most. She was there when Rachel found out that Paul had imprinted on her, when Jacob was broken over Bella and _even_ when Sam had put Emily in the hospital. Leah seemed to be a constant figure in their lives whether she was in the foreground or the background, she was there but only when she was needed the most.

* * *

"Rach," Jacob calls snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. Shaking her head slowly, Rachel turns her focus back to the four men before her. She's known them all her life and has watched them grow up, she'd missed a part of it while she was away at school but Leah was there to keep an eye on them.

_Is that what they miss?_

"Why do you guys want to know? What will you do with the knowledge?" Rachel asks and takes in each of their reactions. Seth looks surprised by the question and seems unsure of how to answer it. He's _not_ sure what he'd do with the knowledge. He wants his sister back home –

_She belongs here with me_.

But he looks down, picking up the picture of Leah sitting on a couch, her image forever frozen in a moment of absolutely happiness. In the picture she's laughing so hard to the point of tears and Seth feels his heart break because he can't remember when was the last time he saw his sister _that_ happy.

Embry sits within his own thoughts, mulling over Rachel's question, sorting through his emotions and his baser instincts. Much like the rest of his brothers there is a desire to go find what is theirs and bring it back.

_She's not a possession and no one _took_ her away from us. She left on her on_.

Things have been changing so rapidly within the pack that most times Embry reverts back to quiet nature. He doesn't say much to his imprint and neither have she. Leah was seen as some dark, chaotic force within the pack in the beginning; the way she could easily slip in and slowly tear them all down. Whatever confidence they may have developed because of their abilities she'd show up and push them off of their mental pedestals sending them crashing back down to earth. Paul was cocky but it was a given that if it wasn't for Leah he'd be an even bigger ass than he already was; as hard as that is to believe.

Leah later brought about a change in herself and Jacob by becoming his beta. She stood beside him when the others were against him or uncertain. She didn't follow him because she liked Bella Cullen or that she _adored_ Jacob Black like Seth did. She followed him because she didn't agree with what Sam was doing for one and, of course, the rest were for her own personal reasons. But Leah didn't support Jacob blindly and foolishly. She made her thoughts and opinions known; when she didn't agree with him than she'd argue her point. Leah made Jacob become more involved in the Council.

Embry quietly realizes that Leah was a vessel of change. Her leaving has brought about an even bigger change than anyone could've anticipated. Her absence has pushed Jacob to go even further, to accept his birthright, fully, and become the man the tribe will need when Billy's time is up. The wolves are slowly making stands against their imprints, the women that they've catered, coddled and caved in to time and time again. The Cullens were no longer calling the shots and their _rules_ were now null and void. The pack wasn't in complete harmony and that was probably because they were incomplete without Leah around or maybe because Jacob's emotions were subtly affecting all of them but there again Leah was needed to provide that balance.

Looking up at Jacob, Embry frowns and can't help the rush of jealousy that overcomes him. Embry _knows_ Jacob could've had Leah if he wanted to and right now he's not even sure if Jacob hasn't had her at some point. Yet, somehow Jacob Black had owned a part of Leah Clearwater that he, himself, had later tried to take for his own. His punishment for overstepping his bounds was his imprint. A growl rips from Embry's throat as he thinks back on the day he imprinted; he'd seen this girl almost every day for the last 6-months with no sort of feelings towards her outside of the thought that she was 'cute'.

His eyes widen and his nostrils flare at the realization that it wasn't 'love at first sight' but something else. If it wasn't _love_ than what was imprinting? What was its purpose? Imprinting was supposed to be rare and yet 16 out of 17 wolves had all imprinted. What separated them from their forefathers? Why were they unable to make the decision on their own? Who was at the top of the hill and got the ball rolling? These are questions that Embry feels need to be answered amongst those who have imprinted.

"_I_ won't do anything." Embry answers. His voice cuts through the thick silence and his answer is greeted with mixed emotions. Rachel and Seth both look relieved but its Jacob and Quil that both are giving him hard glares added with growls of disapproval. "It'd be nice to know that she's safe – for certain." Embry says focusing on Rachel.

"I'm with Embry." Seth admits, his voice sounding tired. "She looks so happy in these pictures. I – I _want_ her back here at home, I do. But…I want what's best for her first." Seth answers with a small smile as he looks down at a laughing Leah. It has been a while since he's seen his sister laugh but he's never forgotten the sound of her laughter when she's like that. He remembers the way it rings all around you when you're near her and how infectious it is making you want to laugh along with her; even if you don't know why.

Quil sits back quietly, his eyes narrowing and his teeth grinding together at his two brothers' responses. They were supposed to side with him and Jacob in a united front to bring their sister back home. Claire missed Leah and there wasn't much Quil to do to bring her out of her sadness once it started. His imprint was hurting and he was willing to do anything to bring about an end to the pain and loneliness.

"She belongs _here_ with us – not some other pack." Quil growls fixing a disapproving glare on Embry and Seth.

"How do you think she found this other pack?" Jacob asks. Even though they've all expected him to speak up at some point to give his answer they are all surprised to hear his voice. There is no underlying alpha command, no growl, hint of annoyance, frustration or indifference towards those around him. The soft smugness when he mentioned that Leah loved him is also gone as is the sadness that they've grown accustomed to hearing in his head whenever his thoughts wander to Leah – it was the 'old' Jacob before Bella and imprinting.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Quil snaps.

"I don't know?" Jacob answers back with a warning growl of his own. Quil takes the hint, his shoulders slumping and head bowing in submission. "I'm just curious how she knew to find them. What are the _odds_ of finding another wolf pack?"

"Her wolf spirit led her to them." Rachel answers. It was the same question that Rachel had for Leah when she received the first call after Leah had left. "She did what you did when you ran away from home and Bella. Her wolf took over and led her to this new pack." Rachel is careful _not_ to give away Leah's location just in case her brother decides to side with Quil.

Jacob sits quietly thinking over the information; his wolf hadn't led him anywhere except just _around_. Sure he had hung out in Canada but it provided the most cover for his massive size. It was a given that he'd return home eventually; he just wanted to come back on his own terms and _not_ because Sam wanted him to or the others begged him to. Leah _hadn't_ said anything while he was out running even though there were times where he came back to himself and she was running patrol. She didn't _try_ to make small talk like the others. Instead, she wrapped him up in a blanket of images of the forest, the ocean, the sky and the rez. She didn't make him feel guilty for being gone by showing places like his home, Billy, his mother's grave or even the untouched Rabbit. They were just small images of the Council hall, the bonfire pit and the huge pine tree out in the back of tribal school.

Leah didn't push for him to come back home than but the relief she felt when he did return was unmistakable. While the others bombarded him with questions of why, what was it like and how? She stood back quietly watching the exchange. When he finally approached her he found himself relieved that she wasn't angry with him.

"Everyone just needs some time away to think, to vent, to work some things out and find themselves." She said after a few moments of silence. There was no bitterness or anger in her voice when she finally spoke. He recalls looking at her in surprise as she chuckled at the dumb look he was giving her. "I just hope you found yourself out there, Jake. I hope you found your peace to put you back on the right path." Her voice was so soft and deep at the same time. It seemed to echo and resound around and off of him with gentle warmth that made it feel as if she was all around him and inside of him.

"How will I know I did that? Put myself back on the right path?" Jacob asks inching closer to her, his voice low as if they were sharing a secret that no one else was allowed in. Leah's hazel eyes were drawing him in and they seemed to hold a hint of knowledge within them that made him feel as if he could trust her; that she'd not only advise him but also guide him and travel with him.

"I don't know." Leah states with a shrug of her shoulders, her voice sounding higher and a hint of attitude lancing it. "I don't think anyone ever really knows until they get so far down that path." Leah finishes up with a small frown, looking straight ahead, her eyes unfocused but still holding that knowledge and, almost, wisdom.

"Will you tell me when I'm wrong?" Jacob asks and the moment the question passes his lips, he regrets it. Leah turns to look at him with a dark, smug and mischievous grin upon her face. With the dancing fire not too far off from them he can see the wild, feral and wolf inside of her and he shivers uncontrollably.

"Oh, don't worry about _that_," Leah says reassuringly as she wraps an arm around Jacob's shoulders, closing the gap in between them. Jacob feels himself blush as he feels Leah's tit press into his side. "I'll _definitely_ tell you when you're being stupid; like I've always done."

Leah did just that, she kept her promise and always told Jacob when he was in the wrong; wrong about Bella, about staying in the Cullens' home, giving into the Cullens' rules and avoiding home. It pains him now to realize that Leah _did_ know what path he was supposed to be on but he was just too stupid and stubborn to realize it.

_It's a shame that I've had to lose her to realize where I was _always_ supposed to be_.

"_His_ name is John." Rachel speaks up bringing Jacob out of his memories and self-loathing pointing at the tallest man in the picture. Jacob looks down at the picture that he's been holding in his hand. He studies the face carefully, committing it to memory as the light grey eyes darken and the angry words they exchanged weeks ago rings in his head.

The wolf inside of him fidgets anxiously dueling with the desire to _finally_ claim what has rightfully been his all along and to challenge this alpha to prove his dominance while on the other side he fights to keep hold of _her_. The ties that have bound their spirits to one another weaken with each passing day. It's as if he's grasping at wet, slippery straws and his desperation only grows with each attempt. She's fighting him and his hold; she desires to be free of her obligations and duties. Inside he knows that she has every right to want to move on and blaze a new path of her own; it has been his own fault that everything is so out of whack but _she_ has been his one constant. Even though he's a spirit warrior, over time he cannot deny the fact that he's grown along with his human host; as Jacob has taken on some wolf qualities as has he taken on some human qualities. The pack isn't enough; she's his security, his life line and path back and forth between the two worlds, spirit and human, that they inhabit.

But if there's one thing he's learned since becoming Jacob's spirit warrior it's to be patient. It's something that the human will have to learn without the aid of his imprint. It'll be his job as the Alpha to show his pack the path that they've all stepped off of. Both man and spirit will have to prove themselves to their pack, family, friends, tribe and most of all _her_ that he can be the man he was always meant to be. He'll let her have her fun and eventually he'll learn to let her go just enough so that she can go out and have the fun and freedom she seeks. He _will_ convince her that he loves her more than life itself.

This feeling of warmth welling up inside of the russet wolf begins to resonate outwards from Jacob's belly, traveling to the tips of toes and the top of his head. The unusual calmness from his spirit gives Jacob a sense of ease as he puts down the picture of Leah and her new pack. He does not _fully_ comprehend what it is his spirit is telling him but he can appreciate the peace that is filling him.

"She's safe and happy with…John, right?" Jacob asks looking at Rachel for confirmation. Rachel nods her head slowly. "That's all I need to know right now." Jacob says standing up from the bench. He ignores the stares of disbelief from everyone at the small table and instead picks up a few pictures of Leah alone. "Tell Claire I'll give these back to her later on." Jacob says nodding at Quil as he turns and walks away.

Jacob begins walking down the road headed towards town with a small smile on his face. In the end, he knows that he's _always_ loved Leah. His love has developed, changed and evolved over the years tap-dancing between romantic and platonic. The imprint _has_ clouded his judgment and he was wrong for letting himself give in so completely. But during it all he's seen and has learned what real love is all about through Leah. Love is selfish, unselfish, angry, bitter, happy, sad, determined, honest, straightforward, and harsh, it's a map to life and road of pain; but most of all its unconditional. Leah's happiness and well-being is what he really wants for her in the end. When she comes back to La Push that is what he'll tell her.

_Leah, I love you._

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A/N: Phew, so I finally got this out. You guys have NO idea how hard this was considering how I fell asleep twice at my laptop. This has been quite the past two weeks since my last update. So just to let you know what's been going on. Tuesday, last week, my aunt passed unexpectedly on the same day she was supposed to be released from the hospital. There is STILL no funeral date set up and so I have no idea what is going on since my cousin is supposed to be taking care of all the arrangements. So that kind of stole my thunder for the next couple of days. Then this weekend was the Official Twilight Convention in Chicago! W00T! I got to meet Kiowa, Bronson, Michael Welch and Nikki Reed. I was hours too late to meet Alex. ToT I was so disappointed. I love Kiowa and Bronson but Alex was the only reason behind me going. But I still had a blast and got to meet bvc17.

For some reason, Twitter is being a Isabitch about me uploading the pics so I've had to go to Facebook...which is being a bit of a lesser Isabitch than Twitter so...yea...if you want to check out the pics that are CURRENTLY posted then PM me and I'll let you know my name.

But after that GREAT weekend hugging, smiling and getting pictures taken. Btw, Kyle Dayton from the Hillywood cast! OMG! He has got the PRETTIEST brown eyes I have EVER seen. The first time I got my picture taken with him I couldn't look him in the eyes because I was SO focused on his chest. LOL. I was so embarrassed after walking away and realized what had just transpired. After that I _promised_ myself that I was going to make eye contact with this and EVERY OTHER HOTTIE I come across. I mean how sexist can I be? *thinks it over* Well...hehehehe, alright so I will never blame a guy for checking out the girls ever again. I've lost the right to be mad. LMAO. But I finally did it the second time and MAN! I'm glad there were no glass doors, randomly placed objects or a flight of stairs for me to fall down and embarrass myself on. But getting back to Kyle, let me tell YOU all that he is soft, warm, hard and yum~my. I mean like his skin, around those glorious abs, was so soft but the muscles were MMMM...GOOD! *sings the Campbell soup song* ROFLMAO

But you all should go to the convention just ONE time. Sadly, bvc17 I STILL can't afford Orlando but NEXT YEAR! Oh, next year if Alex or Chaske or Taylor will be there. Believe my ass will be there!

OH! And getting to Chaske so he's got this new cut that can be viewed at (http :/ jacobblack - n-pack . ning. com/ with no spaces) to check out this...this...*breaks down into tears* I don't know WHAT it is. I mean is it supposed to be a emo, Adam Lambert cut? But just to describe it to you (and yes, I'm literally doing this as I type) take your hair and comb/brush it forward in front of your face. Okay? Then from like the center-top of your head make a part coming down at an angle to remain 1/3 of the hair left on the right-hand side. Okay, then imagine after that weird and disproportionate part then cut the hair into like a bob but it only gets shorter and shorter further...back? Some girls are saying it's growing on them but not ME!

Chaske, I love you enough to tell you this, IT DOESN'T WORK! YOU GROW IT BACK, NICE AND SHAGGY! YOU HEAR ME! DO YOU HEAR ME! If anyone sees him anytime soon pass that message on to him FROM ME! Yea, that's right. I'll own up to it. I'd tell him to his face if I could track him down. I can't run my fingers through THAT! T-T Don't ruin our love before it's too late. *whispers softly* Don't do this. We could have such beautiful black and brown babies. *nods head* We could!

Alright, so now that I'm done letting the lecherous part of me out. The final reason for my delay in updating is that I've recently joined a gym to help get in shape for my sis's wedding on...GET THIS! August 13th! I called her a Bella/Edward poser for picking the same wedding date as them. But I've gone twice already this week; Tuesday and today. And BOY has he been kicking my ass. I mean...like...I don't know...? Is that normal to be so dazed and confused after exercising? No? Really? Huh...well anyway to prove how serious we are about this; my sis's goal is to run a 5k marathon while mine is to POWER WALK the same 5k marathon. Look at me setting long term goals. ^-^

So again sorry for the delay but sometimes 'shit happens'. Had a great time at the convention and you all should go. Want to check out my pics and earn a friend on Facebook than just PM me and BOOM! You get my glorious mug added to your friends' list and see my random posts about life, family and...o I FORGOT MY BFF'S BDAY! Alright now I'm back. Chaske's hair? PM me about it after looking at it - yes, it has become my latest Twilight obsession. And...uh, Kyle is hot, Chaske is ruining the chances of him being allowed to impregnate me (pfft, HA! As if that'd ruin anything) and uh...gym is kicking my ass and with 3-times/week sessions that will cut into my ME time. Kei's "Me" time = updates. Awh, so sad but better late than never, right? So read AND REVIEW! Review is love and really I've enjoyed PMing everyone and getting to know all of you. ^-^ So...be my fwiend? *bats eyes*


	16. Stirring Emotions

Stirring Emotions

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. HOWEVER! However, I would've...damnit, I lost my train of thought thinking about Taylor's body and those luscious lips. Eh...give me A for effort. =P**

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The music is on, simply playing in the background and it's not even a tune that he recognizes; he doesn't listen to much music as he'd rather listen to the natural music of nature itself. But since Leah's arrived it's become somewhat of a luxury and a very nice form of entertainment. She loves to sing and dance; however, she is very careful not to do it too much in front of her pack mates. Ted was the lucky one to have walked in to see Leah dancing to the fast playing music on the radio; his eyes quickly taking in the sway of her hips, the quick and confident steps of her feet moving to some rhythmic pattern and the smile, not only on her face but in her eyes. It was a secret memory that Ted

_had_ tried to keep to himself but one slip up around Paul and it was broadcasted all over – which is saying a lot considering how the pack only consists of the six of them. Paul had thought it was his beta duties to share with his brothers a hidden talent of Leah Clearwater.

Leah had blushed profusely in Ted's memory when she realized that she had been caught and was even flustered. John can't help but smile at the memory because her cheeks had turned a soft red that made her skin glow and her stance was that of awkward embarrassment; her right arm hanging stiff while the left hand grasped her right arm just above her elbow. It was strange because Leah was, without a doubt, one of the strongest women John has ever known but the few times where she let slip a hint of vulnerability it excited him. He feels pretty certain that Leah would probably snarl, snap and not talk to him for weeks if he, or _Paul_, let it slip out that he found that those small moments of weakness to be sexy. Maybe it's because she's always trying to stay on top of things, like her studies, or prove that she's able to hold her own, by always challenging Gio to a wrestling match – which she still had yet to win at. It's not that he wants to be her knight in shining armor…but…he would if she ever needed him to.

Lisa had called him that once, her 'knight in shining armor', because growing up she had been picked on continually because she was always klutzy, accident-prone and had to wear a retainer. She was even teased more because her family was dirt poor on the rez and she had to 'borrow' a retainer. To be honest, he was one of those kids who teased her mercilessly growing up but one day he found her crying in the woods. Her dark brown eyes shining with tears that seemed to flow like a huge river. He remembers the way her bottom lip was stuck out in a childish pout and her skinny arms and bony shoulders were hidden under a cloak of dark, straight hair. From that moment on John decided he wouldn't make fun of Lisa anymore and he, in fact, surprised everyone, including himself, when he stood up for her. It seemed that all Lisa had ever really needed was a 'friend', someone to stand by her, up for her and walk with her; that _one_ person who, no matter what, would be there for her, to let her know that she had someone who cared for her, about her and believed in her.

"You've helped me find my path, John." Lisa had told him out the blue one day as they were walking home from school. They were both teenagers at that point and Lisa had grown out of her awkward, klutzy, ugly-duckling stage and was becoming a beautiful swan. John was envied by all the other boys, even though they weren't dating at the time, because he got to hang out with Lisa and she actually paid him all of her attention.

"I don't know how." John said shrugging his shoulders as he continued walking. He didn't know what she meant and didn't think he'd done a whole lot; gone were the days where she was picked on by the other kids. He walked her home in comfortable silence and then his whole world had changed. Lisa had done something he never expected or planned for; she kissed him. It was a sweet, simple kiss but for some reason it hummed throughout his entire body. After that, Lisa had become more than just a 'friend', she soon won his heart and he's certain his soul.

Shaking his head of the thoughts, John comes back to the present and takes in a deep calming breath.

_The past is the past_.

Lisa was a wonderful chapter in his life and he'd do it all over again if he had the chance. Sure he'd love to be able to change _that_ night but 'everything happens for a reason' and it was Lisa's time. John shuts his eyes tight and tries to combat the pain, anger and regret that he still finds himself harboring over that night. He's wanted to let it go because it does him no good to keep it locked up. Besides he's always telling Leah to let her pain go.

"Hey, I'm home." Leah calls as she walks into the kitchen.

"Hey," John greets turning around with a huge smile on his face. He loves it when she walks in and declares this place as her 'home'. It's only been five months since she first arrived and he can never get over how quickly and seamlessly she's fallen into his life and his pack. "Hungry?" John asks as Leah sits down at the table with a heavy sigh.

"Yea." Leah simply answers giving him a weak smile before fiddling with her fingers. He frowns as a sense of dread falls over him like a blanket and he walks up to stand beside her. She's been kind of down lately and her mood has him worried. She seemed mildly alright after her first sleep walking or rather 'spirit walking' incident a few weeks back but it seemed to affect more than just her sleeping habits. Leah was having a hard time keeping up on her assignments and paying attention in class. She'd sit at the table or at a booth and instead of focusing on the paper in front of her, her eyes were staring off into the wilderness – she was distracted and it unsettled him.

"Is everything alright?" John asks lightly rubbing Leah's back.

"I – I don't know." Leah admits looking up at John and there in her eyes is that hint of vulnerability that takes his breathe away every time. "I just…I flunked another quiz." Leah mumbles as she reaches into her bag and pulls out the offending paper. John looks at the paper with a frown; it's Leah's philosophy quiz. She was surprisingly _good_ in philosophy, at least according to Leo she was.

"How – how'd this happen?" John asks pulling up a chair and looking at Leah with concern.

"Isn't it obvious?" Leah snaps, snatching the paper away from John and growling as she balls it up. "I'm an idiot. I shouldn't _be_ in college."

"Hey, hey! Don't do that." John says back stopping Leah's hand and taking the crumbled up mess from her. "And _you're_ not an idiot." John states as he opens it up and smoothes it out. "I saw your high school transcript and _you_, Leah, are _not_ an idiot." John says with a soft smile, taking Leah's chin into his big hands and raising it.

"I _can't_ focus." Leah mumbles.

"Well…maybe it's because you've not phased much lately, yea?" John asks slowly. Since the last incident John has been very careful about Leah phasing alone. Her spirit seemed dead set on leaving and he couldn't just stand aside while Leah fell prey to the whims of her spirit. Spirits were meant to act as guides and voices of reason in the darkness; _not_ just take over their host and lead them wherever the hell they felt like going. Leah only shrugs her shoulders, her eyes focused on the paper in between them signaling her failure at a normal life in deep, blood red letters and number – the number 0.

"Maybe it's just been so long that I can't go back?" Leah questions out loud as her eyes narrow and there is small nudge deep within her belly as if in silent agreement.

"Don't talk like that, Lil' Lee." John says taking one of Leah's hands into his own. "Come on, I've got something to take your mind off of that stupid quiz. Cook with me." John says standing up and pulling Leah with him.

"Okay." Leah says with a quick nod as the two head towards the counter. "What's for dinner?"

"Chicken cacciatore." John states with a wink as Leah looks over at him with wide eyes. It's one of her favorite dishes to make. "_This_ is our date." John says bumping Leah with his shoulder playfully as the two wash their hands.

John can't help but smile as Leah looks up at him with a sweet smile on her face and her eyes shining brightly. Gone is the heavy, solemn look of depression, sadness and hopelessness. He had thought of many options for their first date but nothing seemed to fit _them_ right. He had thought of just doing the simple dinner and movie but they both worked at a restaurant and plus he couldn't talk to her during the movie. A club was too loud, crowded and it unsettled his spirit with the bright, flashing lights and mixed smells of desperation, sex and cigarette smoke. John had finally just decided to keep it real simple and basic as Leah probably wouldn't have appreciated if he'd done something too…what - extravagant? She was a simple girl who liked to carry her own weight and doing things on her own; so cooking dinner together just made _sense_.

The two get to work, talking about nothing and everything, cracking jokes and even arguing over the amount of spices.

Leah smiles as she watches John quickly and efficiently cut the peppers that will go into the pan. This recipe was actually something that she'd happened upon while hanging out in Jacob's room one day. They had just finished a pack meeting and she was too content snuggled up in her alpha's bed to leave and he didn't seem too hard press to just leave her there either. As she laid in Jacob's bed, her face partially buried into his pillow he sat on the floor reading a magazine, occasionally, asking her questions to make sure she was still awake. She had teased him about what he was reading saying that it was probably porn and it was a test to see if he could still get it up.

"Oh, I can still get it up." Jacob had simply stated with a dark chuckle. Leah had only rolled her eyes at the statement and instead grabbed a hold of Jacob's sheet and wrapped herself up in it. For some reason she just loved the smell of his sheets and had he _not_ been there she probably would've rolled around in them. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed?"

"Is that what _that_ was supposed to be?" Leah asks from underneath her sheet. Jacob had laughed at her remark but tossed her the _Men's Health_ magazine he had been reading. She flipped through it and found some of the articles to be really interesting, the guys in the ads were definitely good looking and there were even some recipes. One of the recipes in the book was for chicken cacciatore and as it was Leah's night to cook for Billy, Leah decided she'd try it out for him. It was an easy recipe to follow and Billy, in fact, loved it – as did Jacob who decided to stay in La Push for dinner instead of going to check up on his spawn princess. Billy had teased and harassed Jacob for sticking around, accusing his son of ruining his 'special time with Leah'. Leah had laughed at the comment made but Jacob seemed to not appreciate the comment and didn't miss Leah cooking a meal until after the Aunt Emma incident. But it was a meal that she made often for the three of them.

_But that was in the past_.

Looking over at the man beside her, Leah smiles warmly thinking about how much John has helped her. He's given her a home, welcomed her into his pack, gave her a job, helped her get into school, saved her life…and he's even, somehow, found a way for her to get some of her past grievances off her chest. And now the two of them were on a date; it wasn't anything great but the simplicity of the act really warms Leah's heart. Although her mind is telling her that _this_ is a bad idea, that he's a wolf and will probably imprint. However, her spirit, the wolf inside of her remains silent on the subject. There is no growling or frustration when thinking about John and the others imprinting – almost as if there's no chance. Turning her attention back to the man beside her, Leah wonders if _this_ is her path? Whether it is or not, she's not going to sit back and lose it because of her walls and past.

A smirk graces Leah's lips as he notices John's attention turned towards the pot that their ingredients will be added to. Her eyes narrow as she focuses in on one of the sliced bell peppers and her hand quickly reaches out snatching up the treat and popping it in her mouth. Her movement is quick and noiseless but it somehow still draws John's attention.

John turns back around to see Leah looking in the opposite direction; he's not sure why but he has this funny feeling, almost a suspicion, that Leah is up to something. His senses aren't alerting him to any danger or threat – not even playful that involves his bodily harm, but it's still…something. Shrugging his shoulders John returns back to his task of cutting another pepper as Leah works on the onion.

As he turns to tend to the slowly simmering ingredients does he catch it out of the corner of his eye. His body reacts before his brain really has a second to process what exactly has transpired and he notices Leah busily chopping, her head down but her muscles just a tidbit tense. If he wasn't a skin-walker he's certain that he wouldn't notice her muscles tensing slightly under her copper skin.

With a frown he looks down and it's when he notices that _two_ of the sliced peppers are missing. There is a hint of frustration and annoyance in him that Leah has been sneaking food from him behind his back _and_ that he's just now becoming aware of it. However, he finds her sneakiness and playful attitude to be warming, adorable and a challenge his wolf will gladly accept. On top of that the longer he stands trying to process what is actually going on does Leah find it harder to keep her cool, calm and innocent composure. He can see her lips being sucked and her shoulders shaking slightly in an attempt to hold back her laughter.

John decides to play along and act as if he hasn't figured it out yet; technically, he has no proof to accuse her of sneaking food. Although he's certain the moment he confronts her she'll burst out laughing giving up her front.

"Lil' Lee, are the onions about done?" John asks and Leah simply nods her head before looking up at John with a huge smile on her face. He can't help but return the smile and dumps in all of their ingredients together. John's heart begins to quicken as Leah scoots closer to watch their dinner cook.

John feels a touch of disappointment when it appears as if Leah is done with her game and the two continue on talking. John finds himself slipping into an easy and comfortable interaction with Leah that borders slightly on the flirtatious; it's interesting because John was never the one to flirt much with the females. The subtlety of their touches and words is a part of him that he's never used even around Lisa – it's natural and it leaves John wondering what will happen next. He's always been the thinker between the twins, over-analyzing and dissecting; his instincts were meant to be followed while he was on patrol.

Then again his wolf has had some passing interest in the other girls on the rez but it was never anything that seemed to appeal to both man and wolf, mind and body. Leah, however, easily answered both. Sliding down to get something else, John sees Leah's hand quickly dart out towards the pot and as he turns around, he notices her eyes are narrowed, cheeks puffed out and a hint of oregano sauce on the corner of her mouth. Before he can say anything about her odd behavior his hand almost knocks over the bottle of wine and he turns his attention back to the task at hand. By the time, he's back; she's already cleaned up the mess and is innocently leaning on the counter, her eyes shining brightly up at him.

_Oh, she's good_.

The wolf inside of John growls playfully at Leah's antics; she's quick, cunning and clever. She had lulled both of them into a false sense of security by giving up her game and taking John's attention away from the missing items. It's another one of her traits and characteristics that he loves about her; even if he does find it to be a bit underhanded and immature.

"I've never had someone cook for me the way you have." Leah states as she moves behind John and grabs a bottle of juice from the fridge.

"What about Sue?" John asks and deep down inside he's curious about _him_, Jacob.

"Well sure my Mom cooked when we were younger," Leah says with a shrug. "But…after my Dad died she kind of stopped. I'm sure part of it was that Seth and I had phased – I patrolled double to cover for Seth so that he could focus on school." Leah admits with forlorn look thinking back on the past. "But then she started back up again just for Billy and Charlie."

"Who's Charlie?" John asks with a frown. He's heard plenty of Billy; Billy Black, Chief of La Push and Jacob's father.

"Charlie's an old friend of my dad; police chief for Forks – he's white and so he doesn't spend much time on the rez like he used to." Leah clarifies as John nods his head. "He was chasing after my mom for a while there but that fell through." Leah states with a hint of a dry chuckle.

"Really? How'd that make you feel?" John asks curious to hear about another part of Leah's past.

"Well he was Bella's father, the girl who _wanted_ to become a vampire." Leah states with a shrug her eyes focusing on the intricate pattern in the countertop. She's not given much thought to Charlie Swan in many years – his part in her life was a trying one that she's tried to forget. "I think Mom didn't realize exactly _what_ he had planned for her and when she did – she ended it right there."

"Oh…I see." John says softly noticing Leah's lack of interest in the subject.

"But during that point I was cooking for my family, Billy and the pack. It was just _one_ of the few ways I could help Mom out around the house." Leah continues on with a shrug and smiling up at John. "But because I was feeding a pack of hungry wolves I just started eating as I cooked." Leah says reaching into the pot and taking out a piece of chicken.

John notes her giggle as she puts the morsel in her mouth; one of his pet peeves is when his brothers try and sneak a bite before the meal is ready. He growls at her at playfully smacks her hand followed up with a 'don't do that'.

"I can't help it. Old habits die hard." Leah adds with another giggle and just to be a brat she quickly reaches out again for the pot.

"Didn't I _tell_ you, no?" John asks with a low, deep snarl on his lips. Leah sucks in her lips trying to fight her smile as her heart races. John quickly pins her in between himself and the counter, his hands each holding onto a wrist and a low growl rumbles from his chest. "You just don't listen." John states slowly shaking his head.

"I can't help it…it smells so good." Leah says shaking her head in her own defense.

John isn't sure exactly why it happens but he presses his body up against Leah, his skin tingling as she lets out a soft squeak from their contact and he brings his face closer to hers.

"Can't help it, huh?" John asks, his voice getting deeper and huskier. "I can understand since I can't help doing _this_." John says and he quickly begins tickling Leah's sides, armpits and neck. Her laughter rings out in the kitchen as he laughs along with her, enjoying watching, feeling and hearing her wiggle, squirm and struggle under his touch. He continues his tickling assault until Leah is in tears, trying to make her body into a tight ball and begging for him to stop.

"John! JOHN!" Leah cries out, out of breathe and her sides aching from her uncontrollable laughter. She breathes out a sigh of relief as John stops tickling her and gently picks her up; her arms locked, tense, at her sides in case he decides to attack her again. His chuckling makes her entire body vibrate as his hands leave her sides and combs through her hair trying to find some sense of order to her appearance.

"You know what, Lily?" John asks using the nickname that has been unanimously agreed upon by the pack for her; her old pack called her 'Lee' but Gio had taken upon calling her Lil' Lee and shortened became Lily. "_You_ smell really good." John breathes out against Leah's hair. He follows her scent down to her shoulder, his lips lightly grazing the exposed skin before traveling up to her neck. Leah's soft gasp only acts as a small push encouraging John to bury his nose into the crook of her neck and inhale deeply; her scent is intoxicating and smells so sweet.

It's been so long for the two of them to have had such intimate contact with anyone. Their bodies both ache and scream out for more; Leah allows her head to roll back giving John easier access to her neck and he smirks placing his hands on her hips and planting a soft kiss on her neck. Her taste is so sweet and he greedily attacks her neck wanting more; her soft moans only making his first exploration of her even sweeter.

There was talk of there being 'no expectations' but that conversation is quickly forgotten. John kisses up Leah's throat, moving up to her plump lips and he groans softly the moment he reaches his goal. He can taste the sauce on her lips; wrapping his arms around her waist he pulls her closer, his tongue lightly grazing her bottom lip requesting access to taste the rest of her mouth. Leah hesitates for a second but she parts her lips and feels an ache in her stomach the moment their tongues meet.

There tongues do not fight for dominance but instead move together in a silent dance. Their tongues caress, curl and touch one another; in a way that makes both wolves inside of them excited and heated.

There is a need for air but John tries to combat the pull back; he doesn't want to break this moment he's sharing with Leah. Her entire being seems to have him wrapped up tightly in a blanket; it's a feeling he's not experienced in a while. It's been so long since he's been intimate with a woman – Lisa, actually, ever being the only one. His body aches for more as he pulls back and the two are gasping for air, foreheads touching and arms locked tight around one another. With a growl, John quickly turns off the eye on the stove and lifts Leah up placing her on the counter.

Leah tries to find her common sense, logic or some sense of intellect as her legs immediately part the moment her ass touches the counter. John is quick to fill the space, burying his nose back into her neck and sucking on her pulse point as she wraps her legs around his waist. She gasps the moment she feels his erection pressing against her, now wet, sex. The female wolf inside of her is excited by this contact from another male that's _not_ the russet wolf; as she's always been whenever the human female went out on a date.

Leah's hands slides down John's muscular chest to the hem of his shirt. Gripping his shirt tightly, Leah uses it as leverage to scoot her body closer and John obliges by aiding. He captures her lips as her hands slip underneath his shirt and her fingers spread out running up and down the contours of his abs. He growls as her hands move up to his chest, pulling his shirt along with it. John pulls back from their kiss and looks on with dark grey eyes as Leah licks her lips looking back at him, the tips of her fingers dancing quickly and teasingly across his nipples. Removing the shirt, he looks down at Leah and lets a small smile as his hands slip underneath her shirt, roughly stroking the skin around her hips.

His cock aches as she moans with his touch, her legs tightening, pulling him closer easily. Her eyes, usually, a soft, warm hazel are now a dark brown. She's not only pulling his body closer into her but she's now trapped his mind and soul. John watches on in silent awe as his hands move higher and higher up Leah's sides and her back arches at his touch. It intrigues him to watch the beautiful woman before him, give herself up and to him; Leah's always so in control.

"John," Leah breathes out. Trying to control his lust, John groans as he kisses Leah deeply and tries to fight back the strangled moan as he feels her fingers dance dangerously close to the fasten on his jeans.

"Dear Lord, man, don't swallow the poor thing." A deep voice booms out snapping the two out of their heated moment.

John curses to himself as he feels Leah's body stiffen and just as quickly, the tone, strong legs that had him wrapped up tight are gone. Looking down, he finds Leah's head hung low and judging by the flush on her chest –

_She's embarrassed. Great, that's just great._

Looking back over his shoulder, John fights the irritation when he sees his pack all grinning at him – shit eating grins, to be exact; all but one. Rolling his eyes, John turns around crossing his arms in front of his chest, blocking Leah from their gaze. It's not that she's indecent but for some reason he just doesn't want _anyone_ seeing her in her heightened and aroused state.

"What are you guys doing here?" John asks narrowing his eyes at his pack.

"Well…_I_ live here." Paul states smugly and John feels his nose begin to heat up, a blush starting to pepper his face, as his twin brother gives him _that_ look. The unspoken question being, '_Did you touch her tits?'_ Paul only laughs at his brother's embarrassment as John looks away quickly, his brow furrowing and his bottom lip sticking out in a childish pout.

"I didn't _know_ we were interrupting such a precious and heated moment." Gio states as Leah hops down from the counter and slowly steps out from behind John.

Laughter rings out in the kitchen as Leah and John both stand side-by-side blushing. The quiet dinner for two is over before it even got started but John promises Leah that he'll make it up to her; both knowing that John could easily _order_ them away but it would only increase the pack's amusement to know how badly Alpha and Omega want some 'alone time'. They all sit down, eating together, laughing and talking but there are mixed emotions among the pack. John can't shake his irritability at his brothers interrupting him and Leah. However, his irritation seems to only be heightened by the dark look that he occasionally receives from Ted. John isn't sure exactly what is going on with Ted but decides to address it at some other time.

Ted sits watching both John and Leah closely; the wolf inside of him growls anxiously as it feels slightly torn between two decisions. Ted cares for them both but…

_This isn't right_.

* * *

Leah sits up in bed with a start, her heart pounding, her body covered in a light sheen of sweat and her throat is dry and feels tight. She groans as she falls back on her pillow fighting back a bout of tears and the scream that is itching and clawing to get out. Sitting up, grabbing the glass of lukewarm water she swallows it down letting the liquid wet her tongue, throat and hopefully settle her stomach. The nightmares were starting back up again and, as always, Leah finds herself unable to recall what they are about; or even if it's more than one. Picking up her phone she checks the time and huffs at the glowing light of 4:17AM shocking her retinas. As she holds her phone, she moves to the contacts list and her eyes immediately falls on 'Jacob Black'. Biting her bottom lip Leah debates over whether or not to press the name on the screen before her; it's still early back at home and more than likely he was sound asleep laid out next to his Nessie. But, again, there was that quiet voice telling her that he could bring about her comfort – same as always. Letting out a sigh, Leah presses the button and puts the phone up to her ear. It's been so long since she's heard _his_ voice and even if it's his voicemail it'll be enough for her.

Jacob sits on the edge of his bed, his eyes burning from unshed tears, his leg bouncing anxiously and his breathing heavy. The night terrors were supposed to have stopped – weren't they? It'd been so long since he had awoken from his sleep with such a start. The only thing that would calm him down at this point would be Leah but she was nowhere around. He wondered for a moment if she even suffered from the images anymore? Was _he_ holding her, soothing her and chasing away all of her fears like they used to do for one another? A growl erupts from his throat but is cut short as his phone suddenly rings. He sits glaring at it for a moment feeling his anger and frustration build with the fucking, spoilt asshole that was calling him at this ungodly hour of the morning.

_Renesmee_.

He'd not seen his imprint since he lashed out at her and the fact that she took his warning seriously was enough to make the wolf inside of him smirk. But it certainly didn't stop the endless calls from both mother and daughter. Either Bella or Renesmee were forever dialing his number trying to get him to talk to them. Billy had suggested that he just get a different phone number but he knew that the Cullens would be able to get it one way or another. Grabbing the phone, he flicks it opens and growls out a greeting. There's no voice on the other end but he does hear a slight hitch of one's breathe.

"Yea, what do you want?" Jacob demands harshly as he rubs his eyes. "Look I ain't got time for this bullshit." Jacob snarls out angrily.

The person on the other end remains quiet but he can hear them breathing. He frowns deeply as his heart begins to race and his palms suddenly feel clammy. His eyes widen as a slow realization hits him and he finds himself unable to speak at this most crucial moment.

_Leah_.

He wants to tell her that he misses her, wants to know that she's alright, if the new pack is treating her right, is she coming home and most of all does she miss him as much as he misses her? There's so much that needs to be said and as he opens his mouth, that has feels like it's full of cotton, there's a dry chuckle on the end. His heart skips a beat recognizing the sound of her laugh regardless of whether it's forced, sarcastic, uncontrollable or even…annoyed. Shaking his head quickly, whether it's to get rid of the cotton-mouth or maybe shake his voice free, he lets out a small strangled noise as he stops to hear a soft 'go back to sleep, Jacob. Sorry for waking you' and the line goes dead.

"Lee," Jacob breathes out much too late. "Leah." Jacob calls out again as he knocks his fist into his forehead trying to fight back the wave of built up emotions back. "No, no, no!" Jacob says quickly, shaking his head, rocking trying to hold back the impending onslaught. He goes to call log hoping to have the phone number that she's called from and feels his hope shattered when the number comes up as 'Unknown'.

Flipping the phone closed, his fist closing tightly around it causing the casing to crack a little under the pressure and burying his fists into his eyes he feels a sense of hopelessness and loss wash over him. There is no comfort from the spirit within; a sense of despair fills his lungs as breathing becomes a labored chore. His eyes and nose burns as he tries to fight back the loneliness that is surrounding him, embracing him tightly like _his_ Lee would've done had she been here – here at home. Loneliness sits on one side and Despair sits on the other and surrounded by nothing more than memories of a woman gone, Jacob breaks down letting the emotions take over him. He cries and cannot find the strength or will to even keep it all in and it shatters like a piece of glass hitting the floor.

The only emotions Jacob has allowed out have been anger, frustration and solemn indifference. Happiness has only come in the form of old pictures of Leah in her most casual and nonchalant moments where her walls came down and she was Harry's little girl, Seth's big sister and the prettiest girl on the rez again. Now all of the pictures do are act as grim reminders of how much his life has changed in a matter of a few months that he's spent with his head up Renesmee's ass doing anything and everything for her. The new pictures are painful reminders that she's moved on, she's not just run away from the life of a wolf but she's continued it on with someone else. Maybe that's what the hurts the most is that he, _they_ weren't enough for her. Realization that it was never the life of a spirit warrior that she despised but it was just _them_. Crying out her name, Jacob holds himself and apologizes to her over and over again. He promises to make everything better, to do what's right and be a stronger person if only she'll just come back.

_Please come back home_.

Billy lies in his bed as big silent tears rolls down his cheeks. He hears his son's cries, pleading and begging for Leah Clearwater to come back and his heart bleeds for him. This is a pain that Billy has experienced all too well and he's not decided whose pain is greater, his or Jacob's? Billy had spent quite a few nights crying for his wife, Sarah, begging and pleading with her, God, the spirits – hell, _anyone_ that would listen to the pain that was in his heart. There was nothing that he wanted more than to have the woman he loved right back beside him. Sarah had helped him to grow into the man he is today and despite the arguments they had and _didn't_ have, they were still a team. They were partners, equals in their relationship; carrying one another through every trial and detour in their lives. Billy has sat back for years and watched Jacob and Leah's relationship grow into what could've easily become a life-long love that only death should be able to break. Leah was to Jacob what Sarah was to him; a partner, a life jacket, comforting arms and the harsh reality. While Billy had lost his wife to a car accident, an act of God or maybe a bad decision on both parties, Jacob had lost Leah in the worst possible way – she consciously made the decision to leave.

As there is a loud crash in Jacob's room, some objects being broken and smashed, Billy turns over and prays that somehow all of this will work out in the end; that somehow _Jacob_ will figure out what he wants and needs to do. Billy will try to help him out as much as he can but he cannot tell Jacob how to feel about himself and Leah. The fact that she called, although may fill his son with pain, it gives Billy hope that no matter what the distance her thoughts are still on her alpha. Billy lets out a heavy sigh of relief as the noise quiets down in Jacob's room, his bed creaking under his weight as he lies back down and the tension slowly dissipates within the small red house. Billy can only hope and pray that his son doesn't suffer a setback or will try to close himself back inside of a ball to keep the pain away; Jacob was never one for dealing with pain or rejection. Bella Swan made him run away and Billy feels a cold chill take over him as he wonders what Leah could make him do.

* * *

Leah's breathe had caught the moment she heard his deep and familiar growl. She wished she could say that she was relieved to hear his voice after so many months apart but the cold, harsh tone makes it clear that she's made the right decision. Jacob doesn't need her and never did. And she's called at an ungodly hour interrupting his sleep probably with Renesmee cuddled up next to him. Leah lets a dry chuckle escape her lips as she shakes her head, silently cursing herself for making such a foolish decision. It's obvious that Jacob didn't 'have time' to deal with anyone that wasn't his imprint. There's only one thing that Leah can do at this point and that is end the conversation here and now.

"Go back to sleep, Jacob." She orders with a soft smile. "Sorry for waking you." And without waiting for a response back she hangs up the phone. It's strange as she thinks back over her words. Years ago before Renesmee was born it was the only command that Leah would bark out to Jacob. He was so nervous and frightened for Bella's safety back then; he was pacing the forest floor at a maddening pace. Leah chuckles as she remembers that it was like watching a caged animal at the zoo that had nothing else to do with itself but keep up the monotonous routine. 'Go back to sleep, Jacob' she had told him once again before jumping up and, literally, blocking his set path. Nudging him with her nose had seemed to snap him out of his trance and he complied opting to lay down in the spot that she had previously occupied. That was the first night that they slept curled up together and even then…it felt right.

As time progressed and the nightmares picked up, the same order was given. She'd go to him or vice versa and after a few hours, of what she assumed was a light slumber, she'd find Jacob intently watching her. Turning to snuggle into his chest, she'd give the order and with a deep chuckle he'd comply. The point is she's never said the words so far away from him before and she wonders for a second if they still hold the same power now as they did then?

Shaking the thought from her head, Leah gets up and heads towards the bathroom. It's hard for her to believe that she's been gone from home for almost 5-months now and Jacob is the first wolf that she's actually said something to since leaving. She's called and wished those who have had a birthday a happy birthday; fortunately, figuring out their voicemail password is real easy as it's always the imprints birthday. And after she makes the call to a wolf, she immediately gets her number changed so that the Cullens can't track her down. It's a huge frustration and pain for Sue but she understands why it needs to be done. Over the years, Leah has seen the Cullens interact with one another and those around them. They have serious 'attachment' issues and will go to great lengths to ensure that whoever belongs with them gets what he or she wants. All it would take is Jacob and/or Seth putting in a request for help in finding Leah and she's certain that they'd be outside of either one of her classes or her job with fire in their eyes and harsh words on their tongue.

Pausing for a moment, Leah peeps into the room to see Paul laying sprawled out all over his bed wearing nothing but a dark pair of boxers. There is a light snore filling his room despite the pillow that is covering his face. Shaking her head, she moves further down the hall and stops in front of John's room to find him also sleeping soundly. Leah can't help the small smile that creeps up on her lips looking in at him; he's fallen asleep with one of his books opened and a pencil in his hand. His mouth hanging open has more than likely left a puddle of drool on the notes or assignment that he was working on.

Moving on Leah steps into the bathroom and begins brushing her teeth. John has fallen asleep while studying one of his accounting books and yet she finds herself unable to even crack open one book to seriously begin studying. Leah sighs and wishes that she's had John's habits or drive. Lately, it's been so hard for her to remain focused on her studies and maybe it's because she's been a wolf for so long now that she can't remain cooped up inside of a building for hours on end. John has tried to convince her that she just needs to get in the swing of things and that she's just stressing out, again, since she missed the first week and a half of school due to her injuries. Leah can admit that she was freaking out about missing the first day of school and recalls how Paul and Leo teased her for being 'such a nerd'. She couldn't help it; Harry always said, 'If you're going to do anything you have to at _least_ show up on the first day and on the last day'.

But despite the semester being half way over Leah still finds herself struggling to get caught up and stay focused. Turning on the shower, Leah quickly strips and steps in letting the hot water run over body as she shuts her eyes. Opening them she begins to bathe and silently prays to wash away this tension and unrest from her body. Leah hasn't mentioned it to John…but she's been feeling that sense of anxiety, a strong desire to be outside…the exploration and need to run isn't there…but –

_Focus, Lee_.

She tells herself, sharply patting her face as if to wake herself up. John is right, she _can_ do this because if she doesn't…what else is there for her?

* * *

A/N: Alright, phew, this chapter took quite a while because the JohnxLeah moment…WOW! Completely unexpected and after I wrote it I couldn't think of any other way of going about writing this part of their story without completely skipping over it. So there you go for you John and Leah fans that have been DYING to see them again. To the Blackwater fans 'DON'T HATE ME!' *points at profile pic of John's torso* LOOK! LOOK AT IT! Let SHE who would spurn that body if it walked up to her with a sexy-ass smile on his face and wanted to spend time with you THEN CAST THE FRIST STONE!

THUMP!

OUCH! SONUVA…WHO THREW THAT? *growls* Can't believe someone actually THREW IT! John is some hot shit! Jacob is too…but Jacob's been pussy-footing around with Renesmee so SCREW HIM…o_O? Well…I'll do that, ahem, but anywho don't flame me yet. I mean WHO can ever forget about Jacob Black? Sure he's a clueless, stubborn, sexy-ass fool who always goes after the wrong girl when the perfect woman is right in front of him…yes, yes hilja I'm referring to you too. ^-^ Hehehe. But sometimes paths diverge and come back as one...only to maybe finally come apart. Yes, I know I'm using double-talk. =P

Let's see…what's been going on? Oh! Operation Must-Get-Ass-In-Shape-For-Operation-Snag-Me-A-WILF-For-the-Sake-of-My-Black-&-Brown-Babies *phew* that's a mouthful…*takes a deep breath* IS A GO! MY NEXT TWILIGHT CONVENTION IS SLOTTED TO BE IN JUNE! So I gotta start saving up money, getting shape and pull out my Sasha Fierce wig. Oh, yea, WILF girls. Kei is pulling out ALL OF THE STOPS! A WILF is dancing with me at the ball! DAMNIT! And Kyle too. ^.^ Hehhehe. *sits in a corner giggling like a school girl*

But I've got like a few more minutes until I hit the gym before it turns around and bitch slaps, bends me over and rapes me before calling me 'Shirley'. *tears up and sniffles* OH THE THINGS I DO FOR MY WILFs!

But you know what I want y'all to do. Read and review! Tell me what you think…oh…and there's like 35 of y'all that voted that have NEVER said a word to me. So you can take my poll and not say 'hey' or 'sup' to me? For shame, for shame. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I know y'alls moms and dads raised you better than that! I'm working hard to get this stuff out and sure sometimes I do it for the ego-stroking reviews. So UNTIL I can get a WILF to stroke me for y'all – GIVE IT TO MOMMA! ROFLMAO. FYI: I'm an achievement whore on Xbox Live and a review whore here on . o_O? I'm sure I could throw a couple more 'things' I'm a whore for…but whose got that kinda time? LOL.


	17. Telephone Pt 1

Telephone Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

John slowly awakens from his slumber to the sounds of running water. Rolling over to his back, he lets out a huge yawn, stretching out his limbs and a deep growl escapes his throat. His thoughts flash back to last night's events and he can't help the frustration that builds up inside of him. He's not only frustrated because of the disappointing ending to his date with Leah but also because _that_ wasn't him. He wasn't quite sure what happened and where it all came from…but, he can't deny the fact that it was nice. Feeling Leah's warm body pressed up against his, her voice sounding so light, soft and – John snaps out of his thoughts as his alarm goes off. With a groan of frustration he stops his alarm. He knows that he agreed to take things slow with Leah…and he _wanted_ to at the time but now the thought of not pursuing her seemed ludicrous.

The wolf spirit inside of John seems to feel slightly the same way, his aggression was slowly building up and after last night – his wolf can only growl excitedly at the thought of Leah naked in the shower. John has caught a glimpse or two or more of Leah while she was in the midst of transforming in and out. Taking a few deep breaths, John tries to calm himself down, calm the wolf down as he hears the shower water cut off. A smirk graces his lips at the thought of Leah's surprise when she opens up the door to find him standing outside waiting for her. He's not sure why he never bothered doing this sooner? He just always waited in his room for her to finish up.

Getting up John silently moves down the hallway and leans back against the wall opposite the bathroom door. His heart begins to race as he can hear the soft muffled movements of Leah's towel gently rubbing against her warm skin. His muscles clench tightly as he hears the slow twisting of the doorknob and he closes his eyes, _willing_ himself to calm down, to not lose control.

John's eyes open wide once he hears Leah's surprised gasp, his eyes traveling up from the soles of her bare feet, past her long tanned legs, her hips that are still prominent even with a towel wrapped around them, past her breasts that are covered modestly and to her face. The surprise is gone by the time he makes eye contact with her and all that remains is a small smile. He can tell that she's mentally laughing at herself for being caught off guard. He watches intently as Leah's lips part slightly and he finds himself unable to hold back any longer, his need to kiss her soft lips again drawing him in.

John feels the heat rolling off of Leah's body hitting his, the moisture that remained from her shower increasing the tingling sensation he is feeling on his arms, neck, chest and face. He moves in closer, blocking in Leah's body with his arms and adding pressure causing her to gasp as she feels the bottom of his boxers brush against her thighs. He groans internally as Leah bites on her bottom lip, looking up at him and he feels the need to nibble on it for her; to taste her – all of her.

"Lily." John whispers huskily as Leah eyes slowly flutter close and he leans in. The cool and sweet mint taste of Leah's breath closes his eyes. His heart is pounding in his chest and he can feel hers as her breasts press against his chest. His hands wrap around her waist before settling on her ass, squeezing and locking her in place against him.

"John." Leah moans out.

The loud shrill ringing of a phone cuts through the silence snapping Leah out of the moment. Opening her eyes, Leah realizes that it's her phone ringing and looks down the hall towards her room.

John feels his mood darken at another interruption; he can feel Leah's eyes on him as she stands waiting for him to release her from the hold. His fingers relax and they lightly graze the exposed skin at the bottom of Leah's towel. If her situation was different, he'd tell her to forget the call and let voicemail get it, but it's not; she's far away from home and not many people call Leah on her phone.

"John," Leah calls and with a defeated sigh, he steps back freeing her but still lets his fingers run across her smooth skin earning a shiver.

"Go answer it." John says with a small smile. Leah returns his smile along with a nod and moves quickly down the hall towards her room.

John keeps his focus on the wall, noticing the small smooth bumps and overlapped paint, trying to think about anything and everything outside of what could've happened between him and Leah. Morning wood was bad but _this_ was even worse. With a low growl he steps into the bathroom deciding upon a cold shower to help get him through the day.

The moment Leah enters her room does hesitation hit her; she's unsure of _who_ could be calling her. Her stomach begins to churn and flutter like there's a million butterflies in her stomach all just hovering awaiting her to answer the phone. Picking up the phone, she checks caller ID and breathes a sigh of relief to see it's only her mother.

"Morning Mom." Leah greets warmly.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" Sue snaps angrily. Leah's warm smile immediately falls as her brow furrows and she begins to question whether or not her mother has that sixth sense to know when her daughter is about to become intimate with someone?

"Uh…washing up?" Leah answers cautiously.

"Don't get cute with me, Leah Michelle Clearwater." Sue snaps.

"Mom, just calm down, alright?" Leah asks feeling her heart racing.

_What the hell _is_ going on?_

"Just tell me what's wrong? What's going on?"

"Why did you call Jacob?" Leah's eyes widen at the question and her chest constricts. "Billy called _me_ to tell me that you called Jacob and _he_ throws a fit." Leah slowly sits down on her bed shocked by the news.

"A – a fit? Why?" Leah asks out loud but the question is directed more so at herself.

_How did Billy know? Did Jacob leave the Cullens and run to him? Guess he can't throw his tantrums in front of his _precious_ Nessie. But…wait? Why is he upset?_

"Listen to me, Leah. It's just _best_ if you _don't_ talk to Jacob, okay?" Sue says after letting out a heavy sigh.

"Why?" Leah asks with a frown. Deep inside her there is a small confrontation breaking out; the wolf in her remains indifferent to the news of her Alpha male's mood but the human side of Leah is concerned. "I heard that he was upset that I left,"

"You're happy up there, right, dear?" Sue whispers interrupting Leah.

"Yea, but," Leah's phone beeps and she pulls it away to see Paul and Rachel's phone number appear. "Look, Mom, Rachel's on the other line. Just let me,"

"_Don't_ answer her call." Sue growls out and Leah freezes for a second at her mother's tone. Sue Clearwater was never one to be disobeyed and the respectful daughter in Leah gives pause – but only for a moment.

"Mom, it's just Rachel. I'll tell her I'll call her back." Leah states with a deep frown.

"LEAH, DON'T YOU DARE ANSWER IT!"

"I CAN TALK TO WHOEVER THE HELL I WANT!" Leah snarls into the phone. "Now _you_ hold." Leah orders before putting Sue on hold to answer Rachel's call.

_It's too damn early for this shit_.

"Heya Rach." Leah greets with a tired sigh.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" Rachel demands, her voice cutting through the last vestige of Leah's good mood.

"Try that _one_ more time." Leah growls into the phone. Whatever confusion or concern she may have had over her mother and best friend calling her at 5:15 AM is quickly melting away.

"You _heard_ me, Clearwater. You called Jacob!" Rachel snaps, her voice loud, shrill and demanding.

"I did." Leah replies curtly.

"What the hell did you _do_ to him?"

"_I_ didn't do a _damn thing_ to him." Leah growls out in her defense. "I – I…look _what_ is the matter?" Leah asks with a sigh. The nightmares have always been something that was known amongst the Black and Clearwater family members but never addressed. The only ones to know that the nightmares are so closely tied together is Jacob and Leah. The pair was pretty certain that their family members had some sort of ideas about why they could be found snuggled up together.

Jacob was never questioned about the arrangement but Leah was continually interrogated on the matter; especially by Seth and Sue. Leah knows it's because they all worry about her and her feelings; her developing the wrong kind of attachment on her Alpha.

"Leah, I come over after overhearing Paul and Sam talking about Jacob having a _meltdown_ in his room." Leah feels her breathe hitch at Rachel's words. "His room is trashed _and_ he refuses to eat or even come out. So I need to find out _what the hell you did or said to him_."

Despite the confusion swirling around her over the situation and her own feelings all that Leah can seem to focus on is her own anger and frustration. She had woken up from a terrible dream, her first in a few months and due to a lapse in poor judgment she called Jacob for comfort.

"Listen _I_ didn't _do_ or _say_ anything to him." Leah snarls angrily into the phone. "I called _him_ and he got short and snippy with _me_." Leah states, her teeth grinding. "I did tell him to go back to bed and that I was _sorry_ for waking him in the first place. You know what? Mom was right I shouldn't have bothered calling. What I _do_? Ruin his Loch Ness sleep or fantasies?"

Rachel bites her bottom lip as she listens to her best friend go off on the other line. She had woken up to low growls and curses coming from her husband to see Sam frowning at him. The two were unsure of what to do about Jacob and especially how to _handle_ him. Despite her husband's protests, Rachel had walked out and took the short walk from her front door to Billy's back door to find Billy already on the phone updating Sue Clearwater.

Jacob was in his room, his back turned towards the door, glass on his floor and picture frames smashed. All of Leah's old pictures were strewn across the floor, dresser and his bed while the newer ones, holding the _new_ pack, had been torn up obviously in a fit of anger and, possibly, jealousy. When Rachel had asked her brother what was wrong, his voice was hoarse, raspy and forced with a 'leave me alone' as the only reply.

"YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?" Leah yells into the phone, snapping Rachel out of her thoughts and forcing her to pull the receiver away from her ear. "IF I'M SUCH A FUCKING NUISANCE AND ANNOYANCE TO HIM THEN LET HIM _KNOW_ THAT I WON'T FUCKING CALL HIM EVER AGAIN! AND I'M CHANGING MY NUMBER!" Leah's anger takes over her as she recalls the hurt, pain and guilt that the pack had made her feel in the beginning. _Everything _was her fault back then and _she_ was the scapegoat.

_Why are they still blaming me? I'm not even there_.

Hearing a creek, Rachel whips around to see Jacob looking at her, his shoulders slumped and a look of complete hurt and defeat is in his eyes. She knows that he can hear every word that Leah is yelling right now and it's hurting him – he's _hurting_ that Leah doesn't know how he feels, doesn't know what's been going on and even if someone did tell her she'd probably not believe it.

"TELL HIM, ALL OF _THEM_, THAT I'M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF BEING _USED_. I'M ALWAYS AT THE ROOT OF SOMETHING. IF EMILY ISN'T HAPPY, IT'S MY FAULT! SETH CAN'T BE WITH HIS IMPRINT – IT'S MY FAULT! MOM DUMPED CHARLIE – IT'S MY FAULT! AND JACOB FUCKING BLACK IS BEING AN IMMATURE PRICK _AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" _

Rachel walks towards Jacob slowly her eyes desperately searching his own to only see only confusion and sadness. She had only called Leah because she had, inadvertently, hurt her brother and her ignorance of the whole situation was ridiculous, frustrating and caused more strife between the pack and family members involved. She didn't mean for things to become worse than they already were; Jacob was standing looking through her, his ears listening to Leah's rant and tirade, the realization of what this outburst could possibly mean. Leah was also hurt and Rachel is hit with the full force of the emotions that have lain hidden underneath the tough and overly-confident façade that was Leah Michelle Clearwater; she was hurt – hurting. Leah was always hurting and she masked it for the sake of those around her, her situation had improved slightly for a moment but there were unresolved issues that were just now being brought forward.

Rachel wants to say something but the words escape her and the only way she can see to make the matter better or to calm it down is to let Jacob talk to her. Jacob and Leah, both, have a tendency to be hot-headed and it takes someone special to calm either one of them down. As Leah can calm Jacob down and get him to focus on the importance of a situation, he possesses the ability to calm her down as well and make her see that she's not alone in her pain. Offering him the phone, her eyes begging for forgiveness, she's grossly disappointed as Jacob only stands, his shoulders slumped, and head hung low and loss washing over his features. Silently she pleads with him to take the phone and say something to her, to make everything right again, to right the wrong that has been done to her over and over again.

Jacob listens to Leah's hurt and angry voice over the receiver of the phone; he's only vaguely aware of Rachel's movements as the phone is placed near his ear. What strikes him more is that fact that he can hear the tears in her voice;

_Leah's crying. _

It stabs him in his heart that he's caused her this much pain and hurt; what hurts most of all is that he doesn't know even _how_ to correct it. In a way, Leah is right about her rant saying that she is to blame for the pack's woes. As his mind plays over the past years he can see where Leah's thinking has stemmed from. Emily was forever unhappy about Leah whether it was or presence or absence that just seemed to grate Emily – but Emily never seemed to be happy unless Leah was miserable. His mind wonders if Sam has still been harassing _his_ Leah while he was busy doting over Renesmee? Did Seth hold Leah responsible for cutting into his imprint time? When it was really _his_ turn to patrol? Or maybe Leah needed his help doing something? The matter of Sue and Charlie was just a swarm of rumors leaving very few people who cared to even know the truth behind that relationship. And even now, Rachel had called Leah blaming _her_ for his violent outburst. Sure Leah was the reason behind it but _she_ wasn't the cause; his frustration and feelings of insecurity and inadequacy were the catalyst of the fit. He was jealous of this other wolf and sad that Leah was perfectly content and happy with a life that didn't involve him. She was right; he was being immature and prick. He was putting his own needs above Leah's – again. He just felt that she had called to…say that she was coming back home, that she missed him and that she 'loved' him.

Now all of his hopes are slipping away and he can't find the right words or energy to even correct it. A part of him is screaming at him to _say_ something and stop her before she makes a very Leah-like decision and never calls back. There's another part of him that is silent and is trying to formulate the perfect answer – but this part is working fast enough.

"SO I'M DONE WITH THIS! DON'T FUCKING CALL ME, I'LL CALL YOU!" Leah screams still under the impression that she's talking to Rachel and the line goes dead. The moment is gone and Jacob sighs, shutting his eyes, shaking his head and without a word or even a glance at Rachel he turns and heads back to his room. There are no feelings of hurt, regret, remorse, hatred, jealousy or defeat – his body, thoughts and feelings are numb. Collapsing down on his bed, Jacob shuts his eyes and slowly he drifts into a dark and dreamless sleep.

Leah sits seething on her bed, her eyes stinging and the taste of blood on her tongue from the multiple bite marks on her bottom lip. A growl escapes her throat as she forces herself to place her phone down calmly at her side. Shutting her eyes, she breathes in deeply trying to control the building rage that is threatening to overcome her. Her thoughts play over the angry calls that she received from both Sue Clearwater and Rachel Meraz blaming her for _Jacob's_ actions. She wasn't his fucking keeper and this was actually the first time she'd spoken to him since she left; she knows now how foolish she was to have tried to contact him directly.

"Uh…she's going to have to call you back." Leah's body tense as her head whips around to see John standing in her door, the cordless phone raised to his ear and his eyebrows hidden beneath the fringe of wet hair. "I can't make that kind of promise, Sue." John answers, his eyes looking at Leah taking in every detail of her body, facial expressions and most of all her eyes. "Bye."

Leah turns her head away looking straight ahead at the wall before her. Her temper is starting to get the better of her and the wolf inside of her is clawing desperately to be unleashed; they'll run if _she's_ allowed out. Running always makes them feel better but they have work, school and a cell phone number to be changed.

"Lily, calm down, please." John whispers as he sits down on the bed next to Leah. He watches as Leah's body tenses slightly the moment he sits down on the bed, his weight shifting the mattress and causing her to fall slightly into him. The contact of their skin sends a shiver from the contact point to both of their spines; one of bashful contentment and the other with biting frustration. "Do you want to talk about it?" John asks and sighs as Leah growls at his question taking her answer as an obvious 'no'.

Running a hand through his hair, he looks at the woman beside him and silently curses the morning. He's not heard most of the conversation but he can tell that it's been a heated one judging by the tone of both mother and daughter. Then to hear Leah's outburst about her being responsible for something involving her former Alpha only frustrates him more. All the time he's put into trying to convince Leah that she's not responsible for the actions and series of events that involve others – forgotten. It was like building a sandcastle and then some asshole walking up and knocking the whole thing; after all the planning, working and detail work to have it all come crumbling down around you.

"I'm just fucking _sick_ of it all. I mean I'm not even _there_ and yet Mom and Rachel seem to find it fit to _blame me_ for Jacob throwing a temper tantrum." Leah states exasperatingly, her arms out straight before her as if the mess was right before them. The news catches John's attention and he turns his head to look at her, a deep frown on his face and his brow creased.

"What happened?" John asks seeing as how now Leah is ready to tell him what spurred the argument to maybe get more details.

"I called him,"

"Why?" John asks trying to control the rush of anger and jealousy inside of him. He'd been thinking of Leah while in the shower, how great her body felt pressed against his and how soft her lips were against his own. Leah wasn't the docile type of woman and responded more freely with those who were straight-forward and aggressive with her. The decision to openly pursue her more seeming to be a decision that both man and wolf could agree on because it wasn't round-about, it was subtle and a clear, concise decision.

"I don't know." Leah lies and John flinches at the blatant lie hanging in the air. "Look I'm going out for a while." Leah says quickly getting up and walking around the bed towards her closet. She quickly grabs an oversized t-shirt, throwing it on before reaching into the drawer throwing on a pair of shorts. John doesn't turn around giving Leah the required privacy and trying to figure out if letting her out in such an overworked emotional state.

* * *

She sits by the river, silently staring at the rushing water, a cool breeze kicking up and spraying her face with a light mist. The rushing water is nothing like the crashing waves on the cliff back in La Push. There is no rhythmic beating or pattern that she can distinctly pick out. With a sigh, she gets up and stretching out her legs, turns and runs into the forest. Over the months, she's learned the layout of the territory and can run it in her sleep.

Her paws coming to a halt, her body tilts a little from the momentum causing her to two tap the rocky surface beneath her. She looks up at the mountain before her, trying to find the best way to get up; she's not as agile of a climber in her wolf form like the others. It's a challenge that she loves and has only succeeded in twice – out of 32 attempts. With a huff, she opts out on climbing the cliff face and moves towards the trees.

She's not afraid of falling; especially since she knows that _he_ will never let her fall. Throwing a quick glance back Leah can see John following not too far behind her. He's not left her since the argument on the phone with Rachel Meraz. She had to get out, get away from her phone, the accusations, the blame and the anger. She couldn't get over how her own mother and best friend had called blaming her for Jacob's outburst. She, in turn, responded back with her own backlash of anger and overflowing emotions.

Leah can feel John's interest peek as her thoughts slip to the words that she yelled into the phone at her very pregnant best friend. He remains silent, letting her sort through everything in her own head, at her own pace while still giving her plenty of space. He's not demanding her to just 'deal with it' or even trying to convince her that 'they didn't mean it'. She's spent her entire wolf existence listening to the same excuses over and over again – from Sam, Emily, Jacob, Seth, Sue, Billy, Embry and on and on.

The run up the mountain is easy and is over too soon for the frustration still lingering just under the surface. Slowing down her pace, she walks to the edge of the rocky cliff and lays down and with a heavy huff. Her head resting on her paws and the sun's rays warming her fur. She can hear John shaking out his fur roughly before he sits down a few feet away from her. The comforting closeness that the two have shared over the months is gone. She doesn't want it nor does she need it; she does need a soft, placating attitude to soothe her when what she really wants to do is run full out until her paws bleed and then turn and attack the source of this surge of emotions – _Jacob_.

A prickling of annoyance shoots up both wolves spines at the mention of the name. Leah isn't sure whether it's stemmed from her own emotions or maybe from John's. An image of Jacob pops in her head, a smug grin on his face as he rolls his eyes. It's a memory of Leah's from another moment in time where she felt like this once before. He had followed along behind her, very much like John, as she ran her anger out – or tried too. It's always interested Leah that she could never out run her own emotions even in her wolf form as if they were always somewhere ahead of her.

But Jacob had phased back into his human form and sat beside Leah scratching and petting her head. The only thing to keep her from biting the condescending hand was an alpha command. He talked to her about the fight, what was said and how she reacted and felt. He was explaining it all away while still throwing insults at the other party involved. Somehow he had calmed her down but it's plain to see that the issue has never really been dealt with – she's still carrying that baggage around with her.

'_You need to learn how to let it go.'_ John states finally breaking their silence. There are no other words or thoughts on how he feels the best way for her to achieve this end. Whether it's because he himself doesn't know how to do it or maybe it's just something that she's expected to learn on her own is debatable.

An eagle screeches high up in the sky and Leah's eyebrows raise as she watches the bird soaring; its wings spread wide, riding on the cliff's updraft as it surveys the land looking for prey. She finds herself envying the bird and its freedom to rise above it all. She was born grounded; her wings long since clipped and never meant to grow back – ever. There was always someone or something to come along and trip her up just when she felt that she had the perfect rhythm or pace to move along in her life.

She feels pretty certain that _she's_ partly to blame for all of her setbacks and failures. Leah Clearwater has never been wholesome, pure and perfect. Her parents cursed, her friends and cousins fought, she had popularity in high school but that's never meant to last. Her girlfriends were few but great; they were gossipy and unique. Talking about people and making jokes on others was how they bonded and passed the time; they weren't cruel with their jokes and kept it strictly between them. They fought and argued same as all people do and sometimes they made up. The boys were just that – boys. They were rude, crude, and crass. Their jokes were dirty, perverted and insulting. They were competitive, aggressive, abrasive and brutal. A loss said that you were weak and a win meant you were the best.

She's had to learn how to balance being a human, a wolf, a girl, sister, daughter, friend, ex-girlfriend, cousin, beta, housekeeper, employee and Council member all at the same time. These last years have been spent with one of the most isolated groups on the entire rez. Her humor is a variant between the many lives she's been forced to live. She knows more sex jokes than any other female should probably ever learn and she knows that sometimes she's a pariah amongst most female gatherings.

She's angry, volatile, violent, vengeful, loyal, a loner and yet pack oriented. She's not perfect and knows that she never will be; people don't like her and she doesn't like most people. No matter what she does it feels as if it'll never be good enough for those around her and that idea stings her heart.

'_Lily,'_ John whispers as he gets up and lays down next to Leah. John watches with a pang in his heart as a huge single tear rolls down the side of Leah's face; her fur turning a darker grey from the wet trail it leaves. Immediately he licks it away, covering her muzzle and face in wolfish kisses trying to convey warmth and assurance that he's with her and he won't turn on her so.

John wants to tell her to _not_ feel that way but inside their current forms, he's unable to see how to even form the words to speak it. Her pain and sense of loneliness is overwhelming that he can only whimper while rubbing his head roughly against hers. John has never, personally, felt such feelings before and as words escapes him, he does the only thing that he can think to do but promise Leah that she will always have him by her side, that he'll always back her up and support her.

Images of a man, an older man with long silvery gray hair tied up in a ponytail appears in his mind's eye. John doesn't recognize the man but can sense Leah's overwhelming love and need for him – _her father_. He can feel this man's warm arms surrounding him, both of them, in a tight embrace as they listen to his steady heart beating inside his chest as it rumbles from the speaking of his deep voice. There is comfort, security and love in that moment but it is short lived as he suddenly gone and the image is replaced with the image of the same man, the russet skin now paling, his eyes bulging, his hand clutching at his heart as he gasps desperately for air.

The image becomes too much as they are both hit with the sudden realization that he's dying; the anchor, weight, support – _rock of the Clearwater family is dying_. Throwing their heads back both let out a painful howl; it's mourning for not just Harry Clearwater, as John will soon learn, but for all of those lost suddenly and unexpectedly.

Their cries echo throughout the mountain range causing animals to stop and become alert. Even the few humans nearby freeze hearing the saddened calls of two wolves; their location unknown but the pain and sorrow in the cries touches them deeply that they can't help but stop, taking a moment to say a silent prayer to hopefully ease the pain of the two animals' loss.

* * *

A/N: This is a short chapter because the original was getting really long and it has to be broken up into two parts. Sorry for the long delay but I've had to deal a lot with this chapter and the last. It really hurt to write that chapter and I just needed a break from brokenhearted and confused Jacob Black. He's really just a naïve innocent in this story…in comparison to the other Blackwater angst that I've written in the past. But I'm started to feel slightly better. I've had this flu bug for a week and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm eating solid food again! YAY! I'm drinking water and don't feel _forced_ to do it. HAZAH! And I've only slept for a total of 17-hrs today! And that's _not_ in a row. So…yea, so there goes the update that I promised and here's hoping I can buckle down and get the Halloween story out.

Oh! So…get this! On my way home from work, because even with the flu I'm a glutton for punishment and would like to use my sick days for days where I can goof around instead of sleeping, I see this guy brushing his teeth! O_o? It kind of caught me off guard because my eyes registered what I saw before my brain had a second to process it. But have any of you _ever_ seen someone brushing their teeth outside their place of business? I mean is there some crazy bathroom monitor that'll jump out the stalls and scream, 'YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE!'? I mean if so they need to use their time for more good and stop those who don't wash their _nasty_ hands during this cold and flu season. Nasty doorknobs probably made me sick. *grumbles* But…I don't know…am I the only one to find it weird? I mean dude didn't even have a cup to like rinse or nuthin.

What else…uh, the fox has _not_ been back. I repeat the fox has not been back; so hopefully, he's either out looking for the WILF that requested and so many others have asked or he decided that there was nothing to be had around the huge house with the crazy black girl yelling at wild animals. I really hope it's the first one. =P But you all know what to do at this point and if you've seen Paranormal Activity 2 tell me what you thought of it. I'm so excited to go see it! The idea of a baby and dog being scared shitless is just too tempting NOT to go see. I mean I've seen the mom being dragged down the stairs but what if they drag the baby! HILARIOUS! Yea, that's right, I said it. I live with a 3-yr old and startling her is sometimes the highlight of my day; after our hugs, tickling matches, 'I'm-NOT-tickling you' matches and our harmonize the other's name.


	18. Clash of the Broken Hearts

Clash of the Broken Hearts

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters nor do I own John's last name as that was the brain child of laurazuleta18.  
.**

* * *

Leah lets out a heavy sigh as she sits watching her own reflection in the car window, the green scenery speeding by. There is a mild relief from the pain that she was dealing with earlier; after howling she had phased and cried with John simply holding her. He hadn't shushed her or told her it was going to be alright or to even stop. He sat with her as she let out as much as she could in that moment and afterwards it felt as if there had been a weight lifted off of her shoulders.

Jacob hated seeing her cry and did everything he could to get her stop from cracking jokes to yelling at her and instigating an argument. He never allowed her to just get it all out and she frowns thinking about why that has been the case. Why was it _not_ alright for _her_ to cry when she was in pain? Were her tears a sign of weakness that an alpha couldn't have coming from his beta? Why was _she_ required to keep so much bottled in while he, everyone else, could vent whenever they felt like?

She suppresses a growl and straightens up in her seat as the trees are replaced with small buildings full of businesses. After calming down, she caught a ride with John's father into town so that she can stop by the phone store and get her number changed. Sadly, Sue still has the primary main lines to the heads of the family but she hopes that her mother will give her the needed time and space to sort through all the crap.

"You sure you're up to working this afternoon?" George, John's father asks. Leah looks over at him with a big smile.

"Yea, I'll be there and ready for the afternoon rush." George chuckles deeply as he shakes his head.

"Cute." George says throwing Leah a quick glance before turning his attention back to the road. The diner, that Leah has been working at since joining John's pack, is a the family owned business of the Anaktokons, located just on the fringe of the reservation to get just enough business from the rez and the local town surrounding; tourists were always good for stopping in to see real live Indians. The so-called 'afternoon rush' consisted of about 10 regulars who trickled in from their jobs.

Leah waves at George as she walks up to the door of the local wireless store. She's hit with a mixture of pain and happiness that he refuses to drive off until she's safely inside the store. It's reminiscent of something Harry always did regardless of wherever he dropped his little girl off – he always had to make sure she made it inside.

The bell above the door rings as she opens it announcing her entrance. She smiles as she sees Ted standing behind the counter, a smart phone in his hand and a frown on his face. Leah always finds herself looking at Ted closely, studying his facial expressions, his eyes, his stance because he seems to forever have a frown on his face. She can't help but wonder if _this_ is how she looked to others before joining Jacob's pack? And even afterwards, she still frowned some but not as much.

"Hey Teddy bear." Leah calls walking up the counter with a huge smile on her face. The smile doesn't fall as Leah walks closer and finds Ted glaring at her, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment and his frown deepening. For a moment she's confused about his reaction; she's promised to never call him that around anyone else but the store is empty – right?

To Leah's surprise, a head pops up followed by a tall, lean body of one of Ted's co-workers, Jeremy. Ted's eyes narrow as Jeremy looks at him with a huge smile on his face before turning back to Leah.

"Well, well, well…I was wondering when I'd see you again, Leah." Jeremy greets as Ted silently curses under his breath while shaking his head. Jeremy is just a few inches taller than Leah, with dark brown hair and light blue eyes. "So…_Teddy-bear_," Jeremy says sweetly turning to give Ted a look.

"Just go in the back and finish unpacking the new cases." Ted orders through clenched teeth.

"Leah, if you would be a _doll_ and convince your, uh, _Teddy bear_ here to lighten up; the rest of us would greatly appreciate it." Jeremy says before bursting out into peals of laughter and heading into the back of the store. Leah sucks in her lips trying to fight back her own laughter; it would be a mixture of embarrassment and amusement.

"I-I'm sorry." Leah apologizes shaking her head as Ted growls at her. "I didn't know anyone else was in the store."

"Whatever it's fine." Ted grumbles out with a roll of his eyes. "What you got for me?" Ted asks holding out his hand and nodding his head at Leah's bag. Leah begins rummaging around in her bag searching for her phone. Ted, despite his sour mood, was actually good with electronics and worked in the local wireless store selling, repairing and upgrading phones. Being in a pack of shape-shifters meant that sometimes phones were lost or damaged and to keep down on the expense of the necessity; someone with the skills and know-how to fix them were necessary.

"I just want my number changed." Leah says pulling out her phone and handing it to him. Putting her bag up on the counter, Leah turns her attention to the new phones in the display case just in time to miss the hard look thrown at her.

"No." Ted tells her flatly as he tosses the phone back on the counter. Leah's head shoots up as she looks at him wide-eyed and skeptical. "I'm not changing your fucking phone number again, Leah." Ted states looking down at the phone as he plants his hands down on the countertop. He cocks his head to the side taking in her surprised and bewildered facial expression, her eyes changing from a light hazel to a dark brown showing a clear sign of the internal turmoil that is going on in her head over his blatant refusal.

"Why the _hell _not?" Leah asks narrowing her eyes, placing a hand on the counter and the other on her hip. The two glare at one another; they are mirror copies of the other in personality, attitude and mood swings. If the two weren't wolves and within the same pack neither would be able to stand the other.

"I've changed your number four times already." Ted says with a sigh as he looks away. There's a time and a place for everything; he sees now that he's _definitely_ chosen the wrong place and the wrong time to tell Leah 'no'.

"Yea, and…so what's the big deal? You _know_ why I keep having it changed. It's not like I'm trying to pull some crazy dodging telemarketers bullshit." Leah states her eyes narrowing.

"I'm still _not_ changing the number." Ted says simply shaking his head.

"Look, I don't _want_ them calling me." Leah hisses as she leans across the counter and pushes the phone towards Ted. Her eyes are a dark brown almost black, her muscles tense and Ted can feel the heated anger rolling off of her. If he wasn't a wolf, as well, he'd be seriously freaked out and intimidated by the woman before him.

"That sounds like a personal issue to me." Ted says with a bored look upon his face.

His nonchalant attitude towards her simple request stuns Leah; her brow furrowing, her mouth hanging open slightly and her eyes narrowing slightly as if with a slight twitch. Ted and Leah have always seemed to get along fairly well considering his track record with new people. Despite his sometimes crass remarks and cold attitude towards her, not specifically, she's never held it against him; she has, in fact, been the first girl that didn't look at him with pity when she found out about his past. She had only given him a look of 'oh, I get it now' and didn't pressure him into noticing her; not that it was necessary.

Now Ted is starting to see another side of Leah that he's kind of assumed was there but really hasn't seen. Her truly 'bitchy' side; she's never been told 'no' before and if she has there was at least some clear explanation as to _why_ she couldn't have her way. Through some of her memories, Ted has learned that Leah hates being told what to do when it goes against her own thought process which is why she rarely went along with the Sam guy. Jacob seemed to stay on the same page as her; whether intentionally or coincidence he's not sure of yet but Leah…she wasn't told 'no' often.

He debates over how to handle the situation and, most importantly, _her_. Ever since last night, when the pack interrupted her make-out session with their alpha, Leah has inadvertently moved herself up the pack's hierarchy. It has been a subtle change, one that he's not even sure that anyone else has noticed or maybe it's partly because _he's_ been the Omega for the longest and he's not ready to be at the very bottom again. If he went about it in his usual manner, it'd lead to them arguing, yelling, snarling, growling and possibly phasing in the middle of store; _never good for business_. Or _worse_ she'd go and tell John; John was still pissed off with Ted for his comment after the alpha conversation and _especially_ after he ran and 'tattled' on him to Leah once she was feeling better.

The problem was that Leah didn't always wear her _true_ feelings on her sleeve. What was on the outside wasn't a direct reflection of what she was feeling on the inside. While Ted had abandonment issues, Leah dealt with abandonment, guilt, ostracism and who knew whatever else. For some reason, he couldn't find himself to be blunt and harsh with her. He wanted to tear into her calling her a whore, manipulator, spoilt brat and a coward. But…she wasn't any of those things except maybe the latter two but he doesn't really hold her responsible for his first two insults. She's a female and she's surrounded by all of these males; three of his pack mates have been openly flirting with her and trying to get more out of her. Also, Paul, Leo and Gio were all so easily manipulated by any female with a pretty face.

"I don't recall _asking_ you your opinion about the _personal_ matters of my life." Leah snarls through her teeth interrupting Ted's thoughts. Her hands are clenched tightly into a fist causing her knuckles to begin to turn white. First, Sue then Rachel and _now_ Ted. The drama that had ensued from earlier in the morning and seemed to have finally petered out was beginning again. Her mind debates over her options and it frustrates her that she doesn't see many. Either she convinces Ted to change her number again or she just leaves her phone forever on vibrate. She _could_ tell John and the others about Ted's attitude and that would put an end to it but…she already knows things are tense between Ted and John, she doesn't want to aggravate the matter.

"You _need_ to stop running away from your problems." Ted states with a sigh as he leans forward resting his arms on the counter. He can't help but chuckle at the irony of his statement and her surprised expression at his statement. After all, Ted has been the master of running away from his problems, putting the blame on others, avoiding anything that could possibly remind him of his lonely existence and the simple fact that his own mother couldn't even love him. "I _know_ I'm the least likely of people to tell you anything of facing your past," Ted begins but is cut off by Leah.

"You're absolutely right, you're _not_." Leah hisses venomously. "You also don't know _what_ you're talking about."

"You changed your number because some phone conversation or another didn't go as you planned. What did your brother run a trace? Your alpha said something you didn't like?" Ted asks as his voice grows more and more condescending. "You feel that they don't _love_ you anymore?" Ted watches as Leah lets a low growl rip from her throat. Her silence makes his wolf feel ill at ease but Ted pushes on.

"I don't _need_ to explain myself to _you_." Leah hisses as her a growl erupts from her throat. Ted's eyes narrow as the anxiety he initially felt disappears as Leah's wolf makes her appearance; a wolf he can handle better than a possibly emotional Leah Clearwater.

"Obviously because _I'm_ right." Ted gloats as he smirks darkly at her. Leah opens her mouth to speak but shuts it tight, her lips puckered together as she thinks about her next move. Ted watches as Leah walks around behind the counter and for a moment his body tenses ready for her to attack him.

"Jeremy!" Leah yells as she grabs hold of Ted's wrist and leads him into the back room. "Watch the front." Leah orders and Jeremy quickly nods his head and does as he's told but not before giving Ted a weak and apologetic smile.

Ted isn't sure exactly why he's allowing himself to be led around by Leah but he finds himself unable to argue with her. Something about the physical contact making it hard to disobey her commands, to resist her direction; she leads him out in the back, away from customers.

"Listen to me and listen to _me_ good," Leah says her voice becoming low, even and authoritative. Ted finds himself taken aback by this sudden change in Leah. Her stance is no longer of intimidation with balled fists, clenched muscles and teeth. Instead she stands perfectly straight, her eyes focused on his, hands on her hips and the energy coming from her is of Leah Clearwater, beta of the La Push pack. "I have reasons for wanting to change my number; I do _not_have to go into details about them with you. As far as a _conversation_ not going well then let's just say I don't want to spend _my_ time being yelled at and blamed for shit _I_ have no control over. Secondly, my brother has his own life to live and _running a trace_ on me is the _furthest_ thing from his mind. My _alpha_, in fact, _hasn't_ said anything I didn't like but instead promised to make me lasagna tonight for dinner." The more and more Leah talks, her tone commanding his attention the more Ted finds a reason to fight against Leah's request.

Leah is strong, beautiful and determined; he knows that his pack is lucky to have her but the point is that _she_ wasn't meant to be with their pack. Ted has tried to deal with his feelings towards Leah and balance everything out. He was hesitant about trusting her, same as John, but once he got to know her a little it was hard _not_ to like her. When Leah was in a good mood, it was hard to not share the same positive energy that she carried. When she was in a dark mood, all the guys wanted to do was bring her up out of it.

The days following the attack Ted was worried, just like everyone else, about Leah's well-being; was she going to heal, would she scar and worst of all had any venom gotten into her wounds. The fear ate away at Ted but was only softened by the realization that he _actually_ cared about what happened to her. Ted hadn't cared for anyone else besides himself, especially a female, in a very long time. His mother has instilled in him a feeling of mistrust for all females; they were selfish, vain, conniving, manipulative, weak and petty. Leah, for some reason, didn't fit into this category and maybe it was because she had a hard life; her father died, her fiancé dumped her for her cousin, her family turned on her, she lost her friends and her right to choose her path in life.

Ted started wondering about all of the other people in Leah's life and how they were all sitting up worrying about day-after-day while those who knew her best had no idea. Ted had been relieved John mentioned calling Leah's mother and letting her know what was going on with her. Maybe it's because, secretly, Ted _does_ worry about his mother, he thinks about her daily, although he keeps those thoughts secret from the rest of his pack. But those worries soon became frustration and anger when John lashed out at Leah's 'true' alpha when he showed signs of being worried about her. Leah had never given the impression that no one _didn't_ care for her; it sucked that imprinting made the wolves seem to only focus on their own world instead of those around them.

But the truth of the matter is that she phased for a reason, Leah has some purpose; same as they all did and she was phased to aid her pack.

"_Jacob_ is your alpha, _not_ John." Ted growls out in frustration. _This_ is what has been eating up at him, Leah's ability to so quickly drop her alpha, a man that has looked out for her, risked his life to save her and had become a friend to her. There _is_ a part of Leah that reminds him of his mother and it's the worst part; her ability to just pick up and leave – abandon her family.

"I _left_ him, _all of them._" Leah growls at Ted.

"All because you're a fucking coward!" Ted snarls as he pins Leah up against the side of the building. Leah's eyes widen in surprise but are soon replaced with a fiery challenge that has Ted's wolf snarling at her. "You're just like _her_." Ted states as he seeks remorse or regret in Leah's eyes.

"What? Like your mother?" Leah asks her eyes narrowing for a second. "I'm _nothing_ like her,"

Leah whispers as she shakes her head.

"She left _me_ when she felt like she'd lived out her usefulness. She didn't _once_ stop to think about me." Ted mumbles. "Oh, she mentioned it; leaving the rez and going back home, making a home elsewhere. I didn't think that she'd do it without me." Leah's eyes soften as Ted's begin to glisten with unshed tears.

Neither is sure exactly what has led them to this point, Ted comparing Leah to his mother and, now, both of them on the brink of tears. Leah wraps her arm around Ted, holding him tightly as he stands hesitating in extending the same gesture. Slowly Ted wraps his arms around Leah, her warmth surrounding him and even though he knows better, he's expecting her to mock him, make fun of his weakness and threaten to tell his brothers about his weakness; that 'Teddy bear misses his mummy'.

"Don't you love them, Lee?" Ted whispers as he hugs Leah tightly. Both can hear the real question in his voice, 'didn't she love me?'

The question catches Leah off guard on both levels and she finds herself hugging Ted tighter. She wishes that she could make him understand that she _had_ to leave; it was her time to move on and live her life.

"She loved you, Ted; she just wasn't strong enough to keep it up." Leah breathes out in a ragged breathe.

"Was _I_ not strong enough either?" Ted asks.

* * *

A/N: Alright…so this chapter SO did not come out the way I expected it and well…I was tearing up at the end. I wanted there to be more anger, angst, hateful words but what I had originally typed was just so beneath Leah and the growth that she has gone through since BD and even since joining John's pack.

I'm sorry if the full impact of emotions was lost but I've been getting SO MANY requests to update and I just had to force something out. Truth is I don't like forcing emotions out in a story. I much prefer them to flow and yet still stick with my original plan. Problem with me and my writing is that I pull so much inspiration from what I experience in my life; whether its movies, television, books, life, work, family and friends. Everything I come across has wound up in my stories at one point or another. I'm, honestly, kinda glad that the angst part of this year is over for now and it has lasted for quite a while.

But after becoming a scapegoat for my mother in a family discussion I believe that it will be back full blast. I've been _pretty_ easy on Sue in my stories, in general, but I think the cuffs are about to come off.

So believe when I say that I would _love_ to update more regularly but sometimes my mind needs a break from this world that I've created. Sometimes I want to think about something us, something that doesn't make me feel bad, sad, hurt or even alone and rejected. O_o? Wow…didn't mean for that to come out but 'life happens' and all you can do is just hope and pray that your fastened in tight enough to survive it to the end.

I'm going to try and finish up some of my other stories; First Come Love is about to be wrapped up and Leah Clearwater: Through Our Eyes is about to be wrapped up. I happened to find a long ago written chapter for Carlisle and instead of just writing something for _every_ character I'm just going to do a few more and get into who Leah's love interest is. I'm hoping that by wrapping up some of those I'll be able to focus more on this story. I think part of it is that I really like John and his pack and…well, I'm not really ready to say good bye to them yet. T-T

Oh! But the real reason why this story suddenly took such a turn is that on my way home from work I was PO'd! I mean like 'could get outta my car and bitch slap a…a…person', ahem, there was another word I wanted to use but I won't go there. And then, THEN there's this radio station I don't often listen to but sometimes and there's this FUCKING SONG that I HATE SO MUCH! It's just this weird melody that they keep playing over and over again. I used to think that it was a lyrical song but the opening beat was just too damn long and annoying for me to bother even listening to it; so I switched off listened to another song and came back…TO THE SAME DAMN THING! I don't know what it is about the song, by who you ask, someone who doesn't give a shit but was willing to shell out some cash to get airtime. And I felt ready to use that anger to finish up this chapter on a high, angry note but then…if I didn't find a station that was playing some Steely Dan 'Rikki Don't Lose That Number'. That's an awesome song! That's an awesome band!

Well that and then when I got home…there was no one here. It was quiet, peaceful, calm, serene even! I actually went to the bathroom and didn't have someone opening the door wanting to ask me a question or tell me something. I just sat in the house enjoying the peace…and quiet. ^_^ That's a rare, _rare_ thing in my life. Lol.

Alright since this A/N has gotten pretty long and this has been a fairly short chapter I'll wrap this up but MAN do I have some crazy/silly/scary stories to tell y'all. So do that wonderful thing that you and tell me what you thought. Be honest!


	19. The Root

The Root

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

It's funny how emotions can change things; the way they can sit in the dark and somehow still find a way to grow and become something bigger, something completely unexpected. Emotions are like a weed; once they take root somewhere it'll start growing so small and will blossom disguising itself as something beautiful and innocent. But as the rest of the garden is left unattended is when the weed will take root and begin to spread, overlapping everything else around it. No matter how much hacking, cutting and treating you do, it's never enough unless you can find some way to get at the _root_. And until you find the root, you'll find yourself losing a battle against nature and yourself.

* * *

Leah sits next to Ted, a silence hangs over them and yet it is still comfortable; each to his or her own thoughts trying to find a solution to their problem and considering the words spoken to them. Ted knows that he lost his train of thought when confronted with dealing with Leah 'abandoning' her pack to start over somewhere; he regrets it, at least to a point. He just got so angry and looking into her eyes, eyes that reminded him so much of his mother that he just let it out; he's just grateful he didn't phase. Leah sits with a small frown trying to figure out why she's projected on. Why do people always feel the need to compare her to someone else? Why is she never her own person?

Taking a deep breath she sighs as she watches a bird dart across the sky. "Ted, you know I didn't abandon them, you know that, right?" Leah asks finally breaking the silence between them. Truth is neither did they abandon her…at least that's not how she feels about it. Ted looks up at her, a small frown still on his face but his eyes have changed; they are no longer hard, distant and intimidating but soft and sad.

"As a pack everything should work together," Ted begins as he looks up at the sky. "Everyone works together and when the job is done, all will stop as one." Leah finds herself surprised by Ted's words as they seem to hold some kind of special 'truth' to them; his voice even sounding more at peace than normal. "When we phased it wasn't all at once but it spread out with John phasing first and once he gained control and understood what was happening to him than Paul was next. It became a trickle effect of change, understanding, balance and control which added more and more support to those of us who came afterwards."

Leah sits listening as Ted's voice becomes softer and softer, there is warmth to it that has her feeling at ease and as if he speaks volumes to their world. However, the way the Iskut seem to operate as spirit warriors is completely different from the Quileutes.

"The main thing has always been 'balance' for us. I never had much of it after my dad got sick. My dad sometimes had good days, sometimes bad…other times he was great and the rest was horrible. We had to take everything one step at a time, deal with the symptoms and moods as they came. I couldn't handle the horrible days where my dad would sit in bed, moaning and groaning in pain, unable to find any sort of relief. I would run away those days and leave my mother behind to deal with everything. I didn't learn until much later on that because I ran away that I threw the balance off within our home. I left my mom to shoulder the burden of our family's pain, sorrow and misery. It wasn't enough that I was there for the good days." Ted explains.

"And you think because you weren't there for her in the bad times, that you weren't strong enough – that's why she left?" Leah asks. Ted solemnly nods his head. Leah scoots closer to Ted, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and hugging him to her. Their heads touch lightly as Leah strokes Ted's arm comfortingly.

Leah can't help but wonder if this is how the others feel? Are they blaming themselves for her leaving? Years ago when she first phased she wanted them to feel guilty and responsible for running her off from her home, her own land. But now…she left because it was time for her to go, there was nothing left in La Push for her. Isn't moving on a part of life? Or maybe it's something more because of what they all are?

"Ted," Leah begins before she frowns and thinks over what she wants to say. Comforting has never been one of Leah's strong suits and over the years there's been no need for it. No one needed anything but the wolf in her and she dealt with that on her own when the others were busy. "I don't know what to say about your mother, maybe part of it is that you weren't there to help her but you were also a kid at the time. It was an awful lot to deal with at such a young age." Leah begins.

"As far as 'balance' goes," She chuckles to her, "that's something my pack never had." Ted looks down at Leah in confusion. "There was always someone at odds with another whether it was Sam and Jacob, Jacob and Paul, me and Sam, me and Emily, Embry and Paul. The 'understanding, balance and control' that you mentioned earlier?" Ted nods his head. "My brother and I phased at the same time, along with Quil, and we phased at a time when the rest of the pack was busy chasing after this red-haired leech that was after Bella Swan. So, believe me, there was no time for understanding, wrapping our heads around or dealing with anything else. You had to sit down then listen, nod your head, accept it and get right to work."

Ted listens as Leah explains her first phasing experience with all of the yelling that took place before the change. How sick she was feeling, aggravated, annoyed and frustrated. Her cousin, Emily, forever coming over and trying to talk to her while her mother, Sue, was always barking at her to get her to listen to her cousin. Spouting words of 'love, family, respect' – words that, obviously, held no meaning to Emily was Leah's argument back. Her father then showing up and wanting everyone to calm down but somehow his words only made Leah angrier and Seth's quiet presence only adding to the frustration. He sees how her spirit was fighting to get out, clawing and taking everything negative around her to increase the power of her change. Until finally it was unleashed in the form of a light gray wolf exploding just as her brother was reaching out to stop her from leaving.

Both siblings were angry and phased at the same time, dealing vicious cuts on one another but that didn't matter as they were healed in a matter of minutes. When faced with another wolf, immediately before them and without having dealt with the anger yet the two attacked one another, clawing, biting, scratching, growling and snarling. This pent up energy was increased as the rest of the wolves were already riled up and excited, itching for a fight, as they were chasing the red-haired vampire themselves.

Chaos is the word to describe a La Push wolf's first transformation.

From there the two siblings along with the other wolf were gathered together and given the 'rules'. Sam was their alpha and they had to obey his every command, if they didn't obey he would make them do what they were told using the 'alpha command'. Daily gatherings at his house were required and you were expected to get along with everyone. Imprinting was explained, the legends were reviewed and patrol schedules were dealt out. You patrol, go to school, eat and slept. Not necessarily in that exact order but that is what their life consisted of.

She was angry at life, she was angry at Sam, angry at Emily, herself, her pack. She hated herself and what she had become but it was an awesome gift to the others except for Jacob and Embry. Jacob and Embry seemed most likely to understand but chose to ignore it or downplay it when she mentioned it to them. Jacob only cared about his Bella Swan and Embry would only tell her 'it's our duty'. Their attitudes grated her, the inattention and the indifference. So she lashed out; if no one was willing to listen to her or even understand then so be it. She didn't need them and she sure as hell didn't want them in her life.

Despite Sam's encouragement of togetherness she wasn't accepted right off the back. Jokes were made behind Sam's back about Leah's 'usefulness' within the pack. According to Paul, she was meant to be 'the pack's bitch' which was proven when she realized that she couldn't have a period anymore; no period means no kids – 'no kids means no need to worry about condoms'. Quil was forever searching her brain to find out as much about the other girls as possible. Seth just wanted her to do whatever their mom asked them to do. Her mom decided to cling to the first man that walked her way as she couldn't stand on her and to be added with the rez's view that mother and daughter, both, were just a pair of broken sluts catering to any man that was around.

Rumors didn't matter to the wolves as long as it wasn't about Emily since Sam made sure that he intimidated those people away. Sure the rumors still persisted and she, eventually, lost interest and/or contact with those doing the gossiping.

For a while Leah was isolated from anyone that wasn't pack related. The pack's emotions are controlled by the alpha and tune into with the 'true' alpha. It's an observation that she noticed when after her less than stellar greeting to Bella Swan, she was chewed out for being rude to Bella. The others were quick to go along with Jacob and encourage him to continue to pursue Bella. None of them could 'see' that she wasn't interested in him like that and that he was fighting a losing battle. She tried to tell him but he didn't want to believe her and told her that she was 'being jealous', 'proof that you're not over Sam' and 'you just want everyone else to be as miserable as you are'.

'Balance' didn't exist. Leah Clearwater does not bring balance.

"What about the split?" Ted asks once Leah stops and busies herself with plucking grass.

"I guess there was balance but it's not as if I had anything to do with it." Leah answers shrugging her shoulders and furrowing her brow. "I only got 'beta' because I was older than Seth. Sure Jacob said it was because I would always be truthful and brutally honest with him but really it was just a position given to me out of pity and to probably shut me up." She chuckles humorless. "By the time he made his decision he was about to imprint anyway. Did you know a wolf can feel when he's about to imprint?" Ted shakes his head. "They feel this pull and will mellow out a bit, do things that they normally would never do. For instance, Sam had picked flowers the day he imprinted, they were meant for me or so he had convinced himself, but instead was meant for Emily. Jared never paid attention in school but that day he was attentive to not only his teachers but the students around him. Quil, the day he phased, didn't flirt with any of the girls at school – that was especially unusual behavior. So Jacob suddenly picking a beta for a pack that he didn't want…only seems to fit into the pattern. Besides, his imprint provided him with the balance needed. After he imprinted did he want to become the alpha because then we could be used to protect her."

"What about the two of you?" Ted asks as he frowns. He hears what Leah is saying but it doesn't seem to fit in with what he's heard coming from the La Push alpha in just that conversation with John and also in what he's gleamed from Leah's thoughts and memories. The two of them were something more, more than what the imprint, she speaks of, should've allowed.

"Two of who?"

"You and Jacob, there was something more there." Ted clarifies. The two sit looking at each other for a moment. Ted notices a dark cloud fall across Leah's features for a moment before disappearing. He can see that she's about to lie to him before she even opens her mouth.

"We were alpha and beta, business partners," He chuckles and shakes his head. "Over time we became friends." Leah finishes up as she narrows her eyes at Ted's chuckle.

"Just 'friends'?" Ted asks with a smirk on his face.

"Yes, just friends." Leah repeats nodding her head. She's had this conversation before with plenty of other people; people who were looking too deeply into a relationship trying to find something that could never possibly exist. Leah shifts uncomfortably as the wolf inside her is urging her to get up and leave, put distance in between her and Ted.

"Yea, right. You're in love with the guy and you damn well know it." Ted states matter-of-factly. Leah's head shoots up to stare at Ted, her eyes wide and surprise written all over her face. "Don't look at me like that. You think about him a lot when you're not already thinking about John, worrying about school or how to dodge your old pack. You thought about him right after we killed those vamps." Leah looks down at her feet and fights back an angry snarl.

"Regardless, we are just 'friends'. He has his soul mate and no matter what I may feel it doesn't change anything." Leah admits softly as her eyes begin to sting. Others have accused her of 'trying to seduce Jacob' but no one has ever called her out on her feelings. Even Sue had only asked 'what is going on between you and Jacob Black?' Leah's fists tighten and her face begins to burn at Ted's bold statement and his complete disregard for everything that she's told him.

"Maybe it's because you never bothered to tell him how you felt?" Ted says shrugging his shoulder. Ted feels a smile spreading across his face as he's never had such an open conversation with anyone before whether it's about him or the other person. John and Gio have spent years trying to get Ted to open up with very little success. It's hard to explain but with Leah, Ted feels comfortable talking to her and even being open and honest with her. Maybe it's because the two of them are very similar.

Ted can smell the aggression rolling off of Leah the moment he came close to crossing the invisible line. None of his brothers ever felt comfortable enough to cross it and have steered clear of it but Ted knows, in order to get Leah back where she belongs, he needs to push her. He knows that she's going to be pissed soon, that they'll wind up yelling, arguing and possibly cursing at one another but it needs to be done.

"Don't talk about shit you know nothing about." Leah growls out.

_And the cursing begins_.

"I do know that you love Jacob." Ted states nodding his head. "Everyone else knows it but chooses to ignore it. John hates Jacob because of this love you've got for the guy." Ted states as his brow furrows. If John ever found out that Ted was trying to convince Leah to go back home, to La Push, and confess her love for her alpha, he'd be livid. "You should pick one or the other. We both know you can't have both."

"Don't you think I already know that?" Leah snaps. She looks away, her shoulders heaving, muscles tense and her fists clenched as she's trying to stay in control. "Besides it's not like I have a choice because it's already been made for me."

"So you just pack up your shit, well not really since you came here with nothing but the fur on your back, and decide to fall in love with the first authority figure that you come across." Ted states giving Leah a long side glance.

"It's a little early to say that I'm in 'love' with John." Leah states as she flexes her fingers trying to release the tension. "I seriously doubt that John is in love with me."

"Oh, okay…so you're just looking for a quick fuck." Ted throws out and Leah's right eye twitches.

_Another line crossed_.

"If I was after a quick fuck I would've been fucked already." Leah throws out as she fixes a hard glare on Ted. She bites her tongue trying to quit from throwing out a mean and spiteful insult at Ted, 'for a real quick fuck I would've just seduced you. Virgins never last long.' She can taste blood in her mouth as her teeth break the skin on her tongue.

"Say it, Leah." Ted orders as he growls at her. "You've got something really smart to say, don't you?" He asks nodding his head. "There's a reason why they called you a 'bitch'. What's the matter? Afraid to show that dark side of you? Thinking that we won't love you anymore?" Ted asks as there's a mock pouting to his tone.

"Shut the fuck up, Ted, I know what you're trying to do." Leah states as she spits blood onto the grass. "You're right, their reasons for calling me a bitch weren't completely unfounded," Leah admits with a dark and smug look across her face. "But I've learned to just accept it – everything. Sam was never meant to be the love of my life. I was never meant to give birth to children of my own. My life entails having a tail, never feeling cold and living a life of a creature that's only good for one thing and that's killing vampires. I have no legacy or gene to pass on. Sure maybe I could go home and just continue living out the rest of my existence looking over the rest of the pack's kids until they grow up, grow old, fall in love, have kids and eventually die; only to have the cycle pick itself back up again. I guess maybe I should just 'accept' the fact that my purpose is to simply look after cubs that will never be mine, run patrol by myself and accept that the only time anyone will pay me any real attention is when they need me to do something."

"Jacob loves you." Ted states. Leah's head whips around to face him so fast that it causes him to wince for a second. It'd surprise him if she didn't just now give herself whiplash.

"He loves me as a friend. Seth loves me as a sister. It's no different than any of the others."

"He's in love," Ted says but never finishes the sentence before suddenly there's a big sting on his cheek. His eyes are frozen in shock, unfocused, as he processes the realization that Leah slapped him.

"You really should think about what you're saying before you say it." Leah growls deeply.

Ted sits looking at her, still in shock, the hand that slapped him has now dropped to her side, her other hand is clenched tightly into a fist. Her chest is heaving, her body is shaking and the small hairs along her arm are standing up. There's a look in her eyes that causes any anger or aggression he'd have for her to dissipate – its sadness. Letting out a heavy sigh, Ted looks down at the ground beneath him. Sometimes the truth can hurt but he doesn't regret what he said because if Jacob is in love with her and she loves him then the least they can do is tell one another. The realization of what he's doing causes Ted to chuckle humorlessly. His spirit was definitely crazy to be trying to play matchmaker for two wolves.

"You're right, I should." Ted says slowly standing up and dusting off his pants. "I also think that you should think about what you're doing before you do it." Ted adds as Leah's brow furrows and her lips sticks out in a small pout. He smirks as she lets a soft, low 'sorry' escape her lips. "Here, I think you need to find the 'balance' within yourself and then you'll see exactly what I'm talking about." Leah's eyes widen at Ted's words before confusion washes over her features.

"A spirit quest, it doesn't sound as if your tribe bothered to do one." Ted throws out reading Leah's confusion and she slowly shakes her head.

"I remember hearing about them from my Dad when I was little. The boys always took one on their 12th birthday to help them learn about who and what they were to do with their lives." Leah offers up as she shrugs her shoulders.

"In our tribe, it worked out the same way. It used to be a 'rite of passage' but it's now something that's required of us 'skinwalkers'." Ted says as the two head back towards the store. "As a warrior and the only female, I think you especially need to do this. You may just find the peace you've been looking for."

"And then you can pack up my shit and send me back to La Push?" Leah asks with a small smile. "No, don't worry about it." Leah says dismissively as Ted frowns at her. "I get it. Women always find some way to stir up trouble, right?"

"Leah," Ted sighs as his shoulders slump. "I'm sorry about what I said but…you are stepping on my toes. How am I ever supposed to get promoted if you can come in, kiss John and I'm back at the bottom again?" Leah laughs at the comment while shaking her head. Ted fights back his own smile because despite it all, Leah was definitely 'one of the guys' and although she was prone to her emotional outbursts, bratty tantrums and used her natural God-given talents to get ahead – she wasn't that bad of a person once you got passed all of that. She just made him feel comfortable – and maybe that's why sometimes he just didn't trust her.

"Yea, believe me that's not something new to me. Paul, the La Push Paul, pretty much felt the same way when he found out that I was Jacob's beta. And just for the record, this is the first time that kissing every actually gave me a leg up over the competition." They both chuckle over the small 'canine' pun.

"I'm still not changing your number." Ted offers up as Leah grabs her bag and picks up her cellphone, pausing to look at it for a moment.

"Damn, I was kinda hoping that you'd've changed your mind." Leah says as she tosses her phone into her bag.

"Nothing doing but do think about the spirit walk." Ted says as he walks Leah to the front of the store. "You'll definitely find it an eye opening experience – it might even help you focus better in school." Leah nods her head as Ted gives her a brief wave before walking away.

* * *

A/N: So here goes the long awaited update. Sorry for the delay but had a serious case of writer's block. These last few months have been quite trying whether dealing with work, family, bills, student loans and school. So sorry to everyone for being away for so long – really, I've not read any of my PMs and it looks like I have a lot of catching up to do.

Hope everyone has enjoyed their holiday vacation and are ready for 2011. I got a Nook Color for Christmas and have been a reading fool. Actually I read two books on it: The Weight of Heaven and Pride and Prejudice. All the other books have been actually ink on paper.

I do have a partial update ready – well it's partial based upon the usual length of the other chapters in the past but I may just go with it in a few days. I'm just going to sleep on it and make sure that this is what I want to put out. So you all know what to do. ^-^ And I do have another story in the works but I'm done posting incomplete stories with a finished story idea. I'll only post stories that are completed! It's part of my New Year's resolution of becoming a better author and to stop feeling like a procrastinator.


	20. She Says, He Says, She Says

She Says, He Says, She Says

**Disclaimer: I do now own any of the Twilight characters, however, any and all OC do belong to me. So love or hate 'em every character you read about started off as a nobody. But if they are able to emit some kind of feeling, sensation or spark of energy then my work here is done...for the moment at least.**

* * *

Her focus is…off? Not really it's just shot at this point. She sees the professor at the head of the class, his lips moving, hands gesturing and there's a slight smile on his face because he truly not only believes in what he's talking about but he also loves it. Sociology the study of human behavior; a deeper look into the origins of human civilization, institutions and the growth and development of society as a whole and broken down not just on the man level but into smaller racial, gender and age groups.

A part of her enjoys all of her theory-based classes like sociology, philosophy and even psychology. Maybe because at some point in her life something has come up that has made her question her place within society, her morals and perceptions of reality and finally her own sanity. After all she went from being an average teenage girl struggling to make a life for herself on a reservation to suddenly becoming a giant canine. If that wasn't the foundation of a thesis paper to talk about the relational changes based upon societies expectations of women vs. men, culture, religion and duty then what was?

But thinking about writing a thesis paper is the furthest thing from her mind. Leah's eyes take in the movements of her professor giving off the impression that she is still the attentive student as her body automatically nods at the right points, looks down as if taking notes at the main points and even turning pages. Even the classroom has societal rules and expectations.

All of this is ignored as Leah's mind races over the conversation she had with Ted just a few hours ago. For some reason what he had said won't just leave her alone, his words keep scrambling up to the forefront of her thoughts.

It was his talk of purpose, balance and responsibility.

She had already fulfilled the first and final main points that he had brought up. Her purpose was to protect humans from vampires and rip them to pieces with her fangs and claws. Her responsibility was the same thing, to patrol, back-up her brothers and look out for her family. She did all of those things and sure she may have bitched, whined and complained along the way it didn't change the fact that she stuck to it. The Elders themselves had freed her from her duty to the tribe.

And why had they done such a thing?

Because there wasn't any need for her to continue running around the reservation sniffing out for something that wasn't there. Vampires had wandered into the wolves' territory but one look at Leah and they began explaining that they were there to visit the Cullens and then it was her job to 'escort' them to their final destination. Sometimes it infuriated her because she felt like an oversized dog being walked by her masters and the vampires carefree attitude toward their escort didn't ease the insult.

Vampires were no longer the threat that legend had made them out to be and even if they had 'killed' anyone the Cullens were quick to explain the incident away. It was a 'simple' mistake was always the excuse and it disgusted Leah that Jacob was always so forgiving and willing to cave into Bella and his beautiful, precious, sweet, loving and kind and intelligent and –

"Is everything alright, Leah?" Prof. Coleman asks snapping Leah out of her thoughts.

Shaking her head seems to have cleared the cataracts of old memories away as she is reintroduced to the present. Looking around Leah finds herself the center of attention as there are some looks of worry, fear and concern. She is only vaguely aware that she had started growling while caught up in the thoughts of Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

"S – Sorry, sinuses sometimes give me some problems." Leah says quickly with an apologetic smile. She clears her throat and even sniffs a few times as if she was suffering from a bit of congestion. The act relaxes the class as they all slowly turn back to pay attention to the professor.

"You really need to get those sinuses checked out." Leah looks over at the boy sitting next to her. "It sounded as if you were growling but like a really, really big dog." He adds with a small smirk on his face. "I've got a mastiff at home and my uncle a Great Dane but you'd scare them shitless sounding like that." He teases and Leah can't help but snort at him before looking away.

This was a perfectly good reason for why she didn't need to go back to La Push. Just the mere thought of all the adjectives Jacob could and would use to describe his imprint still put her in a dark and foul mood. Maybe it was partly because none of them loved her as Ted had so put it in his mocking, sarcastic and cynical manner but what was wrong with trying to find love on her own and in her own way? The world didn't revolve around Jacob Black's ass and besides –

A sharp nudge brings Leah back as she becomes aware that she was growling again.

She gives her neighbor an appreciative smile before trying to pay attention to her professor again which turns into a FAIL.

It's obvious that dealing with her Alpha – former Alpha – that it only brings about feelings that aren't happy, carefree and joyous. It's not that she doesn't care about Jacob because she does…just more than she should. But why should she go back to place where she's just stuck in a mindless rut? Should she really return all to satisfy Ted's own ego because he suddenly feels threatened by the slight bump or promotion within the pack's hierarchy? The so-called 'promotion' wasn't even something that she had realized until she was alone with Ted meaning that the pack hierarchy is defined by the Alpha and it's an unconscious decision made and then subconsciously shared by the rest of the pack.

_I'm just not ready to go back_.

Leah tells herself with a stern nod of her head in agreement with her own thoughts. It didn't mean that she'd never return to La Push because no matter what the place was her 'home'.

But isn't home where the heart is?

_Where is your heart then?_

The question rings out loudly in her head seeming to echo from deep within the depths of her soul.

It was both a complicated and simple question at the same time. Her heart was within her chest, beating a rhythm that dictated how her body worked in synchronization. It was also spread out with a piece being held by her mother, Seth had a part, Sam and Emily each had a part despite all attempts to completely rip the organ from their greedy little hands. Each member of the Black family had a part, her brothers as well and even her father had taken a piece of Leah's heart with him when he died. Even now John, Paul, Gio, Leo and even Ted and then there was the family that she was growing to love.

She loved them all very much but…was this really her home? Where she belonged and could start anew?

But start anew what? A new life doing the same thing that she was doing before but with different guys?

They were different but guys were guys. They were her friends as long as it didn't cross the line of becoming something more physical. Physicality is just one of the reasons why things with Sam went so poorly but then did that mean that she should become celibate?

_When was the last time you had sex?_

A while but I'm not hurting for it.

_Of course not because you're a girl and girls don't need sex. We want it._

True.

_So what is it that you need? What do you want to get out of this?_

I want to – to find myself, find my place in the world. Learn more about myself.

_What have you learned from the 'boys'?_

Well…I learned that it's alright to sometimes do what I feel is right even if it goes against my nature and mainstream thinking; like Jacob did when he broke off from Sam's pack. Learned that you get out of life what you put into it; like Seth and his perpetually happy mood. No matter what, that only I can define myself…?

Leah begins to run through a quick checklist in her head of the life lessons that she's learned from her brothers back in La Push. She even begins to run through the things that she's learned since joining John's pack; about mountain climbing, learning how to relax and not let the past haunt her and that it's possible to still live a normal life while protecting the tribe.

_What else can you learn here that you couldn't learn back there?_

The voice continues on speaking to Leah and the idea hits her.

* * *

John has sat outside the hallway of Leah's sociology class waiting for her. He always waits for her whenever the two of them share the same shift. He's her ride and loves listening to her talk about what was discussed in class; the way her eyes light up about a topic that she fully grasps and even the small pout that forms on her lips when she's frustrated with trying to understand.

Today is an off day for Leah as John can see that she's not paying attention to what the professor is saying. He can see the far-off look in her eyes, the way her eyes follows the professor's movement as if alert but there's a slightly glossy look to her usually clear hazel eyes that says otherwise. It's a look that has John feeling anxious.

_She's listening to her spirit._

He recognizes the look as it is something that he's witnessed in watching his own brothers. It's the spirit taking over the body of its host as the two communes. John's anxiety is stemming from the fact that Leah doesn't seem to be aware of the state that she is in which is always a dangerous situation. The human that cannot control the spirit within is always susceptible to others coming without their knowing or bidding. This is also not the first time that Leah's spirit has taken over her body pushing the girl's mind and control aside for its own goal.

John can hear the growl that is rumbling from Leah with his sensitive ears and watches with a deep frown as the professor snaps Leah out of her thoughts. He can see that it is truly her that makes up the excuse of having a sinus problem.

A sense of helplessness washes over him as just as quickly as Leah came out of her trance she falls back into it. Her spirit even taking notes for her and his eyes darken suspiciously eyeing the woman before him. Again there is the growling but before it can carry on for too long the guy next to her gives her a nudge to bring Leah back again.

Class ends and Leah remains in her seat for a moment as she begins to pack up her belongings. She even pulls out her phone to give her something to focus on besides the word around her, minimal contact to keep the spirit and soul communicating.

John has that sense of being torn once again as his own spirit tells him to leave the girl alone – to trust that everything is alright and that no harm will befall her. But his reason, logic and feelings for the girl say otherwise; they tell him that Leah is being pushed back while she's at school is dangerous. If her spirit can move her body then it means that she can walk into things or worse walk out into traffic. Deep down he knows that Leah has let her spirit lead her to him and his pack with no harm or problem.

It's not that John lacks any faith in Leah's spirit keeping her safe but it's the thought that Leah's spirit will lead her away from him. That the girl that has been brought into his life so unexpectedly can leave just the same. This girl who was a complete stranger has found a way to make it seem as if she's always been here with him; the way she fits in with his family and his pack is a rare thing he's not experienced with anyone before, not even Lisa. Ted has mentioned that the pack's comfort level with Leah all stems from the simple fact that she's a wolf already, she knows the rules, doesn't tease them for their canine slips, that she enjoys belching contests, their all night gaming tournaments and watching action movies. In short, she was a girl that also got along so well with them as guys that it was only natural for them to all like her – she was different from other girls.

John isn't sure if Ted is right or maybe it's just Ted's negative attitude looking to down play Leah's role within the pack but as he stands up, fighting against his spirit's desire that he not block Leah's path, and he looks at her awaiting her to bump into him. He watches as her eyes light up as if a brilliant idea has hit her and a few inches short of walking into him does she stop. Despite himself John smiles down at her seeing the look of pride in her warm eyes and is both relieved and concerned at how quickly her spirit has disappeared.

"Hey John," Leah greets him with a bright smile, a smile that he can't help but return.

"Hey Lily," John returns wrapping an arm around her waist. He watches amused as Leah's eyes widen slightly, the way her heart begins to race as he pulls her closer to his chest. The smile slowly turns into a smirk as he focuses in on Leah's lips, the way her tongue slowly flicks out wetting her lips which he has noticed is an unconscious habit of hers but a very sexy one. He feels emboldened as Leah looks up at him, her chin rising and finally he sees nothing else as his eyes flutter close and he captures her lips in his. Holding her close he kisses her soft lips and lets his worries and insecurities fall off of his shoulders in the moment. It's a vain attempt to hold onto something that is frivolous, fleeting and unsustainable.

He's not sure exactly how he'll manage to hold onto something that is so rare, so imbalanced and seeking freedom but he'll figure it out somehow. There is no explanation – logical or otherwise – for why he feels this pull towards a girl that he hadn't trusted nor wanted to trust the moment he laid eyes on her.

All John knows is that as he walks down the hallway with his arm wrapped around Leah's shoulder, leading her to his car, hearing her talk about her day and that is that he'll do anything for her – anything to keep her.

* * *

He stands on the outskirts of an invisible line that he knows that he shouldn't cross, the hairs on the back of his neck stands up and he takes in a deep and unnecessary breathe. An even more pointless swallow follows as his brow furrows and he tries to see something that isn't there but he knows exists. Time has no meaning to him or his kind but he can feel it slowly ticking by as he awaits her return.

They've been out here running along this invisible barrier trying to find a safe place to break through and carry out the rest of Abby's plan – revenge plan. It's a plan that is starting to seem pointless and the more he thinks about it the more he starts to see them being dicked around by some little spoilt haflling.

A growl catches in Chris's throat as he thinks about the bronze-haired girl that has sent them on this wild goose chase for a girl that probably didn't exist. He and Abby had happened upon the innocent little mutt-whisperer as they were trying to find out about 'Big Red' and the rest of his pack of scraggly mutts. She had smiled at them and lured them in with her pretty words of the ultimate revenge – an attack on 'Big Red's' heart, a love lost, a girl that was plain and simple. This girl – this _Leah_ was supposed to be the key to breaking down the entire pack, destroying the infrastructure as it were. She, Renesmee as she was called, had stated that this Leah was the only female within the pack and it only took the pair to put together that as wolves an 'Alpha pair' is needed to keep the pack in check and repopulate.

It was all so simple, basic, natural and animalistic that it made complete sense – or at least it should have. The only problem, at least that Chris saw, was if this Leah was so important to Big Red then why wasn't he out looking for her? How was _she_ able to break free of the invisible fence that kept the others locked in? These were the questions that haunted him as he ran along the U.S. and Canadian border trying to find an opening that would lead him to this girl.

Looking up he can smell Abby heading in his direction and only raises an inquisitive eyebrow when she suddenly appears before him.

"Any luck?" Chris asks knowing that she hasn't had any.

"No," She sighs deeply as she shakes her head. "No matter how far I travel eventually I can move north but then…there's the 'danger'." Abby admits with a deep frown as she crosses her arms and looks at the barrier that is keeping her at bay. Her senses are screaming at her that crossing the line is danger, its suicide – that this territory is much more dangerous than the area surrounding Forks. That the threat is very much the same as the wolves but so much more sinister.

"So?" Chris asks snapping her out of her thoughts.

"So…it's much too dangerous." Abby says narrowing her eyes at Chris. "If this _Leah_ does exist then she's definitely crossed over into a pack that is much more serious and deadlier than these mutts."

"So…it'd seem that we've come across an impasse." Chris says with a bitter chuckle as he scratches the back of his head. "Meaning that we need to go back to our source and really see what she knows." Chris says with a devilish smirk. Despite their dislike for one another Abby finds herself unable to hold back her own smile that is full of mischievous glee.

If Re-ne-se-me didn't want to play nice then Chris was definitely the one to get anything and _everything_ out of her.

"Well then…lets go pay the Princess a visit then, shall we?" Abby asks as Chris nods at her and they head back towards Forks.

* * *

**A/N: So! I finally did it! The words finally came to me and I've been able to put them down on paper. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long but I've been struggling with some serious writer's block - trying to sift through other story ideas to clear my head enough to focus. Now whether or not I've found it permanently or just for the night I won't lie - I'm not sure. But something is better than nothing, right? Right.**

**So you all know what to do: Be Kind and Review! ^-^ If you don't then eh, we'll just never get to know each other and that's just a damn shame but that's your loss and not mine.**


	21. Change of Plans

Change of Plans

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. I don't think I could sleep at night knowing that I screwed Jacob over and, AND then would allow it to be made into a movie where Renesmee is supposed to be a teenager and kiss him? *gags***

**Thanks for the image, Cu, thanks! *storms off grumbling and kicking rocks* Stupid SM.**

* * *

She sits calmly with her head held high, there's an almost regale look about her. It's as if they are beneath her or that she truly believes that whoever is going to come and rescue her will have no problem dispatching with the two nuisances that have interrupted her day. The cold defiant look in her deep brown eyes aggravates Abby. The way she sits and has the gall to look down her nose at them reminds her of the snotty, stuck-up bitches that used to tease, harass and bully her and her sister back when they were mere humans.

They know that she's half human-half vampire as she's 'taken the time' to explain that fact to them. According to her, it is because of her beating heart that she is able to move about freely without drawing too much attention to herself, however, judging by the expensive, high fashion designer clothes that she's wearing it's highly unlikely that she 'blends in' well at all. This small Podunk-of-a-town is made up of small mom and pop shops where everyone recognizes everyone else and the economy is struggling – gasping for air, actually, judging by the small abandoned building that Chris has found to 'interrogate' the Princess.

"How much longer are you planning on holding me?" Renesmee asks with a tone of boredom. "I don't smell the stench of _dog_ on either of you – meaning that you've _failed_ to find Leah." Renesmee continues on and chooses to ignore the quick exchange of glances between the male and female vampire.

Renesmee had happened upon the pair while she was out hunting. Over the years, Renesmee has grown quite a taste for human blood, courtesy of her loving and devoted imprint, Jacob Black, however, since his sudden change in moods it has meant settling for animal blood to quench her thirst. Edward and Rosalie both sensing her distress had recommended that she hunt down wolves and feed off of them as 'there can't be _much_ of a difference between the two' Rosalie had commented. Needless to say, Renesmee has been highly disappointed in the bouquet.

Picking up an unfamiliar scent Renesmee had wandered off to go investigate and was greatly surprised to see the vampires that had been giving the Quileutes the slip. Talking to them it was obvious that they were out for revenge for the death of their mate and biological sister. Renesmee isn't exactly sure what triggered the idea but the moment it hit her it was as if she'd been hit with a bolt of electricity. The pair had a grudge against the wolves and Renesmee had one against a particular wolf. Everything had stemmed from Leah's absence and in Renesmee's eyes Leah had to pay for her selfish transgressions. Had she not left then she would've either been killed by the trio of vampires or would've called for back-up, Jacob would've introduced himself and Carlisle would pardon them. Instead, Leah's absence had somehow thrown the balance of power off whack and had convinced Jacob and the others that they had the right to do whatever they pleased.

The pair was quick to believe the notion that there was a female that was missing from the pack, that she was somehow important to Jacob – Renesmee had feigned a cough to hide her disgusted chuckle at the absurd idea – and that by catching her that they'd hold the wolves by the tails. That was two weeks ago and Renesmee is aggravated that they dared to return, capture her and hold her hostage over their inability to find one bitch.

"It's much too dangerous." Abby states as she stands before Renesmee with her arms crossed.

"What do you mean?" Renesmee asks narrowing her eyes.

Renesmee has not seen Jacob in a month and has fallen out of the loop of what is going on. He never patrolled near the Cullens border, if at all, and none of the wolves held conversations possibly fearing Edward overhearing their thoughts.

"This Leah is either a force not to be reckoned with," Chris answers moving to stand beside Abby with his hands shoved into the pockets of a leather jacket he's stolen or taken off of his latest victim. "Or she's with another pack of wolves that makes these mongrels look like a pack of yapping poodles."

"I have a sixth sense for danger." Abby explains noticing Renesmee's eyes narrow as she tries to process the information she's received.

The three see the issue if there is another pack of wolves running around – especially wolves that seem to have a possibly larger territory than the Quileutes. In Renesmee's eyes it's a pack of wolves that will have no loyalty or treaty with her family.

"And we suddenly became curious about Leah, Big Red…and you." Abby adds pressing her palms together and giving Renesmee with a big smile. "You see we didn't quite understand how you knew so much about this because there is one thing for certain about these wolves and that is: they aren't stupid." Abby adds with a sigh. "We can look at you and tell you're more than human and I bet they can do the same as well."

"You said that you've picked up names through observation and interaction with the locals." Chris adds flexing his fingers watching as his bones slide underneath his skin.

"But no one seems to know this 'Leah' girl." Abby adds as she begins to walk around Renesmee.

"At least not here in Forks," Chris mumbles before crouching down in front of Renesmee.

"And not many people know about you either leaving us to believe that you don't really interact with the people around here – if at all." Abby says coldly standing behind Renesmee.

Renesmee feels her stomach drop as she quickly turns to look at the girl behind her. She was not worried even when the two vampires had tied her up because she was expecting someone to have found her by now. Surely if they meant to hurt her Alice would see and Rosalie would've noticed her absence over an hour ago but no one had come within the last hour. The ropes that have her bound are stating to bite into her flesh, chaffing her skin and despite her stoic front; her shoulders are beginning to ache from the strain of this new position. The air in the tiny room has also shifted, the change taking place the moment Abby is out of her line of sight leaving only Chris in front of her.

"How old are you Renesemess?" Abby asks and slides her tongue over her teeth when the girl growls.

"It's Re-ne-se-mee." Renesmee corrects. "It's a combination of Renee and Esme."

"I really don't give a flying fuck if your name is Meghan Fox." Chris sighs as he rolls his eyes. "Just answer the question."

"How old are you, Princess." Abby repeats with a snarl.

"I'm seventeen." Renesmee hisses out as she begins to struggle with her ropes as Chris places his hand on her thigh. Her patience with this pair has run out and she hopes that she can outrun them long enough to find her family or the wolves.

"I hate liars." Chris states with a smirk. Renesmee looks at him, her eyes wide and hair wild from her feeble attempts to break the bonds. Without warning there's a searing heat on the right side of her face. Her face burns and feels as if it's wet all at the same time that leaves her stunned for a moment. Biting down on her bottom lip Renesmee slowly opens her eyes and looks over to her right to see Abby standing over with her hand raised.

"I suggest that you start telling us the truth; otherwise, Abby, here," Chris says with a knowing smirk and nodding his head at Abby, "will beat the truth out of you."

Abby receives a sense of sick satisfaction when she notices the frightened and surprise look upon Renesmee's face when Chris tells her the alternatives. Sure, Chris could just 'take' the truth from her but where's the fun in that? Besides the girl lied to them and sent them on a suicide mission after some girl that probably does or never existed.

"You – you can't do this." Renesmee states in wide-eyed fear as she looks in between the two.

"Oh, can't we?" Chris asks and nods at Abby to strike Renesmee again. There's a cry of pain as Abby punches Renesmee in the eye, the blow immediately causing the eye to begin to balloon and color. There's a whimper of pain as Renesmee hangs her head, eyes shut tight and she tries to curl herself into a tight ball.

"Now, how old are you?" Abby demands fisting Renesmee's hair.

"You don't know what you're getting yourselves into." Renesmee yells as she jerks her head trying to break free of Abby's hold. There's another hard slap. "You'll be killed – you must not know who my family is."

"I can only assume the Cullens thus the name Renesmee Cullen." Chris says with a look of disgust as he picks up a dirty rag and wipes Renesmee's blood off. Her blood smells tainted to him as it's not quite human and he can only assume it's the vampire genes in her that makes her unappealing to her full-blooded cousins.

"No, my grandfather is Carlisle Cullen," Renesmee begins to explain in a hurry trying to push past the pain of the beatings. "We – we've made a stand against the Volturri – they fear us." At the mention of the Volturri Chris motions for Abby to stop her assault on the girl.

"The Volturri _fears_ your coven?" Chris asks gripping Renesmee's chin and raising her head to look at him.

"Of course," Renesmee spits venomously causing Chris to step back and wipe his face in disgust.

"This changes things." Chris says wit ha deep sigh as he looks over at Abby.

* * *

The red house stands in front of him looking the same as the first day he saw it and had been invited inside to watch some afternoon cartoons. Embry has never turned down an opportunity to be over at the Blacks' home and now, for the first time – ever, he really wishes he had somewhere else to go, somewhere else to be. He could be with his imprint but for some reason her presence was starting to annoy him and vice versa. He stilled cared for her because they had been together for over a year, almost two, but now that the wolves were needed, again, to run a full-time patrol the pack life was putting a strain on their relationship. Not many were spared the cold and hateful looks with the exception of Paul, Quil, Sam and Jared; the latter two were spared mainly because there were children to occupy their imprints' thoughts and time. Maybe the issue also lied in the fact that these newer imprints did not have any ties to the reservation outside of the wolves themselves?

The thought causes Embry to pause for a moment as he walks up the front porch steps. His hesitation draws Quil's attention causing him to stop and look back at his brother with a small frown. To Embry it doesn't make any sense because if imprinting was meant to strengthen the pack and the wolf became anything and everything the imprint wanted and needed – then why imprint on a female that would take them away? Did imprinting serve some other purpose?

Shaking his head of the confusing and rhetorical thoughts Embry offers Quil a reassuring smile and continues up the remaining two steps to the front door. Without bothering to knock they enter, at least that part hasn't changed. The mood in the house is a definite change from outside that held some sense of calm but a hint of tension, as if some scent of the impending danger is being carried on the wind.

Quil and Embry exchange glances as they see Rachel in the kitchen cooking which isn't out of the ordinary but it's the loud music that is playing. Both wolves had heard some kind of tune muffled within the four walls of the house but the music that is playing is what has Quil looking around to make sure he's in the right house and Embry worried how far their Alpha has fallen to make him resort to listening to NSync Gone.

"He's in his room _still_ moping." Rachel says cutting her eyes at the two wolves and two new mouths that will more than likely will have to be fed. The two nod their head and head down the hall ignoring Rachel's grumbling of greedy wolves and how worthless the rest of the women are in the pack, 'can't even bother to bring food with them so that we can eat while they bitch'.

Embry's frown deepens as he sees Jacob collapsed on his bed with his head buried underneath his pillow. Jacob's mood had been touch-and-go since that night Leah called and then following Leah's rant about no one from La Push calling her. Sue had confirmed that Leah wasn't the least bit interested in talking to her either and that changing her phone number was an easy habit of their runaway beta.

Jacob wasn't always so down but he wasn't happy either. Most times he was calm, quiet, serious and almost animalistic. Those were the times where the pack was the most at peace, in union and the other times small skirmishes and scuffles would break out. It's obvious that the two packs had within them smaller clicks, those wolves that just got along better than all the others but combining them all has brought about a lot of strife and conflict.

"Jake, get up, man." Quil barks and shakes Jacob's shoulder. Jacob growls at Quil but sits up nonetheless. He looks between the two of them before letting out a huge yawn and scratching his chest. He'd had another dream last night, about the taller version of himself telling him about what to do about the pack, Leah, the Cullens and the rogue vampires. And not necessarily in that order as well.

"Are you listening to break-up music?" Embry asks drawing Jacob's attention. Cocking his head to the side Jacob focuses in on the music and groans.

I've been sittin' here, can't get you off my mind

I'm tryin' my best to be a man and be strong

I've drove myself insane wishing I could touch your face

But the truth remains

Standing up he walks out into the hallway followed by Quil and Embry. Throwing a dark glare at Rachel does Jacob stop the old stereo player and takes the CD out of the disc shuffler. Quil and Embry both press themselves against the wall as their Alpha stomps by and holds the disc up in front of Rachel's place.

"Don't play this again – ever." Jacob hisses with Rachel glaring back at him unblinking. Quil and Embry both hold their breaths as Jacob snaps the disc in two and smirks at Rachel as if he's won some kind of victory.

"That was Leah's CD," Rachel says with a small smile before turning back around as Jacob pales.

Quil and Embry both fight to hold back their laughter as Jacob begins cursing under his breath and looks down at the broken CD in his hands. It's obvious that he's already trying to figure out if it's possible to glue it back together.

"Maybe that's all is needed to get Leah to talk to you again?" Quil says and immediately regrets his words as Embry stops laughing and Jacob's shoulders slump. "Sorry," Quil apologizes rubbing the back of his head. "But we all know that Leah will only break her silence if she's really pissed off about something."

"Yea, and she loves gifts, so just get her a new…one?" Embry offers up not wanting to help Quil out.

Jacob sighs and begins wondering if they even _make_ CDs anymore? His thoughts are interrupted as there is a loud howl, a warning howl of vampire or vampires within their territory. Placing the CD down on the kitchen table Jacob runs outside of the house, followed by Quil and Embry, and begins quickly stripping his clothes. His thoughts quickly go back to his dream last night; the warning that the vampires (rogue and Cullens) must be dealt with before he can even think about Leah.

The moment feet transform into paws is Jacob hit with many voices talking, a few yelling and a lot of curses mixed in between. Shuffling through the voices, Jacob focuses in on one of the voices and sees Bella. Growling low he heads off towards the Cullen-La Push borderline ignoring all the yelling and chaos ensuing around him. He can pick up Bella demanding to know where he is, where she is and how they can't keep her from coming on to La Push land. There's a sense of awe in how Paul has fought the urge to rip Bella and the rest of the Cullens to pieces. But Jacob doesn't allow the awe to stay with him long because Edward is present and would be able to read the pack's minds if they did plan to attack his wife.

Things begin to calm down the moment Jacob makes appearance in that Bella stops with her yelling and screeching and the wolves step back, calming down their snarling and growling. Walking forward he stops short of the treaty line and looks at Edward expectantly.

Edward sighs noting that Jacob isn't phasing; the amount of trust that had been built up between the Cullens and the wolves seems to have been shattered overnight. In the back Edward can see Seth watching Bella closely because it's not beneath her to charge in a blind rage, after all she did it the first she saw Jacob after her transformation. Edward knows this mistrust has nothing to do with Leah but more so to do with his wife and daughter's, missing daughter, attitude. The two had grown accustomed to having Jacob cater to their every wishes and desires always playing upon his feelings and imprint towards them. It should've been expected that had it not been for the imprint that Jacob would've eventually grown tired of Bella's mind games and completely cut of her off for his own sanity.

"Where is she?" Bella demands glaring at Jacob with her arms crossed and her head held high.

The confusion is apparent as Jacob's eyebrows raise and his head cocks to the side in a very canine fashion.

"Don't play dumb, Jacob," Bella hisses. "Where is Renesmee?" The question doesn't elicit the expected whimpering or sudden agitation of concern for the youngest of the imprints. Edward and Jasper exchanges looks as the wolves only look to Jacob for some sign of how they should feel about the news.

"He doesn't know." Edward answers his wife never taking his eyes off of the russet wolf.

"How can he not know?" Bella demands turning to Edward, asking the man instead of the animal in front of her.

"Love, Jacob has not had any sort of interaction with Renesmee for some time. We all know that." Edward answers as Jacob relays that he's not bothered to speak to his imprint in weeks and in fact hasn't bothered patrolling near their territory specifically to avoid her.

"Well she's his imprint and he has to go out and find her – now." The order is obvious and the idea of a vampire treating the pack like her own especially trained hunting dogs unnerves the wolves that have had little to no contact with the Cullens before.

"Jacob says he doesn't – doesn't have to do anything." Edward repeats and a look of worry crosses his face.

Renesmee had gone out early that morning and still had yet to return. Alice has only been able to pick up that she was either being hurt at the current moment or was going to be hurt soon. A beaten, bloodied and nearly broken Renesmee being found along the side of the road was the image that Alice had received. Everything else before that was blocked signaling that the wolves were involved somehow.

The idea had crossed Bella and Rosalie's mind that Renesmee may have tried to cross the border and the beating would be her punishment. However, the others doubted that Jacob would actually be so cruel as to torture and beat Renesmee, regardless of her bloodlines. Edward is relieved that none of the wolves seemed to even have inkling for why the Cullens were knocking at their borders. Jacob was the best one at hiding his thoughts but even Jacob wasn't perfect and if a particular question was asked then a thought was bound to slip out.

"What does that mean?" Bella snaps her head whipping around to face Jacob.

Jacob remains unfazed as Bella's honey-colored eyes stare into his. Whatever magic or power they once held over him is long gone; disappeared the very second her heart stopped beating and she ceased to live. He can see her trying to remember what she used to do that made him smile at her like an idiot and then bend over backwards for her; try to recall the formula that would make him turn his back on his family, friends, culture, heritage and responsibility to ensure that she had anything and everything she could ever hope for.

"It means that he doesn't care about Renesmee." Rosalie answers coldly as her nose crinkles in disgust. The stench of wet dog is overpowering and makes her feel filthy.

"No, he has to care. That's what the imprint does – it makes him care, love her and be anything she wants him to be." Bella snaps clenching her hands into tight fists.

"What makes you think we know where the child is?" Jacob looks back to see Sam standing a little off to his right, arms crossed and in his cut offs.

"Where else would she be?" Bella asks with a sneer.

"Why can't you find her?" Seth asks joining Sam wanting to get his questions answered directly. Neither wolf may agree with Jacob's refusal to play nice with the Cullens but it's obvious that there is a problem that needs to be addressed; regardless of bad blood.

"She's missing." Edward speaks up cutting off his wife. At this point its best if he speaks to the wolves rather then allow Bella. "Alice sees her hours later but she's been beaten." This news causes all of the wolves' ears to perk up; all knowing that Halflings are closer to shifters then vampires with their body temperature, chromosome count (whatever that was supposed to mean) and ability to grow rapidly. Renesmee healed faster than an average human but it was very slow compared to that of a shifter but it would mean that who ever was beating her either had her greatly outnumbered or was much stronger than a half-breed – a vampire.

The Cullens look on as Jacob gets to his paws and Sam and Seth disappear behind the cover of trees to phase back into their wolf forms. Turning around it's obvious that a few orders are being issued as certain wolves nod their heads at the same time then followed by another bunch. The pack splits up leaving Jacob and Sam behind having a conversation that is only heard with Edward and the rest of the wolves that have already left.

"They've agreed to look for her," Edward answers as Jacob looks back and nods his head before running off with Sam behind him. There's a small sigh of relief from the coven realizing that they have their allies back to help them search for their missing member. "They believe that the vampires they've been hunting for might be involved." Edward asks and this causes them all to freeze.

"That would explain why Alice isn't able to see Renesmee until after they are out of the picture. It's because they are doing all of this with the pack in mind." Esme explains with a small frown.

"Yea…but, but why can't Alice get an idea of what they look like? Why wouldn't Renesmee just show Alice an image of what they look like or where they had taken her?" A silence falls upon the family as they all try to come up with some explanation to why Alice is unable to retrieve more details. In the back of their minds, the fear sits, simmering, festering and growing like a mold that the only explanation to why Renesmee does not share more about her captures is that she's not able to. Nothing in this world is indestructible, invincible – everything has something that can destroy it which is simply how the balance of life works. There may have been a time where the vampire's world only threat was one another but the Quileutes have proven that there is something else that can destroy them and vice versa.

"Instead of just standing around here let's get out there and help out too." Emmett speaks up breaking the silence and stopping any ideas of death or dying. Nodding their heads the Cullens immediately split up into their couples and head out to search for the missing Renesmee.

* * *

A/N: Alright so here goes the next update. Sorry it's taken so long but there was a piece that I started typing up and really didn't like it or felt that it was going with my whole plan for the interaction. As usual I've typed this up as work as this seems to be the only place where I'm free to get some thinking and typing done without drawing too much attention to myself. Go figure.

So there you go Team Jacob fans. No John anywhere in sight and I'm sorry but I just can't fathom how some of you can't like him. I mean I get being a diehard Jacob fan but…I mean, not even for your own spank bank? Or maybe that's just me and a handful of others. ^-^ But even if you love to hate John that is perfectly fine with me because at least I'm getting some kind of rise outta ya.

But going back to typing this up at work it means I did not proof. T-T So I'm sorry for those of you who are going to be reading this rough draft until I sit up and decide to read through this and make any corrections. But tell me what you think and everyone have a great weekend!

Loves, hugs, WILFs and deuces ^-^v


	22. Ambush

Ambush

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters but I do own all of the OC characters. I know some people don't but then where is the villainy and drama supposed to come in at? Bad guys should be bad to the core like Voldemort! Now HE was a bad guy through and through. Not some pussy-ass vampire like Aro who chickens out of what was supposed to be an EPIC battle between wolves and vampires just because…just because. I've got a lot of books in my library and only TWO that I hate. Breaking Dawn and Mockingjay…I'm looking at you. *points at eyes and points at aforementioned books***

* * *

She lies on the cold, hard and unforgiving floor – no, the floor is forgiving because it offers up both the warmth and coolness that she needs. The coolness acts as some liquid salve to the open wounds along her face, neck and body that it comes in contact to while at the same time providing a warmth, being nothing more than the heat from her own blood that has pooled on the floor, that seems to keep her holding on; not onto the waking world but to the world of the living itself. Renesmee Carlie Cullen has experienced fear but never to this magnitude. When the Volturri had shown up with their guards and 'witnesses' she had felt apprehension and anxiety but that was only because majority of the people before her were strangers as were the bulk of the wolves standing and supporting her Jacob. The idea or thought that were those out there bold enough and heartless enough to hurt her, to break her beautiful face and mock her is almost surreal.

For a moment Renesmee regrets ever running into the two vampires, telling them to go in search of Leah Clearwater because this is a pain and sense of helplessness she'd never wish on another soul – especially since now she's experienced firsthand how quickly the tide can turn.

Thought escapes her as she slips in and out of consciousness. Calling for help seems impossible as every part of her hurts – feels broken. The female vampire, Abby, was ruthless quickly going from slapping Renesmee around to punching her in the face, chest, throat and even the stomach. The two vampires had looked down on her in disgust when after the first punch to the stomach Renesmee regurgitated her breakfast of eggs, toast and blood. She was then verbally assaulted and told how disgusting she was, how beneath them she was at being only half-vampire while carrying all of the weaknesses and slovenly habits of a human before she blacked out.

The beatings did not relent as the male, Chris, threw water on her and violently shook her awake. His only consolation or form of comfort being, 'Abigail truly hates people that lie. If you were as smart as you _were_ pretty, you'd tell her what we want to know.' Somehow, the past tense on her looks had shaken Renesmee and remembering what it was that the vampires wanted was the furthest from her mind. Her pride resided in her beauty as her whole family and even Jacob and Seth made it a point to point out to her how beautiful and perfect she was. Her beauty was to remain with her and never be tarnished, diminished or destroyed and yet it had been and was going to continue to be.

Abigail and Chris didn't care how much Renesmee cried and pleaded for them to stop. Crying, sniveling and mumbling how much she wanted to go home. It reminded Abigail of a broken record how she only repeated what 'she' wanted and never giving them the information that would mean her freedom – or death, she was undecided.

Chris had made Abby pause to find out more about the little pretty, pretty princess's ties to the Volturri. She had only heard a small snippet of information of them from Chris and it was that they ruled the vampire world like a president, czar, dictator or royalty. The long and short was to not do anything to draw their attention. The girl then began to sing like a canary telling them about her ties with the Volturri and it was apparent to the two vampires that girl was still withholding information. So the beatings commenced. It was freeing, liberating and tasted of sweet revenge to be taking out all of her anger, aggression and frustration out on Renesmee; it was as if Abby was getting revenge for all the years of torment that she and Gabby had suffered at the hands of the 'cool' and/or 'rich' kids back in school. The ridicule that they suffered because they had no mother, their father was a drunkard, meth head and had a rap sheet longer than their parents' credentials, credit, loans and 401Ks put together. Besides the bitch was playing her the same as Big Red by teasing them, toying them with something that they wanted.

Chris had long since devised a plan that would help them get their revenge and it left Abby free to torture Princess Renesmee as much as she wanted – just so long as she didn't kill her that was the main thing. During her last blackout Chris had used his 'talent', a form of osmosis, and absorbed the talent and knowledge that Renesmee possessed – that was how Chris found out the truth about the twins' situation. It's a dangerous talent when left in hands such as his and Abby's hidden talent, her sixth sense, told her that he was not only a threat physically but socially and psychologically as well. She can't help but smirk to herself as Renesmee begins to slowly regain consciousness that his talent would be an asset to her.

Chris learned that Renesmee's coven consisted of eight members more; a family of grandparents, Carlisle and Esme, and so-called uncles, Emmett and Jasper Hale, aunts, Rosalie Hale and Alice and finally her parents, Edward and Isabella. Carlisle was a doctor at the local hospital but the family has been in hiding for the last three years for the sake of their precious granddaughter who was romantically interested in one Jacob Black, son of Billy Black, chief of the Quileute tribe in La Push and the one and only, Big Red.

The other members of their family were a mixture of talents: Emmett was the strongest and his size did not leave room for doubt, Jasper was a former general for the Confederacy and a combat expert, Alice was able to see the future but her weakness was the wolves, Edward could read minds within a six mile radius and Bella could put up a shield that could protect anyone within its boundaries from mental attacks. The Volturri were interested in having Edward, Alice and Bella join their guards, a high honor according to Chris.

What the two have gained: is that the Volturri do not fear the Cullens, if anything they fear the wolves that were up until some time ago connected strongly with the Cullens. Big Red was Native American and did truly have an interest in Leah Clearwater who had supposedly gone north but whatever else happened there Renesmee did not know. It would've been beneficial if _Jacob_ still had his bond, this imprint, with Renesmee because then they could use her to their advantage and have their revenge that much quicker. It would seem that even now the other wolves' imprints were weakening and meant that even if they could get their hands on the other females the clout that they'd have wouldn't carry that much weight. At least the women do still seem to have a leash onto their wolves that physically restrict them within their territory and that is the one sure thing that ensures their safety.

"So are you done with her?" Chris asks standing behind Abby and frowning down at Renesmee, the girl that was once a beauty and now is a swollen, bloody and bruised color mess upon the cement floor. Her eyes are swollen shut along with her face, lips and her hands. He no doubts believes that many of her bones are broken, especially in that face of hers. Once Abby found out that the little Miss could heal, she began to deal punches that would no doubt cause multiple fractures and ensured that if her dear Papa Carlisle decided to mend her that it would be most painful as it would require the re-breaking of every bone in her little body.

He did have to hand to her, _she is a cold-hearted bitch_.

"Yea, I suppose. So are we going after the mind-reader or the one that can see the future?" Abby asks giving Renesmee a swift kick to the gut, her lips twitching into a smile as Renesmee tries to gasp out in pain but her lips refuse to part. There's a small trail of bile, blood and saliva that seeps out through her mouth and Abby hopes that she chokes on her own vomit.

"Jasper seems to be one of the better fighters and Alice is his mate, so we might be better off dealing with Edward and his speed." Abby smiles because she was fast too and would be able to sense and dangerous attacks that Edward would try to use on her. The key would be keeping her mind clear until Chris could get in and use his ability to steal Edward's ability.

"Are you certain that you didn't leave any of her talent behind?" Abby asks fixing Chris with a hard glare.

"Certain although I do wish that we weren't so short-handed and could grab the seeress as well." Chris mumbles out as he bends down and roughly grabs Renesmee up by her waist.

"Save her for later, in the end we're doing all of this for Gabby and to get revenge on Big Red. You said so yourself, 'as long as Jacob and his pack are our main focus then we'll be alright'." Abby says with a shrug as she opens the door heading outside.

The two hop into a truck, a gift courtesy of their last meal, after depositing Renesmee into the truck's cab, covering up her body with tarp and begin to drive through Forks. The smell of vampire lingers in the air as it is apparent that the rest of the coven has gone off in search of Renesmee. Chris shakes his head at Abby signaling that the scents they are picking up do not belong to the vampires that are to be their primary targets. Driving on a bit further into the outskirts of town does Chris tap Abby's arm signaling for her to stop the truck. Pulling over to the side they both get out and exchange glances before Chris disappears within the cover of the forest. Abby doesn't bother to see where he is going as that would ruin their plan. Instead she yanks back the tarp to uncover her victim and their bait.

Hefting Renesmee out of the bed, Abby unceremoniously tosses the girl's body over her shoulder and catching a hint of two vampires' scents in the breeze does she take off. Her sixth sense has been meant to protect her, keep her and Gabby out of danger and instead, this time, she's using it to runs towards it.

* * *

Jacob and his pack runs throughout Port Angeles, Seattle, La Push, Makah and Forks trying to pick up Renesmee's scent. Her scent has become so engrained into his brain that the pack had no need to worry about sniffing something of Renesmee's; besides her scent was so unmistakable that if they picked up something similar it would mean that more vampires were in the area. From what he had gathered from Edward in passing is that Renesmee has been missing for over nine hours now, having left first thing that morning claiming to go shopping and taking one of Alice's cars. With the mention of the two vengeful vampires possibly being involved Jacob had to pull from tucked away memories of some of Renesmee's favorite places to go shopping and divided the packs up having everyone start from the outside and work their way in. If Edward was unable to hear Renesmee that meant that she was pretty far away, especially if the Cullens had done their own initial search and came up with nothing.

Fortunately, over the last few weeks all of the wolves have been slowly gaining more and more room to venture past the marked out territory lines. At first, Jacob started off by going to the south side of La Push and trying to walk past the line that the female vampire had drawn. There had been a sense of exhilaration, surprise, accomplishment and devilish mischief but it was only a few feet. It had then been Seth's suggestion that they remark the lines to throw the vampires off since they were using them to judge what they assumed was a safe distance. Jacob had looked at Seth in surprise when he said it and his only response back was, 'you've obviously forgotten who I'm related to'. There was a ghost of a smile on his face when he said it and Jacob could see the sadness that was poorly hidden in his eyes. Leah was sneaky like that and did enjoy making small little changes to the environment around her, just enough to where her victim wouldn't notice but since he knew her well enough would begin to feel wary.

Now with all of the imprints scattered around the area it meant that the members that hadn't tried to test the reaches of their leash could go further. In hindsight, despite their fear, obviously, keeping the imprints all in one location wasn't exactly the brightest of moves.

'_Let's just worry about finding her for now instead of where we went wrong.'_ Sam speaks up drawing Jacob out of his thoughts. Sam could see that Jacob was beginning to let his mind wander down that dark path of self-consciousness, doubt and insecurities. Jacob isn't the over-confident and cocky man that he sometimes makes himself out to be as after his failed attempt at wooing Bella had seemed to knock him down a peg and before he had time to reflect upon his 'failure' or overcome the grief he was feeling over letting someone he loved die was the moment he imprinted.

The whole pack can see where Jacob has missed out on the healing process and during patrolling or when he's sitting quietly as a wolf does his mind sometimes slip beyond Leah and instead settle on Bella. His mind and emotions reverting back to the time before imprinting made him forget. The major problem with his trip down Heartbreak Alley being that he's alone in that feeling, no one else can sympathize or even empathize with the feeling of rejection, hurt and loss – that person having now left them. Sam has tried to comfort Jacob – tried being the keyword. However, Jacob quickly turned on him with snarls and fangs not wanting to hear Sam talk to him about being hurt and rejected. 'The whole reason Leah rejected you is because _you_ rejected her first'. It stung, his words but Sam knew that he was only lashing out, trying to keep Sam at bay from seeing the underlying pain that was there. Dealing with hurt feelings isn't Sam's cup of tea or any of the other wolves; it would seem that Leah was better suited to understand pain and loss.

* * *

Edward stops as he picks up a familiar voice, it's low, dragged out and seems muffled but it's her voice, Renesmee's. He begins to turn around trying to figure out which direction the voice can be coming from as Bella stands looking at him. There's an expectant look upon her face that is laced with maternal worry and concern for their child. No matter how many times he says it or thinks about it, the surprise and pleasure behind the truth is something that still thrills him. Renesmee was their little miracle, the physical manifestation of their love and a sign that humans and vampires were not quite so different or that vastly different.

Before Bella can verbally express her frustration with Edward's lack of action or direction, his head whips back behind them, the direction from which they've already come and Paul with some of the wolves have long since passed. Turning around he runs back at top speed, with Bella trailing behind, the images of a female glaring down at him – his daughter – being the driving force behind his urgency.

Edward is grateful that Bella has managed to keep some speed from her early days of being a newborn. She's nowhere near as fast as him but at least he does not have to worry about her losing sight of him either. The trees begin to thin out the closer to the road he gets and through the break in the trees is a charcoal Ford pickup truck, an F150, parked alongside the road. Edward speeds past the truck as the sweet scent of a vampire hits his nostrils. The heavy rain has washed away most of the scent but he can still taste the blood in the air.

"Edward," Bella calls behind him. She has dropped her shield and he can hear the panic in her thoughts. She stopped long enough to look at the truck and saw the blood covered bed that had Renesmee's scent all over it. With a low snarl Edward pushes on, the world around him becoming a blur of greens, browns and greys, as he tries to catch up with the fresh scent and the woman that dared laid a hand on his daughter.

Looking out of the corner of his eye Edward catches a quick flash of blue and red – clothing. Sliding one foot out in front of him, Edward slows down his run and turns his body to face in the direction of the new blur that went by him. Pushing off he propels his body forward as his mind picks up a few stray thoughts.

_Shit, there are two of them. Maybe if I can get past the slower one I can get away._

Edward feels his panic start to grow as realization hits him that the female is planning on attacking Bella. He quietly mumbles to himself an encouragement to hopefully catch up with the female before she reaches Bella. Bella has not yet learned how to become an accomplished fighter like her sisters; she is quick to anger and lacks the ability to stay focused and in control. Her fighting skills have not even improved in her hunting as she tends to favor drinking from grazers rather than the more predatory animals that hunt within the surrounding area. And Edward not knowing how old this vampire is or her background it would be much too dangerous to let Bella tangle with her. The female had proven that she could not only outsmart and outmaneuver the wolves but had somehow managed to evade the Cullens as well.

* * *

Despite the seriousness of the situation Jasper feels some sort of excitement over the prospect of hunting down a pair of rogue, nomadic vampires. Vampires that have managed to taunt the shifters and avoid detection by both Edward and Alice. The two seem as if they would worthy adversaries to fight one-on-one in hand-to-hand combat or to even discuss pre-emptive strategies. There's a tinge of sadness or regret that the moment the two vampires are found, whether by wolves or Cullens, they will be ripped apart and their ashes cast to the wind.

Looking over to his right Jasper begins to slow down realizing that Alice is no longer beside him. Skidding to a halt he looks behind him to see Alice standing perfectly still with an all too familiar far-off look upon her face. Running back Jasper stands looking at his mate waiting for her to come back from the world of possibilities and to update him on their change of plans. Alice's visions are the only spontaneous moments that are offered up in his life since Jacob deemed his life with the Cullens reprehensible.

Coming to Alice blinks away the haze that her visions bring about and looks to Jasper with a frightened look upon her face. Her brow furrows and for once Alice is unsure what the images, sounds and feelings could all mean.

"We have to find Edward – now." Alice states and feels relief in knowing that instead of questioning her about what it is she's seen that Jasper only nods his head and pulls out his cell phone.

The fact that Alice didn't head off into any one direction tells Jasper that Edward and Bella must be searching in the woods – somewhere. In a place with no distinguishable markings or possibly that Edward hasn't being much attention to where he's been searching which is understandable because the fear a parent has for their child is an emotion that always turns his stomach.

Alice stands waiting impatiently for an answer that she knows will not come as the images begin to slowly piece themselves together.

"No answer." Jasper states more to himself than for Alice's benefit.

"We have to get to the road – find a truck." Alice explains and with a nod of his head the pair heads off towards the nearest road.

* * *

Edward feels his phone vibrating in his coat pocket but ignores choosing to focus on the bronze-hair girl before him. Venom collects in his mouth as realization that Renesmee isn't moving, on her own, as the brown-haired girl runs with her thrown over her shoulder as if she was nothing more than a sack of potatoes.

Edward eyes narrow as the girl before him looks at him, never once slowing down, and seems to assess the situation. Looking forward he can hear Bella coming but no matter how fast he runs he seems unable to catch up with the girl – he wishes he had fed earlier that morning or even within the last two days.

_If I throw the girl's body then the male will probably want to catch her before she winds up hitting something like a boulder or tree._

Edward quickly looks around trying to see if there is anything to go along with the girl's train of thought. No doubt she believes that the only reason they are being chased is because of the girl that both he and Bella would forget about her to save Renesmee. He is able to pick up that since the male seems faster that he's the one better to try and catch the girl leaving the incoming vampire to face alone.

Bella watches in wide-eyed horror as the girl coming towards her shifts a limp body to her arm and without a bat of an eye flings Renesmee over to the side. Her eyes immediately follow Renesmee's body sailing through the air and she begins to veer off course and panic sets in as she quickly realizes that she's not fast enough – she'll never reach her in time.

"EDWARD, CATCH HER!" Bella screams as she stops, her hands immediately going to cover her face and her mind shield coming up to protect her from the emotional breakdown that will inevitably come if any harm, more harm, befalls her only child.

"BELLA, LOOK OUT!" Edward screams in anger. He had planned on Bella trying to reach Renesmee to save her thus leaving him free to capture the vampire responsible for their daughter's state. For a moment Edward is torn between saving his daughter or his wife. Gritting his teeth he veers off and rushes to capture Renesmee hoping to get to her before it is too late. Edward winces as he hears a loud crash and can hear the girl's thought, _the dumb bitch just stood there and let me clothesline her?_

Years ago physical harm falling upon his sweet lamb would've sent Edward into a blind rage but Bella is no longer the helpless, clumsy girl that she once was. She didn't always need him there to protect her and today has proven that he can't be everywhere at once. There are no other thoughts, a silence, as Edward can only assume that the girl has continued running and he focuses on catching Renesmee.

Opening his arms Edward leaps up into the air, his attention focused on the proper way to soften her fall and having her back safe with him. However, the relief never comes as instead of her small, warm body coming in contact with his is there a powerful, rib crunching slam of a body that is slightly colder than his.

Edward's eyes widen in surprise as the realization hits him that he's been ambushed. Before he has a second to recover from the shock his vision go black. He can taste the dew, moss and wetness in the earth; his mouth is full of it and probably his nostrils as well. Try as he might Edward is unable to get his face out of the moist earth but then comes a searing pain. His cries are muffled into the ground as it feels as if his body is being ripped apart and for once Edward wishes that he wasn't the only one able to read minds, that someone else shared his ability so that then someone could see and hear what was going on to him – to save him, his wife and his daughter. He hears a chuckle and as he lifts his head up he sees a boot coming towards his face and then – DARKNESS.

* * *

A/N: W00T! I got 'er done. I won't lie but I've had this chapter done since Saturday at 1pm and have sat on it just waiting to get a few more reviews. I know this chapter is really fast-paced and jumps around all over but I think it works. =3 Oh, aren't Chris and Abby just the meanest of the mean? I mean THIS is how vampires are supposed to handle their business. Be cold, heartless, ruthless, meticulous and deceptively evil.


	23. Dawning Realizations

Dawning Realizations

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

There's an ache – a dull, hollow ache that seems more of an irritant than a pain. He'd like to feel some kind of relief, sense of success, freedom but instead is the dull aching and questioning stares. The pale skin that used to seem to shine and look like silk is now bruised a horrendous coloration that reminds him of rancid meat or maybe it's the combination of the state of her skin and stench that covers her. She smells of rotting flesh, dried metal, pus, sweat and antiseptic. This new smell coming from her body and being coupled with the already powerful stench of the vampires makes Jacob's stomach churn and his throat dry.

He'd threatened to kill her if she crossed over into his territory without permission, sure, but this attack upon her – Edward and Bella, as well – just seemed so much more ruthless than even his pack is capable of. Thoughts immediately tell him that it's only shock; he's shocked that his imprint is in this state and that eventually the whole ramifications of what has happened will hit him like an eighteen wheeler. Once the realization takes hold that he'll cave in on himself, guilt will consume him and his undying love, devotion and adoration will return a hundred fold. The same thought process telling him, reassuring him that her pain will become his pain.

However, there's an underlying…feeling, something more deep and meaningful to him, states the opposite. That his presence isn't forced, that he does not stick around because she is his imprint and that if he wanted to he could escape the room. That he is staying of his own free will, mainly because despite the hard feelings that he may have towards the tiny little girl laying in the bed that he has known her all her life, that the two of them have shared moments – there is a bond between them. This bond isn't all-consuming or constricting – restricting – but is something natural.

_You have a big heart._

The statement sounds out clear in his mind as if it's a memory, a long and nearly forgotten memory.

Letting out a heavy sigh Jacob shifts his weight back and forth on his feet as if testing to see if he can move freely or if he'll be rooted to this particular spot in the room. The smile that may have escaped with just another few seconds of silent reflection is wiped away as Sam's voice interrupts him.

"Jacob, are you alright?" Jacob turns and looks back at Sam. Ever since Leah's departure and Jacob's take-over, the two have been on thin ice with one another. Sam's role within the pack has been the most talked about subject matter, behind closed doors, not literally as with a pack mind there were no secrets, but never within earshot of the two once rival males. Sam was the 'unofficial' Beta of the pack despite that Embry, Quil and even Seth had worked more closely with him for a much longer time.

Jacob can hear the double meaning behind Sam's question. It is not only a question of 'how are you holding up knowing that the leeches got away' but also 'does it hurt – seeing your imprint like this'. Jacob doesn't answer Sam right away and turns his attention back to Renesmee and looks at her face or what once was her face. Her eyes are swollen shut and her cheeks that were once thin and almost sallow are puffed out making it looks like she was suffering from the mumps. Carlisle had mumbled about how bad her condition was to Esme while asking for certain items to help save their granddaughter's life. Her bones had healed up incorrectly but Carlisle had wanted to heavily sedate Renesmee and ensure that she was not suffering from any internal bleeding before attempting to re-break her bones. A courtesy, or rather a luxury, that Jacob was not afforded when his own ribs had been broken but mostly because his body just burned the morphine away.

"I'm pissed," Jacob growls out as his answer.

It was the best answer he could come up with at the moment without having to think up full and coherent sentences or even bothering to phase to share his feelings. The main point being that he wasn't in agony that his imprint, that this little girl had been hurt. It angered him that the vampires had hurt another person, regardless of her family, but there is no denying that it happened off his territory. The borders hadn't been lifted until Seth had mentioned the vampires possibly having Renesmee.

_Why?_

Jacob steps forward and narrows his eyes down at Nessie letting the question and all the possible answers play over inside his head. Why had the two vampires taken Renesmee? They couldn't have seen the connection that the two had together, could they?

_No_.

Of course not, because neither exhibited signs of being mind-readers. Otherwise they would've known that the wolves were Native Americans, that his name was Jacob and not 'Big Red' and that they were just as shocked to realize that they had an invisible leash tied around their necks.

_Information?_

If the vampires were after information about the wolves then why not approach the Cullens as a whole?

_Obvious answer._

Jacob growls already knowing the answer; he'd be wary about approaching a new pack of wolves if he was grossly outnumbered. There was no guarantee that the ones you were going to see would be friendly. The entire vampire world may have heard _of_ the Cullens but who was to say that any newborns that came along over the last six years did or didn't know them? It was better to err on the side of caution.

But if the vampires were merely interested in Renesmee and maybe wanted to ask her about the wolves…was beating her worth the effort? Did they get the information out of her?

_How much?_

And if so, how much did she tell them? Worst of all did she –

"JACOB!" Jacob winces as he hears Bella's voice screeching downstairs.

The somber silence that had fallen upon the Cullen mansion has been shattered with Bella's awakening and her re-unification. It was his group that happened upon the massacre of Bella and Edward Cullen while Alice and Jasper stood waiting for a vision to appear that would help pinpoint the exact location. Jacob had then taken off, scattering his meager party out in hopes of finding some sign and find some signs they did.

Bella and Edward both had been quartered and then decapitated. It was sickening to see their dislocated limbs moving, writhing, wriggling and crawling along the forest floor trying to reassemble back into one whole being, one entity. Edward's fingers were crawling, carrying his hand as if it was 'Thing' of the Addams Family. Bella's leg that still had a foot attached was using a combination of the tip of her shoe and heel of her foot to shuffle along as well. The whole scene looked like something out of some sick B horror movie that is just too sick and graphic for the mainstream but could possibly become a cult classic.

The Quileutes knew only how to destroy vampires not put them back together and the limbs only seemed to become more…panicky when a wolf approached. The whole ordeal making the scene quite possibly look comical to an outsider as a few wolves would cautiously approach some strange and new object but quickly jump back when the thing made a sudden move. Fortunately, Seth had run off and gathered Jasper and Alice who after a moment's hesitation of shock, surprise and, oddly enough, horror, set to work in gathering up the pieces of their family.

Letting out a sigh, Jacob turns and walks out the door followed by Sam, Embry and Paul to either see what Bella is upset about, which in her defense could be quite a bit, or help even out the odds in the unavoidable confrontation that was going to happen.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs, her foot tapping impatiently Bella bites back a growl hearing Jacob's sigh coming from the medical room where Nessie is – _her_ Nessie. She can taste the venom pooling in her mouth wondering why Jacob, or the rest of his mutts, felt that they had _any_ right to be in the same room as Renesmee while she was healing. It was Jacob's fault that Renesmee had been attacked in the first place. If he had been doing his job as an imprinted wolf, doting, consoling and catering to her every whim, interest and likes then _none_ of this would've occurred. Renesmee would've been safe and sound. The three vampires, not _two_ because if Jacob had been following orders, then the vampires would _not_ be on a bloody rampage across the Olympic Peninsula and would've moved on to find suitable feeding grounds elsewhere.

Bella waits as Jacob walks down the stairs followed by the few members of his pack that for some reason Carlisle felt, what? The need? Obligated? Or some sense of politeness to allow them inside? Bella steps back, wanting to put some distance in between her and the huge stinking, smelly brutes before her. Her eyes quickly appraise them all; all only wearing worn old shorts, their naked torsos out for the world to see. Each carrying a certain muscle tone of their own showing where a particular area of strength is favored over another; such as arms, shoulders, neck or chest. Her nose crinkles in disgust noticing the dirt on their skin, under their fingernails and even on their bare legs.

_Filthy, overgrown, mangy men._

That's what they looked like to her and it only seemed to reassure her that she made the right decision in picking Edward Cullen over Jacob; although there was never really a choice to be made. Quickly throwing a side glance towards the mirror on the wall next to the stairs, Bella can't help but notice how beautiful, young and clean she looks. Her pale skin still glows, is flawless and white showing a distinct contrast between hers and Jacob's.

"What is it, Bella?" Jacob asks with an exasperated sigh snapping Bella out of her personal thoughts. His lack of patience with her is evident as he crosses his arms and his head rolls to the side.

"What do you _think_ you're doing?" Bella demands narrowing her eyes and fighting the urge to spit – spit venom in Jacob's huge, hard and dirty face. Jacob only raises an eyebrow showing his confusion at Bella's questioning.

It seemed obvious to him that he was checking up on the one member of the Cullen family that was in the worst shape – Renesmee Carlie Cullen. There was no need for him to check up on her because according to the legends and Carlisle, a very good source, that Edward and Bella, both, would put themselves back together and be back to normal – although a bit irritable. So maybe this attitude shouldn't surprise him?

"You have no right to check up on Renesmee." Bella states with a low growl.

Bella's growl elicits a few growls from the other wolves standing around their Alpha. Jacob knows that Bella's words should elicit some form of emotion in him; an emotion that is more along the lines of hurt, disappointment, guilt and shame. Instead, he feels irritated that she can't even bother to thank him and his pack for helping in the search, for finding her and her husband's scattered and struggling remains out in the forest while Alice and Jasper simply stood awaiting a vision.

"Fine," Jacob states simply, his eyes growing dark with subdued anger.

Bella's eyes widen in surprise as Jacob simply sidesteps her and begins heading towards the door. Despite her anger, Bella expected that her Jacob had finally returned to her. That he was back to being Nessie's adoring wolf and was going to offer up his apologies for hurting her – both of them; for his callous abandonment of his best friend and imprint in their darkest hour of need. Instead, he was walking away as if what she thought and felt didn't matter.

"And where do you think you're going?" Bella hisses at the wolves' retreating figures.

Pausing Jacob turns around slightly surprised by Bella's question. One minute he had no right checking up on Renesmee and the next she's asking him why he's leaving. Confusion takes over his features and he's at a loss of what to do, say or how to respond to Bella.

"What do _you_ want me to do, Bella?" Jacob snaps. "What? One minute you love me, the next you hate me. You don't want me around Nessie then you do and you don't again."

"I want you to apologize."

"Apologize?" Jacob asks, his eyes widening and brow scrunching in confusion. "Apologize for what?"

"You let this happen." Bella states pointing an accusing finger at Jacob.

"Me? Me? How the hell do you figure that? I wasn't there,"

"But you should've been, Jacob. That's the point! You should've been with her and they wouldn't have taken her."

"Bullshit. Two vamps against a wolf aren't my kind of odds." Jacob says shaking his head.

"She's your imprint. Your whole world! You are meant to live, die and kill for her. Nothing else should be more important. But instead you're sitting over there crying over Leah Clearwater." The spectator silence that had previously occupied the living room is broken with a series of growls from the surrounding wolves.

"At what cost, Bella?" Jacob snarls fighting to remain in control. "Those _vampires_ murdered a family with children. And because _I_ had my head up you all's asses is the reason why the vampires haven't been caught sooner. We were all _too_ focused on our imprints to pay attention to the world around us. There's more to life than just 'her' and 'you'."

Bella's eyes widen at Jacob's words.

"You've always been like this, haven't you?" Jacob asks looking Bella up and down, a look of disgust on his face. "Blind to the world around you; so full of yourself that you didn't either give a flying fuck about those around you or warped the world to make it seem as if you were _always_ the hapless victim.

All you ever cared about was Edward and your leeches. Even when I got hurt fighting to protect you,"

"You got hurt because of Leah – not me." Bella interrupts quickly shaking her head. "Did she ever thank you?"

"Did you? All you said was 'sorry' and 'I love you but Edward more'. I chose to save Leah because," Jacob stops talking as his heart clenches and his wolf howls. "I refused to stand by and let her get hurt. She needed help and I gave it. She never asked and never had to. I did it because it was right and _not_ because I could get something from her later.

Leah never used me. You've done nothing but use me _and_ Edward to get whatever you wanted."

"I – I don't know what you're talking about," Bella says weakly, her eyes widening as she unconsciously takes a step back.

"Please, you asked me about the Cullens and like an idiot I told you. You even used me so you could stay here and wait for Edward." Bella's eyes widen in surprise. "Charlie was going to send you Florida to live with Renee but it was where Edward could never get to you because of the sun and there was the chance that your mom would move again. That'd make it hard for Edward to find you, right?"

Jacob's body begins to shake violently as it seems as if the blinders around his eyes and heart have suddenly been removed. Everything Bella did to him that seemed simply as a misunderstanding or mistake now seen as Bella's manipulation – intentional and/or unintentional.

"I wanted to let you got and get on with my life but you still kept pulling me back in." I was your idiot, fighter and savior. All I wanted was your affection but it always had to be on your standards – terms."

Bella stands stunned at Jacob's accusations and realizations.

"And besides why can't _you_ ever do anything? What happened to you? Why didn't you try and help Nessie yourself?"

At the question Bella freezes, her eyes widening as her mind begins to replay what happened. The female vampire running towards her with Nessie on her back and then throwing Nessie – the vampire _threw_ her daughter. She had let that – that monster throw her daughter. She had been useless despite possessing the strength, agility, speed and grace of a vampire she was still unable to fight and protect her daughter – her own flesh and blood.

"We're not your fuckin' dogs – at least not anymore." Jacob states continuing on, shaking his head and making a promise to both the Cullens and his pack. "_Our_ tribe and along with the rest of Forks and Makah comes first. We're no longer protecting the Cold Ones."

Looking up Bella's nostrils flares, her anger building, listening to Jacob's self-righteous speech about what he and his dogs will and won't do for them. She was a vampire _and_ a Cullen. The Cullens didn't _need_ the Quileutes and she didn't like Jacob implying that they were helpless without him.

"We never asked you for your protection _or_ your help. You willingly offered it." Bella snarls.

"Only because I was looking out for you."

"I never _asked_ you to look out for me. I didn't _need_ you, Jacob." Bella hisses venomously. Deep down inside she knows it's a lie. Jacob was warm, kind, caring, joking and didn't treat her like a doll or a toy. Once upon a time she had needed him but once she became a vampire she no longer needed him or anyone else for that matter but Edward and Renesmee. It was _him_ that attached himself to her family, continued on playing the role of the good guard dog for them and now he was trying to hold them responsible for his imprinting.

"Of course, because all you ever needed was Edward."

"That's right. Even after all this time you haven't wrapped your mind around it. It's Edward – it's always been Edward. Always has been and I told you that. I tried to tell you that you were like a little brother to me but that wasn't good enough for you. Your problem is that you always want what you can't and shouldn't have which is why you've gone from me to Nessie and now Leah. You only want Leah because now she's gone – she left you – _all_ of you. You're nothing more than a pack of overgrown, selfish and needy puppies looking for someone to love you, hold you and cater to you. Suddenly your imprints aren't enough? Miss your _Lee-Lee_ and beta?" Bella sneers but it turns into a snarl as Sam takes a step forward but is stopped by Jacob.

"Shut up, you stinkin' bloodsucker." Sam snarls.

"You are in _my_ house and you are the stinkin',"

"I'd watch what I say next if I were you." Paul warns, his body shaking violently. "You talk a good game when Jacob and Edward are around to protect you but _if_ you haven't noticed Jacob isn't your bitch anymore and Edward is still trying to pull himself together. You're alone leech and after your stellar performance out there I don't think you'd put up much of a fight."

"You?" Bella shrieks and launches herself at Paul.

Pain rips through her chest and back causing her to gasp. Opening her eyes she sees Jacob standing between her and his wolves, snarling and growling at them.

"You idiot! We're on _their_ territory and outnumbered." Jacob scolds as Paul shakes out his fur.

She is hit with a blow that causes her chest to tighten. Jacob wasn't yelling at Paul for almost hurting her but because it wasn't strategically smart. He really _didn't_ care that Paul would've ripped her apart.

"Bella?" Looking up the emotional pain subsides as Bella looks over to see Edward standing in the room.

"Edward," Bella calls out quickly running over to her husband and hugging him tightly. "You're awake." She inhales deeply his sweet scent ignoring the smell of dog on him.

Edward looks around confused and in a daze. He'd awaken to the sound of Bella and Jacob arguing in the background as the rest of his family asked how he was feeling. This being the first time Edward had ever been torn apart but having gathered from friends and acquaintances that it was a very traumatic and disorienting sensation.

However, not only was Edward disoriented but he couldn't hear anyone's thoughts. Not Carlisle's or even the wolves who should've been too riled up to control their thoughts.

It hadn't been easy convincing his family to not run to break up the building fight between the two friends. It seemed to a confrontation waiting to happen for many years now as at one point or another, the other was too weak or unable to be truthful and honest about their thoughts and feelings for the other. Jaspers was struggling to keep their emotions in check to ensure that neither escalated to the point of violence but the wolves fluctuating emotions were giving Jasper some troubles which is where the fear has risen. Where Jasper failed Edward always succeeded.

"Bella, drop your shield, please." Edward orders looking at the wolves before him.

The expression on Sam was clearly visible – disgust but Paul, Jacob and Embry were hard to read. The latter two were obviously use to hiding their thoughts from Edward and Paul was still in his wolf form.

"Edward…I – I don't have my shield up." Bella states as she looks up at her husband with a frown of concern.

"What?" Edward asks looking down at Bella in surprise. There's doubt in his eyes as the look at one another and all present can smell the fear starting to build up inside of Edward.

"What's the matter, Edward?" Carlisle asks carefully stepping towards his son. Carlisle isn't quite sure how to treat a vampire just awakened from a near-death experience. It wasn't often that vampires were simply ripped apart and it's obvious that the two nomads did not mean to kill the couple but they weren't trying to escape either.

According to Collin, it seemed as if the male vampire had been lying in wait as the female carried Nessie. All agreed with Jasper when he simply stated 'it was a trap'. If Nessie was the bait then what was the pair after? Did their revenge no longer just involve the wolves? And how did they know about Nessie? Outside of Bella, everyone saw Jacob's rejection of his imprint on Renesmee as a blessing in disguise. They did not have to worry about their Nessie getting involved in a very dangerous situation. Jacob was inadvertently protecting her still without consciously acknowledging the fact.

"Bella, I _need_ you to drop your shield. Maybe in your highly agitated state you've enveloped everyone in it." Edward suggests quickly, his voice teetering on hysterical as everyone around him exchange careful and anxious glances.

"O…okay, Edward, I will." Bella says nodding her head slowly and wanting nothing more to calm and placate her husband. Besides, his panic was starting to frighten her and if Edward wasn't in control of the situation or seemed lost then she knew that she'd be far much worse off.

Taking a deep calming breathe Bella furrows her brow and tries to either expand or shrink her shield.

Nothing.

Letting out a mixed sigh and growl of frustration Bella tries again.

Again, nothing.

Her hands clenching into tight fists as her face scrunches up into a look of intense concentration, her eyes squinting and mouth pulling down into a small, red frown.

"She's getting frustrated." Jasper states with a deep frown, his eyes narrowing at Bella mirroring her own emotions.

"Bella, can you not use your shield?" Esme asks cautiously looking between her son and daughter.

"They've lost their powers." Alice states coming out of a vision that no one else had noticed that she slipped into.

* * *

A/N: Alright so sorry for the long hiatus but it's taken me a while to get this chapter to a point where I was satisfied. To be honest, this is what I originally planned but what I would've liked was Jacob knocking the taste out of Bella's mouth but for some reason my logical mind wouldn't have let that occur especially not with Jasper so close by. *sighs* And I couldn't simply write Jasper out because that's not what Jasper would I - at least I think.

But this is my 2nd A/N and I'm going to keep it brief in fear that my laptop will freeze up on me but it was basically me mooning over the Jacob and Seth look-alikes at my gym and waiting for the rest of the WILFs to show up and then leading into a rant about Nessie lovers and how real villians don't just walk away from a fight or let people who annoy them and why it was necessary for Nessie, Bella and Edward to get their butt whooped...and I think something about truth only being achieved through suffering and loss...and I think I mentioned Eric and Pam from True Blood because those are some AWESOME vampires simply because they are so badass and don't give a damn about someone's feelings. So to that person sorry that this isn't the Mary Sue you were hoping for where everyone gets along, the villians turn out to be misunderstood and there's a rainbow with a magical, wish-granting Pegasus pony at the end that ends world hunger, cures cancer (although that would be uber awesome), fixes the economy and suddenly the world is filled with so much wisdom, joy, love and brotherly love that we all contract diabetes, melt down our guns, destroy all movies, books and media that is deemed offensive *coughs*book burnings *coughs* and everyone whose ever been mean to us comes up and apologizes because they didn't mean it - they were simply the by-product of their environment and that now they've been mysteriously filled with the overwhelming sense of...warmth that they just have to apologize - insincerely, of course, because they really didn't learn anything and thereby feel no real sense of regret. So if you're expecting this to be the typical SM story where wolves bow to their superior masters, the vampires, and hold hands singing Kumbaiwa then I regretfully must inform you that this story is not for you but I do appreciate you taking time to read the story thus far as you will only be continually disappointed every step along this journey. =3 So enjoy your summer and maybe you'll be more comfortable with a simple Blackwater one-shot where no pop-shots are made at anyone.

OH! Before I go guess who got a nomination for Best Family story...ME! *squeals* For The Rules of Love and Last. -_-; I forgot the details but if you know Don'tCallMeLeeLee (sorry if I got that character placement wrong) ask her or just wait and I'll get some details to include in my next update. A vote for this story is a vote for another Wake-up Call update. YAY! ALRIGHT! YAY! Did anyone buy that? *shakes head slowly* No...oh, ai'right. LOL. But I hope to get back into the swing of things but my laptop has not been reliable and it's taken me all morning since 7am - it's now 1:38pm - to get this typed up, uploaded and add the A/N. It keeps locking up. But be kind and review.


	24. Plans In Motion

Plans in Motion

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

It's the afternoon rush and Leah takes down the orders, going over them with each of the patrons with a bright smile on her face. It's getting easier and easier becoming a waitress as everyone is nice to her, if you ignore the looks of disdain from the local girls. No doubt there's an underlying hint of jealousy as before Leah had arrived John had stated that they weren't hiring anyone at the store and then suddenly she showed up and had a job. So Leah doesn't blame them because she'd be a little pissed to if some girl was muscling in on her crush – that's just experience and emotions talking. But if things go well then the girls soon won't have anything to worry about.

"Order for table no. 6 is up." John calls dropping the plate on the counter. Leah smiles and gives him a quick 'thank you' and drops off the latest order.

John watches Leah as she drops off the food, his eyes darkening for a moment as the boys at the table immediately begin to flirt with her and he grips his spatula tightly. Over the last few weeks John's relationship with Leah has been slowly growing. They weren't fortunate to have another 'date night' as Ted and the others have become a near permanent fixture at his home.

Shaking his head of the jealous and possessive thoughts John picks up the ticket and quickly reads over the order. His eyes narrow for a moment before growling in frustration and calls Leah over. He bites the inside of his cheek as Leah walks over to him with an overly innocent look upon her face – _she's guilty_.

"My order up?" Leah asks and John motions for her to come and join him in the kitchen. "What's up?" Leah asks with a smile once she joins him.

"What is this?" John asks waving the ticket in front of Leah's face.

"The order is for table nine." Leah states never letting her smile fall. She loves toying with him like this, playing innocent and trying to pull a fast one on him. It's a challenge that John can never find the heart to call her out on right away, he just plays along just to see that smile remain on her face but now…now she's messing with his menu – his life's work.

"This is an order for pancakes." John says with a frown, growling as he looks at the clock.

"That's right." Leah says with a quick nod, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"What time is breakfast over?" John asks glaring at Leah.

"Ten thirty." Leah answers biting down on her bottom lip.

"And what time is it now?" John asks crossing his arms.

"Twelve thirty." Leah answers. The two stand looking at one another for a minute until John finally breaks.

"Damnit, Leah, why would you let a customer order breakfast after hours?" John asks exasperated.

"I'm sorry," Leah apologizes quickly. "He's just really cute and I couldn't say 'no' and…he said I was 'beautiful'." John's nostrils flare as Leah breaks out into a blush and he stomps past Leah, heading out into the dining area. Anger building in him over this male that would dare flirt with his female, compliment her and somehow sweet talk her into going against her Alpha's rules.

"Basta," John begins but stoops short as he freezes and looks at the man at table nine. His large frame sitting at the booth with a newspaper in his hands, his long hair tied up in a braided ponytail that has since turned silver. Leah giggles behind him drawing the man's attention and John's eyes lock with his grandfather.

"John," Joseph greets with his warm smile.

"Grandpa," John greets back before turning around and heading back into the kitchen with a grinning Leah behind him.

"How could I say 'no' to that?" Leah asks before laughing outright at John.

"You are a sneaky, conniving little," John begins growling out but stops as Leah's smile falls, her eyes widening slightly waiting for him to finish his sentence. He can see that she's expecting him to say something harsh, a word that had become synonymous as a pet name for her 'bitch'. "Lily." John sighs, giving Leah a small smile. "Come here," John says wrapping his arms around Leah's waist and pulling her closer. "You are beautiful." John breathes out earning a blush from his lil' Leah – his Lily.

"So…you're not mad at me anymore?" Leah asks as John brings her even closer.

"No, not mad anymore but that doesn't mean I won't get you back later." John states with a playful smirk.

"Am I going to be punished?" Leah whispers softly with a small mischievous smile on her face.

"Eventually," John says gruffly liking the idea as he pulls Leah roughly to him and kisses her. Their lips mash together roughly. For a moment Leah's eyes are wide in surprise but she soon relaxes into the kiss. A growl rumbles from John's throat as Leah's hands grip his shirt, pulling him closer, her back shivering before she pulls away gasping for air.

John chuckles lightly as he can hear and feel Leah's heart beating – racing. There's a smug pleasure in knowing that he brought about this reaction. It is short-lived as the real world comes back in the form of calling customers, burning food and the approaching voices of his father and brother. Leah turns and walks away quickly before John can say anything to her. With a frown he moves quickly to save his customers' lunches.

George and Paul both freeze once they're inside the kitchen, instincts telling them that something has happened. The two exchange looks as John curses under his breath, quickly throwing away the burnt chicken and replacing it before running to the fridge for his pancake mix. John gives them a curt 'hey' as Leah asks for her orders.

"So…burnt some food, huh?" Paul asks with a knowing smirk. John never burnt anything because he always paid close attention to whatever task was at hand meaning that he had something else 'at hand'. John only growls at him as George begins washing his hands.

"We walked in on the tail end of something." George states with a smirk. John only huffs as he glares hearing some of the customers complaining about their missing meals.

"So you kissed her – again." Paul states with a huge grin on his face as he slaps John on the back congratulatory.

"Again?" George exclaims. "I never know anything that my kids are doing anymore." He grumbles with a small pout as Paul laughs.

John focuses on his task at hand, ignoring the teasing and questioning at the hands of his father and brother and only paying enough attention to Leah to get the orders. There is something about Leah's sudden departure after the kiss that doesn't sit right with him.

* * *

Leah finishes up her shift with a sigh of relief. It hadn't taken long for George and John to clean up the slight bit of chaos that ensured in those few moments between her and John. Something happened during this kiss that left her feeling…off. The moment John growled into their kiss, she was bombarded with thoughts of Jacob with some sort of forgotten memories or more likely fantasies involving Jacob.

The images have now only solidified Leah's need to find her 'self', to continue her journey and find her freedom. John and the boys are great but she can't see herself staying here, making a life here or with John if she was still harboring some feelings for her former Almighty Alpha. That was not being fair to her and especially not to John.

"What's on your mind?" John asks looking down at Leah as they walk home. She's been quiet and it's very unusual behavior for her. Leah's brow furrows her lips puckering over the question because there is so much but where to begin. "I'm not mad at you about what happened at lunch." John states quickly wanting to dissipate any qualms Leah had about her teasing having gone too far.

"I know," Leah says with a brief smile. "I want to do a spirit quest." Leah blurts out. She's wanted to do one since her epiphany but if there's anything Leah has learned over her time amongst wolves is that they were all very protective of her whether she wanted it or not. It started with Sam then Jacob and now John seemed to be no exception. It was obviously just some sort of male ego thing although Sam did harbor feelings for her before she became a wolf and John now.

Leah has figured that John would be hesitant of her taking such an undertaking. Ted having briefly explained the process and taking a hallucinogen is not her bag of tea but was a requirement. Jacob freaked over Leah drinking so who knew how John would feel about getting her stoned. Leah looks up at John expectantly as he stands looking down at her with a deep frown.

"A – a what?" John asks.

"That's right a spirit quest." Leah repeats. "You all did one but I never did." Leah says with a small smile as she places a hand over her chest and closes her eyes.

He studies her for a moment, processing her request and when their eyes meet, he can see the determination, conviction and desire to pursue this new adventure. A part of him is honored that Leah wishes to participate in his tribe's culture and heritage. The completion of the quest would succeed in sealing her place within his tribe permanently and yet he fears the end result of Leah's decision. Deep down he already knows that she will leave – her spirit desires it more than the human wants to stay.

"Are you sure about this, Lily?" John asks smiling down at Leah. She quickly nods her head showing her conviction. "Well…alright. If that's what you want then I'll see what I can do." John says wrapping an arm around Leah and walking her home.

* * *

"Have you even asked about the spirit quest?" Ted growls out as he walks in to find Leah doing her homework. It's been two weeks since Leah mentioned to Ted that she was going to ask John about the quest. He can't help but feel annoyed that Leah hasn't made any leeway.

"I did but..," Leah begins but trails off in thought.

"But what?" Ted asks sitting down next to her and begins playing with her calculator.

"He – he's been so busy with the pack, school, the diner," Leah states with a low sigh as Ted gives her a bored look.

"And you mean to sit here and tell me you bought that?" Ted asks incredulous. Ted didn't doubt that John would find a way to prevent Leah from having her quest but outright stalling and lying to her wasn't foreseen. Maybe John was smarter about avoiding Leah's anger then he thought.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leah snarls angrily expressing her dislike for Ted's tone.

"Just that…I thought you were smarter than that." Ted states going back to the calculator to avoid looking at Leah's glare. Since the talk at the phone store the two wolves have had a couple more arguments and as much as Ted cares about Leah he couldn't deny that she was a bitch when pissed. The girl could melt plastic with her hateful glare but the anger kept her honest and realistic.

"So you're implying what exactly?" Leah growls out slamming her book shut.

"That you're being a," Ted states and holds up Leah's calculator for her to see '8008'.

"A boob?" Leah exclaims.

"You're not alone because John is being an even bigger one." Ted states with a shrug.

"He also wants me to finish up the quarter." Leah says defending her Mighty Mountain Alpha. "I do too." She mumbles out a bit more weakly.

"Yea, sure you do but until you do this quest you're going to find yourself still warring with yourself." Ted states tossing the calculator back on the table. "Look Leah," Ted states getting up and heading towards the odor. "John, he – he really cares about you – a lot. Don't let his 'issues' hold you up. I'm working on mine…slowly but surely and you've help but…,"

"John can't be my everything." Leah finishes up as Ted turns and looks back at her.

"I've been thinking about what we talked about. I'm being unfair to you and I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you away."

"But you are." Leah counters matter-of-factly.

"True, but…seriously, on a deeper level I feel that there's so much more out there for you. This quest won't fix everything overnight but it should put you on the right path to finding balance."

"So…what are you saying?" Leah asks with a pout. Ted's moods always give her whiplash because sometimes he was understanding, funny and just great to be around while the rest he was just a prick – like now.

"Just ask George. Look if you're meant to stay here then so be it. You can stay, fuck John for all I care and have litter after litter of super wolves. But you should know by now that Alphas always have some ulterior motives when you're involved and letting you go isn't part of the plan." Ted says before disappearing out the door. With a sigh Leah nods her head resigning to follow Ted's advice because Alphas did have a tendency to want to keep their pack mates around and, to be honest, she hadn't left home to just sign on with another Alpha.

"What did you just do?" Ted freezes as a deep, gruff and angry voice greets him in the woods. Turning around he can't help the whimper that follows as John stomps towards him. The Alpha's muscles tense, his hands in giant fists, eyes dark with rage and his teeth bared in a silent snarl.

"Answer me." John snaps at Ted's silence.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just all calm down." Gio says coming into the small clearing and putting himself in between the two.

"This doesn't involve you Gio." John snarls never taking his eyes off of the smaller wolf.

"That may be but I think it's best if I stay to moderate." Gio says. The two had been patrolling and Gio had decided to stop by John's place to grab a bite to eat and check up on Leah. He hadn't meant to overhear Leah and Ted's conversation but he did and John heard it too.

Gio had then been quickly consumed with John's anger, outrage and feelings of betrayal towards Ted followed by his worries, fears and love for Leah all at once. It became clear to Gio all at once that Leah wanted to have a spirit quest but John feared that she'd leave and John would do anything to keep her.

"You fuckin' bastard," John snarls at Ted. "Where do you get off telling her - ?"

"Telling her what?" Ted snaps feeling emboldened with Gio in between them and Leah a blood curdling man-scream away. "Huh? That she has options? Can get in touch with her wolf? Or maybe, that you're being a selfish prick by trying to keep her for yourself?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." John growls stepping forward but is easily stopped by Gio.

"I do but I'm the only one willing to say it."

"You ungrateful bastard," John lunges for Ted again.

"I'm not, John. Leah didn't come here to be yours. We both know that. You're 'fighting' to keep her."

"That's because she's worth fighting for." John snaps his body trembling violently. "No one has fought for her but I am."

"You – you don't know what the others did." Ted states trying to make his Alpha see. There were others that cared for Leah, were willing to fight for her if they were just given the opportunity.

"Alright, I get it!" Gio bellows shoving John and startling both males. "Look John…I'm sorry, man, but Ted's right. You shouldn't be trying to keep Leah away from doing this. It's her choice – not yours." Gio says sadly shaking his head. "And you," Gio says turning on Ted. "Need to get your shit together. Quit being an instigator and going behind everyone's back starting shit. We're a pack – brothers, a family. We can all talk about share things. You should've told John first to his face what you knew he was doing. Not go and tell Leah." Ted looks down with a low growl. "You know how John feels about her and yet you went and told Leah that John was basically a lying, manipulating and controlling bastard – when really he's not. You and I both know that and Leah can be a very tough judge on character."

"I get it." Ted snaps. "I over – overstepped my bounds."

"And?" Gio drawls out looking back at John.

"I did too with both Leah and you, Ted. Sorry." John sighs out his apology as Ted does the same. Gio nods his head proudly at his two brothers.

"Good. Now you," Gio says turning to John. "Need to have a talk with Leah." Nodding his head John heads towards the house leaving Ted and Gio behind. "As for you, you gotta learn a few things about timing and tact. Next time I might not be around to save your scrawny ass."

"I don't need you saving me." Ted snarls craning his head up to look at the larger man.

"Yea but whether you like it or not we're family, man from John our super serious, no nonsense Alpha to you our meddling little brother. Leah is too whether officially or unofficially, she's our sister and we all want what's best for her." Ted opens his mouth to argue but closes it as Gio growls at him. "I'm not saying that John is what's best for her. Only Leah can make that decision. She left La Push on her own and if she so chooses to, she can leave us the same. In the meantime, just quit pushing her away. It won't kill you to love her too." Ted's shoulders slump in defeat knowing that Gio is right. It was Leah's decision – not his and he was afraid of caring for her only to have her leave like all of the other women in his life. It was just so much easier to keep everyone at arm's length because when the day finally did come it wouldn't hurt as much, if at all.

"Come on, you need a good run." Gio says patting Ted on the shoulder.

* * *

George sits listening to Leah's request to have a spirit quest. He can't help the frown on his face as Leah is making the request on her own – without John. He listens to her talk about why she left home and he's reminded that Leah came to them while just in the beginning of her journey and that there was still so much for her to learn about herself, her wolf and destiny. George wasn't going to claim to have all of the answers but he could understand her desire to have them.

"Okay," George says nodding his head once Leah is finished. "You have my support and I doubt anyone on the Council will disagree." Leah's eyes light up at George's consent. "But we will have to talk to Sue and your Elders, first." Leah's smile falls.

"Why?"

"Well to ensure that this doesn't go against your own culture and heritage which I seriously doubt it will." He tags on quickly. "But by doing this you will become a daughter of the Inuks." George says smiling warmly at Leah. Leah's eyes widen in realization. "Don't worry, we won't ask you to denounce your Quileute heritage any more than your mother was asked to."

Leah nods her head in relief as George begins to go into details the process. Eventually the conversation turns to John and Leah's request. There's a small frown of disappointment from both parties. George would like to apologize for his son's behavior but knows that it can only come from him to mean anything. Sometimes love makes us do foolish things and George knows the whole world is full of fools in love.

* * *

A male and female vampire stands before Aro, Caius and Marcus. They listen intently to the two and a scandalous smirk crosses Aro's lips as he nods at them and then Jane. Jane steps forward, the smug smirk that she's carried for centuries whenever Aro has requested the use of her talent is replaced with a serious and calculating frown. She glares at the two vampires for a few seconds before turning to face her masters and shakes her head 'no'.

"Well it would seem," Aro begins excitedly clapping his hands together. "That we have received a very advantageous gift against our enemies, the Cullens and their –"

"So what do we intend to do?" Caius asks.

"What else but destroy the Cullens for the insolence." Marcus states with an air of boredom.

* * *

Alice comes out of her vision with a gasp and cry of fear. "They've gone to the Volturri." Alice states in a slight panic. "They'll be coming to kill us." All eyes in the room widen in shock, surprise and horror.

* * *

There have been many changes over the last year from Leah's plans to leave, her final departure, the vampire attacks, dealing with the newly formed pack, their feelings of being incomplete without Leah, the sudden changes in their imprints that brings with it challenging questions and now the inevitable return of the Volturri.

There was no doubt that the Volturri along with the two rogue vampires would kill not just the Cullens and the wolves but the imprints and the whole tribe. It was too big of a risk to the vampires to allow any of the Quileutes to survive. The world was slowly falling apart and in order to sustain it they needed answers and needed them now.

Billy sits looking at Sue and Old Quil, each with a frown on their faces awaiting his response. Nadie, John's grandmother and Elder of the Inuks, had called stating – not requesting – that Leah was going to participate in their spirit quest. Leah was going to have a talk with her spirit and wolf and learn more about herself and her purpose, path in life.

It was unnecessary but Sue gave her consent to let Leah participate and immediately came to tell Billy and Old Quil that their wolves needed to do the same thing. At the time, Sam had successfully accepted his wolf, so it seemed, that the 'Path of a Warrior' wasn't deemed necessary and there didn't seem to be time.

_Maybe they should've made time?_

A spirit journey seemed to be the next thing as Nadie had explained to Sue that the warriors were comprised of a trinity: man/woman, spirit and wolf. The man and wolf being the more dominate entities as they both possessed a physical body. It is the spirit that brings about a balance between the two. Man cannot win out over the wolf any more than the wolf can win out over the man. The two had to work together – communicate and that was through the spirit.

They boys were in chaos – always had been. They had thought that was the purpose of the imprint, to keep them grounded, the wolf in check but where they wrong?

"Billy?" Sue calls softly.

"They'll do it." Billy says slowly nodding his head.

If the Quileutes hope to survive another thousand years they'll need their spirit warriors to be ready and at peace with each other and themselves. The Cullens couldn't be counted on to protect this time.

* * *

A/N: I DID IT! I finished handwriting this last night and then it took me continually saving at each paragraph, spell check and pause but I did it. Also letting my computer go to sleep when that fan started to kick in really helped too but I finally did it. So I'm not going to push my luck and just and keep this A/N short.

But you all know what to do and I'd like to apologize if I offended anyone in my last update. You know sometimes girls just get into that kind of mood where we type and say anything and everything. I do still stand by my statement that this isn't going to be the SM happy ending where everyone is safe, happy and sits around in the white living room joking about the horrors of actually having a beating heart while doting over a child. There's more to life than just that and I aim to paint a picture of how things really work in the world. Ted really bugged me because I had this conversation with a friend who is just giving me a headache by saying one thing and then the same thing but in another way.

But my fave part of the chapter is Alice's vision of Chris and Abby going to the Volturri. YAY! Now the Volturri have a second chance to come back and be the kick-ass vampires that 'they and SM' claimed to be. I mean what the hell, SM? What the hell? What all powerful monarchy shows up and then just lets a small band of rebel-risers get off with a simple wave of the hand and a 'good day to you sir' (in a thick, bad British accent). Who? I mean if it was that easy then how do you explain what's going on in Northern Africa? I know those people wish Gaddafi was acting like the Volturri and said, 'Oh! You're not happy with the way I run things…oh…well, I'll just leave you all to your own devices but if you need any help, please, don't be afraid to ask.' Then the Ewoks will start singing, dancing and playing in the background. Because that's _really_ how the real world works. Thanks SM! Thanks a lot!

O_o? Ah, damnit…I did it again. *bangs head on desk* The point is as you can see I really don't like the ending of Breaking Dawn and no matter what it'll just have an ending that just always puts me in a bad mood. But you all read, enjoy and review. I'm going to sit up and enjoy the rest of my day with Pride and Prejudice. Oh Mr. Darcy how you love Elizabeth so! Hehehe.


	25. The Hand that Feeds

The Hand That Feeds

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

Alice sits frowning trying to piece together a series of images involving the Volturri and their guards. Everything is broken up, piece-meal and she can't seem to form into one cohesive vision. Minds are being changed too rapidly, the wolves are either directly involved or being discussed and her head is pounding. She only stops looking to go feed, to keep up her energy, long enough to try and learn more. The entire coven is depending on her even more now that Edward and Bella both have lost some of the most crucial talents that have managed to keep the family sustained for so long. The realization of this Chris and Abby's talents leaves Alice feeling a bit paranoid as well. As there is no doubt that the Volturri or the two rogue vampires may be back for her talent as well.

Edward sits at his piano watching his family continue on with their lives as if there is no impending danger. Rosalie sits on the couch, attempting to keep her mind occupied and off the current state of her daughter. Her leg bouncing anxiously in an act that seems more human than anything he's ever seen anyone within his family do. Emmett sits beside her, his arm draped carelessly over the back of the couch as the television remote sits in his palm and a blank expression upon his face. Carlisle and Esme have both been keeping busy, flitting from Renesmee's room to Alice to Rosalie and to Bella.

The silence is a welcomed break from the usual cacophony of noises that permanently invaded Edward's mind from the moment he woke up a vampire. However, Edward cannot help but frown at everyone around him, their expressions leaving him filled with a sense of confusion. He wants to know what they are all thinking. Are they worried about the Volturri coming? Do they believe that Jacob and the rest of the wolves will not stand beside them against this threat again? Do they hold him and Bella responsible for Renesmee's current state?

The people he has known the longest now seem like complete strangers to him. Their facial expressions are all brand new and it leaves him wondering have they always held these or has he just never bothered to pay them any attention? He's seen the dazed look on Alice's face and her 'chess' face but other than that…he's not seen Alice look frustrated or anything other than happy. The same goes for Emmett and Esme.

Even Jacob has become a mystery to him. The wolf having only been stopping by once a day to check on the status of Renesmee's healing. Carlisle and Esme have both invited him, to go upstairs and visit with his imprint but it has been an offer that Jacob has declined with an assured shake of his head. It pangs Edward not knowing what Jacob is thinking when he hears the progress or lack thereof involving his daughter's healing. Carlisle, Jasper and Rosalie have discussed that Jacob has some ulterior motive to checking up on Renesmee that has more to do with her attackers then any sort of emotional and relational attachment that he has or had with the girl.

It hasn't escaped his hearing of Emmett grumbling about how much easier it'd be to figure out what the wolves were up to if Edward could only pick their brains again. The statement being nothing more than a careless observation made by his brother but has settled uneasily within Edward. The realization that he has lost his greatest gift is a hard blow and to couple this along with the fact that all these years Edward has never really truly known his family and 'friends'. He's only picked out bits and pieces from their minds to see what they were up to, planning and scheming. The wonder and interest that Edward Cullen once held for Bella Swan is slowly starting to spread to all of those around him. Everyone he has come in contact with and will come in contact with will all become a mystery to him, individuals with their own unique personalities, thoughts, feelings and wit that may either amuse or offend him.

The realization both thrills and frightens him as his wife, Bella, walks into the house from her most recent hunt. The allure that Bella once held for him is now gone and will now be applied to every single person he comes in contact with. Bella was a breath of fresh air, offering up a rare moment of silence, a sense of solitude and conversations that left Edward always wondering what would transpire next. With that feeling gone…what does that leave them with?

Bella immediately notices the gaze of her husband once she walks into the house. He's always acknowledged her presence before anyone else in the house with Esme being a close second as it is more of her nature to greet anyone politely even if they only went into the next room and returned. However, the look is different this time. She can see the questioning, worrying and almost paranoid look upon his face. The look only adds on to her feelings of self-consciousness and building paranoia.

The last three days since the realization that she lost her powers along with Edward, Nessie was still something that was unknown until the poor girl woke up, has been very trying. Her loss not being as obvious to her as Edward's but still there's a sudden feeling of being vulnerable, naked and useless. Her gift kept her safe from Aro and Jane, the latter, without a doubt, being one of the most dangerous of the Volturri guards, and made her stand out and above the rest of the Cullens. She was free to think and say whatever she wanted within her own mind. Her thoughts were her own. They still were considering how Edward couldn't read them now but it was still something unnerving.

The fact that a gift that she was born with and found so late in life, to have it stolen from her leaves Bella feeling violated and exposed. It's a feeling she's not had to deal with since her days spent as a living being. With Alice drawn into herself trying to figure out the Volturri's next move and Emmett comforting Rosalie over Renesmee's slowly improving condition Bella finds herself feeling very alone and out of place. She has not been included in the talks of the Volturri's move, her contribution to such an event proving to be useless unless or until her power returns.

Edward offers her a weak and crooked smile as she sits down next to him on the piano chair, neither knowing exactly what to say to the other as some form of comfort or encouragement. Her eyes quickly glance around the room at the people have become the closest thing to a family, a complete family, she's ever had. Each couple in their own space, offering some form of silent reassurance that leaves Bella feeling envious of. How did they know just what to give their significant other? And how did she and Edward not know how to do the same towards the other?

Granted, Bella has never been one for offering up her condolences or easily empathizing with the pain of others. The problems of others always seemed to be such a trivial matter such as Jessica and Angela's boy troubles. Each girl telling Bella about Mike and Eric, respectively, with Jessica talking more so than anyone but Bella never expressed any interest in their troubles and flaked out of the conversation when she was asked for her opinion. Their 'boy problems' just paled in comparison to the issues that she was having with Edward which at the time was trying to figure out the mystery behind him. The only problems that Edward and Bella had between themselves were changing her and Jacob Black. With those two values out of the equation Bella felt certain that she'd and Edward would just always have the perfect relationship.

Taking one more look around Bella begins to finally see her 'family'. The warmth that she has grown accustomed to seems to be lacking. She'd like to place the blame for the change on the absence of Renesmee's presence and the inevitable threatening presence of the Volturri but she knows it's more than that. The warm and playful laughter is gone and the one person that seemed to be able to ease the tension was missing: Jacob.

Jacob had become a part of the Cullen family through his imprint and the realization brings about mixed emotions within Bella. Jacob had found himself a niche within the family without having to change anything about his self. Sure the imprint had made Jacob more tolerable of the vampire stink but he never felt the need to put on 'airs' for the family or pretend to be interested in something that he either had no clue or inkling about. He was still his own ball of sunshine that Bella always admired most about him. His sudden absence now makes her aware of the void that is left in her chest, a void that she's never had to truly experience until now.

_I don't have Jacob anymore_.

Bella's thoughts have been replaying the fight over and over again. Some people would probably think that the two were way overdue for an exchanging of words but Bella never believed it would happen to her. After all, it was her and _her_ Jacob. Jacob could never say anything, intentionally, to hurt her feelings and it'd only take a matter of days for him to apologize but it was plainly obvious that Jacob had no intentions on apologizing. He truly meant every word that he said and was going to stand by them.

Had she truly mistreated and led him on so?

In her eyes she had clearly made it plain for all to see that she loved Edward and only Edward. Sure she needed Jacob too but only as a friend. Bella looks up at Alice but finding her sister-in-law wrapped up in a vision knows that she cannot speak to her about the matter of 'Bella Swan and Jacob Black'. Actually, none of the Cullens were people that she could discuss her relationship with Jacob as none of them truly saw her interact with him. The only ones who could weigh in were the rest of the wolves and none of them, with the exception of Seth, had ever been too keen on speaking to her for a prolonged period of time.

Bella find herself suddenly wishing that she had paid more attention to Jessica and Angela when the three of them were hanging out. That she shared more in their troubles because right now she could really use the advice of someone on how to repair her broken relationship with Jacob, if it should be repaired at all.

Truth is, Bella was ready to abandon everything, including Jacob, once she became a vampire to live happily forever after with Jacob. She can now easily blame her bleeding, beating heart for the attachment because nothing enraged her more after her transformation were: the news of Jacob imprinting on her daughter, Jacob's interference in reintroducing Charlie back into her life and the realization that instead of going up to Alaska that she'd have finish living out the beginning of her newborn days in Forks, WA.

But thanks to Jacob's 'aid' Bella was able to strengthen her already weakened bond with Charlie through Renesmee. He loved his granddaughter more than anything and was always willing to bend over backwards for her just to see her smile, at least in the beginning. But not even Charlie's love could stand the rapid pace at which Renesmee was aging and Bella's own frozen in time looks.

Bella had felt certain that now that she was beautiful, graceful and confident in herself that Charlie would want to be around her same as everyone else. That somehow he'd come out of his awkward shell that she inherited from him and want to become a permanent fixture within the Cullen home – Renee also. Maybe it was childish of Bella to think that now that her life was becoming perfect with her perfect, rich husband and best friend at her side, that the rest of her world fall into line; that her parents would learn that they truly still loved each other, would get back together and become vampires also to live forever with their only daughter and granddaughter.

However, it would seem that Charlie and Renee both had their own ideas. Sure Renee had married the baseball player and Charlie seemed to have had a thing going on with Sue but Bella just couldn't see how that life could be enough for the two of them. Phil was always working some part-time job and trying out for the 'big leagues' supporting her mother who still seemed unable to keep a steady and stable job. And Charlie would eventually have the added pressure of feeding not just himself but two shape shifting wolves in the form of Leah and Seth Clearwater; the former being less than likely to accept a handout from anyone who wasn't family and especially the father of a bloodsucking leech. But the two had chosen to live a life that was a constant struggle for the day-to-day necessities despite the warm and tempting offer made by their daughter.

Charlie and Sue's relationship didn't progress as Bella had originally expected for it to. At the time Bella had felt so certain that Sue and Charlie would become an item, leaving her free to leave him behind in good hands with Sue to feed and care for him and Leah desperately clinging to the first father figure that introduced himself to ease the pain of losing Harry. The girl seemed to be a 'Daddy's girl' and without having any prospects of developing a romantic relationship with anyone that seemed to be the next move for her.

Charlie had only said, 'Sue has her responsibilities and I have mine'. At the time Bella didn't know what that meant and asked Seth, who only said to go ask Leah. Bella had assumed that Seth was implying that Leah was the 'responsibilities' mentioned. The two girls had it out, a confrontation that was way overdue after Leah's vicious verbal assault on Bella's character when she pregnant. As it turned out, Seth had simply given Bella the brush off so that he could continue playing _The Sims_.

But Leah made it clear that not only was she the better arguer, stopping Bella cold with her sharp tongue, wit and 'facts' but that maybe if she 'acted more like an adult, maybe she'd be treated like one'. The comment stopping Bella cold as Leah explained that Sue and Charlie being together would mean that one of them would have to give something up; being Chief of Police of Elder on the Council.

Bella recalls her eyes widening in surprise at the news because she never imagined that the pair's relationship could be so complicated and involve more than just the two of them. Bella knows that Charlie has to live in Forks to keep the job he's spent his whole life working for and for Sue it would mean not only having to leave her two teenaged children behind but one of the most honored positions held within the tribe.

_The loss wasn't worth the gain_.

The words ring in Bella's head even now after so many years. Charlie and Sue held a fleeting interest in one another but it wasn't worth giving up what was the better part of their lives for.

_Not everyone is willing to just throw everything away for what they 'think' is love._ Leah had said before walking off leaving behind a shamed faced and embarrassed Bella Cullen.

Now more than ever Bella feels that she needs 'her' Jacob back. Loving Edward more wasn't supposed to mean that she'd lose Jacob. Jacob was the one key to everything that was her past, her family and some semblance of friendship. Jacob was the only one that has stuck by her side despite her mistreatment of him and who she could openly talk with and not fear having said something stupid or tripping and even when she did those things he made he feel good about herself. Looking over at the man next to her Bella feels the void of Jacob's presence even more so. The realization that Jacob loved her for her, never was becoming impatient with her clumsiness and his warm welcoming presence that seemed to invite everyone towards him and, inadvertently, her.

Before the thought can settle for another agonizing second longer, Bella is pulled out of her brooding thoughts with Esme's announcement that Nessie is awake.

* * *

Renesmee feels…grounded. She had never imagined anyone would ever hurt her. Sure maybe hurt those around her to get to her or protect her. After all, she's been raised and taught that she was special, a miracle, and a precious treasure – a princess. Yet, these two vampires had treated her like garbage, trash, something that was beneath them.

When she was finally alert it shocked and stunned her to see how much her appearance had changed. She was no longer beautiful, her eyes having lost their arrogance and confidence. She was…plain now after having had the 'glow' beaten out of her. There's a look in her eyes that screams that she's a frightened, anxious and sorrowful creature. It's a humbling feeling and a small part of her curses Esme for giving in to her demands for a mirror so that she could look at herself.

She's not had much more time to mull over her broken looks with the swollen eye, the busted lip and bruised covered cheeks. Her legs are probably an even worse state as she still has very limited movement in them but it could just be that Carlisle put them in a cast – she probably should've listened to him while he was explaining her current condition but she was too busy mourning her face to care. The entire room is now filled with her family and _former_ loved one, Jacob Black.

Renesmee would love to be able to glare at Jacob Black, allowing the heat of her hurt and hatred consume him in a fire of guilt that will cause the large man to break down into a bout of tears, apologizes and whimpers of forgiveness and mercy. However, she seems to have lost the power to bring about any sort of emotion within her imprint outside of anger and disgust.

She had felt certain from the moment he stormed into the room, his hair blown wild from the mad dash from wherever he was to here, with a bit of foliage and sweat covering his muscular chest instead of a shirt and his eyes black with determination that it was all for her. He had rushed over to see and tend to her as is expected of an imprinted wolf. Instead, the interrogation had begun. She was coherent and able to speak softly although with some trouble thanks to the cotton that Carlisle had stuffed in her mouth but it was deemed more important that the family and wolves have answers about her attackers then her making a full recovery.

Taking a shaky breathe Renesmee finishes _her_ tale of what happened with the two rogue vampires. It's all a lie but she cannot risk the dangers of everyone finding out the real reason behind her interaction with the vampires; a feat that would be next to impossible had Edward not lost his power.

"She's lying," Jacob growls out once Renesmee finishes her tale. The accusation both hurts and angers Renesmee and her parents but Jacob remains steadfast in his statement. Renesmee's eyes flit from Jacob's face to that of the few wolves standing behind him. It would seem that Jacob always held more confidence whenever the rest of the wolves were backing him up.

"Jacob, you can't be serious," Bella snarls out, narrowing her eyes at the man as her hands fist together.

"Bella is right, Jacob dear." Esme whispers softly trying to help ease the building tension. "Nessie has been through a very traumatic experience and to say that she's lying is just uncalled for."

"No, it's not because she's lying. You can all be blind to her so-called 'innocence' but we don't have the luxury of playing her games." Jacob growls out eyeing each vampire intently, challenging them to question him further on the matter.

"Jacob," Renesmee whimpers softly.

"I know you better than you know yourself." Jacob admits with a look of annoyance. "I've always known when you were lying but this is serious, Renesmee. This is no time for games otherwise you're putting all of our lives at risk. Your parents aren't so 'interesting' to the Volturri anymore and if you lost your ability too then so have you." Renesmee's eyes widen in shock at Jacob's words.

"Jake," Bella hisses quickly taking hold of Renesmee's hand and stroking it soothingly.

"Don't 'Jake' me," Jacob growls narrowing his eyes at Bella. "She's not a child anymore. She almost died and you all still want to sit up and caudle her? The dream and perfect life is over – for all of us. You may be fine with dying,"

"No one's going to die, Jake." Bella interrupts Jacob with a hard frown on her face. She wishes there was more conviction in her voice but even her words sounds weak, pathetic and half-hearted to her own ears.

"Oh, because what? You're going to find your friends, have them fight your battle for you?" Jacob sneers, his body starting to slowly tremble as the rest of the wolves in the room growl along with him. The idea of more vampires in the area is an unwelcomed thought that only reinforces the danger of the Volturri and will more than likely prompt the transformation of more boys and possibly a girl – more lives to be turned upside down.

"No, but," Bella begins become frustrated with Jacob's anger and cynicism. She finds herself missing the old Jacob, the imprinted Jacob that would happily leave Nessie in the dark while rallying the rest of the wolves together to protect his Nessie and Bells.

"The Volturri already know _who_ your allies are. I don't think you realize how much the tables have turned." Sam states with a sigh and a sad shake of his head.

"Sadly, I believe that Jacob and Sam maybe right." Jasper offers up. "We did make a fool of the Volturri by making our stand the first time."

"But we didn't fight." Bella argues whipping around to face Jasper.

"True, but Aro knew that we all were prepared to fight. They won't make the same mistake of underestimating us again."

"So Nessie, sweetie," Esme coos softly with a sweet smile. Bella steps aside as Esme begins to gently stroke Renesmee's hair trying to coax the truth out of her young, impressionable and forgetful granddaughter. "Tell us what really happened."

Taking a deep breath Renesmee tells the story over again – the truth this time, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Under the caring and encouraging gaze of her parents and grandparents and the cold, hard and scrutinizing glare of the wolves Renesmee sees no other option then to share all of the information that she has. Jacob guiding the tale along as it progressed, his snarls and glares piercing Renesmee deeply whenever she tried to withhold or embellish on some facts of the story.

_He truly does know me better than I know myself_.

The realization brings tears to Renesmee's eyes as once the story is over Jacob stares at her in shock, the actual truth of her hand in the matter clearly upsetting him more than she could've imagined. The shock is quickly replaced with rage as first Sam and Seth share in a look of deep, dark hatred for the girl that dared to send two rogue vampires after the woman in their life that cared for unconditionally. Paul isn't too far behind as his body starts to tremble violently and is ordered outside by Jacob before he can phase inside the house. Jacob, himself, barely holding to his human form turns and directs his attention outside looking at the forest. Plainly a look of disgust and disdain was in his eyes, a look she's never imagined he would hold for her of all people.

Looking around for some form of comfort Renesmee is sorely disappointed to see a look of shock upon her own family faces. Suddenly she is consumed with a feeling of shame and regret as Esme, Rosalie and Bella look at her as if she was a strange – worse, a strange, uncaring and heartless monster.

"Honey, you d – didn't', you wouldn't." Esme breathes out, her eyes shining with tears of shame and disappointment that will never fall as she tries to correct her granddaughter's admission.

"I did," Renesmee admits. "She's ruined everything." Renesmee argues deciding that she has nothing else to lose at this point. _If they wanted the truth so bad then they can have it_. "If she had stayed and accepted her fate, duty, responsibility or whatever _they_ want to call it then none of this would've happened. Jacob would still be in love with me."

"Yea but her leaving has really opened my eyes to what kind of person you really are." Jacob growls out angrily, his body shaking violently and is accompanied by the sound of bones audibly cracking and struggling to stay together.

"Please, Leah's a bitch," Renesmee snaps.

"She was hurt and angry." Jacob snaps back causing Renesmee to jump and wince in pain. "She didn't want to hurt anymore. She just wanted someone – anyone to understand her pain. But you – you're just a – a," Jacob's eyes narrow as he glares darkly at the girl before him. His teeth clench together, possibly the imprint preventing him from finishing the sentence but there is no doubt about his point that has been expressed to all present.

_Renesmee Carlie Cullen is a real bitch_.

She's made that clear by being cruel enough to send two vampires after a woman who left to find herself in the world and why? Jealousy.

"I can't even look at you." Jacob states with a deep frown, turning around and preparing to head towards the door. Sam and Seth both snarl their disgust and move to stand out in the hallway. "But I'm really not surprised. You've inherited your selfishness and all we did was feed it. Let's go." Jacob orders without sparing a look back and moving out the door.

"Jacob, please," Carlisle calls out making the wolves pause.

"Listen, the Volturri know of our existence and about the imprints as well. So, yes, we'll stand with you here too but afterwards we're done." Jacob states with strong conviction in his voice before walking out.

Renesmee sits stunned, looking at the space that Jacob had just previously occupied only a few seconds as her family begin discussing amongst themselves these strange new turn of events. Renesmee cannot recall ever seeing Jacob look so strong, confident, powerful, serious and hurt all at one time. Facing with the harsh reality that what she once held with her imprinted wolf maybe lost forever she cannot help but think that she was wrong to have carried on so – all of them. They had all, Cullens and imprints alike, grown accustomed to the wolves being their dogs: lapdogs, guard dogs, playful, loving and loyal companions. It would seem that it has really been the Cullens and imprints that have been biting the hand that feeds them and the wolves were no longer going to stand for it anymore.

* * *

A/N: Alright here goes the next update. Sorry if it's really broken up but my laptop froze on me twice and my wording maybe off as I tried to piece it back together from a slew of emotions that held onto for a fleeting moment.

But just to clarify a few things, my reasoning behind Bella and Renesmee's attitude for those fans is that the shy, quiet person who seemed to suffer from low self-esteem when she was younger and suddenly has the feeling that she has arrived _won't_ stay that way. I know because a girl I went to elementary school changed…but it was after she got boobs. *shrugs shoulders* I don't get it because I was an early bloomer so I guess getting them in high school is a big deal but basically it's just the kind of attitude that most girls have.

Like me, if I get back down to my high school weight won't nobody be able tell me shit. I mean it! And I'm sure there's a few of y'all who would agree with me because there are just certain things that just put you over the moon and will make you so full of yourself that you'll seriously believe that your shit don't stank.

But that's it basically and I don't think Bella was just a bitch to Jacob either. Angela Weber did try to be her friend – genuinely but she blew ol' girl off just because she was suddenly hanging out with the rich kids. Can everyone say 'Golddigger'? *sings* I knew you could. =3

So but as mentioned earlier I…two more chapters outlined out so…they both need some fleshing out but plan to have chapter 26 up within a week.

As always thanks for the reviews, alerts and faves. Blackwater fans please don't hate me for the John and Leah moment. I mean, c'mon! If the shoe was on the other foot you'd not be able to resist that sexy Alpha. But to appease you all there will be a chance meeting between our fave Almighty Alpha and his Beautiful Beta. That's a promise!


	26. The Truth and Preparations

The Truth and Preparations

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

_Sue smiles warmly watching as her son and daughter talking and laughing as they sit shucking ears of corn for dinner. The family is preparing dinner for a small get together with Charlie, Billy and Jacob. It's not often that she sees her children interacting so carefree like they used to in their younger days, before Sam Uley came along and changed everything with Emily. Not too long after the pack split the 'old' Leah was slowly returning and Sue had to, begrudgingly, attribute it to Jacob Black along with the rest of the 'Renegade' pack. Her family may not be complete as she has always originally intended but her children are the most important things in her life._

_Hearing a knock at the door Sue goes answer it, leaving a smirking Leah behind as Seth frowns trying to remove the strands of husk from his air. The smile upon her face falls as she is assaulted with the sweet scent of vampire and she sees Edward and Bella Cullen stand before her both with half-hearted smiles upon their faces. _

"_I hope you don't mind but I invited Bella and Edward to join us for dinner." Charlie says stepping forward with a huge smile on his face. Sue can only stand stunned for a moment, her mind slowly registering that there are two Cold Ones not only on La Push land but standing right outside her door._

"_It's alright, Grandpa," Renesmee chirps up confidently giving Sue a cheeky smile. "Jacob said it was okay." Realization slowly dawns on Sue as she mechanically steps aside, feeling Renesmee's hand showing her images of Jacob giving his consent for Bella and Edward to accompany Renesmee on a 'family' dinner at the Clearwaters._

"_Hey Jake," Seth greets excitedly as he steps into the living room but freezes seeing Charlie and the Cullens. "Oh, uh…hey, there Edward and Bella," Seth greets nervously before throwing a cautious look over his shoulder looking at the kitchen. "Is – is everything alright?" Seth asks walking forward towards the vampires and keeping his voice down._

"_Sure, everything is alright." Charlie says with a light chuckle. "I just started thinking about how long it's been since Bella's been on the rez, Edward has never been and Renesmee really wanted all of us to enjoy dinner together." Charlie explains. Sue and Seth exchange glances and can only sigh and nod their head in agreement._

_Even after two years Charlie was still blissfully ignorant to the supernatural world around him. Sue could never understand or explain how Charlie could not comment on Renesmee's growth spurt but chalked it up to him simply being happy that he had some semblance of a family that was perfectly content living in the rainy Olympic peninsula and him continuing on working as the chief of police. However, the Cullens were still not allowed on La Push lands, at least that was the last decision made but it wasn't unheard of for Jacob Black to bend the rules for the Cullens – namely, Bella._

_Tension begins to build as Leah walks into the living room and freezes seeing the unexpected guests standing in her living room._

"_Leah, Bella and Edward…are, uh, joining us for dinner." Sue says giving her daughter a pointed look that screams 'don't cause a scene'. Leah and Seth exchange a look and she has all the answer she needs – that her Almighty Alpha has had a hand in this. Sue looks on with a worried frown as Leah excuses herself and heads up the stairs to her room. _

_What exactly happened in between the moment she and Seth left. Seth heading outside for a moment and Charlie follows her into the kitchen leaving the Cullens alone in the living room. There's a sense of unease knowing that she's alone downstairs in her own home with three supernatural beings that drink blood – by choice – with her son out, possibly looking for backup in case Leah goes ape shit and her daughter probably either throwing up in the toilet or a fit in her bedroom. _

_But there is a loud, ferocious and house shaking roar that causes both her and Charlie to run out of the kitchen and into the living room. What they find is Leah standing with her hand wrapped around Edward's throat, the man pinned against the wall, her face close to his, teeth bared in a snarl and her body violently shaking. _

_It all happens so fast that before Sue can fully comprehend Leah threatening Edward for 'sitting in my Daddy's chair' that Charlie has already pulled his gun, trained on her daughter and ordering her to put Edward down. Edward seems unable to fight against Leah which is surprising as she seems to be suddenly stronger than him despite being in her human form. Edward's hands desperately claw at her wrist but without hesitation she slams his back into the wall again._

_Before Bella can intervene to 'save' her husband, being snapped out of her surprised stupor hearing Renesmee's cries does Seth and Jacob both burst in through the door. Seth gets in between Bella and Leah, sending a warning growl to the snarling vampire demanding Leah to 'put Edward down – now'. _

"_Leah, drop him." Jacob orders sanding behind Leah and glaring darkly at her back._

"_He sat in Daddy's chair – he doesn't even need to sit," Leah states turning around and glaring back at Jacob. Sue can't help but step back seeing the darkness in her daughter's eyes; the warm hazel coloring is gone and replaced with a midnight black and gold rimmed look. The woman before her isn't her daughter. Jacob growls a warning out to Leah to not say anymore but it's not a command and Leah pushes on. "He's a fuckin' vampire and doesn't even need to sit down and yet he chooses to sit in my Daddy's chair. His scent is gone – now!" Sue's eyes start to water hearing her daughter's words as the hazel returns and her grip loosens. _

"_Leah!" Jacob snarls angrily as Charlie gasps at the news._

"_But it's not as if you give a damn. You'll do anything to stand up and defend the vampires." The black and gold returns, her voice is deeper, sultrier and almost ethereal as the rage is now directed at Jacob Black._

_Shaking her head she turns and heads towards the kitchen and the back door. Jacob follows behind her and despite her better judgment Sue follows after the pair and watches with wide eyes as Jacob grabs Leah by the wrist, preventing her from leaving the house and turning her around to face him. The two begin talking quickly with heated words and wide gestures. Sue's eyes never leave the pair as Seth moves to stand behind her. Both wolves' eyes now are black with the gold rim around them, speaking in what she can only construe to be the 'old language'. As the conversation carries on Leah only becomes angrier and angrier as Jacob's voice seems to soften and is riddled with guilt. The words 'pitiful', 'fate' and 'Cold Ones' are the only words that she can piece together as the two continue talking as if no one else is around save them._

_Sue looks away for a moment hearing Charlie's voice calling her name and as she looks away does a loud slap suddenly fill the kitchen. Quickly turning to look back all Sue sees is the screen door slamming shut as Jacob Black stands at the door, his face turned away, shoulders slumped and as he slowly turns away from which Leah ran off does Sue see the sadness in his eyes and the huge, red handprint upon his cheek._

The realization has just now suddenly hit Sue after having a talk with a Nadie about the spirit quest, what happens, what to expect and what not to do. Nadie explained that the black and gold eyes were a physical sign/manifestation of the combined spirit and wolf within the warrior. Nadie could only recall having firsthand experience but once in her long life, as a child. Nadie was unable to answer Sue's question of what could trigger the change and if the warrior from the past was talking to one of his pack mates.

Leah and Jacob's close relationship was now making sense and the fact that neither remembered the argument that ensued afterwards even more so. All present had agreed to not mention to anyone else, especially the two parties involved, as it seemed that it either drew them closer together or pulled them further apart. Sue is filled with a sense of regret that had she sat down with her daughter and discussed that night, that maybe they could've arisen at a solution that would have brought her daughter some sense of closure, given her an idea of her purpose. It would've at least kept her and Jacob together because if only their spirits were communing – _their souls are connected_.

* * *

Charlie turns down the gravel driveway heading towards the Cullens. He can't help but swallow the lump in his throat, the realization that he's heading to a home full of vampires weighing heavy in his mind. It's been about two years since he was last here. Ever since that night when Leah lost it and he learned the real truth of who and, most importantly, what his daughter had become – a vampire.

The news had changed everything. His relationship with Sue was platonic up to that point but with Leah taking a more active role in the Council seemed like the opportunity that was needed for him to pursue a deeper relationship with Sue. But Sue did not take kindly to him pulling a gun on her only daughter. Bella had told him part of the truth while Sue and Seth cleared up any omitted facts. Leah and Jacob couldn't remember the fight or Leah spilling the beans but it did suddenly explain a lot.

Bella seemed hurt that Charlie no longer made time for her or Renesmee but he couldn't stomach the idea that his daughter and granddaughter were drinking blood – that his daughter consciously chose to drink blood.

He felt used and idiotic knowing that he was left out by not just his daughter but by the people who he's known his whole life and theirs and trusted. It was his job to protect the people of Forks but his ignorance had put many lives at risk. Sue lied to him and felt as if he couldn't trust her, intimately, anymore but he now worked with Sue and Leah – or rather had until she suddenly left thus leaving him and Sue.

Things were slowly falling apart and seeming to be rebuilt around him. The wolves had fallen apart, giving up their duties, leaving Leah alone to guard their home and with her absence they were trying to become stronger. He had done the same thing, fallen apart after Renee left and even more so when Bella decided, herself, to stop visiting him. Charlie drew within himself focusing on his job to help combat the feelings of hurt, sadness and rejection. He thought he had found his redemption in Sue and her family after so many years but it fell through as well. He was wrong for seeking redemption and acceptance in someone else. It was something that he learned from observing Leah – it came from within. A lesson that she taught him without ever realizing herself that she was doing it. Within himself was he able to find the confidence he's been lacking for the last twenty-four years.

Parking the cruiser he steps out confidently, zipping up his brown jacket to combat the rainy chill and out of habit readjusts his firearm. It's not effective against vampires but still helps calm him down. Long gone is the shy, quiet and awkward Charlie Swan and is now replaced with the confident and no nonsense Police Chief of Forks ready to deliver bad news to his daughter and her 'coven'.

"They want us to what?" Bella cries out in surprise. Charlie doesn't flinch as the vampires all gawp at him. "They can't be serious."

"They are very serious." Charlie states calmly, his eyes quickly assessing each of the Cullens. Nessie sits on the couch, a blanket draped across her lap with bruising all over her face. His eyes soften in concern but he's already heard from Jacob what had befallen his granddaughter. The paternal instincts within him want to comfort the poor girl and give her a stern lecture about running with the wrong crowd but that's only because he can see that she's alright.

"It's not permanent." _For now_. "They are going to participate in a spirit quest." Charlie explains turning his eyes away from his granddaughter and looking at the rest of the family.

"A what?" Bella asks again with a deep frown.

"A quest that will allow them to commune with their spirits – get in touch with the 'animal' within." Rosalie answers dryly with a look of exasperation on her face.

"Yea and it more than likely won't be safe for you all to be so close during the 'quest'." Charlie agrees giving an appreciate nod to the blonde woman that seems to understanding what is going on.

"But I – I don't understand." Bella says with a quick shake of her head.

"The Quileutes believe that the wolves have lost their balance and purpose." Charlie says with a deep sigh. It's hard trying to explain something that not even Sue or Billy seemed to fully comprehend and with Jacob's aggression towards Renesmee for her hand in possibly sending the two rogue vampires after Leah he was the next best option to communicate between the two parties.

"Imprints were their balance, gravity and purpose." Renesmee speaks up flatly. The spark in her eyes is gone and has left a dull, blank expressionless face. Charlie winces recalling seeing the same look on Bella's face when Edward left her.

"Yea, 'were' being the keyword." Charlie throws back more than aware of Jacob and Renesmee's relationship. He may not approve of his daughter's lifestyle choice but he drew the line at his granddaughter being with a man seventeen years her sensation and who he watch crush and gush over her own mother. "But if you will recall Leah slipped into the state of 'communing with her spirit'," Charlie says slowly as if reciting something from memory, "that night she attacked Edward."

Charlie looks on as everyone stiffens having heard of Leah's uncharacteristic strength that night.

"She was in her human form so imagine _that_ only from a male…in his wolf form." Charlie lets his words sink into each of the Cullens' minds. "It has been explained that while in this state they shouldn't be interrupted or touched or there might be a risk of the soul being lost. Now," He holds up his hand silencing Bella from questioning anymore. "Whether it's the wolf or human they do not know but the others will protect them in the meantime."

"So in other words it's best to err on the side of caution and not play with fire." Carlisle states as Charlie nods his head in agreement.

"For how long?" Esme asks and only receives a shrug from Charlie.

"I will call you when they are done." Charlie tacks on.

"Why are you doing this?" Bella asks, her eyes narrowing at her father and a look of disgust upon her face.

"Doing what?"

"Siding with them." Bella demands as her nose crinkles in disgust.

"Them?" Charlie repeats, his eyes widening at his daughter's attitude. "They are my family and friends, Bells."

"I'm your family. Renesmee, Edward and I are your family." Bella snaps angrily pointing at each member mentioned.

"No, my family wouldn't hurt innocent people." Charlie says with a sad shake of his head.

"We've never," Bella begins but is cut off by Charlie.

"Don't' stand there and lie to me, Bella. You've been the cause of those slews of murders all those years ago in Seattle. You've all sat here in your white mansion, choosing to ignore the pain of those around you. You _knew_ they were killing people sat aside and did nothing. In my eyes you're just as guilty as if you drained that poor baby of his blood." The Cullens all look down in quiet shame.

"The wolves aren't innocent either because they weren't doing their jobs. This quest will hopefully change all of this." Bella watches in surprise as Charlie turns and begins to walk out the door, heading back to his cruiser.

"But I'm your daughter! I'm your own flesh and blood. You can't just send me away like this." Bella cries following after her father.

"It takes more than just blood to make a family, Bella." Charlie says with a sigh as closes his eyes and shakes his head. Opening his eyes, he can't help but feel a tinge of pain, sorrow and regret. It was a father's – no, a parent's job to instill in their children the desire to love life, to live each day to the fullest and be the best that they can be, to become something more then what the previous generation was. But 'death' was not the decision – not even the most logical option.

No parent wanted to outlive their child and Bella had consciously chosen to commit suicide. Seth had tried to explain away or downplay the whole situation but Charlie couldn't look past the fact that his daughter, his _only_ child, saw death as the only option to bring about her happiness. There was nothing in this world worth living for and it has weighed heavily upon his shoulders. For a long time now he has been angry; at himself, at Renee, at the Cullens, Bella, Billy, Jacob and even Sue because all knew – knew that his daughter was playing with fire.

Looking at the woman before him it pains him to know that he'll never see her grow up and mature. Her body is forever frozen in the body of a teenager and despite however long she lives, she'll be nothing more than a teenager that will be driven by her childish whims, hormones and the chemical imbalance that makes teens and young adults believe that they are invincible. Seth had mentioned that in the vampire world the worst thing was a child vampire and without a doubt he had to agree but a teenage vampire was even worst; sure they could be reasoned but only so much. The entire world was filled with rebellious teenagers who wanted to be different, individuals, do their own thing and 'fuck society's rules'.

"You are so much like your mother." Charlie says shaking his head of all the videos and lectures he's had to sit through listening to and about troubled teens. Bella's eyes widen in surprise and a tinge of hurt at the comment that she can't help but construe as an insult. "Your mother was just as reckless, impatient, flighty and selfish as you are. It really shouldn't surprise me considering how you've spent most of your life with her."

"Cha – Dad, don't say that." Bella whisper, her face scrunches up as if she's about to shed tears.

"It's true. She didn't understand why I wanted to stay here – home. She wanted nothing but adventure, excitement and expensive dinners every night. I couldn't give her that. You know she only married me because I became a police officer and she thought that it'd bring a bit of danger to her life?" Bella looks at Charlie, her father, as if seeing him for the first time. He's never openly spoken of her mother other than asking how she's doing in passing or relationships in general. "I guess she figured that I'd grow bored of moving loiters on and catching the occasional bag of weed. Would want to move to L.A. and fight crime on the mean streets. All I wanted was to protect my family and friends – those who were most important to me."

"You've gone against _everything_ I've fought to protect." Charlie's eyes narrow, his hands fist tightly as he thinks back on the 'Newborn War', as it was called. He cried for all the lost souls that died over a simple feud, an argument that never should've taken place had Bella had _any_ common sense or regards for the life of others. Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, uncles, aunts and even fiancés were lost during this time. Innocent people who were just going about their day were then suddenly attacked, killed and reanimated all for the sake of revenge. His daughter never gave any thought to these people that lost their lives just so that she could just throw it away less than a year later.

"You threw your life away, Bella."

"I love him, Dad, but you wouldn't understand that." Bella snaps angrily.

"No, that's where you're wrong. Love isn't easy, Bells. It's not all sunshine, rainbows, loving hugs and sweet butterfly kisses. It's hard work, heated and violent. You have your ups and you have your downs. You'll fight, argue – hell, you'll probably even break things but in the end it's how you handle the situation and come to an agreement. It's look beyond yourself and look at who you are together."

"You say that we're family, that you love me but if Jacob hadn't told me about Renesmee what would you have done? Would you have just disappeared and I not ever hear from you again? Or maybe fake your own death leaving me and Renee to mourn your lost life as you ran off with Edward Cullen?" Bella looks down, biting down on her bottom lip in frustration, her brow scrunched up as she's unable to give Charlie a satisfying answer. Truth was she was willing to completely toss him aside to live out her life with Edward Cullen. Why didn't it matter that in the end that she remained?

"You're lazy, Bella, you want things to be perfect and easy. Life isn't like that and sadly I'm afraid that you're learning this much too late." Bella's eyes soften as Charlie's begin to water. "I'm afraid that the rose-colored glasses that you, Edward – the entire family has allowed you to wear will cost you more than you can even imagine." With a deep sigh Charlie turns and begins heading back to his parked cruiser.

"You know Bella, death is easy as it comes to all of us eventually but choosing life – to live and push on through every obstacle is the hardest decision one can make. If Renee knew about this I'm sure that she'd gladly join you in death."

Bella can only stand frozen Charlie gets in his cruiser and drives away. Despite everything she still finds herself stunned in disbelief over how everything in her world has changed seemingly so drastically, so suddenly. What more could she possibly lose? She lost her best friend. The wolves are still tied to them in the supernatural sense, there is a pact held that is older than Jacob Black and cannot be so easily broken. However, she is certain that once the fire that is burning within Jacob simmers and eventually smolders, the smoke clears that he'll remember who he is and who _she_ is to him. That they'll become friends again and things will return to normal. This was all just a simple pothole in their lives. Jacob was only feeling guilty about Leah leaving and because of her selfishness that all of those people died without his knowing.

_He'll come back – just like he always has_.

* * *

Leah sits surrounded by the pack and Elders, even though she doesn't need it she can't help but feel the need to draw closer to the bonfire, to feel it's hot flames licking at the moisture in the air that is building from her own natural body heat. Everyone has simply been talking, laughing and telling stories from their childhood. Leah finds herself in tears listening to Paul tell a story about how on a dare he and John had to egg one of their neighbors. In the cover of early morning the two went down with a bag full of rotten eggs, the whole time John mumbling nervously how this was a bad idea but was more afraid of the beating he'd receive if he chickened out. Without looking the two boys began chucking the eggs having heard what sounded like a door open never realizing that it was Nadie. Upon realizing their mistake they both ran away – or rather tried to as Nadie suddenly, mysteriously and magically appeared behind them and tanned their hides, the whole time cursing, screaming and promising the boys that they'd lose the ability to 'sit on their conniving, mischievous asses again'.

"Lesson learned: Look before you throw rotten eggs." Paul says after animatedly reenacting Nadie beating them within an inch of their lives as he and John cried and pleaded for their lives.

Wiping away her tears she looks over to see John watching her with a reluctant smile on his lips. His smile grows as she smiles at him and it makes Leah feel better. The two had a small falling out once John found out that Leah went to his father about the spirit quest. He was pissed that she went above him and she was pissed that he was keeping her from doing it. It was their first real fight and much like any other argument that she's had in the past, the past found a way to creep back and she was putting everyone else's faults onto him. She regretted it once the dust had settled and she was alone in the woods fighting the deluge of tears that were threatening to break free. The one thing that she hated about Ted was how he projected his past on others and here she had turned around and done the same thing to John of all people. He was only being a bastard for giving her the run around but everything that she unleashed upon him was completely uncalled for.

From there it took both of them a few days to get over their hurt feelings and pride to finally apologize to one another. He had stared down at her with a raised eyebrow as she began to word vomit her apology, rambling on about something she's not even sure was English let alone cohesive to the subject matter but once she finished she was surprised to find herself caught up in a tight hug from John. His entire body seeming to swallow her whole as her nose pressed into his shirt, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back and his warm, sweet voice chuckling lightly in her ear, 'you need this more than I thought'. The comment had earned a tearful chuckle and a quick punch to the arm.

Leah bites back a blush as John opens his arms inviting her over to sit beside him. He's tolerated Gio and Paul's flirtatious teasing with her long enough. Despite himself, John can't help but smile smugly as Leah gets up to sit next to him, earning groans of disappointment from Paul and a hurt 'ah, c'mon' from Gio. The moment her shoulder presses into his side John wraps an arm around Leah's shoulders, hugging her close before kissing the side of her forehead.

Leah listens intently as the actual bonfire stories begin. She is filled with a sense of nostalgia as everyone begins to sing the Old Songs, the low humming sounds of many voices reaching out to the ages has always lulled her into a state of near sleep. The vibrations strumming from John's chest as he sings along only eases her into complete relaxation. She begins to softly hum one of the Quileutes old songs, stirring up memories of the bonfire gatherings with her father, hearing Billy tell the old stories while trying to keep Seth close so that he didn't wander off to go sit with Jacob.

"Our tribe has been around for thousands of years," George starts off looking into the flames of the bonfire. "We have lived off of the land, caring for it the same as she has cared for us, protected her as she has protected us and given the same amount of love back.

The goddess, Sila, appeared before Chief Tiluma offering him a rare and special gift, a gift that would protect our people in the days of Cold Ones. The goddess smiled warmly upon Tiluma when he requested that she bestow the gift upon one of his many sons and agreed to bless each of them with the gift. The gift would be to change one's skin, to become a skin walker that will protect the village from an unheard of evil.

Hearing of the danger the eldest son, who was the biggest and strongest of his brothers, requested the strength of a bear. To the amazement of the tribe he turned into a huge Grizzly bear, the larger than any other bear the hunters had ever boasted of seeing before. The eldest son thanked Sila for the gift and stepped aside. The goddess smiled for he had chosen an animal known for its strength, courage, protection and life.

The next eldest son, known for his grace, stepped forward and requested the strength of an eagle and much to the amazement of the tribe he, too, turned into a huge Eagle, largest eagle they ever seen. The goddess smiled for this son had chosen the eagle that represents strength, courage, wisdom, grace and freedom. He thanked the goddess and moved to stand with his brother.

Each son picked his animal likened to his own personality: cougar for its strength and swiftness, the raven for its cleverness and communication, the owl for its amazing vision, wisdom and insight and the wolf for its cunning, ability to hunt and importance based upon family bonds.

The Goddess Sila left the tribe with her blessing, informing each son to train hard and to be prepared for the danger that would come.

The brothers all learned how to use their new abilities, helping their families and tribesmen hunt, fight and relay messages. However, over time strife began to build up between the brothers. They fought over territory, food, women and even pride. The personality of their spirit animals was becoming more prominent. The Grizzly became short tempered with those around him, the Eagle and Raven became aloof and spent more time soaring in the air. As each brother becoming withdrawn until finally he left the village with his own family.

The younger brother watched on with silent tears as his brothers, one by one, left the tribe. He alone remained as his spirit animal dictated but he found consolation in knowing that he would see his brothers again when the time of the Cold Ones was upon them."

Leah listened intensely as George went on into smaller stories of the skin walkers, how they each used a natural skill of the wolf to help solve life's problems. Wolves learned through experience and taught their young how to hunt, work together, the importance of family, tribe and pack.

The danger of the Cold Ones did eventually come and as promised the youngest son's brothers returned and together with their families fought against the Cold Ones killing the enemy, promising to come together again if the threat proved to be too much for their brothers and cousins.

* * *

The story replays in Leah's mind over and over again thinking over how the cousins all agreed to return and aid one another. With so many other tribes broken off, according to legend, from the Iskuts was it possible that she wasn't the only female shape shifter? Being the only female wolf would be more tolerable if she could find just _one_ female who had either traveled the road or was going down it now.

"Are you ready?" John asks snapping Leah out of her thoughts. Looking up at him she gives him a small smile and just as she opens her mouth to agree her stomach does it for her, unleashing a loud, long and deep rumbling. "I'll take that as a 'yes'." John says chuckling lightly as Leah blushes and wraps her arms around her stomach. "Okay, so…you'll be fine. I, _we_ won't be too far away. If you are in any trouble just call and,"

"John, I can transform into a giant wolf." Leah says chuckling lightly, her hand touching his arm to stop his worried rambling. "There's not too much out there that can harm me _and_ you're not supposed to interfere anyway." Leah adds with a knowing smirk as John grumbles something about the 'damn rules'.

"I know…I – I just don't," John begins but stops letting out a heavy sigh.

"I'll be fine and if something comes up that I can't handle, say a coven of blood thirsty vampires," John bristles at the idea, his eyes darkening and his muscles tensing. "I'll definitely call, howl and run right to you." Leah adds quickly trying to help John suppress the growl threatening to come out.

"Promise?" John asks with a nod of his head, his arms immediately wrapping around Leah's waist and pulling her closer.

"On my honor," Leah says with a small giggle, crossing her heart with her index finger. "But let me get going, don't want too many things filling my head right now." Leah says with a weak smile peeling John's hands off of his body. She could already feel that if she remained any longer with him that they'd kiss, a kiss would lead to kissing and kissing would lead to –

"You sure?" John asks with a playful smirk that she's certain he's probably either picked up from Paul or is just an inherited trait.

"I'm absolutely positively sure." Leah lies through her teeth as she turns and runs away from John. She can feel John's eyes boring into the back of her head as she raises a hand in a form of a good bye. The faster she puts distance in between them the better. John had become increasingly overprotective as the spirit quest drew nearer. Taking some form of hallucinogen wasn't an option for her as she'd more than likely burn through whatever dosage was given and it'd defeat the purpose if she came to, hadn't completed her quest and would have to return back home for more herbs. So a fast was the best option and with a shape shifter's high metabolism Leah felt weak and lightheaded the next morning.

With John as a chef it was killing both of them to hear her stomach growling just from the slightest whiff of food in the air. He had become her constant companion, offering her small little salads or bunches of grapes to at least satisfy her hunger which she begrudgingly turned down. It wasn't easy especially considering the few hours that John wasn't around her, coaxing her to eat _something_ that Paul and the rest would show up and just being the brothers that they were ate in front of her face, tempting and teasing her with their fattening, mouthwatering dishes.

Surprisingly she had held out and gave into her cravings and eventually walked away from her assholes brothers leaving Lee asking her if she wasn't sure she'd like to lick the pizza sauce off his chest.

However, she was tempted to go lick that damn sauce off of Lee's chiseled chest if not just for the taste but because her mind needed the distraction from food and her body was craving something – _anything_ to fill her up. And John had been slowly working on taking care of that need with his warm and gentle stomach rubs, his deep voice rumbling through his chest into hers, until finally his lips began brushing against whatever piece of exposed skin he could reach. It quickly became the heaviest make-out session she can ever recall having since Sam but it felt so much more…powerful. Her senses were now heightened so every touch felt like fire under his warm grasp, she could smell the mixing of her arousal and his musk pushing the sounds of the television away so that she only focused on the rapid beat of their heart beats and hypnotic and teasing friction of their clothing as he moved her hips against his erection.

Same as last time there was an interruption but this time it was George who walked into the living room to find his son lying on top of his girl. John had growled in frustration as George gave him a disapproving frown and informed them both that the fast didn't just mean food. 'I didn't have to tell _you_ this at the time but I told Paul, Lee and Gio – no hanky panky. It's a fast of mind and body in preparation to commune with your spirit.' And just to ensure that the two of them didn't try and sneak a quickie in Leah was sent to help Nadie with some mundane task.

Shaking her head of the carnal thoughts Leah jogs off deeper into the forest, her mind trying to come up with ideas of how she should get in contact with her spirit. Questions swell inside of her head of what her spirit will look like, what will she learn or if she'll be able to ask it anything as if it was some all-powerful and omnipotent oracle.

* * *

A/N: Alright so here goes the next chapter. I'm sorry that I couldn't deliver the Jacob and Leah meeting as I had stated in the last chapter but once I started writing this thing just got so big that I couldn't see it fitting in but it will happen. And don't worry this won't become a story about the Cullens, they are players in the game but not major players so just bear with me. I also had every intention of posting the update on Monday but it didn't happen and for some reason my mind just didn't see fit to continue on within the same chapter.

So just read and review. Tell me what you think and I'll sit back and read them while waiting on the SEASON PREMIERE OF WALKING DEAD SEASON 2 ON SUNDAY DURING BREAKING BAD!

I LOVE that show and I hope they have the girl walking with the two jawless and armless ghouls being led around on a chain yielding a katana. SO FREAKIN' AWESOME! Oh…and I'll watch Kill Bill too to help tie me over until…HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS comes out. \(^o^)/ OooOoOoOoooOooo…Harry Potter.

Oh and I had done some research on the tribe over a year ago and went off in search of it...but turns out that I lost most of that information when my flash drive died. So I apologize on the goddess's name.


	27. The Spiritual Plan

The Spiritual Plan

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters**.

Hello all, I know, I know it's been almost an eternity but there's been a lot going on. Just a forewarning, things will skip around about...half way through the story. If you're planning on reading this before you go to bed...don't. This chapter is 19 pages long. Go to bed and try this again tomorrow unless you're a night owl.

* * *

The pair has had to wait a couple of days to have an audience with the great and powerful Volturri. When they were finally admitted it was a small blonde girl that was sent to retrieve them, wearing a blood red cloak that somehow fed into her mind of a scene from The Wizard of Oz. That after all of the talking, the smoke and mirrors that the so-called 'great' Volturri would be nothing more than a bunch of old men, wanna-be politicians, no less, that settled upon hiding behind a bunch of pomp and glitter. The girl, Jane, seemed to feed into it as she lacked _any_ personality whatsoever or rather that she was thought herself to be far _above_ the pair and that bestowing them a cordial greeting or any type of greeting would mean to inflect some type of respect.

Abby's eyes widen slightly as she's hit with the image of Chris solemnly shaking his head. It is a clear warning to not let her dislike of the _Jane_ character to get to her.

_Alright, I'll behave_.

Abby is still adjusting to the fact that Chris can now read her mind. Fortunately, he didn't seem to always be paying attention to her or at least showed any signs of it. From what they had gathered, the original owner of the talent, Edward, was infamous for letting his emotions slip showing that he heard what someone had thought and even reacted upon them without anyone's express permission. Whether that was because Chris could better control this new talent like Isabella could her shield or just that Chris could understand it was best to keep a poker face it's hard to determine. She could simply ask him which was it and he'd probably give her a direct answer but as he's left her with her own thoughts, feelings and secrets so will she leave him with his.

The two exchange glances as Jane escorts them into a stainless steel elevator, the tiny compartment smelling of bleach and as Abby looks down she can't help but raise an eyebrow noticing tiny grates on the floor. The softly playing elevator music doesn't lessen the tension as they sink deeper and deeper into the ground. A feeling that one was sinking into the bowels of hell or their own grave is prevalent.

"I take it that sometimes someone can't wait for dinner to arrive?" Abby asks coldly, her ruby eyes fixed on Jane as Chris lets out an unnecessary sigh.

"Well aren't you just the observant one?" Jane asks turning to look at Abby over her shoulder. A cold smirk graces Jane's lips as she turns back to face the doors just as they open. Abby chokes down a growl noting Jane's refusal to answer but then again her response were more than adequate.

Jane's heels click on the stone floor as they walk into an open reception area, the lighting angled just so to add more emphasis on certain pieces of work such as a gargoyle or probably some long dead Saint. Red banners hang from the ceiling in the placement of tapestries that would seem more befitting for a castle. Off to the side is a huge circular desk that seems even more out of place with its dark wood paneling and a small, slender, dark-haired woman sitting behind the desk. At Jane's presence the woman stands up and greets them all with a deep bow, her eyes fixated on Abby, taking in her appearance and letting a small pout form on her ruby red lips. The woman definitely knew what they were and probably wanted to join the Volturri elite. Looking up at Chris, he shakes his head at her signaling that more than likely the woman would become a snack.

They continue on walking down the halls, voices and many footsteps echoing off of the walls as a few sharp clicks follow from a handful of digital cameras. There are multiple tour groups walking down amongst the catacombs of the cathedral, distinguished by the different colored flags and judging by the scents majority of the tour guides are simply mortals. It seemed that somehow the Volturri had started a tour group setup that allowed them to gather humans to feed the royal family and their guards. The realization fueling the stories that were told of the Volturri having no need to hunt for their food as it was delivered to them.

Pausing outside a huge set of double doors Abby steels her face and her emotions. She barely pays any attention to the intricate details carved into the doors depicting life during the early 1400s consisting of a collage of serfs working in the fields, monks praying and the construction of the cathedral while being led by three cloaked men. The doors open and the stone floor giving way to a smooth marble floor. The interior matches the marble flooring with huge pillars that seemed to be of the Corinthian order and the fact that she recalls such a mundane detail strikes a chord deep within her. While she entertained the idea of becoming a veterinarian someday it was Gabby's dream to be an architect. It wasn't unusual for Gabby to interrupt Abby's biology studies to share with her some unimpressive fact about the buildings in France, the bridges of Italy – _Gabby would've loved this trip._

Just as quickly as the pain hits her, is it suppressed and buried underneath a ton of concrete and huge walls erected around it – buried away in a mausoleum.

The Volturri's hold is a stark contrast to the rest of the building that adds to the ostentatious display of the coven's taste. Its extravagance giving off a mixture of old and new world decorating ideas that clashed horrendously with the natural beauty of the above world of Volterra. The air is cold, stale and tastes of stale blood which leaves a horrible taste in the two visitors' mouths.

The Volturri themselves seem something out of a cheesy teen romance novel with the three heads sitting in what looks to be like dark mahogany seats, carved possibly centuries ago but not fitting in with the décor of the marble pillars. The whole place seemed to be a hodge-podge of varying art and clothing styles from various periods looking like early Renaissance meets Amish home meets IKEA and various other periods were mixed together and then vomited out. The Volturri heads were definitely governed by a taste based simply on impulse.

"Greetings my friends," The black haired vampire in the middle greets signifying himself as the real leader of the Volturri. "I am Aro and these are my brothers, Caius and Marcus." He states motioning respectively each man on either side of him.

Without any knowledge of how to act towards the, so-called, ruling coven of the vampire world Abby simply nods her head as Chris mirrors hers with a more deep and solemn bow of his head.

"I understand that you two have patiently awaited an audience with us and I'm very curious about what it is that you have to offer us." Chris and Abby exchange glances, both without using Chris's new talent already knowing that neither liked the tone he had used with them but it'd probably change with the information that they had to offer – as well as Chris's talents.

* * *

His stomach growls again more loudly as he sits quietly contemplating everything that has transpired since the last time he saw Leah Clearwater, the day he walked away from her without a second thought and she in turn did the same to him – neither looking back. Leah's absence had been a huge pill to swallow and no doubt it was something that everyone, the wolves at least, had avoided talking about at all costs. They were warriors, tied to the reservation, unable to leave. This was not something that any of them asked for but they were bound to fulfill their duties and stay to protect La Push. Sure it was probably inevitable that eventually he'd leave La Push to go into hiding with the Cullens to only pop up in some strange country where it was perpetually cloudy, the temperature slightly chillier and offered a large expanse of untouched forests that allowed plenty of hunting for the Cullens and plenty of room for him to stretch out his legs and claim a territory as his own. But it was a dream, a nightmare that haunted the back of his mind, a grim reminder as every new gray hair that appeared on Billy's head that he'd soon outlive not just his father but his sisters, his nieces and nephews, his friends, his brothers who had all imprinted on mortals.

Somehow Leah's departure had awakened him to the realization that what Fate had preordained for him and what he wanted and needed to do were two different things. How had his life veered so far off course? How could he, the great-grandson of Ephraim Black imprint on a vampire hybrid? A girl that was half his mortal enemy and most of all did the one thing that made the Cold Ones dangerous – drink blood. Their kind only came about to protect their people from the Cold Ones, they fulfilled their duties and then lived out the rest of their lives bringing up the next generations.

Running a hand through his hair Jacob lets out a long and frustrated sigh, his fingers tugging on the ends a bit more roughly then was necessary. Leah just seemed to embody chaos and discord. When she wasn't happy she always found a way to make sure that everyone else around her knew it and felt it. She had gotten better after the pack split, mellowed out and seemed perfectly – well, in light of her defecting from the pack or what was left of it, mildly seemed the more befitting word. She seemed mildly content with the way things were going and that was because she hadn't said otherwise.

_Since when did Leah Clearwater stop telling people when she wasn't happy?_

But her departure has brought about even more chaos. The pack now seeming somehow lost and uneven without her, it was as if they were missing a limb, knowing that it was no longer there but still experienced the phantom sensation that says it's still there. The imprints had seemed to be overcome with a rush of jealousy over the wolves' concern for their missing sister. Emily was understandable because Leah and Sam had a long history and for a while there was unfinished business between the pair that fed into Leah's anger towards Sam and Sam's desire to protect Leah from harm of any kind whether emotional or physical. Renesmee also because he and Leah were extremely close, their relationship just bordering on the line of seeming to be more than 'just friends'. The two at times shared a bed which never crossed that line of 'intimacy' but still spoke volumes to the kind of bond that the two possessed. Somehow, the idea that someone could be more important to the pack then their _one_ imprint was the catalyst to the whole tension between imprint and wolf. It wasn't necessarily that Leah was the pack's interest but the fact that one of their own was gone – had left.

It could've been anyone that suddenly left unexpectedly and the whole pack would've been thrown off but for some reason because it was Leah meant it was something more. Seth had lost his sister, his biological sister, one of only two women in the world that have known him all of his life, that has seen him at his best, worst and everywhere in between. Embry lost a friend in Leah, the two having built a strong and close relationship with its foundation built upon the fact that neither should've been able to phase if life was the way it had been built up to be. Alex lost his aunt, Rachel her best friend, Sue her daughter and he – Jacob Black, well he felt as if he lost a part of himself.

Shaking his head, trying to rid it of those thoughts Jacob hears a growl and is unsure if it's coming from his chest or his stomach. Sue and Billy had explained to him that wherever Leah was she was preparing to do a spirit quest to get in touch with the spirit within. He doesn't know why or how but he just _felt_ that he had to do this too and soon.

He just knew that something profound was going to happen but it was all dependent upon his timing. That this 'quest' would somehow set his feet on the right path, the path that he was always meant to follow but refused to because of his insecurities and feelings.

Feeling lethargic and weak Jacob's knees buckle under his weight and he drops to the forest floor. For the last two days he's been phasing in and out, running and pushing his body to this point – this final stage. Why take a bunch of herbs when not eating and phasing which burnt a whole lot of calories and left one feeling on the brink of near death and looking emaciated. How Leah could've held out on hunting and eating on raw flesh in her wolf form for so long Jacob will probably never know.

_Leah_.

His says her name, quietly to himself over and over again as he lies down on the ground staring up at the sky above him. It's like a sweet lullaby as he remembers the feel of her body pressed up against his, the way her breathe always tickled his ribs or his armpit since she always felt the need to snuggle as deeply into his side as she possibly could and he recalls watching her chew in her sleep.

Laying down Jacob lets his mind wander freely going from thoughts of Leah, to his pack, the rogue vampires, Bella, Renesmee and the Cullens. So many other things pass through his mind that he had locked away for many years now and slowly his mind is clearing itself of all the thoughts and feelings that usually occupy it.

His mind begins to slowly empty of its thoughts, worries and speculations. The breathing that has been deep, heavy and ragged with a hint of a perpetual growl begins to grow lighter, steadier and rhythmic. The broad shoulders that have become squared under the weight of his Alpha responsibilities and the frustration of life begin to relax, the weight slowly slipping away and beginning to look more carefree as his legs cross to sit Indian style, massive, calloused hands falling into his lap and his chin dropping just a little bit to give off the look that he is both relaxed and alert.

* * *

She's only fasted twice in her life prior to this moment and then it was part of a religious experience at church and the other was part of a cruel and unsuccessful crash diet to lose about five pounds to fit into a junior bride's maid dress for her cousin, Gail's, wedding back when she was sixteen. At the time she rewarded herself with fresh juice that was even more watered down then probably was necessary. She had grown irritable during the three day period and slept longer but it was still manageable – _she_ was still manageable, in control on some level or other over her mind and body.

She had the 'religious' experience that the congregation had been searching for but because she was only a simple teenager and no one else seemed to have the same religious wave, experience or epiphany or whatever the adults had wanted to call it at the time she simply downplayed her own experience while silently praying to God to forgive her. The diet, although, not a religious or spiritual journey had also played some part in providing a sense of enlightenment which was 'starvation is for idiots' simply because not even birds were dumb enough to consciously _choose_ to not eat.

But she was a different person then – physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, socially and spiritually. She was much more mature to handle any sort of revelations then she would've been at sixteen, eighteen and even twenty when all of the 'physical, emotional and spiritual' changes took place. It was the physical change that was making this whole experience much more trying. As a shifter burning off calories like a hummingbird but to the brink of death still made the whole event trying.

Leah had long forgone the attempt of phasing hoping that being in her wolf form and letting the wolf takeover would aid her in her journey. It only left her more open to the thoughts, feelings and nosing of her pack – John more so than anyone else. So she was forced to phase back to her human form which if hindsight was 20/20 would've made more sense because this was about _her_ getting in touch with the spirit within – not the wolf and she couldn't do that if she gave herself up to the wolf, again. But the experiment had left her feeling more exhausted, fatigued and starved then when she had started.

So desperation and frustration had consumed her, the desire to hurry up 'commune' with her spirit, receive her 'enlightenment' and become 'one' with Nature, Self and whatever kind of bullshit that Nadie had spouted on about all with the final conclusion being that she'd race back home and John would have the biggest chicken and spinach casserole waiting for her.

Collapsing to the forest floor Leah can only let out a low but deep guttural growl and for a few minutes she's uncertain of whether or not it's from her chest or her stomach. Patience has never been her strong suit and had always been why she was better at nuking a meal then actually following step-by-step directions in preparing one. So she always tipped her imaginary hat to anyone and everyone that had the patience to sit and watch water boil.

But maybe that has been her problem, has always been her problem. She expected things too quickly or at least to fall into her own established timeframe. She expected the pain of Sam and Emily to just fade away quickly, that they'd sooner rather than later or never ride off into the sunset leaving her behind to then continue on with her life without worrying about their intrusion and watchful gaze. At the same time she never expected her mother to move on from her Daddy and on to Charlie Swan so quickly, Seth to bounce back from the sudden and unexpected death of their father and even more sudden and unexpected transformation.

The problem with the world was that it didn't make sense to her, things didn't play out as she'd like them to…but wasn't that just part of life? Had she somehow subconsciously held onto this childlike ideal that the world was supposed to be a certain way? A view that slowly and sadly changed from a world that was in chaos to simply becoming a world that she brought chaos to? A place where she simply fit into as nothing more than just a body? That everything happened not only just for a reason but as some sick and twisted punishment for a heinous crime that she had committed either in this life or next or _would_ commit?

The world and life wasn't based upon a set of weights where everything had to balance out; where Bella received most of the good and Emily the rest while she was given the rest of the shit. Life wasn't about good always triumphing over evil, where the good guys always wear white, where love is eternal and after a rainstorm there's a rainbow.

It was all about perspective, wasn't it?

Bella was a small, fragile and insecure young girl who clung to the two people in her entire world that didn't mind her clinginess and in fact turned around and craved her attention and did anything for it. It was nothing more than Edward and Jacob's own conscious decision to still keep on being there for her as she played with their feelings whether wittingly or unwittingly. At one point, either one could've made a decision to just stop – just stop loving her foolishly and blindly, forced her to, actually, choose between the two of them, to let her make her own mistakes instead of cleaning and covering them up. But because of those decisions and coincidences things had played out to where Bella got the whole world on a silver platter. The only alternative would've simply been Swan probably would've drowned had Jacob not chased the red-haired vampire to the ocean and picked up Bella's scent by the cliffs thus ending the red-head's plans for revenge, saving more lives and life in La Push returning to some sense of normalcy – a life that still would've left her without Sam.

Emily was no different because if Leah hadn't invited Emily over then she and Sam wouldn't have met but then it would've been much further in Leah's relationship with Sam. They could've met on the night before her wedding during rehearsal only increasing the hurt and embarrassment tenfold and not to mention what it would've done to her own pride and rage. It was hard to look at it from that perspective as she wasn't a third party looking in but trapped behind the walls that Sam's imprinting had erected around her. She could've been happy that she was free, realized before it was too late what an inconsiderate bastard Sam Uley could be if you did not fit into his perfect little world because the two had had some serious arguments after the break up, after the phasing and even after the pack split which was simply pure, raw emotions but never brought about any closure to either one. Leah finally settling upon indifference towards Sam and Emily which finally convinced the pair that Leah was not only over Sam but the whole mess and finally relented in trying to include Leah into every facet of their lives.

So everything was about making a choice. Choices that could lead a person down a possibility of many different paths. But what was her path? She'd been on this journey of a young woman, a Clearwater, a wolf, a warrior, a Beta and so much more for so long but she still felt lost. She still didn't know who she was or what she wanted out of life. What could she get out of life?

These thoughts begin to slowly consume Leah's mind, the questioning and wondering slowly becoming a dull and soothing humming noise. During her deep speculation she'd turn over to her back, her eyes focused on nothing specific, legs carelessly crossed at the ankles and her hands folded and rested on her flat stomach. Her body's posture does not project the deep and often troubled thoughts in her head, giving them any justice but now as she begins to relax does it make sense, does it feel as if her body has known what to do from the beginning but has simply waited patiently for her brain to give up control, to let another part of her step up to the forefront.

Everything about the world around her begins to blur and swirl together, mixing into a stew of greens, blues, whites and browns. The sound of nature and her own body are added into the bowl, the more high pitched sounds such as the chirping of birds and the whistling of the wind in the trees are added in with the bright colors while the steady beating of her heart and the low decibel digging of some rodent underground or a fox digging after said rodent become dark earth tones that bring about an odd sense of peace that Leah can never recall experiencing before.

Time becomes irrelevant to Leah as time seems to speed up and slow down all at once, the bright color of the swirling world around begin to spin around and around, making her feel dizzy but in a good way, her head swimming before suddenly there's a bright flash of light, warmth and silence – a silence so thick it's suffocating, a sensation that she cannot fight and has no desire to fight as she succumbs to the darkness.

* * *

The world around her is brilliant, beautiful and awe-inspiring. There's a preternatural beauty about the place that transcends anything she's ever seen whether with her own eyes or even in pictures, paintings or postcards. The landscape itself inspires a sense of calm within her that she's been searching for since she first entered into the world naked, cold, and frightened and screaming her anger and outrage at the world.

Taking in a deep breath Leah feels her body slowly relaxing as the cool, crisp fresh air enter her lungs and travels throughout every hair follicle, nerve and vein inside of her body. It is refilling her with a vigor that far exceeds the exhilarating heady adrenaline rush that comes when caught up in the 'chase', the hunt after Cold Ones or a simple game of tag with her brothers. Spreading out her arms she falls back to the ground, the grass beneath her cushioning her fall as if it was made of hundreds upon thousands of goose down feathers. The sun's warmth kisses her skin lightly and gently like some long-lost lover, her skin greedily soaking up everything it has to offer and more.

There is no doubt in her mind that she could stay here – always, running around, exploring, lounging and enjoying the peace of this world. Sitting up she knows that would be counterproductive to her purpose, it would go against the reason for why she's here in the first place. Looking around she feels a hint of confusion slipping in like a thief in the night, the uncertainty of the situation begins to stir deep within her bringing about old feelings of fear, worry and worst of all insecurity. Closing her eyes she takes a few deep calming breathes, pushing the worrisome feelings away, throwing them in a deep and dark closet, the place where she hides everything that is a weakness within her, shows signs of vulnerability.

The moment the task is done she turns to hear a rustling in the bushes behind her. Slowly turning around she sees a pair of bright yellow eyes watching her closely, looking not only at her but within her and through her all the same time. Its eyes that she's seen before, staring back at her in the closet mirror when she first phased after the fight with Seth and every time she stopped to drink some water ever since.

There is no surprise or fright as the giant wolf steps out from the cover of the foliage. Her form massive and yet still sleek, lean and sublime. The coat is a silvery white mix with a splattering of dark grey along her spine, moving up to form a small cap at the top of her head that ends with two fine lines shooting straight for her eyes. Leah's eyes widen slightly as the wolf slowly pads towards her and stops, her broad chest stopping at Leah's eye level meaning that the wolf before her is much bigger than herself and larger than Jacob.

The wolf sniffs the top of Leah's head, her hot and heavy breath blowing the strands haphazardly, and its nose twitching against her scalp before her rough tongue flicks out sleeking back the hair. It's a gentle, soothing and motherly act that brings a smile to Leah's face and for a moment she entertains the idea of pushing the wolf away playfully to see if a game of wrestling would break out. Without preamble the she wolf snorts and walks away, looking back at Leah, her eyes beckoning the human to follow her.

The pair's journey is short-lived as the wolf suddenly stops making it seem to Leah as if the pair has gone nowhere – at least judging by the surroundings but Leah chooses to keep her opinions to herself – this one time. The two stand regarding one another; one waiting for the other to make a move or possibly say something while the other looks on silently as if waiting for the right opportunity to make a move.

Leah isn't sure how much time has transpired, her mind seeming to have drifted off for a moment as if she'd fallen asleep, as the wolf shakes out her fur and transforms into a woman. The copy of her wolf form did not surprise her but she cannot contain it seeing an exact copy of her. The woman is tall, much taller than Leah and for a moment she wonders if she is tall as Jacob, 6'7", her features are sharper and yet there's a softness in them that makes her clearly feminine. There's an intellect in her eyes that Leah knows she has never seen in her own eyes and can only think of Nadie and Old Quil having a look that is so close. The eyes seem to hold all of the answers and yet there's an innocence about them that says there is still much for her to learn, that as long as she lives, she'll never stop learning. While the eyes are sharp and fierce there is a genteelness in them that lets Leah know that she can trust the woman with all of her deepest, darkest secrets because she already knows them, has traveled down that road, can sympathize and emphasize with her.

"Why hello, Leah," The woman speaks with a warm smile spreading across her face. It's a look of someone who is seeing a long lost best friend for the first time in years, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Or would you prefer Lee," She questions with a smirk. "Or maybe Lily," Leah finds herself blushing as the woman waggles her eyebrows at her. "Eh, it doesn't matter what I call you or you me, does it now?" The woman asks and Leah quickly shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips.

"It's funny getting to finally meet you like this." The woman continues on not letting Leah's silence deter her. "I mean I knew it was going to happen someday but I just didn't think it'd take _this_ long."

"Were we supposed to have done this sooner?" Leah asks finally speaking up after the woman rolls her eyes at the time frame.

"Well…yea," She says matter-of-factly as if it was common knowledge. "But for some strange reason or other, maybe it's just the times, but your tribe didn't see the value in allowing you – _any_ of you – in communing with your spirits."

"Is that what you are? My spirit – the wolf that resides inside me?" Leah asks quickly.

"Yes and no." She answers with a small frown, her lips tight and Leah can tell that she's annoyed that she was interrupted.

"Well what are you?" Leah asks not feeling the slight bit intimidated or guilty for the interruption.

"I am both your wolf _and_ your spirit – at least in this form." She states, her arms spanning out to accentuate her body, the form to be more specific. "I am what you _could_ and should be."

"An even bigger chick?" Leah deadpans, a frown playing on her lips as she takes in the tall Amazon woman before her. She was beautiful but she was too tall, her thighs much too thick and she probably had man hands.

_No woman or man wants that_.

"You humans are so superficial." The woman says with a deep sigh as she shakes her head. "And just for the record, I do _not_ have man hands." Leah can't help the blush that spreads across her cheeks as the woman before her throws back her own thoughts and insult. "You _won't_ become a massive giant that will frighten little children." Both women frown at the memory of the insult Paul had thrown at her during the first couple of weeks after her phase. Leah had always been tall for her age and felt relieved when the boys started hitting their growth spurts at about the eight to ninth grade and passed her up. It still was always an insecurity she harbored deep within her and phasing had then brought it all back to life only adding more and more insecurities on top of her already chaotic life.

"Besides, since you haven't noticed I'm really not that much taller than you. The only thing is that _now_ you are nothing more than just a simple human. A mere woman whose inane instincts and survival instincts sees me as something more – something dangerous and to steer clear of."

"Many humans possess this ability but there are a few who, for some reason or other, lack the common sense to avoid danger. It's a disease that does more harm than good in the end for its host. Its likened to the rare condition called congenital analgesia which means," The woman began to explain seeing the confused expression upon Leah's face at the term, "that one is impervious to pain, the synapses within the nerves from communicating sensations to the brain."

The two stand looking at one another; one with a blank expression that slowly shifts to an ''oh c'mon' look while Leah stands in awe at what she's just heard.

"How do you know all of this stuff?" Leah asks carefully with a small frown on her face.

"I really don't know a whole lot." The woman says with a simple shrug. "I know what you know and what you are meant to know. The disease _you_ read in a book about a year ago. You just don't recall reading it – so it would seem. _But_, what I'm getting at is what you are in search of 'purpose'. Everything in life has a purpose and sometimes there are things that occur that go against that purpose."

"Like the disease that you mentioned," Leah whispers softly.

"Yes,"

"And…the instincts to recognize danger – that Bella lacked." The woman nods her head again. "But why bring her up?"

"Because of her lack of survival instincts it has caused a whole slew of problems – problems that have affected everyone and everything around her. Her presence and the continual desire of everyone around her to keep her alive have had more of a ripple effect than anyone could imagine. Her presence caused everyone to lose the control that they were intended to have."

"So she was supposed to die?" Leah breaks in, a low and weak growl rumbling from her throat.

"Hold on now, I didn't say that. Everyone's life has a purpose, what _her_ purpose in life was, or is, I do not know and that is between her and her maker but it has greatly affected yours – ours – and our brothers." Leah sits down listening, feeling that all of her questions can wait as her spirit begins to delve deeper into what has spurred this on quest on – purpose and control.

"Chaos ensues when you, humans, go against what you are meant to do, what your intended purpose is in life. Your life and everyone else's has slipped into this chaos. Some have been better equipped to deal with it then others – you, however, were poorly equipped. Your self-centeredness blinded you,"

"_My_ self-centeredness?" Leah screeches quickly jumping to her feet, cutting the spirit's talk short. She stands angered, her fists clenched tightly, and teeth grinding but there is something missing – lacking. There is no hot lava licking at her spine, the hairs on her body does not stand on end and the snarling wolf that has become a huge part of her life, her personality is absent.

"Calm down there, kid," The woman says with a dark smirk. "You forget already that I said you are a mere human now. You're not the spirit warrior here – I am. You do not possess inhuman strength that would make you a danger to those around you – I am. If you were to hit me _and_ if I allowed it you'd break your hand." Leah's eyes widen as she looks down at her hands, the still tightly clenched fists that suddenly look so small and helpless to her eyes in comparison to the woman's relaxed hands across from her. "You misunderstood me – I'm not saying that _you_ alone are self-centered but I do find it amusing that you are so arrogant to think that you're the only one who isn't or entitled to it. It's all part of human nature so quit denying it – accept it."

"But as I was saying you were so self-centered that you thought that _you_ were the only one struggling with finding yourself within this change that came about. Sam struggled, Paul, Jared especially Jacob and Embry struggled. The difference in how you handled it in comparison to them. They engrossed themselves into the patrolling and imprints. You engrossed yourself into the pain of your loss – you focused on the negative. That negativity has only served to hurt you and not help you. Now _they_ also handled your situation improperly never realizing that although the pack as a whole was important, it's only as strong as its weakest link. Emotionally you weren't ready to deal with the situation and had things gone according to its original plan, purpose and role your transition would've gone a lost more smoothly."

But that is something that will be addressed later when the time is right. This meeting is about your future and not the 'should've-could've-would'ves' of the past. Questions, everyone has them and this is your opportunity to get some answered. Now keep in mind that I'm not God or an all-knowing-omnipotent being. I'm simply a spirit – your spirit. I know you better than you know yourself – better than anyone you have met. I know the bright side of you and the dark side. I know your deepest, darkest fears and insecurities. Although you've not been fully aware of me I've been that warmth that held you tight when you felt so all alone and I've been that tune in your head that has brought a smile to your face. I am always with you and will never leave you. We are partners in this journey called Life. Your pain isn't yours alone – it's ours.

"So you are a part of me?" Leah questions slowly and carefully, her mind trying to wrap around the concept. The woman nods her head with an encouraging smile on her face. "And…what do I call you?" Leah asks in awe at the woman before her. This woman looks like her but there is something else about her – something more. Her presence commands respect while also comes off as being very approachable, she's amicable. Her posture and stance gives proves her physical strength and prowess while at the same time seeming so relaxed and at ease with not just her body but the whole world around her. But it's her eyes that really touch Leah, the eyes are her own but there is where the woman's true power resides. Her eyes that seem to pierce Leah straight through, that are currently dissecting her, tearing down all of her walls.

"You humans and your strange need to name, label and categorize things in your world." She says with a chuckle. "But you can just call me Willow."

"Willow? Like Willow Smith?" Leah watches as Willow's face falls, her eyes widening as her mouth hangs open fixing Leah with a shocked and incredulous look.

"No!" She growls out, recovering from her shock and standing back up to her full height, arms crossed tightly and eyes narrowing at Leah. Leah can't help but to swallow the lump in her throat seeing the all too familiar stance and cold, hard gaze that has led 'Willow' to begin accumulating an arsenal of insults to throw back at her. "It's a name given to me by someone special a long time ago." She explains, her voice caring a soft and sentimental tone to it. Leah raises an eyebrow noticing the woman's small and warm smile.

"Who was it?" Leah asks feeling curiosity get the better of her.

"That's not important." Willow states effectively changing the subject and impressing upon Leah that the matter was not to be brought up again. Leah can see how she earned the name as she fit it perfectly; she was tall, slender and there was an elegance about her that makes her beautiful. "There are more important questions besides that."

With the option to finally have her questions answered Leah can't help but feel a sense of trepidation over the matter. A slight fear over what the truth would mean for her and her future but as she looks up over at the woman beside her, the spirit that resides in her it begins to slowly ebb away. "What is my purpose?" Leah asks after taking a slow, deep and calming breathe.

"Your purpose is to be a protector, to fight against the Cold Ones that threaten mankind." The answer is so straightforward, simple and delivered so matter-of-factly that for a moment Leah sits mulling over the words, trying to find some deeper meaning behind them before irritation wells up inside of her.

_That's what everyone else has been telling me since this shit started_.

"It hasn't changed," Willow says with a small frown before turning attention to a long blade of grass by her index finger. "You are a warrior and your purpose is plainly clear unlike most others in the physical world. You should consider yourself lucky that your purpose is blatantly obvious because otherwise you'd realize it much, _much_ too late in life."

"But…don't I serve any _other_ purpose besides protecting La Push?" Leah pushes, her tone and connotation on 'other' hinting towards a subject matter that has been taboo for so long in her life that she's not even sure if verbally speaking it would bring about the same sting that it used to hold.

"I never said anything about La Push, specifically." Willow says choosing to ignore the bait. "Sometimes humans can be so narrow-minded, selfish and self-centered. The threat of Cold Ones doesn't just reside around Forks. Common sense, experience and shared knowledge with the Cullens prove that." Willow's nose begins to crinkle and her lip curl into a snarl as her eyes take on a far-off gaze. Leah sits patiently waiting for her to return to the present before feeling a cold, sickening and guilt-ridden feeling shoot up and down her spine.

Images of people crying out in pain, limbs being broken, frigid puncture marks embedding into her skin, a stinging, burning and yet freezing sensation flows throughout Leah's body making it feel like thick shards of ice were moving through her veins until there's nothing more than a gut wrenching pain of loss, regret and sadness.

"What was that?" Leah gasps coming out of the hallucination to see Willow staring back at her, both woman's face mirroring the shared experience.

"That was the pain and sufferings of the souls lost during what you all have called _The Newborn War_." Willow whispers as if speaking louder would only invite more pain.

"But – but we didn't know about it." Leah quickly explains, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, hugging her body and hands rubbings her biceps for warmth, security and closure.

"The signs were there if you all had just taken a moment to look beyond your own yards." Willow growls darkly. "It was in the newspapers and such a string of attacks _warranted_ the investigation of those who were created to protect the innocent and helpless." The harsh accusatory tone in her voice makes Leah feel small and the earlier blanket of guilt begins to slowly envelope her. "But do not feel that you are totally at fault as the Cullens definitely had a hand in it." Leah looks up recalling how it was the Cullens that informed Jacob, Embry and Quil of the red-headed vampire's plans to amass an army all to kill Bella Swan. "The Cullens are not an innocent in the matter despite their well _intentions_ and kindness towards your pack."

"So…I'm – that is, _we,_ are not limited to protecting just La Push and our people but to everyone." Leah says going over what she's learned thus far. The simple fact opens up more questions into why hadn't they, why was it never mentioned before. In the end, it all comes back around to the primary factors: _Sam and the Council_.

"The world is a far stranger and open place then it was back during the last pack," Willow says, her voice taking on an almost wistful tone and a small smile playing on her face as if remembering old times. "Communication wasn't so immediate then and the skills needed to survive weren't as dependent upon a capitalist society as it is now. Back then they could still live off of the land and a high school diploma…well, didn't carry such a weight then as it does now." It's a simple fact that is only worthy of a simple shrug.

"So we are all equally guilty in _The Newborn War_." Leah says not liking the bitter taste agreeing with the statement leaves.

"You mustn't turn a blind eye to those in need." Willow says solemnly. "We are all brothers and sisters under the Creator and because of that simple bond we are responsible for one another's safety. Sure there are those that cannot be saved but those who can – must." Leah nods her head recognizing the words as another one of Harry's axioms about life.

"Why me?" Leah asks after the two sit in a companionable silence for a few minutes. Willow watching the sky go through its phases as Leah sits processing the information she's received. It's not that Willow was giving her anything new but there was just something about the whole situation and delivery that made it easier to accept and deal with in comparison to hearing it come from Sam Uley.

"Why you what?" Willow asks looking at Leah expectantly.

"Why did _I_ phase? Why did I become a wolf out of all of the other girls on the Rez? Why a girl at all?" Leah queries as her voice picks up an octave giving sign of her desperation, the old panic and reminiscent pain of the questions.

"That's a tough one," Willow says honestly with a deep look of concentration on her face.

"Meaning, you don't know why?" Leah prompts.

"No, I know why but explaining it to you will be the tough one." Willow says with a sigh. "But to be truthful, the reason why those who did phase did is simply because it was what you all wanted." Leah's eyes widen at the declaration, her mind and emotions swirling in a pool of confusion, anger, pride, mild acceptance and majority of rejection.

"Say what?" Leah asks, her eyes narrowed and muscles tensed.

* * *

"You asked for this – everyone did in some way, shape or form." His voice is a deep baritone that commands power, respect, authority and submission. Jacob glares at the spirit version of himself, the back of his mind enviously admiring the strength and power in the muscles of the body that he'd grown accustomed to. His 'human' body feels weak, impotent and vulnerable in comparison to the spirit warrior's. Mentally doing a checklist, Jacob can slightly see the reasoning behind the answer given. In his human form, Jacob Black is tall but not exceptionally so, with a lean and lanky build that holds toned muscles without the bulk of a feral and supernatural strength. He doesn't strike an intimidating figure but it doesn't mean he isn't impressive.

Growing up, before the accident, Billy had always seemed huge to Jacob, his huge, calloused and russet-colored hands looking like a baseball glove. Billy worked out to bulk up and rumors continued to swirl that back in his younger days, he did some modeling to help pay the bills and feed a set of twins when jobs were tight. Jacob wanted to be just like his daddy, big, strong, powerful and respected.

"After the accident that killed Sarah and later the diabetes that affected Billy's legs, you wanted to have the power to protect your loved ones. You wanted to fight and not simply sit on the sidelines watching everyone around die or fall about before your eyes." His spirit, Tai, says with arms crossed.

"You've succeeded up until Bella Swan showed up," Jacob raises an eyebrow as Tai growls angrily and aggressively at Bella's name, a look of disgust crossing his otherwise handsome features. "You fought _so_ hard to put her back together but it was a thankless scrimmage and losing battle. You couldn't save her from herself any more than you could've saved Harry from having his heart attack or Billy not taking his medicine. You can't win them all, Jacob, and because you refused to see this," Tai stops talking, his eyes softening for a moment before blinking the emotion away. "In order to protect everyone you were blessed with the gift of becoming a spirit warrior. Sarah always said '_be careful what you wish for'_."

"Because you just might get it." Jacob finishes up as Tai smirks darkly at him. There's a cloud of cynical humor mixed with irony in the air that neither men feel like addressing at the moment.

"So…" Jacob begins wanting to sort things out right in his head.

* * *

"…you're saying that because as a kid I wanted to look out for the tribe that equated to me becoming a giant canine?" Leah grumbles out angrily.

"Basically," Willow says with a shrug. "Look, not just _anyone_ can become a spirit warrior. It's take a lot of inner strength and a spirit already connected with the spirit realm on some level. Could there have been others? I don't know because it would mean being able to see into the soul of those around you – I can't do that." She says with a shake of her head. "But what I do know is that it proves that you are far stronger then you, Sue and even Harry ever thought possible. This isn't something that just _anyone_ can pick up and carry with them right out of the gate. Sam couldn't do it and because of that your relationship suffered, his identity suffered." Leah's ears perk at the mention of Sam and his time as a warrior alone.

Sam had given each of them a glimpse into his psyche during the first couple weeks of his phase: the confusion, fear, anger, sadness, feeling of loneliness and the self-loathing hatred for what he had become but from there things became a bit…hazy.

"Sam didn't trust himself around you, he tried to bring everything back to how they were before he phased…but…it wasn't possible. Things had been set in motion that…that he shouldn't have tried to mess with. He tried to do too much and because of that he went against one of his primary purposes which started a domino effect within the pack."

"So…you're saying that Sam should've left me alone?" Leah asks with a small frown. Honestly, she can admit that years ago had she been given this knowledge at the time, during her first few weeks of her phase, it would hurt – cut like a knife but now that she's older, more mature and past the pain, anger and indifference of Sam it's just a mild tug. A sensation that is worthy of acknowledgment but is later accepted as simply muscles spasm as they release tension.

"He had other priorities and because he could not and refused to accept or acknowledge them it brought about an imbalance. Chaos is brought about by mankind going against the proper order of things. Chaos doesn't exist in nature and what man _sees_ as chaos is simply an order that is too complex, profound and deep for man to wrap his mind around."

"To compensate for the chaos balance had to be restored which leads us into your other question after why you? Why imprint?" Leah's mouth falls open at the word spoken so freely and without bitterness from her own lips.

* * *

"Imprinting serves a purpose same as any other kind of emotion emoted by man." Tai states with a deep frown. Jacob can't help but wonder if every topic they were going to discuss was a sore spot for his spirit on some level or other. "Sam imprinted because he was more focused on Leah and making things right with her when he should've been focusing on protecting our territory and looking out for the others that would eventually join him."

"Jared was next and his focus wasn't on his duties."

* * *

"Paul," Willow continues on, "was not much different. He was always a bit…,"

"Of an ass?" Leah offers up with a smug smile.

"Pompous is what I was going to say but let's call a spade a spade." The two women smile at one another. "But he was also abusive of his talent. Sam had to alpha command him at every turn and _that_ was not the intention of the alpha command. Its purpose was to keep in line challenging members of the alpha or Black family bloodline – to distinguish them amongst their brothers. Not to be thrown out at every obstacle as Sam used it."

* * *

"So Paul imprinted to help keep his mood in check?" Jacob supplies and Tai nods his head. "Quil was probably not that far off either," Jacob mumbles to himself, his thoughts traveling back to the day that Quil phased. He had been so excited about finally finding out the truth and looked more like a puppy then Seth and Leah did who sat silently trying to wrap their minds around everything that had transpired. Once he gained control Quil had begun to flirt and hit on every woman and girl on the Rez from Makah, La Push and even Forks. He had become a Casanova, in his eyes, overnight and was looking forward to reaping the benefits of what his newfound body was offering up to the fairer sex.

"Sam's alpha command had its limitations in that…well…there's just some things that just can't be easily suppressed." Tai says with a knowing smirk. "Remember when Paul phased in front of Bella?" Jacob nods his head once thinking back on that day when Bella finally found out the truth about him and what was going on in La Push. "Sam _had_ used the alpha command but Paul's emotions of anger and disgust for her were too strong. He disclosed our tribe's secret to an outside, a pale face and lover of the Cold Ones. Quil was dancing on the same thin line thus making all them too much of a liability and in order to rein him in without breaking their spirits."

* * *

"They imprinted," Leah finishes up sitting down looking at her hands.

"And Jacob, why did he imprint?"

"Jacob imprinted simply out of necessity – protection." Willow whispers softly letting out a huff. "He was in a precarious situation – emotionally after Bella's heart stopped beating. He was devastated over the loss of her and the ideas and ideals he had built up around her. He didn't see any value in his own life and was gladly willing to die, to join her in death _after_ killing the creature that brought about her death."

* * *

"You see…despite your grand idea of eternal love and no longer being able to live in a world where _she_ wasn't, life always has another use for you. You hadn't fulfilled your purpose and could not let you die." Jacob looks up stunned as he plays over in his mind that fateful day – that moment that turned his whole world upside and cemented him to the ground. "Your role as alpha and chief had not been completed and so to keep _you_ and the others, Leah and Seth, safe something drastic had to occur to prevent you from making the biggest mistake of your life."

Jacob looks up as Tai's eyes darken and he glowers at him, a look of disdain, disgust and self-loathing welling up inside of him.

"That drastic measure was letting the wolf take over and thus you imprinted on Renesmee."

* * *

"So you see imprinting has its own purpose – rhyme and reason behind it. Same as any other type of love, it bonds individuals together, creates a carefully constructed unit that serve a finite purpose. In a way, one does lose the right to choose their love but then again how many people actually get to choose who they fall in love with?" Leah can't hide the blush that spreads across her cheek as Willow gives her a warm, soft, loving and knowing smile.

"I didn't choose to fall in love with him…it just happened." Leah admits.

"_But_ the main thing is that now you know imprinting _isn't_ about babies." Leah looks up at Willow with huge bright eyes. There's hope in her words – not confidence or conviction but hope nonetheless.

"You don't know whether or not I'll be able to have children, do you?" Leah asks wanting to remove the dark cloud from over her. There was relief in knowing that she was non-imprint worthy because she missed out on her monthly menses – it gave her a bit of self-confidence and self-worth back.

"I don't know any more than some other random woman. As I said before I'm limited in my knowledge and truly only know what you know but on a deeper level." Willow offers up with a small smile. "Who's to say that when the time and the right man comes along that you won't? You'd have to go visit a doctor for that but I can say this – that just because you do not go through the usual ovulation as a normal female doesn't mean that you can't. You're _not_ a normal female and because of that your body may handle things differently."

"Like gymnasts who don't have their periods because of all of their training." Leah says repeating some of Sue's own words.

"Yea, exactly, but we both know that you're not _desperately_ in need of getting pregnant." Willow chuckles as Leah's face blanches and she quickly shakes her head. "So let's just cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime don't worry about something that may not even be an issue and a woman's worth is dependent upon more things than whether or not she can bear some guy children."

"Okay…so what about control?" Leah asks. "I feel as if ever since I phased that I have no control over my life. That I'm at the mercy of the wolf and all the responsibilities that comes with it."

"What _don't_ you have control over?" Willow asks reclining back onto the grass, her long limbs stretching out and a groan of relief following afterwards. The question gives Leah need for pause as she begins to think over it. "Jacob let you build the patrolling schedule and since the attack John hasn't asked you to bother. Or maybe it's over college? You don't get to go to college and you've lost that control? No, you're in college now and…oh! Jacob _said_ you couldn't go, right?" Willow looks on as Leah slowly shakes her head.

"I couldn't afford it and I wanted Seth to go more."

"Control and self-significance is something that all humans desire, Leah. When things seem out of control or out of your hands it isn't always because _you_ can't do anything about it. Sometimes it requires you stopping, taking a second to assess the situation and realizing that things _don't_ have to be this way. Your emotions were within your own control if you had taken a moment to reflect – granted you weren't given that as Sam and Emily jumped on the chance to be back in your life. But you are, for the most part, in control of you and your own choices in life. Some are made based upon an emotional outburst, a spontaneous whim but in the end you are still held accountable for yourself."

"Now you have put yourself in a far better position where you can focus on you and only you. I'd not waste if I was you." As Leah processes Willow's words there's a sense of a slowly rising epiphany and enlightenment. She can't help but feel a bit of resentment and disappointment within herself, the knowledge seeming so simple and obvious but in the end she knows that she's just being hard on herself. "So go out and see the world Leah, don't just settle for the first hot guy that comes along." Leah looks over at Willow who has now rolled over to her stomach; her feet pointed towards the sky and crisscrossed looking every bit of an older sister or best friend preparing to give her own loving advice. "I mean don't get me wrong, he is gorgeous as alphas tend to be, for some strange reason, but live your life some. What do you want to do with it? At the end of this journey what do you want to have accomplished?"

Leah sits quietly thinking over the question posed to her. Willow was right in that now she had the opportunity to live her life how she saw fit. There were still so many other questions that she had that needed to be answer. Willow didn't have all the answers no more than she did but somewhere out there someone did. Someone had to know if she was the only female shape shifter – ever, if she wasn't if she could have children and if the legends that she heard about all the other forms of skin walkers truly existed.

"You'll never find the answers by just staying in one place." Willow tacks on sitting up, her gaze focused elsewhere as seeing something off in the distance.

* * *

"So is this why the imprints are weakening?" Jacob asks with a small frown.

"The imprints now are beginning to contradict our primary purpose which is to protect the tribe." Tai answers with a sigh. "The imprinted wolves were meant to _stop_ phasing and thus leaving room for a new generation of warriors to step up and take their spot. However, everyone still continued to phase as the Cullens never left." Jacob looks away feeling guilt and shame as Tai glares at him. The Cullens would've left the day Bella woke up had Jacob not intervened and brought Charlie into the mix.

"I don't completely blame you as it was a decision made simply to allow us to fulfill our primary purpose in life: to protect." Tai admits nodding his head. "But the primary reason for the weakening, outside of the contradiction, is that the need is evolving. We are no longer dealing with passing vampires. As you already witnessed these two leeches figured out that we have a limitation on our territory. Fortunately, they have not figured out _why_ we're limited but it puts the tribe and Forks at risk. Also, with Leah gone it puts us at a major disadvantage speed-wise, Leah as the fastest and could've helped flanked them but she's not here so evolution requires a change in plans."

"I don't – that is I no longer feel as strongly about Renesmee as I did before." Jacob breathes out, his brow furrowing thinking how over the last six years his whole life has revolved around her and her happiness. There was nothing that he could or would deny her and a hint of guilt ripples up his spine recalling her battered and bruised face the last time he saw her.

"You'll still care about her." It's a statement that brings both worry and relief with it. "Everyone will still care about their imprints. The bonds shared and developed will change but never fade. I guess all love has a limit unless it's parental and I'm guessing that Renesmee pretty much danced on that line when she tried to send the leeches after Leah." Jacob's eyes narrow at the reminder of the moment Renesmee stopped being his Nessie. "But you're concerned about Rachel, Kim and Emily,"

"They have kids – a family,"

"Well…I don't know what will become of them but from what I can see it would seem that Rachel and Paul are in a better place. Maybe it's because they argue more." Tai can only shrug his shoulders not really understanding what the two had that the others lacked. Somehow the pair's relationship seemed more 'normal' in that they did disagree more, Paul stood up to Rachel more and Rachel, unlike Emily, didn't shy away from Paul's temper. Rachel had left Paul for a weekend having kidnapped Leah to then have the pair return forcing Jacob, Leah and Billy to sit back and watch the pair make amends amongst tears and whimpers.

"It will be a test of what they've built up over the years – it's up to them whether or not their relationship can stand the test of time. The blinders will be removed and the wolves will start to see their imprints for what they are. It's no longer rose-tinted lenses but the truth. Nobody's perfect and maybe it'll do everyone some good to see the dark side."

Jacob sits letting the words fill him up like a sieve, the liquid overflowing and spilling out as he tries to hold it all in and process everything. He's torn between feelings of guilt and relief, guilt that because of his own selfish desires that he has torn his pack apart, drawn a wedge between family, friends and loved ones. Relief that in the end, he does have control over his life and that he can choose not just who to love but how to love them, that he is still capable of making mistakes which was a simple part of being human.

He's never been a real spiritual or religious person, Billy having given up his faith the moment Sarah's heart stopped beating and the doctors' walked in to deliver the bad news to him and later his children and lobby full of family and friends. Sue still felt that Jacob and the twins had to go and took them regularly on Sunday mornings, piling them all into her car or the truck bed if the weather was nice. He recalled that Leah seemed to have some sort of spiritual enlightenment when the teens had to participate in a fast – he didn't but he now, suddenly, vaguely remembers the look upon her face when she achieved it. It wasn't just in her face but in her entire persona – aura – and for that short period of time Leah Clearwater seemed so much more than just the seventeen year old girl that she was.

"That was Leah getting in touch with her spirit, Willow," Tai says pulling Jacob from his thoughts. As Jacob looks up at him does he realize that wasn't his own memory but Tai's. There was a feeling of adoration for Leah at the time that was when he developed his crush for her.

"We are one and the same so we both want the same thing, right?" Jacob asks with a frown trying to understand how everything had spiraled out of control.

"For the most part but we've not been totally synched up since the death of our mother." Tai whispers and there's a sadness in his eyes that Jacob recognizes as his pain, his own pain, the pain that he has kept hidden away for the last five years. That pain had been passed on or carried by his spirit. "You lost your faith and thereby gave up your belief in spirits that severed our connection. You became solely dependent upon yourself and began living your own life. This isn't abnormal as hundreds upon tens of thousands of people do it every day. The difference being is that your spirit possessed the ability to awaken only when it was necessary. I'm not just a spirit but a natural defense mechanism – it's my job to protect you and unlike other spirits I'm not just limited to the spiritual realm of communicating to your heart and mind when you finally give up control but physically as well."

"Bella wasn't good for you and I tried to make you see that but you refused – refused to listen to me, Sam, Leah and your own common sense. You saw what she was doing to you – hurting you time and time again. But you were a glutton for it. You wanted to save her so badly and so desperately that no one else had the heart to try and stop you. Embry and Quil never said anything but Bella had become your Sarah." Jacob's eyes widen at Tai's words, the truth seeming to rush to the forefront of his mind and no longer sitting tucked away in a dark corner. "The only problem was that Bella _never_ wanted to be saved. She didn't _want_ to live and the more you held onto the belief that you could save someone who didn't want it the more it dragged you down."

"It's like they say you never want to try and pull a panicking drowning victim out of the water unless you're a trained professional – well, this was no different. You weren't prepared or even equipped to deal with Bella and she wound up pulling you under with her and because of that you took the rest of the pack with you as well."

"If I hadn't bothered then that'd mean that Leah would've been,"

"You're asking about fate." Tai interjects with a deep frown on his face. "The only things fated in this life are: you grow old, make stupid mistakes, make smart moves and then you die. I can't say whether or not Leah was _meant_ to be ours or not. I know what I would like – love but…if there's anything I've learned from being in the physical realm is that nothing is ever fated but death. The chances of me coming to the physical world is that there are so many other factors at work here that the only thing that can be achieved is one's own purpose. That purpose changes from person-to-person. Ours is pretty much spelled out:"

"To be the chief of our tribe," Jacob supplies.

"For the most part but how you achieve that purpose is up to you." Tai can't help but smirk at Jacob as if knowing some secret.

"And Leah?"

"Leah's purpose, from what I know, is the same as the rest of us: to protect our people from the threat of Cold Ones. She's fulfilled that purpose, we all have but now we are being called to do it again."

"The Volturri,"

"That's right. Had things gone the way they were supposed to what a definite is that they never would've known of our presence."

"I've done this. I've brought this war down upon our tribe."

"The blame isn't yours alone because the Cullens also knew the risk that they were taking in accepting your help."

"It wouldn't have mattered. I still would've helped to protect Renesmee."

"Which comes back full circle to you and Bella," Tai grumbles before sitting down on the ground, his massive body causing the earth beneath Jacob to tremble. Ever since the two met Tai had been an imposing figure, looming over Jacob, exerting his dominance and control over him. It was humbling and a relief to see him finally let up, relinquishes his control and could only assume that the two had been battling for control for so long that he had somehow finally worked it out of his system or with Jacob's acceptance that they needed to work together was willing to put him on equal footing.

"Will I get to see Leah again?" Jacob asks after a couple minutes of silence. Ever since awakening to the fact that Leah wasn't there for him has done nothing more but have her constantly on his mind. For that entire year before and after his phase, Jacob Black had convinced himself that Bella Swan was his best friend when in actuality she never was. Friends reciprocate and help one another out, Bella had never offered Jacob any help, and all she had ever done was take-take-take. Even when she confronted Sam about his strange behavior it was only because _she_ was affected and couldn't see Jacob anymore – not because she genuinely loved him.

Leah, much like the rest of the pack, had become his best friends. Leah was a bitch at the time and bitter but she still looked out for everyone else, stood up against Sam when she felt that something wasn't right towards the pack. She quietly and stubbornly kept her hurt and angst feelings over Sam and Emily to herself, her memories and desires slipping out at inappropriate moments same as everyone else. But she understood him and backed him up – she was a better friend to him than he was to her in the end and he wants to make it up to her. And maybe finally realize what was in his heart.

"That depends," Tai answers evasively.

"On what?"

"You, her,"

"Meaning?"

"You can tell her what is going on and you know that Leah will come back running." Jacob nods his head in agreement knowing for a fact that Leah would fly, run or hitchhike to get back to the Rez if she caught wind of any danger. "Or…you can wait and see if she comes back on her own."

"Meaning you don't know if she'll come back." Jacob says feeling his shoulders slump at the uncertainty of the matter.

"Leah has her own purpose now. I – I can feel it," Tai says giving Jacob a hopeful and expectant look that either he understand or can somehow sense the same thing.

"She's here too now, isn't she?" Jacob asks feeling the same pull that urged him to do his spirit quest right away. He feels a smile spread across his face as Tai nods his head, his face showing both a smile of happiness and worry. "Can – can I see her here?"

Leah sits staring up at the sky, the color forever changing from a natural sky blue to a purple and pink hue and even orange and red. It's a beauty that she feels the need to share with someone and the desire makes her miss her daddy, Jacob, Seth, the pack and even Sam.

"You have a visitor," Willow says quickly standing up and walking away. Before Leah can question her on whether or not this 'visitor' was because she was feeling homesick or something else – she's gone.

Looking around Leah feels her heart skip a beat as she looks over and sees a male figure standing at the far end of the meadow.

Leah looks amazed at the man standing before her. There is a hint of disappointment because she had hoped to see her father here, to hear him say that he has forgiven her for killing him – absolving her of her guilt and sin. Yet there is an even larger feeling of happiness and relief in seeing Jacob Black now after all of this time. He's shorter, hair is longer and his body no longer possesses the muscle mass that she's grown accustomed to associating with him and the status that comes with being the Alpha but there are still muscles. When he finally sees her, their eyes lock for a moment and she hopes her cheeks aren't flushing visibly enough for him to see. The moment his smile spreads across his face lighting up the entire area is when Leah feels the burst of excitement that propels her running towards Jacob, arms opened and a giggled 'Almighty Alpha' after.

There's always been something freeing and intimate about this greeting and now as she wraps her arms around his neck, crushing their bodies together does it feel even more profound. She is completely oblivious of Jacob's backpedaling as he tries to regain his footing but he chuckles anyway. Each bury their face in the other's neck, greedily inhaling a scent that is barely there in their more normal and human bodies.

"Hey, Beautiful Beta," Jacob greets warmly as Leah begins to roughly rub her cheek against his. It is a very lupine greeting that they are unable to shake and yet it feels appropriate as it is their wolf spirits that have brought them together.

Time passes so differently here and Jacob isn't sure if it's because he's finally with Leah, free of the imprint blinders and of the love he once held for Bella Swan or if it's the world around him. The two slip into a casual and comfortable conversation talking about anything and everything except about the pack and the imprints. It doesn't bother Jacob because whenever he and Leah did spend time in the past the last thing they ever talked about was the world that consumed their everyday lives.

He tries to fight back his jealousy as the conversation somehow shifts to the new life that Leah has carved out for herself, with a new pack she happened upon up in Canada. He frowns feeling his muscles tense and a low growl of anger rumble deep within every time Leah mentions _John_, the man's name falling from her lips like a prayer – like he was God's gift to the world – to _her_. It's the same, old familiar hatred that he once held for Edward Cullen but somehow it feels weaker, less intense and he's uncertain if it's because it's hard for him to hate someone he's never seen or known or maybe because John is a much safer suitor than Edward was.

_He won't kill her._

Jacob can feel his anger boiling to the top but he fights to keep it in check – he doesn't want to ruin this moment that he has with Leah by suddenly becoming possessive, aggressive and angry. Experience has taught him that Leah will react in kind and will dish it out even worst then she received it.

"Can you talk about _anything_ else besides this John?" Jacob growls silencing Leah. Letting out a heavy huff of air Jacob knows it's…ironic of him to complain considering how much time Leah has spent having to hear about everyone else's imprints and the moment she finds some boy to like he can't handle it. He can feel her eyes on him, burning through the wall he's put in place to help keep his jealousy and feelings of rejection at bay. Of course, she, of all people, would be able to see through the wall, the smoke and mirrors and he's not sure whether to feel relieved or hurt that she ignores the obvious answer.

"I suppose I deserve that." Leah says with a soft sigh. "All those times I've snapped at you and everyone else when they began to prattle on about their imprints." The analogy brings a small frown to Leah's face. John was far from being her imprint but she did like, cared about him, but she could see what her spirit was talking about. She had already become so emotionally attached to him and it was too soon. She hadn't left home to find a boyfriend but find out about herself, learn who she was, what she was meant to do and _after_ she found her answers could she then seriously consider what she wanted in a…life partner, husband, mate?

"I don't feel about him like that – like you and the rest feel about your imprints." Leah suddenly feels the need to explain. She's pleasantly pleased with the growth she's made over the last few months spent away from La Push. The 'Old Leah' would've gone off on Jacob for getting snappy with her just because she was telling him about those in her life. It was nice to know that the short-tempered Leah had somewhat grown into a not-quite-so-short-tempered Leah. She wasn't even going to start lying to herself, trying to believe that she now had the patience of a saint because there had been a slight shiver of anger when Jacob interrupted her. Somehow, she just knew that now wasn't the time or place to unleash those emotions.

"Lee," Jacob breathes out pulling her closer. She can feel the warmth of his body, the steady and yet quickened pace of his heartbeat against her shoulder blade. Her own heart races feeling his warmth breathe caress the side of her neck and shoulder. Hormones and unrequited feelings of love slowly trying to betray her but she knows this is neither the time or place for that either. This was a place of peace, security and enlightenment and not…home.

"I know why you're here," Leah states resting her hand on top of Jacob's, his breath hitches and mentally he cheers for joy, his face burying into the back of Leah's neck. Its confirmation that the two know each other so well – she knows what he wants to say to her, how he feels about her just as he knows the same about her. "It's my chance to say good-bye."

_Wait…what?_

Leah looks back over her shoulder with sad eyes and a weak smile as Jacob pulls back from her as if he had been burnt. There's a friction building between them, a subtle warning that both are aware of, but uncertain about how to proceed, how the other will react. Things have changed; the individual experiencing a drastic growth without the other making them familiar strangers.

"I never got to say good-bye the first time." Leah says breaking the tense moment of silence between them. "I'd lie if I said that I regret not saying it…officially."

"Leah," Jacob growls out. A small part of him registers that he has emitted a low growl, a sign that he and his spirit have united again.

"I think it was for the best that I left the way I did, when I did. You wouldn't have let me leave."

"You're damn right I wouldn't have let you leave. To go where, Leah? Huh? To find some small measly pack of,"

"I found out that we're not alone, Jacob." Leah butts in her own wolf growling back at the challenge. They were no longer Alpha and Beta but two separate wolves, a man and a woman each in search of something. They were no longer on the same road or page in life. "Jake, _we_ aren't alone in the world in the world." Leah repeats her eyes sparkling with the hope and dawning novelty of the concept. It was information that she hadn't shared with anyone from her old pack but it felt good to finally tell someone – to share it with Jacob.

"We were never alone, Lee," Jacob whispers out, his eyes searching Leah for some hint of an opening – a weakness in her stubborn resolve. "We've always had each other." A corner of his mouth lifts up in a small smile as Leah smiles warmly back up at him at his words.

"I was _always_ alone, Jacob." Leah states standing up. "I need to do this Jacob and…for some strange reason…I don't feel…I don't feel as if I can do this without telling you."

It's an ironic situation the pair has found themselves in. Leah Clearwater never asked Jacob Black for permission. Even when he didn't want her in his pack, she didn't ask to stay – she reasoned with him. Told him she couldn't go back to following under Sam, that she was staying to look after her little brother and that she'd not get in his way – be less of a nuisance than Paul. It had been a decision he has never regretted.

Questions plague him as he looks down at the woman who has, truly, been his best friend. The woman, who has stood by his side, supported his decisions and challenged him to rethink them. Could he really just let her walk away from him? There was a possibility that once he let her go, that she'd never return. Billy's old muttered grumblings of '_give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile'_ suddenly seems a very real truth at the moment.

"Look, when I first phased, I – I was rooting for you and Bella." Leah says as Jacob slowly shakes his head. She can't help but chuckle at his surprised expression because she had the exact same one after her opinion changed. "I couldn't help but see and feel how much you loved Bella. She was everything to you and you were willing to fight for her – fight to have something with her. But then I saw what she was doing to you, how she treated you." Leah feels a heated shiver run up and down her spine followed with the hairs on the back of her neck stand up on end and her muscles clench thinking back on how Bella Swan treated her friend. "She used you and took you for granted. I wanted you to let her go – to stop loving her because if you could do it then it meant that I could too. You were my big red hope."

The two share a small smile at the little joke and Jacob can't help but pull Leah towards him in a tight hug.

"I've supported you Jacob because I could see that you truly believed in every decision that you made. It's one of the things that I've always loved about you. So…please, just this once, support me in mine."

Jacob's chest clenches, his breathe hitching and his arms encircling around Leah tighter at her whispered request. It's such a simple request but as Leah wraps her arms around his waist, her face nuzzling into this chest he can't find the strength to give her what she wants. With eyes closed Jacob tries to find the courage to do what he knows is right, knows what he should do for the one pack mate that has suffered the most.

"Please, Jacob," Leah whispers out and Jacob feels tears begin to fall from his eyes as Leah's wet his chest.

"I can't Leah, I need you – I need you to come home." He pleads softly. He knows that they won't mean much since Leah has made up her mind but the spirit is gone, the wolf having left to allow the human side of him to deal with these emotions.

"No, you don't," Leah hiccups out holding onto him tighter, willing her tears to dry up while at the same time torn between the joy of knowing that her Alpha wants her, misses her and needs her in his life and the despair knowing that it's all just empty words. "You don't need me, you have Nessie – _she's_ all that you'll ever need. I need to do this, Jacob," Leah pushes on not wanting to her Jacob's counterargument. "I don't know who I am."

He wants to tell her who she is, that she's Leah Clearwater, his Beta, his best friend and the strongest woman that he knows but he knows that won't be enough. Leah always hated being defined by the pack as a whole, having lost her identity when Sam ran away with Emily and she became consumed with pain, anger, betrayal, hatred, self-loathing and pity.

It's a tearful good-bye between the two, Jacob giving Leah his permission to go off on her own journey, to find an answer to any and every question she's had about herself since the day Harry died. Even as he comes back to the physical plane the tears are still falling thinking back on his decision and what it means for him. Promises were made: she to return to La Push and he will be there waiting for her.

It's one of the most unselfish decisions he's made in his life – since becoming a wolf. It's an epiphany that is just now hitting him as he looks around at the world around him; the colors seem even brighter and more resplendent than before. He feels taller and more powerful than when he broke away from Sam's pack all those years ago and he tries to remember if there was a possibility that is how he was supposed to have felt when he reunited the packs.

He'd passed on becoming Alpha of the pack because he didn't want the responsibilities and headache that came with the position. It would've meant not seeing Bella as often, setting an example for the others. Even the split from the pack was for his own selfish reason: to somehow convince Bella that he was worth more than Edward Cullen. Asking Sam's pack to help make a stand against the Volturri was to simply protect his imprint and even Leah. He didn't trust himself to be able to watch over her if it did come down to a fight with the Volturri and so put everyone else at risk. He knows that there would be some who would argue with him, telling him that he wasn't being selfish but he realizes now that it's just a part of human nature.

Standing up Jacob quickly dries his eyes a deep frown settling in upon his face as he tries to ignore the old, familiar pang of rejection. He has given Leah her freedom, the one thing that they've all held onto selfishly because if every boy in the pack had to suffer the loss of choice and freedom then so did the sole girl.

Jacob is uncertain about what the choice will hold for him the long run. It will require him to trust his pack more, to be more open to what they have to say and not blame _them_ for something that he is just as guilty, it not more so, for. The imprint has been broken and the thought of telling Leah that had crossed his mind but at the end of the day it wouldn't answer any of the questions she had. Heading back towards La Push Jacob prays that Leah has a safe journey, that she finds the answers she's been looking for. They both have a road that they must travel alone and deep down inside he knows that their paths will cross again. He just hopes that her feelings for him haven't dwindled by then.

* * *

A/N: Alright so here goes the next update to Wake-up Call. Again I'm sorry that it's taken so long to get it out but I've been working on this off and on since October 5th, playing around with different ideas of how to have things go, where to proceed and what emotions to convey. So, I feel that Wake-up Call has finally hit it's peak so this is actually the last chapter. There will be an Epilogue that I have already written the first part for and hopefully can find my notes to polish it off. I cannot make any promises on my update schedule as there's Christmas shopping, work, preschooler sports and extra-curricular activities. I will also start studying for my GRE since I'm going back to school for a Masters in Developmental Psychology and for a Masters, here in the states, it means I need money to cover books and tuition - not to mention that depending upon the classes I'll either be moving to another city or partaking in a 3-hr commute.

I do want to say thanks to everyone for all the reviews and especially to those of you who happened to stumble upon stories considering how it's been months since I updated. You have no idea how excited I get whenever I get a random review. ^_^ So I've not forgotten about my stories and I am working on them but life and...honestly, Cityville and Castleville makes it hard to find the time. So you all work that magic that you do and I'll keep on trying to work my own.

Oh! Karma at work: I see a little boy get off the school bus doing the infamous 'pee-pee' dance shuffling down the street while shedding his backpack, winter coat, and button-up sweater. I chuckled so hard and even posted it on Facebook BUT what I neglected to mention was that karma tagged along and I wound up doing the same thing after getting caught in rush hour traffic for an hour. So...yea...don't laugh at that kid because it may turn around and happen to you. I can, BOLDLY, say that I at least made it to the porcelain throne. Hehehehe.


	28. Epilogue

Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters but all OCs belong to moi. **

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Renesmee sits in the middle of the white couch, her parents flanking her on either side as the rest of her family either sit or stand in the living room. Charlie's announcement has brought about a sense of discord to the home. But Renesmee knows that that comment is even an unfair assessment as it is really the vision of the Volturri becoming involved in their lives again. She vaguely remembers the last time the Volturri showed up and what she did know was because Jacob and Seth told her of it whenever she asked. There was something empowering, uplifting about knowing that the Volturri not only feared but respected her family. Because of her parents' importance and power it bestowed Renesmee with a feeling of being invincible. And then having Jacob and his wolves seemed to be her own extra special power – a power that no one else could wield.

She's never thought much of it but Jacob and Seth brought a hint of…humanity with them. Both boys were always warm, fun and inviting. Their mannerisms were natural, fluid and graceful even when they were blundering around like a herd of moose. Her family seemed to act more human whenever they were around, actually remembering to breathe, letting their chests rise and fall with each breath, brush an imaginary stray hair out of their face, or to even simply sniff or brush a finger across their nose during the wintertime. These were all traits that they had picked up while hanging around the wolves. Even Leah had shown Renesmee how to scratch and stretch, all simple and mundane human subconscious movements that when she was little seemed so wonderful, new and unique compared to her own family.

Yes, once upon a time she, Renesmee Carlie Cullen, looked up to Leah Clearwater as she had a beauty and way about her that Renesmee envied and wanted to emulate. She had expressions that were foreign to her young and quickly developing mind. Her lips turned down, her brow furrowed and lips pulled back in a snarl while in the next moment her whole face could warm and brighten up. No one in her family exhibited such a mastery over varying emotions and because of that Leah Clearwater was the most worldly-knowledgeable person that she knew.

That was all until her body started to change, hormones began to kick in and social interactions became more important to her; especially 'special' interaction. She had been told that she was Jacob's imprint and finally learned what that entailed through observations of the rest of the wolves and their imprints. It was purely romantic with the exception of Quil and Claire but it was only a matter of time before Claire and Quil both would feel the change in their bond and no longer be brother and sister but lovers.

From there Renesmee watched Leah Clearwater around Jacob more carefully and closely; noticing how her heart would race whenever he was around, how he'd smile just a little bit differently whenever the two hugged, how both of their cheeks would color when they were together. It was almost as if each brought a bit of life to the other and implications of that thought hurt Renesmee – deeply. It confounded her how Jacob, her Jacob, could look more lively when that woman was around and the moment she stepped out of the equation that life would drain out of him, almost die instantly.

The admiration that she once held for Leah Clearwater was replaced with hatred, jealous and, now after everything that has happened, insecurity. Leah was a threat to what Fate had deemed was the perfect mate for Jacob Black. Renesmee hated how Leah brought out a different side in the rest of the wolves that she couldn't. The wolves were stiff, polite and wary around her family even after so many years – as if they were wound just a tad bit tightly and the rubber band was straining to snap at any given moment. Seth cursed when he was around Leah – they all did. Jacob enjoyed getting his hands dirty, they had belching contests and did other things that her family either didn't approve of or that she felt disgusting and beneath her.

Maybe that is where she went wrong. Maybe instead of keeping Jacob away from Leah and the pack, she should've allowed him to continue to interact with them but what was the point when they would be leaving soon? Renesmee didn't have any desire to stay in Forks and especially not in La Push. The town was poverty-stricken and its main streets consisted of actually two paved roads by the bay. The houses were small – quaint, clean and cozy but poorly furnished and everyone looked dirty to her. There were a few white people amongst the Quileute population but even their skin seemed to pick up the slightest dirt and salt in the air, leaving it to collect on their cheeks that both ruddy and darkened them. She also, the older she became, couldn't stand the stench of the entire pack as a whole. They smelled more like wet dogs in La Push then they did in the forest or simply passing them by in Forks. The sea air fell on their skin, moistened the hair on their heads and penetrated their skin which was covered in tiny follicles of coarse fur. No, they wouldn't have stayed in La Push – someone else would have to become the new chief and Alpha of the pack.

During the beating that she suffered at the hands of Abby, the older girl had called her selfish among a few other horrible, nasty and vulgar words that had never been said in her presence and especially never directly at her. Has it been her selfishness that has drawn this wedge between her and Jacob? Was there really a chance that he would hurt her? Could it possibly happen?

Yes, yes there was a chance.

Anything could happen in the real world and she had crossed the gilded threshold of her birdcage, stepped out into the cold, cruel and ugly world, bargained with the devil and lost. Her punishment was a beating that may have caused her eyes to swell shut and yet at same time open them. The world wasn't perfect and neither was her family. There were others out that there that didn't adore and admire her and her family. There were people who mistrusted them either because of their wealth and appearance or because they knew what they really were. Money, pretty clothes and her looks couldn't save her and listening to Carlisle talk about calling up their old friends again and sensing the family's uneasiness at the task seems to only solidify it.

"The Denalis may be the only ones willing to back us up with no questions asked." Rosalie speaks up with a deep frown on her face.

"Yes, everyone else was hesitant to become involved in the first place. This time it isn't a matter of explaining our situation." Alice states with a deep frown as her eyes drift to Renesmee and back down to the floor. "The Volturri believe that we are using the wolves as guard dogs, to kill vampires and any rivals for our territory."

"But we're not!" Bella exclaims. "They consciously made that decision on their own – we had nothing to do with it."

"None of that matters, Bella," Rosalie sneers, her lips curling up into a snarl as Bella snarls back at her sister-in-law. "The Volturri don't care and it's going to be hard convincing any of their witnesses of the same thing. Last time they were here _we_ were upfront with the wolves behind us in a secondary and as some would see it submissive role."

"And Aro is very much well aware that Jacob and Renesmee are – or rather, were imprinted on one another." Jasper states coldly. "We can't be sure how much understanding of the imprint that he gleamed from Edward when they touched but it's to be certain that he will still believe that the bond holds and thus our connection holds."

Renesmee frowns at the whole exchange a part of her following along but still unable to fully grasp the whole picture. She knew that the Volturri were coming but Aro did not seem like a bad person when they first met, frightening – yes, but not dangerous compared to the Amazons and the strange wolves.

"But we still must reach out to them. If anyone can help explain the situation it will be everyone that has interacted with Seth and Jacob _before_ this sudden turn of events." Esme speaks up backing her husband's suggestion.

"Edward, I think its best," Carlisle says smiling sweetly at his granddaughter, "that you, Bella and Renesmee head up to Alaska to ask the Denali coven for their assistance." Edward simply nods his head, his eyes cast down on the white carpet at his feet.

From there the rest of the Cullens' allies are split up amongst the rest of the family and Renesmee gives a soft good bye to her grandparents, uncles and aunts as they rush out the door to begin the search. For a moment, there's an awkward tension in the room as Bella and Edward both find either the floor or their hands to be the most interesting object. Neither says anything and Renesmee feels at a loss of what to say to her parents, wasn't this the kind of moment where one or both of them should speak up offering words of wisdom and comfort? But she knew that was foolhardy and wishful thinking. Her mother was only twenty-four years old and had spent the last six years of her life as a rich wife, listening to her husband compose music, watch her daughter sprout like a weed before her eyes and exhibit no interest in any hobby that didn't include Edward. Her father had changed overnight after losing his power; teetering between moods of acceptance, anger, denial and confusion. Not having the whole world clearly spelled out before him has begun to have a more negative toll then what everyone had originally anticipated – the uncertainty of one's thoughts, ideas and plans seemed to bother Edward more and more. Or simply that he has been blindsided by every decision made since the loss of his power, he was no longer in the know, no longer a major player but a second or third party obtaining and processing information at the same time as everyone else.

Renesmee can't help but chuckle at the irony of the whole situation. A mere two weeks ago the three of them felt like king, queen and princess of the Cullen family each possessing some power that no one else had: telepathy, mental shield and wolves. Now – now they were just a trio of confused and frightened teenagers that didn't know how to deal with the sudden emotional and physical changes that were occurring.

Standing up Renesmee hisses out in pain, her skin tightening over the still healing bruises and ignoring her parents' looks of concern begins to head outside to their cottage.

"I'm going to pack some things for the trip." Renesmee states without bothering to look back. What would be the point – in looking back? Neither of them would have anything to say that would make her feel better; neither understanding what it is like to lose the perfect man for you and then being beaten for their arrogance.

* * *

Abby quirks an eyebrow in interest as the Volturri inform her and Chris of the Cullens' influence within the vampric world. She can't help but smirk knowing from the beginning that the spoiled half-vampire princess was full of pomp, arrogance, lace, glitter and a self-righteous attitude about her and her coven that it was amazing she hadn't floated away into the planet's atmosphere. The Cullens were far from being a favorite to the Volturri and with their bold-faced stand against the royal family some years ago it made them a political and cultural threat.

Word had spread quickly of the Cullens' newest addition amongst the more well-known and established covens of the world. There were low murmurings and whisperings of the child; born of a human mother with a vampire father. A child that would reach full maturity in six to seven years, who could drink blood and partake of mortal food, an immortal child possessing the beauty and lacking the strength of the originally banned immortal child. It didn't take long for other covens to try their luck at obtaining such a child which meant more and more women were being kidnapped, raped and/or seduced, impregnated and then killed after the birth. The hybrid numbers had increased from four known cases to well over fifty known births within the last six years.

The hybrids were slowing become a cause for concern as the boys were venomous which made their feeding a bit more tricky then the females. Rumors were abounding across Europe of vampires again, beautiful young teens and children luring sex-crazed and drugged out peers into dark alleyways to only be found hours later either stone-cold dead, dehydrated, emaciated with the only signs of some sort of conflict or assault are odd teeth marks that have broken the skin. Fortunately, thus far, the stories and incidents have been chalked up to a clan of extremist vampires; mortals who believe in vampires and participate in romanticizing and fantasizing about the 'culture' and even a few had taken responsibility for the attacks. However, it did not tone down the fact that the hybrids were becoming dangerous liabilities to the vampire secret.

"So as you can see," Aro says coolly with a big and sinister smile on his face, "that the Cullens have become quite the incendiary coven over the last few years. They see themselves as being above the law and thus, sadly, due to our poor planning, have been able to get away with the rape and murder of 'innocent' women all for the sake of other vampires 'pretending' to be families." There is a chuckle amongst the guards as if finding the idea of vampires playing 'house' is humorous. Abby can't help but find the idea childish as well as becoming a vampire meant the loss of one's rights; right to attend school, to move about in broad daylight and having a family. The dynamics of the twin sisters had changed drastically once they awoke to this strange new world. The sibling co-dependency that they once shared was null-and-void and the only thing that had kept them together were the slowly fading memories of a shared childhood.

"And when you add in the danger that the Cullens' dogs have wrought as well – well, it is plain to see that the Cullens are obviously becoming too powerful for their own good." Aro finishes up.

"The Cullens and the wolves must be dealt with." Caius states in a slow, long and drawn out type of speech.

"Oh, yes, of course," Aro agrees quickly with his brother.

"But, it still puts us at a disadvantage as the two did not manage to grab the predictor's gift." Marcus adds stiffly, his eyes staring a hole through Abigail.

"There is a workaround that problem," Chris states breaking the silence the two vampires have held since their initial introduction. "The seeress, known as Alice, cannot see anything involving the wolves. _Our_ grievance and vendetta are with the wolves and if the Cullens still wish to ally themselves with our enemy then that will not deter us."

"After all, the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Abby adds with a dark smirk. She ignores the quick side glance Chris throws in her direction. There is no doubt in his mind that he is fully aware of Abigail's thoughts on the Cullens. The 'older' vampires were just as guilty in the death of Gabriella as the wolves especially if they could see them hunting in the woods and chose to ignore their presence and inevitably their plight. The Cullens, with their affluence, gifts and familial bonds, felt that they were above everything in the world. She completely agreed with Aro that they were a coven to be dealt with. Vampires and humans could not live side-by-side together because the thirst would be too great and eventually the food source would run out if _everyone_ saw vampirism as the solution to all of their problems like Bella Swan did. The Cullens way of life was bound to have consequences and it was clear now, after this meeting, what they fully were.

"So we will join with your guards Aro and hunt down the Cullens most powerful allies." Chris states having picked up the thought of the Volturri.

"You are hoping that your intent will cloud the girl's mind? Excellent." Aro says barely able to contain his giddiness and excitement.

"And if not, chances are that the Cullens will rush to their allies' aid." Caius finishes up with the same long, drawn out and bored speech pattern.

* * *

Leah awakens from her spirit quest with tears still falling from her eyes. There is a bittersweet feeling to the good bye she gave Jacob that is chalked up to her own personal attachment to the man, a desire that somehow became real when she was mentally and emotionally at her weakest. She ponders for a moment questioning whether or not it was actually Jacob that she had seen or some made up image of him based upon past experiences, memories and ideals.

_It was just…too…unexpected_.

Jacob had always had abandonment issues stemming from Sarah's untimely death which Leah now chalks up to explain his issue involving letting Bella Swan go. Leah almost expected some sad and pitiful last ditch effort on Jacob's part to try and lure her back to him. To hear him suddenly become Sam and run off at the mouth about: duty, responsibilities, pack loyalty, tribe loyalty, family and every other sentimental rubbish he could think of. Use Seth's safety in his favor or something but instead…he'd been mature and unobtrusive. He seemed to act as if…he was normal…_they_ were normal. Simply two friends realizing that it was time for the other to move on.

Standing up Leah promises herself to make a brief stop in La Push someday to see her Almighty Alpha and see if what she experienced was a shared experience or foolish wishing that her subconscious has concocted to make sure that she didn't go running back to a man who'd love and miss her for all of five minutes before forcing her into hard servitude of his beloved imprint and family.

Finally taking a moment to take in her surroundings Leah can't help but in awe at the forest around her – the new forest. The colors were resplendent than ever and each of her senses felt heightened. At first, when she'd gone through the first phase, she experienced a sensory overload once she became human again – the sun was suddenly much too bright, the collection of scents in the air, the house and around town was overpowering and all of the background noises left Leah with a headache for two days. Now, however, things seemed to be right. Deep down inside she knows that this is how the transition should've been, it was never meant to be taken alone with the human in control at some point and then switching to the wolf/spirit – it was supposed to be a symbiotic lifestyle.

_I'm here with you – always_.

Leah can't help the smile that breaks out across her face hearing, feeling and sensing Willow's presence and words of encouragement. There was nothing to be afraid of and she felt a small tug – a pull urging her to race north.

Shedding her clothes and tying them to her ankle Leah lets out a laugh that becomes a loud yap-bark as she explodes into her wolf form. Digging down deep she tears off through the forest, her paws seeming to move faster than before or maybe she just felt a sense of freedom. She no longer felt weighted down by the demons of her past or the insecurities of the future. Somewhere out there she had a purpose and she knew that she was going to achieve it.

Hearing a loud shrill whistle Leah skids to a halt, her back paws still pedaling forward causing her haunches to slip into the grass. Looking around her eyes widen in excitement seeing Paul, Gio and Lee standing off to the side waving her over. Tail wagging Leah barks at them before disappearing for a moment to change clothes. Reappearing she runs up to them capturing each one in a tight hug.

"Well, looks like someone had a great spirit quest." Lee says chuckling lightly as he hugs Leah just as tightly.

"I did! It was amazing." Leah exclaims looking up at each of the men she's grown to love and can proudly call her brothers. "I've learned so much and I know now what I have to do."

"Leave us, huh?" Paul asks with a small and sad smile on his face. The three men laugh as Leah's smile falls and is replaced with grim realization and confusion. "We could…sense it." Paul explains.

"Yea, so we've come here to say good-bye," Lee states.

"And bearing gifts," Gio adds pulling a pack out from behind him and depositing it at Leah's feet. "It's your clothes." Gio supplements as Leah stands staring down at the bag perplexed.

"I just don't understand, Lily," Lee says with a heavy sigh. "How are _we_ supposed to fall in love if you're not here?" The group of friends breaks out into laughter as Lee rolls his eyes and winks down at Leah before nudging her with his shoulder.

"Who knows Lee maybe absence will make the heart grow founder." Leah offers up before bending down and checking her bag.

"Ignore him Leah. He's only all talk when John isn't around." Paul throws out earning a not-so-playful shove.

"Don't worry John and Ted will say good-bye before you get too far." Gio adds noting Leah's small frown and her eyes darting around searching for their missing pack mates.

The good-byes are heartfelt and warming; touching Leah in a way that she had felt that she was beyond – emotionally. It was full of jokes, playful teasing and sad smiles, well wishes and safe journey. Even though she has only spent several months with this pack Leah can't help but feel closely bonded to them as if she's known them all her life. Her face flushes with embarrassment as tears begin to uncontrollably fall from her eyes but the angered shame is nonexistent as each man gently wipes them away making his own offer and promise to be ready to help her at a moment's notice. It's refreshing knowing that she doesn't always have to hide under the façade of anger, self-control and indifference.

"So...any idea where you're headed?" Paul asks unable to contain the frown of concern.

"Nope, not really…but I do know I'm headed north." Leah answers feeling the same tug deep within her. The feeling is more urgent than before – there's a hint of _timing is of the essence_ echoing within her soul.

"Alright, we won't keep you as we're all sure that John has his own special send off for you." Gio says clapping his hands and breaking the silence that had fallen over the group.

"And Ted will probably take the longest, bawlin' his eyes and cryin' about how much he's going to miss hearing you call him _Teddybear_." Lee adds laughing. Leah waves off the trio, chuckling as they all disappear into the cover of trees talking about the amount of teasing that Ted was going to get when they next saw him.

With a shake of her head and a soft chuckle Leah picks up her pack and shouldering it continues heading north already believing and knowing that the other two would meet with her.

"Took you long enough," Leah can't help the dark smirk that crosses her lips hearing Ted's deep, warm, familiar and sarcastic filled voice.

"Well I'm sorry but I missed the note stating what our rendezvous place and time was supposed to be." Leah states as Ted walks up and stands beside her. The two stare at each other for a moment before they both turn and start walking.

There's a companionable silence between them as they both walk either looking down at the ground at their feet or the world around them. The occasionally brush of skin on the arm or a shared alertness when a groundhog quickly scurries away. Words were sometimes overrated and understated. Ted and Leah weren't the best of friends but they had a common ground between them, a bond that was unique from what she had with the others – even Paul.

"You're not going home, are you?" Ted asks finally breaking the silence between them. Leah frowns noting the disappointment and confusion in his voice.

"No, not yet anyway," Leah answers with a simple shake of her head. "It's not time for me to go back yet. Look, Ted, I know you mean well and want to keep bonds strong…but…back in La Push things are different. The moment I went back I would be stuck – again. I'd go back to running patrols by myself, catering to imprints who are all probably pissed that I left and upset their world order and commanded to stay or go wherever Jacob wants. The questions I have can't be answered back there but…I _know_ that I can find them. I just have to start looking." Leah explains with a small smile.

"You _must_ go back, Leah." Ted states with a deep frown. He knows it's not his place to pry and meddle in Leah's affairs but he could feel his spirit imparting the knowledge upon him – to share with her. The human side had mixed emotions about Leah: happy that there were others out there, those who didn't have the perfect transformation and perfect home life but he still felt threatened by the position Leah was unwittingly obtaining simply because she was easy on the eyes. "They need you there, Leah," Ted adds on as Leah lets out an exasperated sigh.

"We're always going to agree, to disagree, aren't we?" Leah asks with a coy smile. The pair stops both sensing that this was as far as they could travel together. "You know something – or sense something that I'm not aware of," Leah states looking off at the horizon, noting the clear blue sky and a white contrails of a passing plane overhead. "Same as how everyone just seems to know I'm leaving." Ted can only nod his head in agreement. "Right now…I'm not sensing anything from La Push. I'm not sure if it's because I've joined this pack and all ties have been severed with them which is highly unlikely because it wasn't so clean cut when we broke off from Sam. We could still sense…distress once we learned how to pay attention."

"Are you paying attention?" Ted asks the frown and furrowing of his brow deepening.

"Take care of yourself, Teddybear." Leah says with a smirk both ignoring and answering Ted's question. "Find yourself a girl while I'm gone. We're not all bitches who will leave at the drop of a hat. If _my_ Paul can get a girl, albeit through magical means, then so can you." Leah adds pulling Ted into a tight hug. Before he can question her even further Leah has already separated herself from him and jogs away, issuing a quick, hurried and emotional bye and wave.

Leah wishes her good-bye with John is more…playful, open…something other than what he issues the moment he sees her.

"So, you got your pack I see." John says as Leah rounds a tree and sees him standing before her, arms crossed tightly across his chest, a deep and serious look upon his face. "You need to see about getting that money the leeches left you for when the money you saved run out." He states handing her an envelope with her wages.

"John," Leah breathes out sadly.

"Look, let's just save the," John doesn't get to finish his sentence as Leah moves forward, her body colliding with his as her arms wrap tightly around his sides.

"I'm going to miss you." Leah says trying to combat the tears that are falling and failing. She refused to have another horrible send off.

"I – I'm going to miss you too, Lily." John says with a sad sigh, his arms holding her closer as his face buries into the crook of her neck. Silently, both are relieved and saddened that their relationship had not progressed, physically, further than it already had.

Each hold on tightly to the other, taking the moment to retain as many details of the moment as they can: the feel of the other's skin, scent, warmth, heartbeat, rhythmic breathing, the feeling that is consuming them and has consumed them for the last month or so. The hug is broken all too soon in Leah's opinion as John pulls just enough to look her in the eyes.

"I need you to be safe out there." John states becoming serious again; his tone now harboring look of someone who cared and was no longer just an Alpha. "Don't take foolish risks or try to get in over your head." As his and the Elders warm advice falls out Leah feels her eyes begin to sting, nose burn and lip quiver Leah is reminded of the heartfelt good-bye she shared with Sue and the Elders. For the longest, she's felt as if only a small handful of people truly cared about her as an individual and the realization that that circle has grown is almost more than she can bear.

"It'll be okay," John soothes her resting his chin on top of her head, feeling Leah's tears wet his chest. He wants her to stay, to just completely give up on this journey and be content staying with him. However, it's a selfish wish that he knows go against what is best for her and what his spirit knows is best for all of them in the long run. "You'll be just fine – I know you will." John amends kissing the top of Leah's head. "But you know this is your home now, right?" Leah can only look up and nod her head unable to speak to keep herself from becoming a blubbering idiot. "And no matter what you can always call on me."

She hates crying – she's always hated crying because of the lack of control over one's own facial expression and that no one looks good crying. It's a sentiment she shared with him when she abruptly left the rez's community center during a showing of The Lion King and so both can't help but chuckle when she manages to blubber out a 'you bastard'.

"It's just a part of being human," John whispers wiping away Leah's tears and smiling down at her. "It is also nice to know that I mean this much to you." He adds with an air of arrogance as he lightly bumps Leah's nose with the curved tip of his index finger. After a couple of playful shoves, the pair find themselves back into a warm hug, words of building emotions remaining just below the surface but spilling out just enough to silently communicate the shared bond between them.

"I love you, Lily," John says finally breaking the hug and putting out the final good-bye. If they kept this up he'd never let her leave.

"I love you too, Jean." Leah replies back having gained some composure over the water works. It's a love of two friends, friends that have found the first step on the journey in a healing process in one another.

John stands watching with conflicting emotions as Leah walks away from him, her speed slowly picking up with each passing second until finally she's full out running and disappears within the cover of trees. It's only a matter of seconds before he can feel her transformation in the air and a howl of excitement and sadness fills the air. His brothers answer her call, sending her off in the only way their spirits know how. Taking in a deep breath John combs a hand through his hair he releases it finding his spirit already talking to him, reassuring him that _she'll be okay, this is what she has to do_ and _you'll see her again_. Pausing for a moment, he feels a slight twinge of pain – a sense of loss – and he knows that Leah is no longer a part of his pack but he knows that they are not truly separated. Looking back in the direction she's run off too he knows that now they are all bonded together no matter what.

_Have a safe and fulfilling journey Lily_.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so here's the epilogue and I'm sorry that I confused some people. The more I thought about the storyline the more I realized that I was nearing the end of Wake-up Call since I felt that all the main players had just that. So I will start working on Book 2: Journey soon with some bits already outlined. I'd really like to appreciate everyone taking time out of their day to read my story and inspiring me to do better.

Right now I'm trying to write this in a hurry before my laptop freezes but one mentioned that she felt the last chapter was rushed. Sorry about that and I'm sure part of it is that it was written in bits and pieces over the last three months. And I've learned a valuable lesson and that's to keep my big mouth shut because my brain and fingers always have a way of turning on me. I was really excited about the story but as the characters started to progress what I saw in my head at the time just didn't make any sense now...if that makes sense?

But I'm not done writing Twilight stories - not by a long shot so please just remain patient with me as I try to get out what I can. In the meantime, I have a couple of other stories that I may just post along with the next update for Something About Her. I seriously need a personal assistant or some sort of device to write down my thoughts...so if someone could get on top of that and all I ask is just 15% of the sales for the first five years and we'll negotiate from there.


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